iFreak Out!
by iSnarkaholic
Summary: OMG...Sam's going to the gynecologist! Carly/Sam CAM
1. Chapter 1

iFreak Out!

Synopsis: OMG...Sam's going to the gynecologist!

Pairing: Carly/Sam

Genre: Romance/Drama/Hurt/Comfort/Humor

Disclaimer: Be thankful that I don't own iCarly...if I did, it would immediately be yanked off Nick... because of what these two would do!

Rated: "M" (for the usual reasons)

Reviews: Don't be shy...do be intelligent. In case you're wondering what that means...below is an example of _un-_intelligent feedback:

"Yo...Jane Austen! _Sense and Sensibility_ ain't bad...but take out the love scene, and put in a car chase!"

Current Muse: No Rain (Blind Melon)

Carly:

"Carls...got any Advil?" I heard her moan, as she staggered through my front door, one hand on her lower abdomen.

"Oh, no...Sam...is it..."

"Uh...yeah...it is..."

And so it began.

Completely ignoring the fridge (to my shock _and_ disbelief), she made a beeline for my bedroom, dropped her backpack, kicked off her shoes, and dived under my covers...

...and, less than forty-eight hours later, I leaned against the bathroom sink, realizing, with a sigh, that I needed to have a _very_ personal discussion with her. Still I hesitated. Sam hated to be open and direct about any and all girly subjects. But, as I glanced into the nearby wastebasket, I knew we had to talk.

Now.

Returning to my room, I walked over to where she was lying on my bed, curled into the fetal position, hugging a pillow.

"I brought you some ibuprofen."

"Thanks." She took it.

"Mind if I join you?"

"No."

I got into bed and lay on my side, looking at her...not sure how to begin.

She just lay there, looking confused...not sure what to expect.

Finally I just said, "Come here."

She moved closer to me, and I hugged her, and kissed her forehead. Looking into her eyes, I said, "Sam, you know that I love you."

She nodded, and I saw her sad smile.

"Sam...come on...don't! New Year's Eve was two months ago...and I still want to be your friend...even after...well...you know..."

The smile disappeared, and she immediately pulled away from me.

Oh, no. "Sam...it's okay...that's all in the past!" I reached for her again, but she backed up to the far edge of the bed. I moved over to where she lay...and then I saw the tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

"No...don't cry!"

She rolled away from me, and put her hands over her face, and I kicked myself, inwardly, for being so inept. I put my hand on her shoulder, and gently turned her back to face me. "I'm really sorry, Sam...I shouldn't have brought that up. I promise I'm not mad about it anymore."

Her lower lip was trembling, and I put my arms around her neck. "No...don't! I don't even think about that anymore! Honest!"

She was wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Sam...look at me. I'm so sorry...I won't ever mention it again...okay?"

She nodded.

I gently moved the pillow away from her stomach, and asked, "Can I have a hug?"

It was kind of half-hearted on her part, but I hugged her back tightly, holding onto her for a long time. When I did let go, I moved her hair out of her eyes, and then leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "Are you okay?"

She shrugged. "I guess."

Smiling, I reached down and took her hand in mine. "Good. I'm here because I want to talk to you about something."

"What?"

"I was...just emptying the wastebasket..."

"Yeah?"

"...and..."

"And...what, Carls?"

"...uh, don't freak out..."

"Meaning?"

"...you seem to be...uh...bleeding...a lot."

She immediately rolled onto her stomach, and slammed the pillow down over her head. "Tra-la-la...I can't hear you!"

"Sam...that seems like a lot of feminine hygiene products...for only a day and a half."

"Tra-la-la-..."

"Come on..."

"...tra-la-la..."

"Sam, talk to me!"

"...tra-la...No!"

"Why not?"

"Uh...I'm tired."

"Why won't you talk to me about this?"

"It's nothing."

"I disagree. Sam, why won't you just..."

"No!"

"Come on...let's talk about..."

"There's nothing to talk about!"

I took the pillow away from her, and turned her over onto her side, facing me. Then I said, as gently as I possibly could, "Sam...I think you should get checked out."

"For what?"

"For bleeding so much...and for your cramps."

"It barely feels like anything. I'm okay."

"No you're not. I get them too, and I can tell, just by the expression on your face, that you're hurting..."

"I'm not."

"...badly."

"I'm fine."

"Please, Sam...please go to the gynecologist."

"I don't want to!"

"It's no big deal."

"Have _you_ ever been to one, Carls?"

"No."

"Then how do you know?"

"Please, Sam...for me?"

"No!"

"Why not...are you scared?"

"No!"

"Then what's the problem?"

She was cornered...and she knew it.

I stroked her cheek. "Please, Sam," I asked gently, "please go...for me?"

She reconsidered. "If-if I do...w-will you go with me?"

"Of course I will! I went to the dentist with you...didn't I?"

"No...I mean...will you go..._in _with me?"

You mean...while...while he examines you?"

"Yes."

"Sam...uh...are you sure you want me in there with you...during...during..._that_?"

She nodded.

I hesitated; it really seemed kind of personal. Still, I _was_ asking a lot of her. "Well...okay...I guess...if you really want me to..."

"Yes...I do!"

"...if it will make you more comfortable..."

"Yes it will!"

"...okay, Sam, I'll be...in there with you."

"And...and you'll go first?"

"Of course I will...wait...what? What do you mean by 'go first'?"

"You'll 'get on the table' first."

"No way!"

"Why not?"

"Because...I don't need to!"

"I _know _that, Carls...but..."

"No, Sam..."

"Come on!"

"No...I am_ not_ getting a pelvic exam."

"Then neither am I!"

"But...I don't..."

"What's wrong, Carls...are you scared?"

"Of course not!"

"Then what's the problem?"

I was cornered...and I knew it.

"Please...for me?"

"But...but..."

"Please, Carls? Please?" She was shaking...and I could tell how scared she was...about the whole thing.

I caved in. "Okay, okay."

And then she was in my arms. "Thank you."

I kissed her forehead. "Don't worry...everything's going to be alright."

The next afternoon, when we got back from school, I parked Sam in front of my refrigerator, told her I'd be back shortly, and then went upstairs...out of earshot. After doing a little online research of the best gynecologists in Seattle, I called one who looked promising, and made an appointment, for the both of us, for two weeks later.

Afterward, I went downstairs, and waited for Sam to finish eating, and then took her, by the hand, up to my bedroom, and shut the door behind us.

"Carls, what are we doing?" she asked, as I led her over to my desk.

"Research."

"For...?"

"For...what to expect at the doctor's office."

She jerked her hand out of mine. "I don't wanna!"

Busy with Google, I said over my shoulder, "Come on, Sam...what are the 'five P's'?"

"Pizza, popcorn, potato chips, pudding, and pie!"

"Ha ha...very funny...you know which 'five P's' I'm referring to: 'Proper Planning Prevents Poor  
Performance'!"

"Performance?...it's an medical exam...not an opera!"

"Sam...knowledge is power."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that...I know that the first time doing_ anything_ can be extremely sca..."

"Uhhh..." Her eyes were on the door, and I knew she was gonna try to make a break for it.

"Look, Sam...it's okay...I'm sure anyone would be really embarrassed during their first pelv..."

She took off...but I was ready. She had only taken four steps before I was out of my chair, and had strategically planted myself between her and the door, agilely running from side to side; completely blocking her, as she tried, unsuccessfully, to dodge her way around me, and escape from the building. "Uh...I just remembered...I gotta leave! Uh...I have to go...uh...uh..."

I reached out, and put my hands on her shoulders. "I just made an appointment for us, for the Friday morning after next."

"Oh, God!"

"Now, let's just see what's going to happen when we get there." Taking her arm, I gently, but firmly, steered her back over to the computer.

"Carls...no!"

"Sam...this is only going to take a few minutes." I sat back down, and moved her over, until she was standing next to me. "Here...just look at this..."

She took one look at the screen, and I thought she was going to pass out. "Oh, my God!"

"Shh...it's only a website."

"Oh...My...God!"

I reached up, and pulled her down onto my lap, wrapping my left arm around her. "There...I've got you...nothing bad is going to happen to you now."

She was cringing. "Why do I have to look at this?"

"So you'll know what to expect during your exam." I pointed to a graphic, full-color illustration, in the middle of the screen. "Now this the female reproductive system. See, that's the uterus...and over here and here are the Fallopian..."

With a shriek, she hopped up off me, and out of the chair.

I grabbed her wrist. "Where are you going?"

"To scrub my eyeballs with Ajax!"

I pulled her back down onto my lap, and held her close to me...with both arms this time. "Come on...it's not _that_ bad..."

Unfortunately, her attention was now riveted on my arms, which she was attempting to unwrap from her waist. "You know I hate all this stuff!"

"Why?"

"It's...you know...embarrassing!"

"Come on...it's just between us..."

"Yeah, us...and some _perv_ of a doctor!"

"He's not going to say anything...his office is all the way out by Madison Park...so I'm sure he doesn't even know any of our friends."

"Yeah...but..."

"Sam, all of this is just between us...only the two of us...so you don't have to be afr..."

"No...I can't...I don't want to..."

"Look at me."

She turned around. I put my hand on the back of her neck and gently pulled her face toward mine. "Listen...I know you're not used to being so close to...well...to anyone...but I promise...you can always talk to me about this...or any other girly stuff...and I won't laugh...and I promise I'll _never_ tell anyone else...okay?"

"But..."

"And once you've been open and honest with me a few times, I know that you won't even be embarrassed anymore."

"But..."

"...and I promise I'll be just as open with you...you can ask me anything personal...and I'll always discuss it with you, openly, and honestly, and completely...just the two of us...and we'll never tell anyone...okay?"

"Anything?"

"Yes...anything...I promise."

"Why...why do you want to?"

"Because you should have an understanding of, and a positive attitude toward, your body. And it's very reassuring to know that you can always confide in someone...someone who really cares about you."

"But..."

"Please Sam...this would mean a lot to me, too. I don't have any sisters...or a mom. I've never had anyone to talk about this stuff with."

"I...really?"

"Yes...do you know how scary it was for me the first time I got my period...and I didn't have anyone to ask about it?"

"We were friends then...so why didn't you just..."

"Because I didn't think you'd let me...we weren't as close back then...not like we are now."

She was silent, but I could tell that she realized I was right.

I lay my hand against her cheek. "Sam...please be the one person who_ I _can talk to. Please?"

"I don't know..."

I moved us both out of the chair, away from the computer, and took her hand. "Come on...let's just talk...okay? Just the two of us."

She was shaking.

"Please, Sam?"

She shrugged. "Carls...I...don't..."

"How about...if I hold you...will you talk to me then?"

She looked at the floor.

"Sam?"

No answer.

I took a step closer, and she put her head on my shoulder, but instead I led her over to the bed. I turned down the covers, kicked off my shoes, and got in, and then held out my arms. After a moment's hesitation she got in too, and moved into them, and I pulled the covers over us.

I slid my hands up under her shirt, and began to rub her back and, after a few minutes, I felt her relax and snuggle against me, and I wrapped my arms around her. " There...that's it...see...it's just us now..."

I felt her nod.

"...and we can tell each other everything...okay?"

"Y-yes."

"Okay...will you talk to me about your period?"

She immediately tensed up. "What about it?"

"Like...like how many times a day do you have to change your..."

"Uh...I-I...uh..."

"Shh...never mind...I can tell you're still nervous...so why don't I go first...okay?"

She nodded.

I smiled at her. "Okay, go ahead...ask me anything you want...no matter how personal it might be."

"I don't know..."

"Come on...I promise to 'tell all'...no matter what you ask."

"Uh...uh..."

"Come on, Sam...I promise...anything you want to know...anything."

"H-have you ever...kissed a girl?"

"No...I haven't...well...except for...you know..." my voice trailed off. I didn't want to get into it...again.

"No...I mean...have you ever...kissed a girl _back_...you know...like really?"

"No...never."

She buried her face in the pillow. "I wish you would."

I pulled her closer to me. "I know, sweetheart...but...I well...I'm just not..."

"I know..." I heard her sniffle.

"Come on...I do love you, Sam...just...not like_ that_."

She started to cry.

I leaned down, and kissed her on the neck. "I'm sorry."

"I-I know..."

"Shh...don't cry...I promised you we wouldn't talk about that anymore. Let's start this conversation over okay?"

I felt her shrug. "I...don't feel like it."

"Please?"

"I-I can't."

"Please, honey?"

She shook her head.

Damn...after all that effort...and just as she was finally starting to come out of her shell.

I looked down at her, sobbing in my arms...and sighed. I guess I could...just this once...for her. "Sam?"

No answer.

"Sam...look at me...please?"

She did. "What?"

"I-I'm willing to make a deal with you. If I kiss you...right now...can we put all of this behind us...for good?"

She looked confused. "You mean...you'll...?"

"Yes...um...not with...tongue...or anything...but I'll kiss you...if you really want me to...just this one time."

She wiped her eyes on her sleeve. "You will?"

"Yes...and then I'll...I'll hold you...would you like that?"

She nodded. (I knew she would; the poor girl is so starved for affection.)

I smiled at her. "I love you, Sam...I really do."

"I-I love you too."

"Then come here."

I leaned over and put my arm around her, letting my hand rest against her back, and closed my eyes as she leaned toward me and her lips met mine. It was a nice kiss, and a fairly long one, and, although I was moving my lips softly against hers, trying to make it as memorable and romantic as I could for her, and she was responding in the same way, she didn't try to make it into more than I had offered.

When it was over, she lay in my arms, as I rubbed her back. "Are you okay?"

She nodded.

"There, now..."

...and she looked sad again.

I smiled, and pulled her back up to the pillow, close to me, and looked directly into her eyes. "Come on...don't be like that...we're about to be very intimate...I'm going to tell you anything and everything you'd ever want to know about me...things I'll never tell anyone else...things not even Spencer knows...that's your privilege as my best friend."

After I said the last two words, she looked completely devastated, and it killed me to see the hurt in her eyes...knowing that she wanted more...and that I couldn't give it to her.

She shrugged. "I don't know what to ask...or how."

"Just ask me. Anything personal. After the first few questions I promise it'll get easier."

"I still don't know..."

"Well...since we're both going to the gy..." I felt her tense up, "...the...uh...doctor...two weeks from now, why don't we talk about that stuff today? Just ask me something related to that, okay?"

"Okay...uh...how old were you when you first...uh...got your...you know..."

"Sam...say it."

"...p-period?"

"Was that so hard?"

She looked away from me and nodded.

I did my best not to laugh. I put my hand on her cheek and turned her face toward mine. "Look at me. I was twelve the first time I got my period. How old were you?"

"Eleven."

"Sam...say the whole sentence."

"No!"

"Come on, it's only hard the first couple of times."

"Okay...I was eleven the first time I...I..."

"Do I have to tickle it out of you?"

Her eyebrows shot up. "No!"

"Then come on..."

"I...was eleven the first time I...got my...period."

I hugged her. "You're so awesome! That definitely was progress. Ask me again...anything."

"Uh...do you ever...you know..."

"Um...no...what?"

"Never mind!" she said quickly.

"No...just ask me."

"I can't!"

"Even if it's extremely personal...it's okay. Go ahead."

"N-no...I can't..."

"Sam...just ask me really fast...it'll be easier."

"Okay...uh...do you ever...youknowwhackoff?"

"Huh?"

"Uh...whack off?"

"You mean...masturbate?"

"Uh...yeah."

I felt myself blush...but a promise is a promise. "I've done it...a few times."

"That's all?"

"Yeah...what about you, Sam...do you ever...youknowwhackoff?"

I was hoping she'd laugh at the way I'd said it, but she blushed and closed her eyes. "Um..."

"Come on...it's just between us."

"I...uh...uh..."

Come on...honey...just tell me."

"...I can't!"

"I told you that I do it...and I promise it's okay...no matter what your answer is."

"Y-y-yeah...I have..."

"How often?" I asked gently.

"...a...a lot!" She turned her back to me, and hid her face in her hands.

"You mean...like...once a week?"

"No...more...a lot more!"

I curled up behind her, and ran my hand through her hair. "Sam...it's okay."

"No it's not...now you probably think I'm some kinda freak!"

I turned her toward me, and she buried her face in the pillow.

"Sam...Sam, look at me...come on...there, that's better. No I don't...there's nothing wrong with you...it's a perfectly normal thing. Do you do it more as a...a stress release, or more...for...fun?"

"Both."

I tilted her head up until she was looking directly at me. " It's okay...it's perfectly normal, no matter how often you do it."

"It is?"

"Yes...do you feel any better about that now?"

"Y-yes."

I held out my arms, and she hugged me.

"See...it's good to be able to talk about all this stuff! Now you can ask me again...anything."

"Are you...a...virgin?"

"Yes, I'm still a virgin. Are you a virgin?"

"Uh...yeah...I'm still a v-virgin."

"Wow...a complete sentence!"

She blushed.

I grabbed her hand. "Come on...I'm proud of you! Now go ahead...it's your turn again...so ask me...and the more personal, the better."

"Okay...uh...what's your worst...period horror story?"

"Horror story?"

"Yeah...you know...the kind that usually begins, I was wearing white pants that day..."

I laughed and hugged her. "Oh, Puckett, there's hope for you, yet!"

I let her pick my brain and, two hours later, she was actually answering my questions, in complete sentences, and looking much less self-conscious. I decided to call it quits for the day when I heard her stomach growl.

"Hungry?"

"Extremely."

"Sam...thank you...I really enjoyed that."

She looked away and blushed.

"No...I'm serious...can we do it again...soon?"

She nodded shyly. "I-I'd like that."

We sat up, and I turned toward her. "So would I. You know...you deserve a reward for being so brave today."

"What do you mean?"

I reached up, took her face in my hands, and gave her a little kiss on the lips, then leaned back and smiled at her. "That. Now let's go order a piz..."

And, suddenly, I was flat on my back, and she was hugging me.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"For what?"

"You know...all of it."

"_All _of it?"

"Yeah."

"Even the embarrassing stuff?"

"Yes...uh...especial..." she stopped.

I lifted her face to mine. "I'm happy to...anytime...okay?"

She nodded.

I smiled. "But only for you, Sam...only for you."

The days before our appointment passed excruciatingly slowly, as we both eagerly anticipated the coming two weeks of spring break. I didn't mention the doctor again to Sam (not wanting to prolong her agony), until the day before we were scheduled, and, when I did remind her, her face fell; but, much to my surprise, she didn't try to make excuses, or to weasel her way out of it.

I'd invited her to sleep at my place the night before our appointment (I was taking no chances on her "forgetting" (or fleeing the state), but, even though she ate dinner with her usual gusto, I could tell she was nervous about the next morning. I tried to distract her by letting her watch whatever she wanted on TV, instead of fighting her for the remote, like we usually do, but, despite tuning in to her favorite shows, she spent most of the evening staring at the floor instead of the screen.

Finally, we went upstairs.

I let her shower first, and when I came back from the bathroom and climbed into bed, she was lying on her stomach, facing away from me, with a pillow under her, and her arms wrapped around it.

I moved closer to her. "Sam."

"Yeah?"

"Are you...okay?"

"Yeah...goodnight, Carls."

"Would you like to talk?"

Still not looking at me, she shook her head.

"Sam?"

She pulled the covers up over her head.

I did the same to myself, and then moved over to her side of the bed, pushed her T-shirt up as far as I could, and rubbed her back. "It's going to be fine."

She didn't respond, so I climbed on top of her, and wrapped my arms around her waist, then kissed her, noisily and repeatedly, between her bare shoulders. "Hey...Sam?"

She turned to look at me.

"We're going to suffocate under here." I climbed off her, slid my hand under her shoulder, and turned her over onto her back, then I pulled the covers down to our chins, and snuggled up against her. "Is this okay?"

She nodded, and I felt her arms go around me.

"Carls?"

"Yes?"

She hesitated, then shook her head.

"What?"

"No...I..."

"Sam, whatever it is, you can tell me."

Trembling, she let go of me, and slowly turned me over onto my back, then moved her head onto my chest, and, after a moment's hesitation, rested her face between my breasts.

"C-carls?"

I pulled her closer. "Yes, honey...it's fine...I don't mind."

At breakfast the next morning I could tell she was feeling apprehensive, since she only ate four pieces of French toast, instead of her usual nine, and since she was completely silent during the bus ride. I didn't try to make her talk...not feeling up to giving a 'gung-ho' speech, instead using the time to say a silent prayer that all would go well at the doctor's office, and that there was nothing seriously wrong with her.

We had a ten-thirty appointment with Dr. Philip Anderson, of Anderson and Bradley, here in Seattle. I had deliberately picked him for two reasons...his eleven excellent online reviews...plus, the fact that he was located over on the other side of town...to spare Sam from worrying that we might run into someone we knew.

When making the appointment I had specifically requested that the nurse _not_ be in the room...since Sam was vehemently opposed doing this "in front of an audience," so, after we had put on the hideous gangrene-green gowns, and had been shown into the examination room, the nurse announced that she'd be waiting just outside the (closed) door, and for us to call her if we needed anything.

After she had left the room, Sam turned to me. "My God...they asked a ton of _incredibly_ personal questions on those 'patient profile' forms!"

"I know...but writing all of that stuff down is definitely less embarrassing than having to say it to his face."

She shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. Carls, I really don't want to do..."

Just then, Doctor Anderson walked in. "Good Morning, ladies."

Sam, trembling, just stared at him.

I turned from her and sized him up. He was about fifty, tall and athletic-looking, with graying temples; and he was very nicely dressed, under his white lab coat. Overall, he had an intelligent, capable, friendly air about him, and I hoped that Sam also thought he seemed non-threatening. I looked over at her again, but she hadn't moved, and, suddenly I realized that we hadn't spoken to him yet. "Hi, Dr. Anderson...uh...the receptionist said that you wouldn't mind if we both get checked at the same time."

He smiled. "Not at all...lots of women bring their partners in with them."

"No, we're just friends!" I said...too quickly.

Sam instantly looked hurt, and stared at the floor, and I immediately regretted having said anything at all.

He was washing his hands, with his back to us, and I leaned over and whispered, "Sam...I'm sorry...I shouldn't have..."

She shrugged, her eyes still on the floor.

Desperate to keep her from becoming even more anxious and upset than she already was, I reached over, grabbed both her hands, pressed them tightly against my chest, and jiggled them up and down...

...and she smiled...in spite of herself.

"Ha-ha..." I whispered, "...I knew you couldn't stay mad!"

I let her hands drop as the doctor turned away from the sink, and walked back toward us. "Okay, so who's first?"

Sam immediately took a step backward.

"I-I'll go first," I said, climbing onto the table. After lying down, I let him guide my legs into the stirrups, and then, at his direction, I slid down to the edge of the table...while trying my hardest not to shake, because, truth be told, I was scared shitless...I just didn't want Sam to know.

She immediately reached over, and took my hand.

Less than a minute later I felt myself blushing a vivid shade of red, and found myself looking everywhere _except_ at Sam, who now was watching, closely, as the doctor examined my breasts. (In her defense, as part of the deal I had told her that she was allowed to watch _whatever_ he did when he examined me...for educational purposes...since I was confident that she'd be way too scared about what was coming to actually enjoy anything she might see him do to me.)

When he finally walked around to the lower end of the table, she didn't follow him (okay...much to my relief), but, instead, leaned down, and put her arms around me. "It's okay, I'm right here," she whispered.

I pulled her closer, smiling to hide my nervousness, trying to relax, but so glad to be in her arms, because when he opened that speculum it hurt...a lot. I gasped, and then I felt her running her hand through my hair.

"Shh...I've got you, Carls... just a few more minutes."

It was no fun at all...and I hated that I involuntarily flinched and winced...every single time he poked and prodded me.

Overall, the whole ordeal sucked, especially when he did the Pap smear...but finally, he told me I was done.

Silently thanking God that I had survived, I got off the table, and smiled at Sam. "See? That wasn't so bad."

She was trembling.

I walked over and gave her a hug.

Dr. Anderson came back from the hand-washing sink, pulling on a fresh pair of gloves. "Okay, Sam you're next...if you'll just finish getting undressed."

"No! This is as far as I'm going!"

I turned to her. "Sam...boxers off!"

"No!"

I immediately realized I had just been way too harsh. "Sam..." I said gently...

"No!" She turned to the doctor. "I-I want to leave them on...can't you just...go in through the trap door in the front?"

"No, Sam, I can't."

Realizing that the longer we waited, the more afraid she'd have time to become, I stepped behind her and yanked them down...

"HEY!"

...to her ankles.

I picked them up off the floor, and brandished them in her face. "Look, I have them right here...and you can put them right back on...the minute he's finished...okay?"

She was shaking as she looked at the table. "But...I'm...I'm..."

Setting the boxers aside, I took her hand. "It's okay, honey...come on...I'll help you."

I hugged her close to me, and then gently lifted her up onto the table. "Lie down...that's it," I whispered, gently lowering her onto her back. I leaned over and kissed her forehead, then glanced over, questioningly, at Dr. Anderson. He smiled and nodded.

Walking around to the lower end of the table, I carefully guided her legs into the stirrups, and then, with a reassuring smile, I put my arms around her waist, and helped her slide down to the end of the table. Then I returned to the side of the table, and took her hand.

"Carls...I-I don't...want..."

Realizing what was going through her mind, I immediately turned my back to the bottom edge of the table, and looked into her eyes. "Don't worry," I whispered, "I promise I won't watch."

Dr. Anderson turned away from his tray of instruments, on the counter at the far side of the room. Walking toward where Sam was lying, he promptly tripped over her backpack, which she'd carelessly left lying in the middle of the floor.

I heard it happen, and turned, just in time to see him catch himself, with one hand grabbing onto the edge of the table, as the metal speculum slipped out of his other hand, and brushed against Sam's bare leg.

"Oops...sorry about..."

"Ow!" she gasped.

With an apologetic smile, he scrambled back onto his feet. "Sorry...I..."

Her eyes were wide, with horror and rage. "Don't you dare point that thing at me!"

"Now Sam..." I began...

Sitting up abruptly, her hand shot forward, and, grabbing him by the necktie, she dragged his face over to hers. "Listen hobknocker, put that thing back in the freezer _right now..._and leave me alone!"

"I...I, uh..." he stuttered.

"This is_ not_ a request!"

"Sam...Sam look at me!" I demanded.

She did.

"Let...him...go."

"But..."

"Now."

"But..."

I shot her 'The Look'.

She let him go.

I reached over and caressed her cheek. "Hey, it's okay...I know you're nervous...and that's perfectly understandable...since you didn't watch when he examined me...and aren't sure what to expect. Would you like me to tell you what's going to happen?"

"N-no! Let's just get this over with!"

I kissed her forehead, and lay a hand on her shoulder. "Come on...lie down, honey...there we go...that's it."

I took her hand, and slowly ran my fingers through her hair...something I've always done in the past to relax her when she's been upset. After a minute or two her breathing evened out, and I turned to him and nodded.

Dr. Anderson moved back to the end of the table. "Don't worry, Sam...I'm sure what you're imagining is far worse than the reality. Now just relax...I'm going to insert two fingers into your..."

"And I'm outta here!" she yelled, springing up. I immediately flung myself across her chest, pinning her to the table, with my feet off the floor, and my bare butt hanging out for the world to see, as she flailed.

"NOOO!"

I tried to look into her eyes. "Hey...don't worry...everything is going to be okay."

"NOOO!"

"Come on Sam...for me."

"NOOO!"

"Sam...you _promised_!"

"NOOO!"

I heard the nurse on the other side of the door. "Is everything okay in there?"

"NOOO!"

"Then maybe I should just come in..."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"We're fine Ms. ...uh...Ms. Nurse!" I called to her. " No need to come in! Sam! Pull yourself together! Please!"

Wild eyed, she continued to flail...and, still lying on top of her, I turned, looking half apologetically, half pleadingly at the doctor.

Dr. Anderson attempted a fatherly smile. "Now Sam, just try to rela...WHOA!" he yelled, jumping back, as her left heel narrowly missed his chin.

I bent down, pinned her arms, and put my face over hers, our noses touching. "Hey! Come on...I just did it...and look, I'm still alive!"

She stopped kicking for a moment, and looked back at me. "Yeah...but don't you feel...invaded?"

I did feel _incredibly_ invaded...not to mention kind of sore...but I wasn't about to tell her that.

Dr. Anderson called over his shoulder. "I'll just be over here...while you two sort this out! He retreated to a far corner of the room and sat down."

"Look, Sam, his arms aren't long enough to reach you from way over there. Now calm down."

"I-I can't do this!"

"Look, honey, I know you're not used to having _anything_ in or around your..."

"Carls!"

"Come on," I said gently, "It'll only take a few minutes...and it's not as awful as you think it's going to be...I promise."

And then her arms were around me...

...and I hated what I had to say to her next.

I looked into her eyes and said in a low voice. "Sam...I really do love you..."

"I know."

"...and...and that's why we're here...you know how I lost my mom," I whispered.

She nodded slowly, looking remorseful.

They'd never met...but I had told Sam, years ago, about my mother losing her battle with ovarian cancer, when I was seven, right before we moved to Seattle.

"I-I'm sorry, Carls."

I kissed her forehead. "Shh...it's okay."

"I'm...just so..."

"Please, Sam...please...if you _really_ love me...do this for me...I-I don't ever want to...to..." I couldn't even bring myself to say it.

She looked near tears. "I know. I'm sorry...I-I'm just so..."

"It won't take long...I promise. And I'm right here with you."

"Does...does it hurt?"

"I'm not going to lie to you...yes it does...a little."

"I'm...I'm scared, Carls," she whispered.

I looked at her for a long moment. "W-what if I gave you something else to think about...to take your mind off it."

"Like what?"

"Um...uh...maybe I could...uh...kiss you again...later...would you like me to?"

She looked confused. "But...you said never ag..."

"I know...I know I did...but I will...for you...one more time...if you want me to."

She nodded. "I-I'd really like that."

"So focus on that now...okay? It's something to look forward to."

"Uh...when can we...?"

"Tonight...okay?"

"Promise?"

"Yes, honey...tonight...I promise...okay?"

"Okay."

Looking into her eyes, I could tell she was coming around...but we weren't quite there...yet.

I kissed her forehead one more time, and then stood up. "Now if you'll excuse me, wrestling always gives me an appetite..."

...and I reached inside my handbag.

"Uh...Carls?"

"Yes?"

Her eyes were riveted to the oversized zip-lock bag in my hand. "What's that?"

"Just a snack."

"Is it...is it...what I think it is?"

"You mean bacon...yes, Sam, I guess it is." I could tell that she knew, with only a glance, that it wasn't just any old bacon.

"Carls?"

"Yes?"

"Wh-where did that bacon come from?"

"A pig...why do you ask?" (I wasn't going to make this easy for her.)

"No, I mean, where did it come from?"

"Where all our bacon comes from...my cast iron skillet."

"No...I mean..._where did it come from?"_

"Oh...you mean like...country of origin?"

She nodded, vigorously.

"Hmm...I don't really remember...was it Belgium...no...maybe Botswana...or was it Bangladesh?"

"Bolivia? Is that B-bolivian bacon?"

"Hmm, you know...I think it just might be."

"C-c-can I have some?"

"No way! Once you factor in the import tax, plus shipping, this stuff is $48.00 per pound!"

"Please, Carls,_ please_ can I have some?"

"Sorry, Sam...there's only enough in this bag for _good_ girls."

"Please...I'd give almost anything for it!"

I stared down at her. "Would you _do_ almost anything for it?"

"You mean...?"

"Yes, just cooperate with the doctor, so we can get out of here."

"Okay." She reached for the bag.

"No-no-no, Sam! Effort equals reward!"

Her legs flew back up into the stirrups.

I set the bag down, and hugged her, and said, softly, "Sam...can we try again?"

"Y-yes."

"Don't worry...it's only for a few minutes...and you'll be in my arms the whole time...okay?"

She nodded.

I pulled back, and looked into her eyes. "And then the whole bag is yours."

"The _whole_ bag? But...but you love Bolivian bacon just as much as I..."

"I know, Sam...but I don't care. If you cooperate...right now...it's all yours...the entire pound...I promise."

"Okay...I guess."

(Almost there.)

"So...for the next few minutes, Sam...just think about bacon...and kisses..."

She pulled my head down onto her chest, and whispered, "Okay," and I felt her arms tighten around me. "Carls...I love you."

I wrapped my arms around her, and nuzzled her neck, then looked up into her eyes. "I know...I love you back...that's why we're here today," I whispered.

"I...I know. Did you really mean what you said...about tonight?"

"Yes, Sam...we will...I promise."

"W-when?"

"How about...right after dinner?"

"Okay."

I smiled at her. "What are you thinking about right now?"

"Bacon...and kisses."

"Good girl." Still lying on her chest, I turned my head and called across the room, "Doctor Anderson? Whenever you're ready."

He nodded from behind his copy of Deathly Hallows...and mumbled, "Wait...only three more chapters..."

Thirty minutes after he'd finished examining her, the lab results were ready, and we were directed into his study. I sat in front of his desk and pulled Sam's chair right over to mine, while we waited for him to come in.

I handed her the bag of bacon, and she immediately stuffed it into her inside jacket pocket...without even looking at it...and I knew...right then...that she was absolutely terrified.

"Sam...everything is going to be okay."

"Carls...I'm so scared!"

"Listen to me...you're only seventeen...so I'm sure it's nothing."

"But...but what if it _is_?"

"Then I'm sure it's nothing serious. Whatever happens...I'm here for you...okay?"

Before she could answer, Dr. Anderson came in, and sat at down at his desk.

I could feel Sam trembling, her shoulder pressed against mine. I realized that it was best to get the whole thing over with as quickly as possible, so I looked at him and said, "Well, Doc...just give it to us straight."

He looked at us over the top of his clipboard, and nodded. "All right...we did find a uterine cyst."

Sam whimpered softly, and I took her hand.

I asked, "You mean like a...a fibroid? I've heard of those."

"No...a more rare kind to find in the uterus...a hemorrhagic cyst, which is an inflamed, blood-and-pus-filled sack, growing on the lower uterine wall, just inside the opening of the cervix...which is why we found it today...without having to perform additional tests."

"H-how big is it?" Sam asked.

"It appears to be about the size of a grape...we'll know for sure when we're actually able to go in, and look at it properly. It can be removed through a completely safe, minimally invasive, surgical procedure."

She was shaking, and I gripped her hand more tightly and said, "So...it definitely...requires surgery?"

"Yes. It's far preferable to remove it, completely, rather than trying to treat it with medication."

Sam began shaking so hard against me that my entire body was shaking along with her. I moved both my hands over to her lap, and felt her own hands twisting tightly around them.

"It's okay," I whispered. Turning back to Dr. Anderson, I asked, "Is there...is there anything else?"

"Yes, actually. In addition, there appears to be an extensive amount of clotting...abnormal build-up of the uterine lining...so I'm also going to order a D&C."

"W-what's that?" Sam asked, in a shaky voice.

"It stands for 'dilation and curettage', during which a woman's uterus is dilated; and a thin, sharp instrument is used to scrape away the excess tissue..."

She gasped, and buried her face against my shoulder.

"...and I can perform both procedures at the same time, under general anesthesia, and it's still not considered to be major surgery."

I heard her sniffle, and I whispered, "Shh...don't worry." I turned back to Dr. Anderson. "What are the side effects?"

"Some pain...at the site of the incision...until the stitches come out..."

"S-stitches? H-how many?" Sam asked him.

"That depends on the actual size of the cyst...I estimate anywhere from eight to twenty."

Her face was whiter than white, and I was afraid she was going to pass out. I wrapped my arm around her waist, and asked him, "And...are there any other side effects?"

"In some instances there may be extreme cramping...and heavy bleeding."

Sam started to cry, and he looked at her, sympathetically. "I know...I know that the whole thing sounds horrible...but there's really nothing to be afraid of."

"No...I...I.." and she broke down, completely.

"Don't worry Sam," he continued, "it only requires a hospital stay of a few days..."

"...b-but..."

"...and then Carly will be back home."

My jaw dropped. "W-what?"

Confused, he turned to me. "Carly didn't you realize that I was talking about you? The cyst is in_ your_ uterus."

"But...I...I...but_ Sam_..."

"Sam does have heavy periods...but from the way she describes it, they still fall within what can be considered the normal range. They may seem excessive to you...since you stated on your chart that you don't bleed very much."

"But...I...there's _no way_...I could...have..."

"Those bad cramps you described on your paperwork...I think we've found the cause of them...and the blockage, plus all that clotting, probably explains why your don't have much of a menstrual flow..."

I slumped against Sam, and felt her shaking arms go around my shoulders. "Carls...it's...it's g-going to be okay."

I held onto my own arms, and started rocking back and forth. "Oh God...no...oh my God." I whispered.

Dr. Anderson leaned across the desk, and smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry, Carly...you're in very capable hands. One thing though...since your blood type is AB negative, we recommend that you bank a pint with us before we schedule you for..."

According to Sam, we didn't leave the doctor's office for another fifteen minutes...but that's really all I remember...

A/N: Well...shall I continue? Your feedback inspires...and encourages...me to continue to spend my (scarce) free time writing...


	2. Chapter 2

Sam:

Two days ago, my mom cashed her unemployment check and gave me twenty bucks, which I'd been planning to spend tonight at the new rib joint on Spring Street, to reward myself for surviving a morning of gynecological hell; but I willingly sacrificed it to bring Carly home in a taxi.

We were silent on the ride back to her place, which was fine, since I realized that she wouldn't want to discuss what had happened in front of the driver. She spent the entire trip staring straight ahead, with her hands folded in her lap...I spent it trying, unsuccessfully, to find the right words to say once we got home.

After we returned to the apartment, and I sat her down on the couch, she finally spoke. "Are you hungry? I could..."

"Carls, don't worry about making me lunch...or dinner."

"Sam...really...I'll just..."

"No, Carls, thanks...but I actually had...other plans for this evening."

"Are you sure?"

"I am...unless you want me to stay with you tonight...because I could cancel..."

"No...that's not necessary."

"But...don't you think we...should talk about..."

"Sam?"

"Yes?"

"Actually...I'd...like to be by myself for a little while...do you mind?"

"Carls, I don't think..."

"Please, Sam."

"Well...would you like me to stay with you...just until Spencer gets home?"

"No...he should be here any minute."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

I thought it over. It's just going to be that much harder for her to tell him if I'm here...and I guess she wants to have a few minutes by herself before he gets home...to figure out exactly how she's going to say it.

Still, I didn't like the idea of leaving her alone...not after what she'd just been through. "But...maybe..."

"I'll be fine...don't worry."

I leaned over and pulled her to my chest. "No...don't _you_ worry, Carls...everything is going to be okay."

She nodded, and, as she held me close, I felt hard edges of the bacon in my jacket pocket, pressing against me, and suddenly, I remembered what she had promised me earlier...and how much I'd been looking forward to it...

...and, I realized, at that moment, that nothing in the world mattered to me less.

I got up off the couch and looked down at her. She looked back at me, with what I'm sure was her most reassuring smile, then she turned me around, and, without a word, gave me a good whack on the butt.

And...against my better judgment...I left.

Late that night, my phone rang. I tried to ignore it, but, after the ninth ring I reached, exasperated, under my pillow, grabbed it...and, after some fumbling, managed to flip it open in the darkness of my bedroom. "Hello?"

"Hi...I'm not sure if I have the right number...or the right person...is this...Sam?"

"Yes," I slurred, sleepily, "and tell that hobknocker cook of yours no anchovies this time! _And_ bring it around to the back door...not the fron..."

"Sam, it's Spencer."

"Huh? W-what time is it?"

"Almost one-thirty. I'm so sorry to call you this late, but...it's...it's Carly."

And I was wide awake. "What about her?"

"She's locked herself in her room...and she's really upset...and she won't let me in. Sam, what happened?"

"It's the...it's the...uh..." and then, suddenly, I realized...

...she hadn't told him...

...anything.

"It's...uh...complicated."

"Can you possibly come over, Sam? I'm sure she'll listen to you."

"Yeah...of course...but my mom's out...so I'll have to walk..."

"No you won't. I'd come pick you up on my motorcycle, but I don't want to leave Carly alone, so I just called for a taxi. It should be there in about fifteen minutes."

"I...yeah...don't worry, Spencer...I'll be right over."

I threw on some clothes, and then paced at the curb in front of my house, waiting anxiously for the cab. During the ride to her apartment I sat, stunned, with my head in my hands. Why didn't she tell him?

Once inside Bushwell Plaza, I tore down the eighth floor hallway, and saw Spencer, holding the apartment door open for me. "Sam, thank you so much for coming...she...really has me scared."

"Tell me _exactly_ what happened."

"Well, I got home around five..."

"Five?"

"Yes...why...?"

I realized, then, that she had been home...all alone...for the entire afternoon.

Not good.

"Uh...nothing, Spencer...go on."

"...and she wasn't acting like herself at all, so I asked her what was upsetting her...and she said she didn't want to talk about it. And, as the evening passed, she was acting more and more agitated and distraught, so, around ten-thirty, I put my arms around her and told her that, no matter what was wrong, she could confide in me..."

"Yes?"

"...and she freaked out, completely...and then she tore upstairs and locked herself in...she's been in there ever since...and every time I go up there she won't answer...all I've heard is her crying, off and on, since then."

I ran for the staircase.

He followed me up to her room, and I could hear muffled sobs coming from inside. "Spencer, will you wait downstairs?"

"But...I..."

"Please...let me talk to her...alone."

After he left, I knocked. "Carls...can I come in?"

She didn't answer, but I could hear her sniffling.

I picked her lock easily, and opened the door a crack. "Carls, I'm coming in now...it's just me...okay?"

No answer.

When I entered, the room was silent...and appeared to be completely empty.

"Carls?"

No answer.

"Hey...Carls?"

There was no reply, but, as I strained my ears, I thought I heard a faint sound coming from over by the windows. I walked around to the far side of the bed and...

...I found her...

...lying on the floor...

...with her face in her hands.

"Carls...I'm here. Hey...everything is going to be alright now."

She didn't look up at me, but she shook her head, and I heard her sob, into the rug, _"I...want my mom_!_"_

I knelt down beside her, pulled her up against me, and wrapped my arms around her. "She's...not here, Cupcake..."

"S-Sam...I-I'm so scared!"

"Don't worry...it isn't major surgery."

"Yes it is!"

"You're going to recover in no time."

"No!"

"Of course you will...I know that Spencer will take excellent care of you."

"No...not him!

"Why not?"

"I don't want him to...to..."

"But he's your..."

"He's...a guy!"

"Oh...I see."

She buried her face in my chest, and sobbed, "What am I gonna do? I don't have anyone to..."

"Yes you do...I'll be here."

"Sam...I...I..."

"Carls...look at me."

She shook her head against my chest.

"Please?"

"I...c-can't!"

"Then listen to me. I'll be here...for _whatever_ you need...I _promise_."

"Sam..."

"Come on...let's get off the floor."

She let me help her to her feet, and I put her into bed. I kicked off my shoes, and stretched out next where she lay, on her back, with one arm across her eyes. Despite my repeated efforts, she wouldn't talk to me...but at least she wasn't crying anymore.

I noticed that she was still in the clothes she'd worn that day so, after leaning over and giving her a hug, I reached down, under the covers, and started to undress her. I pulled off her shoes and socks, and dropped them on the floor beside the bed, then I unzipped her jeans and, with some difficulty, slid them down past her hips.

"Sam...wh-what are you doing?"

"It's okay..."

"Are you...taking off my pants?"

"Yes."

"Stop it!"

"Carls, you can't sleep in your clothes."

"Sam...I don't want..."

"Shh..." I whispered, "...I'm just going to put you to bed."

Once her pants were off, I reached under her shirt and, after some effort, got her bra unhooked, and pulled it out through her sleeve.

"Sam...stop...I don't want you to do th..."

"It's okay..."

"No...it's..."

"Shh..." Once she was in just her shirt and underwear, I slid back under the covers and lay down next to her again. "See...isn't that better?"

She didn't answer me.

"Carls?"

She didn't respond, so I moved closer, and wrapped my arms around her.

As soon as I did, she flinched. "No! Don't!"

"Shh...it's okay...I'm not going to..."

"No...please don't touch me!"

I didn't understand...I mean...after all the times that she'd pulled me to her in this bed, and we'd cuddled together. "But...Carls..."

"Sam...No!"

"But..."

"No! I don't...just...just leave me alone!"

"Okay...if that's what you want." Hurt and confused, I moved away to the far side of the bed...and turned my back to her, silently trying to comprehend what she must be feeling and thinking; and trying to figure out what I should say or do next.

Then she started to cry again...and the sound of it was absolutely heartbreaking. I rolled over onto my right side, reached across the bed, and laid my hand on her shoulder. "Hey."

"Stop it! I don't want you to!"

"Shh...It's okay...I'm not trying to..."

Her back still to me, she suddenly grabbed my arm, and flung it away from herself. "No...it's not! Get off me!"

Completely bewildered and unnerved, I sat up, and leaned over. "Carls...wh-what's wr..."

She rolled over and looked at me, crying hard. "Get away from me! Don't you_ ever_ touch me again!"

Shaken to my center...I got out of bed and, without even bothering to put on my shoes, ran toward the door...

...I just wanted to get away from it...

...from all of it...

...but...

...I couldn't.

Hands on the door frame, head bowed, I forced myself to stop and reconsider. No matter how horrible she was...or could ever be to me, I couldn't abandon her...

...especially not now.

With one last glance at the hallway...the easy way...I turned around, and slowly walked back into the room.

Her head was buried under the covers.

"Carls...do...do you want me to leave?"

No answer.

"Carls?"

Silence.

I was afraid to go anywhere near the bed again, so I climbed up into her window seat and leaned, with my right cheek against the cold, damp windowpane, staring silently, out at the profound blackness which hung like a shroud over the city...staring numbly...with absolutely no idea what to say to her in the morning...and way too exhausted to even try to figure it out.

I'm not sure how long I was asleep, but I opened my eyes to darkness, so it couldn't have been more than two hours. I removed my face from where it still lay, pressed against the glass, and, rubbing my now-stiff neck, looked away from the window...

...and saw her, still undressed, standing next to me.

Without a word, she climbed into the window seat, and sat between my legs, and then leaned back, curling up against me. I sat, with my hands on my bent knees, motionless and confused, just looking at her, and was surprised when she took hold of my arms and pulled them around herself, then turned, putting her own around me, pulling me close to her, and burying her face in my neck.

"Sam...I...love you..."

"I know."

"...and I'm _so_ sorry...about what I just said...and what I did."

"It's oka..."

"No it's not! There's no excuse for how I..."

"Shh..."

"No, Sam...there isn't! I know I hurt you!"

I shrugged, turning my face away from her, and back toward Seattle.

"I...promise I'll _never_ say or do anything like that to you again...ever."

I nodded.

"D-do you want me to...to get up...and leave you alone?"

I shook my head.

"Are you...sure?"

I nodded.

She moved her head down under my chin, and suddenly, I felt her lips on my chest, through my T-shirt. "Please, Sam...please...don't let go of me."

"I won't."

"Not _ever_...please!"

"I won't, Carls."

"You...were thinking about it."

"I..."

"Sam...promise me!"

"I promise."

I felt her hands pressing against my back, trying to hold me as close to her as she possibly could. "I...I like being...with you...like this."

I nodded.

"...I like it _so_ much. When I am...it...it reminds me of how much you...how much...you...Sam?"

I couldn't look at her, knowing that my eyes would immediately and absolutely betray me, so I just kept staring out the window.

"Are you...mad at me?"

"No."

"You are."

"No...I'm not."

Although she obviously was trying, she couldn't hide the tremors in her voice as she asked, "Then...why won't you stop looking out the window?"

"Shh...let's just be quiet together for a little while...okay?"

"Please Sam...please look at me."

I tightened my arms. "Shh..."

"But...Sam..."

"Shh..."

"Please!"

I shook my head.

"Sam...I...I...promised you something...yesterday."

I didn't reply.

"Don't you...still want to?"

"Carls..."

"You don't want me to...to kiss you an...anymore?"

"Carls..."

"Please, Sam...please let me!"

"Not right now."

She started to sob. "You're mad at me!"

"No."

"I...I'm sorry! I had no right to be that way toward you...no right at all...but please don't hate me!"

"I don't."

"I swear I'm sorry...and I swear I'll _never_ push you away from me again! How can I make you believe me?"

"I do."

"No...you don't! Please, Sam...please don't be like this! I'll...I'll do _anything!"_

"I'm not..."

"Yes you are!"

Her sobs were stabbing straight through my heart, and, finally, I turned away from the window. "Carls...the only thing that I'm able to think about right now...is...you getting well."

"Are...are you sure? Are you...sure that you're...not..."

"I'm not."

"Really?"

"Yes. Really."

"Sam...I'm so sor..."

"Shh." I moved my head lower, until I was looking directly into her eyes. "Carls, I know that you're completely freaked out about what happened at the doc..."

"No, I'm not," she replied, with astonishing calmness. "Not anymore."

"Oh...uh...are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Then...you'll have the surgeries done?"

"Yes."

"Soon?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"I...I will."

"Okay...but when?"

"Sam...this is a major thing!"

"The doctor says it's not."

"But it is...to me. Just give me a chance to...to..."

I gave in. "I know...to get used to the idea...and to prepare yourself mentally for it."

She nodded. "So please...don't push me...I'll...I'll go...when I'm ready."

I nodded. "I meant what I said earlier...I promise I'll take care of you. For as long as you need me to."

"I...know." She closed her eyes, and leaned forward, and then I felt her lips against my neck.

"Carls...what are you thinking about?"

"Will you...come back to bed?"

"I...don't...think I should. I don't...want to make you...uncomfortable aga..."

"No, please! I want to hold you...s-so badly...Sam, please say you'll let me!"

I nodded.

"What about the...the kiss...I promised you?"

"Maybe...

"Sam...I'd really like to."

...maybe some other time."

"But..."

"Carls?"

"Y-yes?"

"It's time to tell Spencer."

"I can't!"

"Carls...it's time to tell him."

"Sam...I can't!"

"Would you like me to be there with you...while you do?"

"I can't tell him!"

"He's your brother!"

"But...he's a guy!"

"Exactly...which means he's...uh...I'm sure he's been...uh...groped...during physicals, too. So the two of can swap horror stories."

"This is different."

"Not really."

"Yes it is, Sam! They're going to go up...up in...s-side me...and scr-scrape..." And she broke down.

"Shh...Carls..."

"Sam...no...I can't tel..."

"...would you like me to tell him for you?"

"But..."

"Carls...we're not going to wait on this."

"But..."

"No. I'm sorry, Carls...but we're _not_ going to...he's extremely worried about you."

She pressed her face deeply into my chest, and shook her head.

"Would you...like me to tell him?"

At first I thought she hadn't heard me...but then she nodded.

"Alone?"

"Y-yes. Would you?"

"Okay...wait here...I'll be back."

"Sam...uh...please don't...uh...you know..."

"Don't worry...I won't be too graphic...or say anything to embarrass you."

Twenty minutes later, I was back in the bedroom.

"Sam...what did he..."

Just then, we heard him knock.

"Hey, Kiddo...uh it's me. I'm not going to come in...but...uh...can you hear me? One knock for yes...two knocks for no."

She just sat on edge of her bed, looking fearfully, in the direction of the door.

"Come on, Carls..." I whispered, "...it's okay." I held out my hands and she took them; then I gently pulled her onto her feet and, with my arm around her shoulders, led her to door.

"Sam..." she whispered.

"Go on, Carls...knock once."

I felt her entire body shaking under my arm...but she knocked.

I heard his sigh of relief on other side of closed door.

"Look, Carly...um...Sam told me about your...your...you know...your...uh...um...uh...your...uh.._.ingrown_ _toenail_...and I know that you're...probably embarrassed to tell me anything about your...trip to the gyne...uh...um... the podiatrist, and I realize that it would probably make _anyone_ self conscious to discuss fem...uh...foot-related subjects...so I'm not going to try to get you to talk about it...ever. I just want you to know that if you ever do want to discuss it...I'm here...okay? One knock for yes...two for no."

She hesitated for a moment, and then she knocked once.

"Good. I promise I won't bring it up at all...ever...and if I do, you have my permission to tell Sam about the time Socko made me those light-up boxer shorts, and how I got caught in that awful thunderstorm, and...and about all the embarrassing questions I had to answer at the hospital."

"Too late, Spencer," I called, "you've just spilled."

"Well, yeah...but I didn't mention all the humiliating comments I...had to put up with...in the locker room at the fencing club. After all...the hair still hasn't grown back on the left side of my...oops!"

To my surprise, she laughed.

"Can I open the door...just a crack? One knock for yes...two for no."

She knocked once.

He stuck his head inside. "Hi, you two...It's almost six a.m., and I just wanted to let you know that Chez Spencer is now open for breakfast...so, can I take your order? What are you in the mood for, Sam?"

I thought it over for a moment, then replied, "Umm...instead of breakfast, can I...can I have a sandwich?"

He nodded. "Okay...I don't see why not."

She turned to me. "What kind?"

I smiled, indulgently. "Hmm...how about...a..._Carly_ sandwich? Are they as awesome as I remember?"

The look in her eyes said it all.

And I turned her to face away from me, wrapped my arms around her from behind, and gently moved us both out into the hall, and toward Spencer.

Three weeks later, she got her period. Unbeknownst to her, I'd already resolved to keep a close eye on it. By day three I'd counted how many tampons were _still_ left in the box...for the third time...and was more than a little concerned. She didn't seem to be bleeding much at all...and knowing that it was due to the cyst, and the clotting...it had me extremely worried.

To make matters worse, I could tell that she also had cramps; although I was unsure how severe they were.

When I walked back into her bedroom, I found her looking out the window (I'm not sure at what), and I came up behind her, and gave her a hug. "Hey."

"Hey. What's up?"

"Carls...remember last month...when you said...how much you were looking forward to...us talking again...intimately?"

"Uh..."

"So...can we?"

"I...uh..." She tried to turn around, but I figured it would be easier for her if she didn't have to look at me, so I tightened my arms, and pressed my chest up against her back, and rested my chin on her shoulder.

"Carls...please?"

"But...I..."

"Come on... it's just the two of us. Carls, can I ask you something?"

"Uh..."

"Come on...please?"

"What?"

"Have you been...um...bleeding much?"

"Sam..."

"Carls...just tell me."

"But I don't want..."

"Carls...come on."

"No, I don't want to discuss..."

"Carls..._please_ don't make me have to...go through the bathroom wastebasket."

She pulled away from my embrace, and spun around to face me. "You _wouldn't_!"

"Hey, I'm definitely not crazy about the idea...but if that's the _only_ way to..."

"But...that's...that's..."

"I know...I know it is...so can you please spare me the ordeal? Let's try this again...how many tampons have you used...in the past two days?"

"A...few."

"Can you be more specific?"

"I don't know...I didn't count them!'

"Uh...well then...just tell me this...when you removed them...were they...uh...were they..._completely_..."

"Sam...I don't want to talk about it!"

"Carls...this is really important. Besides, you told me that we could always talk about anything. And that you'd always be completely open and honest with me...remember?"

"But..."

"Let's try again, okay? Were your tampons completely..."

"Stop asking me that...I don't want to discuss it!"

"But...Carls...you said that we could always..."

"Sam...just drop it!"

Uh-oh...getting defensive...not good. But, despite her reluctance, I wasn't going to give up so easily. "I'm just concerned about how _little_ you've been bleeding...I mean...the doctor was, too...remember? He...he said that..."

"Sam...I remember what he said. Perfectly."

"Look...have you forgotten the little chat we had last month? I haven't...and I vividly remember how eager _you_ were, back then, to discuss the intimate details of _my_ per..."

"Sam...I just don't wan..."

"iod...and I hope you don't think that I'm enjoying this conversation...because, I can assure you...it's no fun for me, either."

"Good, I'm glad we agree...so let's just change the sub..."

"Carls...how bad are your cramps?"

"Sam..."

"Carls...come on."

"I took some Advil...I'll be okay."

"But how bad are th..."

"Just drop it! Now! Okay?"

Oh...I know right now that this conversation is _not_ going to end well. Deep breath. "Look, Carls...I know I told you that I wasn't going to be pushy about this...but..."

And I immediately saw the look of fearful comprehension in her eyes. "Sam...please stop hounding me about that...I'm...going to...do it."

"When? When are you going to call and schedule the surg...sorry...the...uh...procedures?"

"I don't know...maybe in a week or two."

"But..."

"Sam...I will...honest...as soon as I'm ready."

I tried to cut her some slack and take her at her word...but then, 'two weeks' turned into two months...

...and she still hadn't called the doctor.

One afternoon I persuaded her to go out to Dairy King and bring back ice cream, and while she was gone, I cornered Spencer. "You're her brother...have you encouraged her to...get it over with?"

"I tried to bring it up...last week."

"And?"

"And she said that it's_ her _toenail...not mine, that she doesn't want to talk about it, and that she'll go when she's ready."

To my frustration, she continued to completely ignore the situation, and, by the third week in June, I decided that it was time to try again. "Carls?"

"Yes?"

"Look, I don't want to start another brawl between us..."

"Huh?"

"Have you...you know...decided when you're going to..."

"Sam...final exams are coming up."

"But..."

"No, Sam! I don't want to have to go to summer school."

"But...it's been more than two..."

"I know...but..."

"Carls...you really should..."

"Sam, stop pressuring me!"

"But...you..."

"Sam, stop it! Stop being so pushy! The more you hound me about it...the less I want to do it!"

I pulled back.

It's true that the end of school was near...although not near enough. Usually we'd get out by the last week in June, at the latest, but due to the number of snow days we'd had during the past winter, we had make-up classes, this year, until July seventeenth...

...and it absolutely sucked.

One Saturday afternoon, shortly before summer vacation began, I spent several frustrating hours wandering through Meridian Park, alone, trying to figure out my next move. By sunset, I finally stopped walking; my feet were killing me...but I had an answer...and, hopefully, an effective one.

Both physically and mentally exhausted, I fell onto a nearby bench and kicked off my sneakers...and sat watching the sun slide gradually down behind the jagged crest of the city's skyline, and opened my mind to whatever random thoughts wanted to invite themselves in.

Summer vacation was coming. I still hadn't collected on my kiss...and she hadn't offered...but I hadn't really been thinking about it, because of all the other things on my mind...mainly her unwillingness to schedule the surgery...or to even discuss it with me.

My strategy, I had decided, was to spend an entire week with her...engaged in non-stop fun...to give us both a chance to relax and unwind, and then, once we had both decompressed, and put some distance between ourselves and our school responsibilities, to gently bring up the subject again.

Finally D- (discussion) Day arrived. I usually hate getting up so early, but that morning, at 7:45 a.m., I was humming in the shower as I reviewed the day's agenda: Pie for breakfast, a visit to the aquarium, then lunch and a little shopping at the Seattle Waterfront, followed by a stroll on the beach, then dinner at Satowin's, her favorite seafood restaurant...and then...gulp...the horrible girly movie that I had refused to see with her last week: _Last Rose of Summer_.

No amount of begging or coercion on her part so far had convinced me to go, but, hey, I love the girl, so, after carefully weighing the pros and cons, I decided that tonight I could cringe my way through two hours of sappiness...without throwing up, and I smiled broadly, anticipating her surprise and delight when I pull her into the theater after dinner.

Anyway, I figured that after she'd indulged in a day of fun, a great meal, and an awful movie...maybe she'd be a little more receptive to being open with me.

I dried off, and then grabbed my terrycloth robe from the bathroom door hook, while trying to ignore my growling stomach. Hmm...maybe I should raid her fridge, before we hit the pie shop.

I walked back into the bedroom. "Done, Carls...your turn."

"Okay...in a minute." I saw her standing, across the room, in front of her lowboy dresser, looking closely at her face in the mirror. Smiling, I walked up next to her, and leaned forward, too; pressing my shoulder against hers, looking into the mirror, at the reflection of her face. "Watcha doin'?"

"Nothing."

"Oh, I get it, Carls, a staring contest...against yourself. So...who's winning?"

She shrugged, without looking at me.

I reached over and tried to take hold of her hands, but they remained flat against the top of the dresser. "Come on, Carls...I was only joking."

"I know."

"Then what are you doing...looking for zits? I've never seen one on you...so you're wasting your time."

"Yeah...I guess."

"You're so quiet...what's up?"

"It's...nothing."

"Come on...complete openness and honesty...remember?"

She didn't answer.

"Carls?"

"I...was just...thinking..."

"About what?"

"I...don't want to..."

"It's okay. Whatever's on your mind...just tell me."

She shook her head.

And then I remembered...

...how our report cards had arrived two days ago...and how quiet she'd been since then.

"Come on Carls...not again! Getting a B plus in French isn't the end of the world...you got all A's, otherwise."

"I...I know."

"Look, I realize that...up 'til now...it's been four years of perfect grades for 'Straight A Carly Shay'...

She nodded.

...so...I understand that it must bum you out to break that winning streak..."

"Y-yes."

"...but it's only _one_ B."

"...uh-huh."

"And...it's not like it's going to have a drastic, long-term, negative impact on your future."

She shook her head...

"Come on, Carls...a B plus...is _almost_ an A minus."

...and she bit her lower lip...

"Carls?"

...and I saw the tears welling up in her eyes...

This girl takes school _way_ too seriously.

...and she started to sob.

"Carls...no...don't...awww...come here."

I turned her away from the mirror, put my arms around her, and pulled her into a hug, as she lowered her forehead onto my shoulder and cried.

"Hey, it's only a stupid grade! There's no need for you to get so...so..."

...but then I looked down...

...and saw both her hands clutching her lower abdomen...

A/N: Want more? Let me know...

...at the link below.


	3. Chapter 3

…and she collapsed against me as her knees gave way, but I managed to catch her before she hit the floor. "Oh, God, Sam...oh, God...it hurts!"

I helped her over to the bed, and carefully lowered her onto it. She immediately curled into a ball, and lay, with her eyes closed, breathing shallowly.

"I'm taking you to the emergency room."

"No!"

"Yes, Carls...this is serious."

She reached up, and grabbed my shirt with both hands. "NO!"

"Look...I know that the place smells weird...and they only show that crappy science channel in the waiting room...but..."

"I'M NOT GOING!"

"Carls...you need medical attention...now."

"NO!"

"You've been putting this off...for months...way too long...and now it's a lot worse...

"NO! I'M NOT GOING!"

".._._and I refuse to allow you to put it off any longer..._and_ if you're going to continue to be stubborn...I'll have no choice but to tell Spencer...and if we have to force you to go, we will..."

"NO! I'M NOT! I'M NEVER GOING THERE!"

"Carls...why is it such a big..."

And then, I remembered...

...how she'd told me that her mom had gone there...

...and had never come back home.

"Oh, Carls...I'm sorry...I remember now...what you told me...about your..."

Just then, I heard Spencer's voice, on the other side of the closed bedroom door. "What's going on in there?"

"Nothing," I replied, in what I hoped was a sufficiently convincing tone.

"It definitely _wasn't _'nothing'. Are you two okay? What was all that yelling about?"

Carly, obviously in overwhelming pain, was biting the sleeve of my bathrobe, while looking up at me...her eyes pleading.

I put my hand on her cheek, and nodded. "It's okay, Spencer..." I called across the room, "...I...uh...thought I saw a mouse."

"Yeah, right, Sam..." he answered, "...like you'd ever be afraid of a mouse."

"Did I say mouse? I mean...I...thought it was...a...a rat."

"Still...I've never known you to be afraid of something as insignificant as a..."

"I would...if...if it was a _huge_ rat...the size of a Cocker Spaniel."

I heard him gasp. "Oh, God, Sam! I never realized that this building houses rodents of that magnitude! You two jump up onto the bed...to protect your feet...and I'll be right back with the Suck Duster!"

"No need, Spence...it was a...uh...false alarm."

"Huh? I don't under..."

"It...uh...turned out to...to be...one of Carly's big, fuzzy slippers!"

"What...are you sure?"

"Yeah...I'm positive."

He didn't seem entirely convinced. "Still...maybe I should come in...and look around..."

"Don't!" I yelled, "We're...uh...not dressed!"

"Well...okay...I'll be downstairs...if you guys need me."

We listened to the sound of his retreating footsteps, and then Carly grabbed onto my arm. "Please Sam...please not the E.R.! I'll do..._anything_!"

I bent down, and looked directly into her eyes. "Are you sure, Carls? Because this has gone on for entirely too lon..."

"Yes...I swear..." she whispered, tears spilling down her cheeks, "...please help me, Sam...it h-hurts!"

"Okay...okay...where's the number to the doctor's office...I'll see if I can get you in this morning."

Ten minutes later, I put the phone down, and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I couldn't get you an appointment with Anderson, but Dr. Bradley has a nine-forty-five opening. So..."

"Sam...will you be in there with me?"

"Of course."

"Because...I'm so..."

I leaned over, and put my arms around her. "There's no need to be...because we're finally going to get this taken care of."

I helped her get ready, and down to the taxi stand located just outside the apartment. Fortunately, Spencer was in his room at the time, and didn't see us leave, because she was limping on our way out the door.

And, forty-five minutes later, she was lying on the same exam table we'd both been on, all-too-recently; and we were meeting Dr. Franklin Bradley.

I didn't like him...at all. He was way too stern; instead of asking her to do things, he commanded her...

...while I bit my tongue...hard.

She cried the entire time.

After he finished giving her what was obviously an extremely painful examination, I straightened up from where she was lying, and began to rub my already-bruising upper arms.

"Sam..."

I bent back down, and stroked her hair. "It's over, Cupcake..." I whispered, "...now we can find out what to do to make it better."

I watched, with utmost contempt, as Dr. Dim-Wit stripped off his gloves, walked around to the side of the exam table opposite me, and looked down at her. "Why have you been putting off surgery for four months? Don't you realize the seriousness of your condition, and the potential consequences of your procrastination?"

"I'm...sorry," she sobbed.

He frowned at her. "Are you? Don't you realize what could have happened, if..."

"Hey, leave her alone!"

He lifted his gaze to mine. "Look, Miss..."

"Don't you 'look, Miss' _me_..." I snapped, "...can't you see that she's already _deeply_ regretting it?"

He shot me what I suppose was meant to be an intimidating glare, and answered, in an entirely-too-edgy voice. "I generally don't allow patients' friends to be present during examinations, but I've been lenient enough to make an exception here...so you need to drop the..."

"Who the hell are you? Don't you tell me that I can't..." I began; then, abruptly, I shut my mouth. My copping an attitude wasn't helping her.

And _nothing_ else mattered but that.

I looked down at Carly; then I yanked out my shirt-tail, and used it to dry her eyes. Afterward, we both turned back to Dr. Doofus.

He looked from his clipboard, back to her. "Well, by comparing what's on your chart to what I've just seen inside you, the cyst has grown, significantly, since your last visit; and the abscess beneath it seems to have deepened. Between that, and your excessive clotting, we have a very serious situation here. You do understand that this needs to be corrected...immediately?"

We both nodded.

"Good. I'm going to get you scheduled for surgery."

I felt her pulling my hand to her chest. "Sam...I'm so..."

I bent down. "Don't worry...we're going to get this taken care of. Right now."

Dr. Douche-Bag left for a moment, to speak to his receptionist, and I helped Carly sit up on the table.

She immediately leaned forward, with both her arms wrapped around her midsection. "Sam...I'm sorry...that I didn't..."

I pressed my finger to her lips. "Shh...what matters is that we're here now. This definitely can be fixed...completely...and we're both going to fix it...together...okay?"

She nodded, and I took a step forward, letting her rest her forehead against my chest.

Just then, Dr. Dumb-Ass came back into the room, closing the door behind him. "I'm in surgery tomorrow, and, according to my itinerary, there's still one open slot...and I can get you in."

She leaned back, away from him. "No! I want Dr. Anderson!"

"Dr. Anderson is in Milan for two weeks. He won't be in surgery again until Friday...and I'm just as qualified as..."

No!

Carls..." I began, "...that's three days away...I really think that you should let...

But Sam, I don't...I _don't_..."

"I'm sure it'll be fine."

"Please, Sam..._no_!"

"But...Carls..."

She grabbed the front of my shirt with both hands. "I'm willing to do this...I swear I am...but I'm so scared...can't you at least let me have..._please_?"

I nodded...and then I turned to Dr. Dick-Head. "Nothing personal, but Carly would be more comfortable with her regular doctor...so is it at all possible for us to wait three days?"

"No. I'm afraid it's not."

"Please...is there any way that she could..."

"No...there isn't. I don't think that you're fully aware of the seriousness of her condition."

And then, in that moment, I realized how profoundly I love Carly Shay...

...because of what I said next.

"Look, Dr. Bradley, I owe you a sincere apology...for my attitude. I'm very sorry. I had absolutely no right to speak to you the way I did...and I assure you that I _never_ will again, not under _any_ circumstances. I only did it because I care about her, deeply, and want what's best for her, and...and...can I speak to you privately for a moment?"

The two of us stepped outside. "Her mother died of ovarian cancer, and she's very sensitive about it..." I began...

...and, after five minutes of seriously-focused, incredibly-self-degrading, cringe-worthy, ass-kissing on my part, he led me back into the examination room.

Walking back to where Carly sat, hunched over, on the table, he began, "As I was saying, I strongly advise against waiting for surgery...

I saw the terror in her eyes.

"...but I'm willing to give my consent, and allow you to wait...just until Friday...if you promise to do everything you're told."

"I...will."

"That means complete bed rest for you; because we don't want that thing to rupture."

I turned to him. "Do you think it will?"

"It's definitely a risk. I can give her something for the pain in the meantime."

After he handed over a long list of dos and don'ts...plus some pain meds...she got dressed, and we went to talk to the receptionist; who advised us to check Carly in at the Seattle Surgery Center, at nine a.m., on Friday.

As soon as we got home, I sent her straight to bed, and brought her a bowl of chicken soup.

"How are you feeling?"

"Much better...it hardly hurts at all now."

"What a relief. And...are the meds...screwing with your head?"

"No, not at all."

"That's good to hear...because, sometimes, strong painkillers can do that."

"Sam?"

"Yes?"

"The drugs...really have...helped...a lot...so...so...uh..."

"Carls...I know what you're thinking right now...and don't even _dream_ it!"

"But, Sam...Dr. Anderson mentioned that it's possible to treat it with medication."

"NO! What he said is that 'it's _not _a good idea to _attempt_ to...'"

"Sam...I'd...much rather..."

"No, Carls...God only knows what will happen if that thing ruptures...and the infection spreads!"

"But...I'm feeling a lot better."

"We both know that it's only going to get worse."

"I...don't want to..."

"Carls, you are _not_ backing out of this!"

"But...I can't go through with...with...any of it!"

"You're going to."

"No."

"Carls..."

"No. I'm sorry, Sam...but I..."

And, as necessary as it was, I hated what I had to say to her next. "Carls...remember what happened to your mom."

And, moments later, she was crying in my arms. "Please...help me!"

"I will...and you have to."

"I know I do...but I'm so..._so..._"

"Carls...you have a family history of...uh...'plumbing problems'...and, if you continue to ignore yours...something horrible could..."

And she started to bawl. "No! I don't want that to happen to me! Please!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes...don't let anything bad hap...please! I promise...I'll do anything!"

"Then...you'll let Dr. Anderson...remove your cyst?"

"Y-yes...I promise!"

"And you'll let him...remove your clotting?"

"Yes! This Friday...I promise! Promise me you won't leave me!"

"What? I never said that I would!"

She tightened her arms around me. "Sam!"

And I pulled her close. "I'm right here!"

"Sam."

"I'm right here."

"Sam..."

"I'm right here..."

That evening, I brought over a duffel bag full of clothes.

During the next three days, I did my best to keep her rested, fed, clean, and entertained, and, overall, I think I did a pretty good job taking care of her.

The night before her surgery, she asked, "Can I take a shower?"

"Yes...will you let me help you?"

"Please...don't..."

"Carls...I've seen you naked before."

"It's not that."

"And I promise that I won't try to touch or wash any part of you...unless you specifically request it."

"Sam...it's not that...I promise."

"But..."

"I promise it's not that! I still feel bad about what happened...when I..."

"Carls, don't...it's not necessary. I understand. It's okay."

"No it's not...you think I'm pushing you away again...I'm not!" She reached over, and took my hands, and put them on her breasts, over her T-shirt. "Go ahead."

I shook my head.

Her hands still covering mine, she began to move them over her chest. "S-see...I'm...I'm not..."

I gently pulled my hands away. "Carls...it's okay...I believe you. I just don't understand why you won't let me help you in the shower...especially after the doctor told you not to exert yourself in any way."

"It's...it's just..."

"What?"

"I've been stuck in this bed for three days...and I'm going to be in a hospital bed for several more days...and then I'm going to be stuck in here again...for God knows how long."

I nodded.

"I _hate_ being an invalid...I just want to do something for myself right now... before I have to..."

"Okay...I understand. Just be careful in there."

She pushed the covers off, and sat up. "I will."

I must have dozed off, because I opened my eyes again to her in bed, next to me; in her pajamas, with damp hair, leaning over me.

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"If...if I...don't come home..."

"Carls, don't you dare even_ think_ of trying to have this conversation with me."

"But...it's...a possibility."

"No, it's not."

"But..."

"It's not! Now turn off the lamp, and close your eyes...please."

"Uh...Sam?"

"Yes?"

"Can I talk to you about...something else?"

"Carls...it's getting late."

"Please...this is really, really important."

I gave in. "Sure...about what?"

"About...about New Year's Eve."

I closed my eyes. (Please, God...please don't let her put me through this again!) Not looking at her I said, "You told me that you weren't going to...bring it up anymore."

"I know, but..."

"But...?"

"But I...I have to."

I began to beg silently. (Please, Carls...don't...I _can't _hear it again...please...)

"Sam...I really wasn't expecting you...to behave...that way..."

I felt the knife begin twisting, again, in the left side of my chest...deeply...relentlessly...

"...but...I'm sorry...that...that I freaked out."

I deliberately avoided her eyes. "It's okay."

"No...it's not...I shouldn't have...yelled at you like that."

"I'm over it," I lied.

"Still...I shouldn't have been so mean to you when...you know..."

(No...no...please, Carls..._please_...no!)

"...when...when you...kissed me...so passionately."

(Fuck! Fucking hell, Carls! I'm begging you...don't say it again!)

I tried to empty my mind, desperately hoping to make it numb, but my thoughts and memories immediately kicked into high gear, as every single painful detail began to replay for me...again...a struggling, tortured, captive audience of one; as I sat, silently, listening helplessly to the playback of my own mind, and her, as both began to recount, in excruciating detail, the entire hellish nightmare.

"Sam, I realize that I hurt you...badly... that night, when I..."

(I know...when you shoved me away...)

"...you know...when I shoved you away..."

(...and when you screamed that it was horrible of me to do it...)

"...and when I screamed that it was horrible of you to do it..."

(...and how you said...that you didn't know if you wanted to be a part of my life anymore...)

"...and how I said...that I didn't know if I wanted to be a part of your life anymore..."

(...and how you didn't talk to me for an entire week after it happened...)

"...and how I didn't talk to you for an entire week after it happened..."

(...and...when you finally did, how you said you only thought of me as a friend...)

"...and...when I finally did, how I said I only thought of you as a friend..."

(...and that, if I _ever_ try anything like that again...I'll lose what we _do_ have...)

"...and that, if you _ever_ try anything like that again...you'll lose what we _do_ have..."

(...because you'll walk out of my life...forever...)

"...because I'll walk out of your life...forever..."

(...and for me _never_ to expect anything more...)

"...and for you_ never_ to expect anything more..."

(...because you'll never change your mind...)

"...because I'll never change my mind..."

(...and how hard you cried, after you'd said it...)

"Sam...I'm so sorry that I lied to you!"

(...and how hard you cried, after you'd said it...)

"I mean it! I'm so sorry that I lied to you!"

(...and how hard you cried, after you'd said...

...after you'd said...

...after...you'd...

...oh, my God.)

Her lower lip was trembling. "Sam...I do love you...that way."

"But...I-I..."

"...in _every_ way. And it was my fault...all of it."

"What...was, Carls?"

"Remember...when you came over?"

How could I ever forget? I had missed her party, because the bus was stuck in traffic, and the driver had refused to let people off in the middle of the street. When I finally did get here, it was nearly one a.m., and she was already in bed; and she had asked me to spend the night, because it was so late. And I remember...vividly...when I was lying next to her...the way she had looked at me...and then, how she'd held out her arms...and the way she had whispered, 'Sam'...and...and...

I nodded.

"Sam, I knew, even though it was after midnight, that you'd still want a New Year's kiss."

"Yes."

"And, when we were lying here...and I saw how you were looking at me...I could tell what you wanted...and_ how..._even though we'd never kissed that way before..."

"Carls."

"...and I wanted you to kiss me...that way...so badly...and that's why I...I h-held out my arms, and pulled you so close to me...and...didn't try to stop you...at first..."

"Carls..."

"...and...why I...kind of...kissed you back...

"Carls..."

"and why I...why I...opened my mouth...

"Look, Carls...

"...but then, when we rolled over, and you were lying on top of me, I felt myself beginning to get...

...to get really...really...uh...and...I...I was..so scared, Sam!"

She turned on her side, facing me...but her eyes were closed. "The way I felt was so incredibly...overwhelmingly...oh, God!...and I wanted it...and I wanted you..._so badly_...but it went against everything I've ever been taught...about how I'm 'supposed' to feel about girls...and it scared me...more than anything else ever has!"

I felt her grabbing my hand, and putting it against her chest, between her breasts. "I...I'll never forgive myself for the selfish way I tried to justify lying to myself by blaming you for something we both really wanted...and then...how I almost pushed you out of my life...forever! I'm so sorry!"

"I...I...Carls...but..."

"Sam...the whole week that I blew you off...I cried almost the whole time...because I love and missed you so much...and I was so afraid...that...I had lost you!"

"Carls..."

"I knew I owed you an apology...and I swear I wanted to tell you...everything...but I was scared...scared that what I'd done was unforgivable...scared that you'd hate me...and scared that I'd have to face what telling you my feelings for you meant...so_..._instead of saying what I _should_ have...I _hurt _you..._again!_ I'm so very sorry, Sam...you have _no idea_ how much I love you...and always have!"

I removed my hand from hers, and sat up, head in hands, trying unsuccessfully, to process it all.

"Sam?"

"I'm...okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Hey?"

I turned to face her. "Yes?"

"Are you mad at me? For lying to you?"

"No, Carls...I'm not."

"For...for loving you?"

"How could I possibly be mad about that?"

"Because...because...I've waited too long to tell you."

"What?"

"It's probably too late now...but I had to tell you." She looked into my eyes, through her own tear-filled ones and said softly, "I don't want to die with you not knowing."

Oh, God. "You are_ not_ going to die...how can you even think that?"

"You heard the doctor...they don't know the full extent of what's inside me. What if anything's ma-malig..." She couldn't finish.

"Carls...you're_ not_ going to die!"

"How do you know?"

"Because...I...I refuse to let you."

"What? That's the most convoluted reasoning I've ever heard!"

"Have you forgotten? You owe me a kiss...and I intend to collect...I FORBID you to kick the bucket until you pay up!"

"I-I can kiss you now, Sam."

"No way...I'm collecting _after_ the surgery...and I charge interest...forty percent."

"Forty percent? Th-that's illegal!"

"That's me!"

I wasn't expecting the pillow that whacked me on top of my head. "You're...such a scofflaw!"

I immediately Carly-proofed the pillow by lying back on top of it. "Always have been...always will be."

"About everything?"

"Yes...I even like to think of the Ten Commandments as the Ten Suggestions."

She laughed. "Please let me kiss you."

"No."

"Sam...please!"

"Yes...you can..."

She smiled.

"..after you're well...

Her face fell.

"...and then I intend to collect. In full."

"And...if I refuse?"

"Well then, Ms. Shay...I have my Uncle Carmine's number...on speed dial!"

"Please, Sam...let me kiss you."

"Shh...I want you rested for tomorrow." I moved her head down onto my chest, and she reached down and pulled the covers up to my chin...

...and over her head.

Moments after she disappeared, I realized that my T-shirt being pushed up...way up...and that her hands were pinning my upper arms...and then...I felt her soft kisses...not sure how many...I lost count after fifteen...being planted all over my chest.

Suddenly, her head emerged from beneath the covers. "Sam...did you see any of those?"

"No."

"Then they don't count."

I shot her a look...

...and she disappeared under the covers again.

"Carls?"

"Yes?" Her voice was muffled.

"While you're down there..."

"Sam!"

"...would you mind...pulling my shirt back down?"

"Oh."

"..._and_ dragging your mind up out of the gutter?"

She came up for air. "Sam?"

"Yes?"

"I-I want to be with you."

"Carls...I..."

"Tonight."

"Instead of thinking about 'getting off', why don't you focus on 'getting well'?"

"Please, Sam...please make love to me tonight."

"But..."

"I don't want to die a virgin!"

Oh no...not again. "You're_ not_ going to die!"

"Sam...please be with me!"

"I can't...not now..."

"It...breaks my heart to remember...how...you_ used to love me_...so much!"

"Carls, I..."

"Sam, why don't you love me?" And, suddenly, her hands were over her eyes. "I know...it's because of everything I've put you through...please though...just pretend that you still do! Just this once!"

"I...I..."

"I swear...I'll never ask you for anything else."

"Dr. Bradley told you absolutely no sex before surgery."

"He...won't know."

I shook my head. "You're getting all whipped up...and right now you need to rest."

"You...don't love me..why?"

"I do."

"Then why won't you even kiss me...just once?"

"I already told you..."

She started to cry. "You don't love me anymore!"

I rolled her onto her back, and leaned over her, with my face close to hers. "Now, pay attention, Carly Shay...because I'm only going to say this one hundred thousand times times...I do love you!"

She was crying...hard. "Then...please be with me..._please_!"

"Carls...why is this so..."

...and then...

...from out of nowhere...

...it hit me.

I'd been puzzling over it for a long time...ever since she first told me, four months ago...but, now...suddenly...it made complete sense. "Carls, look at me."

She did.

"Carls...it...hurts when you orgasm...doesn't it?"

"Sam...I...I..."

"_That's_ why you've only ever whacked off a few times...isn't it?"

"Sam...don't ask me th..."

"And _that's _why you haven't done it for such a long time..."

"Sam...please don't!"

"...even though you really want to...and you really need to."

"Sam, stop it!"

"Am I right?"

"Sam, please don't ask me th..."

I wasn't trying to be mean...but I needed the truth. "Carls...I want you to look at me...and I want you to tell me."

"I can't!"

"Carls...look at me...it hurts when you orgasm...doesn't it?"

She started sobbing again, as she raised her eyes to meet mine. "Y-yes, it does...it has...for a long time...but what if...what if I...don't care?"

"The doctor said that we definitely don't want your cyst to rupture."

"I-I still don't care."

"Well, Carls...I do. I'm not going to let you hurt yourself."

"But...you just said that I really need to...and I do!"

"Not until you're better. Not until..._that thing..._is out of you."

"Sam, Please!"

"No, Carls..."

"Please!"

"...no matter how hard you beg me."

"Sam, then please let me...you know...'do you'."

"No."

"Well...at least let me kiss you goodnight."

"No."

"Sam, you're punishing me for what I did to you...I swear, I'm so sorry! I will never, ever do anything like that to you...ever again!"

"Carls...I _swear_ I'm not pun..."

"Sam..."

"I'm not...I swear...okay?"

But...

I swear...okay?

"Then...when...can I...kiss you?"

I pushed her hair off her face. "As soon as you're back home from the hospital... and in this bed...and feeling up to it...I promise you that we will."

"Sam...I love you...and I'm so sorry..."

"You're so sorry that you love me?"

"Ha-ha!" Then I felt her hand on my cheek. "Can...can we please try again...to be open and honest...and to not...keep secrets from each other anymore?"

"Okay...but if there's anything you're still withholding...you have to tell me...right now."

"I swear there's not...please believe me."

"I do, Carls."

"What about you?"

"Uh...I...I _did_ push Leann Carter down those stairs."

"No surprise there. Anything else?"

"No...I promise. You, Carls?"

"No...I promise. Sam...I still wish you'd let me kiss you."

"Then focus on that...it's something to look forward to.

"Sam...I love you."

"I love you back...now turn over."

And I switched off the light, and curled up behind her, as she reached back, and pulled my arm around herself.

She slept.

I didn't.

At the hospital the next morning, after signing in, we were shown to a changing room. Trembling, she started to unbutton her shirt, but I put my hands on top of hers.

"Carls...will you let me undress you?"

"D-do you want to?"

"Yes...very much," I whispered. "Please?"

She put her head on my shoulder. "Yes."

I slowly, completely undressed her, and, before I put the gown on her, I pulled her to me, and for the first time, held her, naked, in my arms. "You're so beautiful..."

"Oh...Sam!"

"...and...once you're feeling better...if you still want...to be...with...

She didn't answer; but her arms tightened around me.

"...with me...we can talk about it...okay?"

"Y-yes."

I finished getting her ready, then helped her get under the covers, and sat, holding her hand.

"Sam...I still want to kiss you."

"I know...so do I...and we will...after I bring you home."

And then, looking up, we saw the orderly at the door...

...and I saw the fear in her eyes. "Sam..."

"Yes, Cupcake...but it's going to be okay...and I'll be here when you wake up."

I knew that he was waiting to wheel her down to the operating room, so I turned to him and asked, "Can you give us a minute?"

He nodded, and closed the door.

"Carls...I have a surprise for you later."

"What?"

I just smiled, mysteriously.

"Come on, Sam...you know I can't stand being in the dark...what is it?"

"I don't...know if I should..."

"Come on..._tell me_!"

"Well...okay. While you were in the shower this morning, I was online..."

"Yeah?"

"...and I asked for the package to be express mailed...it should be here by Tuesday."

"What package?"

"The one...from Bolivia."

Her eyes lit up.

I leaned down close to her ear. "So...for the next few minutes...just think about bacon...and kisses..."

A/N: Wanna find out what happens next?

Just let me know...


	4. Chapter 4

Sam:

The backhand that smacked into my left cheek was limp; but it still collided with sufficient force to wake me up. Unsteadily I raised my face from the chlorine-scented sheet that was covering the hospital bed's mattress; and leaned back, stiffly, into the brutally-hard, wooden chair that I was sitting on.

And then...I smiled.

Carly was finally waking up.

After another minute or two of random flailing, she opened her eyes. "Marieqslyvh blezkertomv?"

Was that English?

I got out of my chair, leaned over the bed, and looked down at her. "Carls?"

It took a few seconds for her eyes to focus, but then she recognized me, and laid her hand, clumsily, against my cheek. "Dr. Anderson...when did you become so...breathtakingly beautiful?"

I reached up...

...and took hold of her wrist...

...and then...

...I frowned at her. "Damn...there's _still_ a pulse! Now I owe Big Bertha the Bookie $300...and that's the_ last_ time I take a hot, insider gambling tip from _you_!"

She laughed, and then gasped, lurching up off her pillow. "Ow-oh!"

"Oh, God...I'm sorry, Cupcake...does it hurt?"

"Only...when I'm conscious."

"So...you're still among us, then?"

She held out her arms.

I hugged her, being very careful not to press against her stomach, and then I whispered into her ear, "Well, you actually made it...are you surprised?"

She smiled, guiltily, and shrugged.

I reached down and took her hand between both of my own. "Look, I'm hanging out with you for awhile. I brought clothes..."

But then, I saw the fear in her eyes. "Sam...I..."

"Don't worry, Carls...I know. I _know_ how much you_ hate_ the hospital...so I'm gonna spring you outta here...as soon as I possibly can."

"Thank you."

"So...how are you feeling?"

"Really, really tired."

I let go of her hand, and stretched...because...

...oh, man...that crappy chair is killing my back _and_ my butt! "Well...if that's the case...then why don't you take a nap?"

"Okay, Sam, I...probably should."

"But...before you go back to sleep...can I get you anything?"

She looked thoughtful for a moment. "Yes, actually. There's something I really need."

"Name it, Carls...and it's yours."

"Right now...I desperately need...some blonde hair to play with."

And I pulled my chair up toward the head of the bed, sat back down, and rested my face against the mattress once again.

"Sam?"

"NOTASLEEPWHATDOYOUNEED!" I yelled, as my eyes flew open, and I sprang straight up off the chair, and onto my feet.

"I'm sorry to wake you up."

"Don't be...that's why I'm here."

"Would you please...bring me some iced tea or soda?"

"Yeah, sure...there's a vending machine right down the hall...be right back." I checked my pockets, to make sure I had change; and then started to limp, painfully, toward the door...

...oh, God...my poor, tortured, aching ass!

I brought back a can of tea, and then watched, alarmed, as she chugged it down. "Easy there, Kid...anesthesia can make you nauseous...and barfing is _not_ a spectator sport."

"I'm okay."

There was a splash of tea on her chin, so I wiped it off with my sleeve. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Carls...do you have to...uh...go to the bathroom...because the doctor told me it's okay for you to get out of bed for that...as long as you use the wheelchair...and someone helps you in and out of it."

"No, I'm okay for now. I guess I'm still kind of dehydrated, from not being allowed to drink anything since last night."

She handed me her empty iced tea can, which I crushed...immediately and effortlessly...against my forehead...making her smile. I expertly jump-shot the crumpled remains into the wastebasket on the other side of the room; and then I turned back to her. "So...how are you feeling now?"

"Still really tired...and kind of numb."

I sat back down on 'the chair from hell', wishing that _my butt _was numb. "Why don't you take another nap...I'll be right here with you...okay?"

"Yes...I'll try," she sighed.

I closed my eyes; and vaguely remember feeling her hand slide, palm-up, between my cheek and the mattress.

"Sam?"

"NOTASLEEPWHATDOYOUNEED!"

"I know you've...only...been asleep for an hour. I'm sorry."

"There's no need to be. What can I do ya for?"

"I...uh...have to...uh...pee."

I brought the wheelchair over to the bed, pulled the covers off her, and held out my arms. "We're going to go really slow, okay?"

She nodded.

I carefully helped her into the chair, and then wheeled her into the bathroom, closing the door behind us. After putting on the brakes, I slid my hands under her. "Now, put your arms around my neck."

She did, and I helped her stand up. I could tell she was hurting, but was desperately trying to hide it; probably because she didn't want to face the ordeal of using a bedpan.

Once she was on her feet, I looked, and reached, down. "Now...just hold onto me while I..."

"Sam, No!"

"What's wrong?"

"No! Don't Look!"

"But..."

I tried to lift up her hospital gown, but she immediately pulled it out of my hand. "Don't!"

"Carls...I have to."

"No! I don't want you to look!"

"Carls...when I was talking to the doctor, this afternoon...he...uh...asked me to."

"What?"

"I told him that I'll be taking care of you...and...he told me to."

She looked horrified. "No!"

"Yes, Carls. He wants me to look. Every time. Just to...make sure nothing...is..."

And then she started to sob. "Oh, God, Sam...no...please..."

"Hey...don't cry. There's nothing to be embar..."

"Please don't! Please!"

"Shh...listen to me. Why don't we _both_ do _exactly_ what he tells us to...and then we can get the hell out of here ASAP...okay?"

"But..."

"Please, Carls?"

After a very long moment, she relented. "Y-yes...okay."

And she let me pull down her underwear...

...and sit her down...

...and look.

Dr. Anderson had told me what to expect, but the reality was still shocking. I flinched when I saw it, but, fortunately, she didn't notice, because she was staring at it, too. "Oh, God...I'm...such a mess!"

"It's...it's not nearly as bad as I expected," I lied.

She stared at me in stunned disbelief. "How can you say that? I'm...I'm...absolutely..."

"Shh...it's okay...don't worry...so...go ahead and pee...and then...I'll...help you get cleaned up."

She did...and I did...and, afterward, I wheeled her out of the bathroom, and lifted her back into bed.

Once under the covers again, she shifted, uneasily. "I hate this...I've never been able to sleep on my back!"

Oh, man...how to fix? "I'm sorry, but you have to...at least for a while. Hey...would you like me to put a pillow under your knees?"

"Yes...okay."

I did. "Is that any better?"

She shrugged. "A little."

"How do you feel now?"

"Still really beat."

"Then why don't you try to go back to sleep...I'm right here," I suggested, as I reluctantly sank back down onto _The Chair_...and onto my battered butt.

"I'm...so glad, Sam."

"So am I...now close your eyes."

She did.

And I took her hand, and closed my eyes...

"Sam?"

"NOTASLEEPWHATDOYOUNEED!"

"Uh...Dr. Anderson is here."

I'd whipped my head up with so much force that my already-complaining spinal column now screamed in protest; and, as I reached back, attempting to rub it, I saw him smile at me.

"Hi, Sam...no...there's no need for you to get up."

He turned to Carly. "Let's start with some good news...the lab results are back. That was one very nasty cyst you had, but fortunately, both it, and the surrounding area's tissue samples that we tested, were completely benign."

And I pushed my face _deeply_ into the mattress...

...and felt her hand caress my shaking shoulders, and then tangle in my hair, as I wiped my eyes on her sheet.

After I (finally) sat back up, I saw him put something into Carly's hand; and then he gave her a glass of water. "I was just talking to Elroy the Drug Boy, back in the alley; and he asked me to deliver these."

She swallowed the pills.

He took one last look at her chart, and then turned back to us. " So, here's the current situation. In addition to a rather impressive amount of pus, your cyst contained a solid mass...or root, which had spread laterally...and was almost twice the size we had previously suspected...which means that the abscess surrounding it was also double the expected size. We removed everything, and cleaned the site, and you ended up with twenty-four stitches.

"As far as your clotting is concerned, for the most part, it _appears _to be a build-up of previous periods that accumulated but couldn't exit the uterus, due to the cyst almost completely blocking the opening to your cervix...rather than from any abnormal growth."

She nodded.

"So, even though there's quite a substantial amount present, I decided that, rather than remove it via D&C, we would give it a chance to shed on its own, which, fortunately, has already begun to occur. Are you bleeding a lot, right now?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yes."

He smiled. "Excellent."

(The face she made is indescribable...so I won't even try.)

I think he pretended not to notice. "You can probably expect profuse bleeding for the first week, which is good, since your system needs to clean itself out...and, in addition, since your next period is due in a few days, you soon can expect an even heavier flow...

She put her hands over her face, and mumbled, "Great! Just what I need!"

"...after that, we'll evaluate the situation again, and if everything looks, for the most part, clear, then that's one less thing that we'll have to treat."

She removed her hands from her face...and leaned back against her pillow with a sigh, looking incredibly relieved.

"So, overall, how are you feeling at the moment?" he inquired.

"Ripped up...and drippy."

"Well, let's have a look."

An orderly had come in, and was screwing stirrups onto the bottom end of the bed, as Dr. Anderson pulled on gloves. "Carly...this isn't going to be pleasant...but it has to be done. I promise that I'll do everything possible to avoid causing you any additional distress."

She looked scared, but she nodded.

Once he had removed her underwear and helped her slide down to the end of the bed, I leaned over, and let her wrap her arms around my back, as Dr. Anderson inserted the speculum, which, fortunately, didn't seem to be too painful for her.

"Carly I'm going to open it now...are you ready?"

"Yes...I..._oh, God, it hurts_!"

"I'm, sorry...I'll finish as quickly as I can."

She spent an extremely rough ten minutes while he got her dilated and examined her; but finally, he pulled everything out, and made a few notes on her chart. "Well...everything is still intact; and, even though the wound _is _draining, the infection in the area appears to have begun to clear up. If you look just as good tomorrow afternoon, you can go home."

I took a deep breath, and turned to face him. "Dr. Anderson...can I...stay with her tonight?"

He immediately frowned. "Unfortunately... that's against hospital policy."

My face fell.

Then he smiled. "But what Upper Management doesn't know won't hurt them. No wild parties...promise?"

"Of course...not!"

"Hmm...why am I not surprised? All right, Sam...on your feet."

Confused, I got up...groaning loudly. "Oh...kay...now what?"

"Now come over here...and give me a hand."

The other bed in the room was unoccupied, and, after we moved two nightstands, he helped me push it up against hers. I kicked off my sneakers and hopped up, and then, with one hand behind my back (trying to massage the agony out of my afflicted butt), I looked, gratefully, over at him.

"There...that's better than the chair, isn't it?" Then, without another word, he left.

I felt Carly's hand on my arm. "I'm...so glad you're staying with me."

I rolled over to face her. "How could I not...after promising that I was gonna take really good care of you? Which reminds me...is there anything I can do for you...right now?"

She was playing with my hand. "Can I...please have the remote? _Without_ a fistfight...for a change?"

"Hmm...okay...but only just this once! So...you wanna watch TV for a while?"

"Yes...there's not much else to do."

I gave her the remote...and then I stared at the screen, in horror, as she started flipping. "Oh, my God, Cupcake! Only basic cable...with only _six _channels? How much does that suck?"

She looked just as disappointed. "Yes...it's going to be a long night...oh, look...here's a nature program."

"Lame!"

"But, Sam...there's nothing else on right now...except for the news."

"Carls...I don't wanna watch some jank birds while they...wait...what are they...are they actually...oh my God, yes! Pigeon Porn!"

"Sam?"

"NOTASLEEPWHATDOYOUNEED!"

One sniff immediately answered my question, and I looked over, queasily, at the revolting contents of the tray in front of her. "What's _that_ crap...it looks like Picasso threw up!"

She seemed just as grossed out as I was. "I'm really sorry to wake you up...again...after only forty-five minutes...but...could you please bring me some edible food?"

"Sure...right after I find a shovel...and bury that swill."

She looked at me, aghast. "Don't you dare...do you want the EPA on our backs?"

I shrugged. "Okay...then maybe we'll just flush..."

"What?...and piss off Greenpeace?"

I laughed. "Pizza?"

"Sure."

I whipped out my phone with a flourish. "Pepperoni?"

"Definitely!"

Once it was delivered, I fed her, and was glad that she ate three pieces...which meant she still had an appetite.

Afterward, I lifted her out of bed, and wheeled her back into the bathroom. She now seemed resigned to letting me help her, because she didn't fight me; but she did blush as I looked inside her underwear. "Sam...I..."

"Shh...it's okay...really."

She looked down. "Oh, my God...what are those...those..."

"Don't worry, Carls...it's just...some clotting."

"But there's...oh, God...there's _so much_!"

"The doctor says this...is...completely normal."

"Sam...it's hor..."

"Shh...your system is doing exactly what it's supposed to."

"But..."

"Hey, Cupcake...better out than in...right?"

"But..."

"Much better."

"But..."

"Admit it."

"But..."

"Carls...am I wrong?"

Her arm was a blur as she yanked the (humungous) clean pad I was holding out of my hand, and smacked me over the head with it.

I got her cleaned up, and then I helped her into bed again, and put the pillow back under her knees; but I could see that she was incredibly frustrated...

...and miserable...

...and, even though she would never admit it...

...really scared.

"God, I hate being here...I hate everything about this place! I wish I didn't have to stay!"

I stopped boomeranging our discarded pizza crusts across the room, toward the wastebasket...and turned to face her. "Carls...remember what the doctor said...you might be able to go home tomorrow...so you'll only be here for one night."

"That's still one night too long!"

"Hey...I'll be here with you..."

"I...know."

"So...how are you feeling?"

"I'm still really tired."

"Not to worry...with me taking care of you...we'll fix that in no time."

"How?"

"Well, for starters, I'm going to have you on a high protein, high carb diet."

She gasped. "Sam...do you...actually mean...?"

"Yes, Carls...fried chicken and Fat Cakes!"

She yawned. "Then what?"

"Later. Right now, it's time for you to go to sleep."

"Sam?"

"Yes?"

"Come here."

I walked to the head of the bed.

She reached up, opened the top two buttons of my shirt, and pulled me down over her, and then I felt her nuzzle against my bare chest, and whisper, "Just a reminder...I love you."

And I slid my hands under her shoulders and carefully held her against me. "What a coincidence..."

And then, she was looking up at me. "Sam...would you...like to...uh..."

And I was looking down at her. "Yes..I would...

"...after we get home...

"...and you're feeling better."

She stuck out her lower lip, but I pretended not to notice as I got into the bed next to hers, pulled up the covers, and closed my eyes.

XXXXX

"...and here are your prescriptions...for both the pain-relievers and the antibiotics...take two of each in the mornings, and every evening...showers, not baths...nothing in the vagina for six weeks...and no walking for the first two weeks...use the wheelchair-no exceptions...and, if your pain worsens...you need to call my office immed..."

Carly closed her eyes, and began to fake-snore...loudly.

Dr. Anderson was not amused. "Do you have any questions?"

"No."

"Well then, congratulations...you're officially on parole. We probably can remove your stitches after two weeks; so, if you don't have any complications in the meantime; I'll see you then."

By seven p.m., I had dressed her, packed up all our stuff, and finally checked her out...

...and then, as I was wheeling her toward the hospital's exit, I saw two interns, both clutching fire extinguishers, sprinting up the hall at break-neck speed; while the nurse at the Admitting desk yelled, "Hurry! Room 138...in the shower stall...it appears to be...A Wooden Chair!"

I brought Carly home in a taxi.

Spencer had made lasagna, so I took two plates of it upstairs; and she and I had a late dinner in bed...with me helping her (easier said than done...it's messy stuff to eat...even when you're in a seated position). She was still feeling exhausted; so, one hour, one nightshirt-change, and two pees (one mine, one hers) later, we both were asleep, with her hand on my stomach, under my shirt.

XXXXX

"Sam?"

"NOTASLEEPWHATDOYOUNEED!"

"I'm really sorry...I know it's only seven a.m..."

"That's okay...I've always wondered what a sunrise looks like."

"Oh, Sam!" She smiled, reached over, and enthusiastically messed up my hair.

"Hey! How dare you wreck my 'bed head'? I just spent eight hours cultivating that look!"

Her eyebrows shot up. "Cultivating? There's a word I never thought I'd hear come out of_ your_ mouth!"

"Well...Carls...you know where I picked it up...remember yesterday...when we were forced to sit through that stupid documentary on wheat grass production in the Midwest...the show that was on right after '_The History of String_', and right before '_Crab Lice: Pubic Enemy Number One_'? Hospital TV sucks!"

She looked at me with her most serious expression. "Don't worry, Sam...I'm sure that...after several years of intensive, and hideously expensive, therapy...you'll finally be able to overcome the trauma of an entire day spent watching retina-scarring, soul-crushing programs."

"We're getting off the subject here, Carls. What can I do for my favorite slacker?"

"Hey! That's_ My_ nickname for _You_!"

"And...now that you're laid up...I grudgingly relinquish the title."

"Oh, no! More multi-syllable vocabulary words! My God, Sam...what have they done to you?" she gasped.

I shrugged...

...and then yelped...

...as her fingers launched a surprise attack under my ribcage. "Shay!"

"Gotcha!"

With effort, I managed to trap her hands between my own. "Seriously, what can I do for you? Do you have to go to the bathroom?"

"Yes, Sam...and then..."

"And then...what?"

"Well...it's been almost three days...so...will you help me take a shower?"

"I don't know Carls...do you feel up to it?"

"I guess."

"Are you sure? I don't want you to over-exert yourself."

"But...I feel so...scuzzy!"

"I realize that...but I'm just...concerned..."

"Sam, you're absolutely right. Maybe I should skip showering...for next six weeks...until I can take one by myself."

And I was on my feet. "One incredibly long, hot shower...coming right up!"

The day before Carly went to the hospital, Spencer gave me money...so I could get some 'post-surgery supplies' for her...and one thing that I had found, unexpectedly, while I was at the pharmacy, was a sturdy, plastic shower bench...and I'd bought it.

After I wheeled her into the bathroom, and we both 'took a leak', I undressed her, and then helped her get into the tub, and onto the bench. I kicked off my sneakers and, after adjusting the shower head to spray onto her upper back, I sat down on the edge of the tub, with my feet inside it; and, leaning over, I started to wash her, beginning with her hair.

From the expression on her face I could tell how much she was enjoying both the feel of the shower spray, and (finally) getting clean, so I indulged her; and slowed down..way down...and took my time. Her eyes were closed...and she was smiling...and...right then...as I sat watching her...I felt happier...so much happier...than I'd been at any time during the last four months.

Once I got down to her waist, I had to stop. "Uh...Carls...you need to stand up for a minute. Do you think you can...if I help you?"

"Yes."

I stripped down to my T-shirt and boxers; but, as I started to get into the tub, she put her hand against my shoulder.

"Sam?"

"Yes?"

"If you want to...to...take everything off...it's...okay."

"But, Carls..."

"Really...I don't mind if...we're...naked together."

"I do."

"Why?"

I shrugged.

She looked hurt. "I promise I...won't molest you."

"I believe you, Carls."

"Then what's the problem?"

"I...just don't think...that I...should."

"But...you're going to get all wet!"

"It's okay."

"But..."

"Really, Carls...it's okay."

Without giving her time to continue our argument...

...I got into the bathtub with her.

I leaned down...

...and she put her arms around my neck...

...and I helped her stand up...

...and I reached over...

...and picked up the soap...

...and then...

...I hesitated.

She leaned back, and looked at me...nervously. "It's okay...really...go ahead."

"Are you sure, Carls?"

"Yes."

I liberally lathered up my right hand...

...and I wrapped my left arm around her waist...

...and then...

...I hesitated.

"G-go ahead, Sam...it's...okay."

"Are you...still...sure?"

She was trembling, but she nodded.

I focused hard, with partial success, on not shaking. "O...okay. C-can you...open your legs for me?"

She did.

I slid my hand down between them...

...and I took a deep breath...

...and then...

...I touched her.

She leaned forward, and I felt her gasp, next to my ear.

"Carls...are you...okay?"

"Yes."

"Are you...scared? Because...I'm not going to...to..."

"I b-believe you, Sam. Go ahead."

"Carls?"

"Please."

And then, with her head resting on my shoulder...

...and her arms around my back...

...I gently pressed my fingers inside...

...and, slowly, gently, and carefully...

...I began to wash her.

"Oh...Sam!"

"Am I...hurting you?"

"No. N-n-not at all."

"Are you sure?"

"V-very sure."

"Should I...keep..."

"Yes," she whispered.

And then, as I continued, I heard the change in her breathing...

...as it gradually deepened...

...and then...

...changed again...

...and became more rapid...

...and I knew that it could mean only one of two things...

...so I picked one...

...hoping that I was right.

"So...uh..."

"So...what, Sam?"

"So...then...does everything...

"Does...everything...what?"

"...uh...does it...feel...uh...you know...uh...okay?"

"Y-yes...it...it feels...

and her arms tightened around my neck.

"...it...feels...oh...Sam...it _does_."

I focused, with only minimal success, on keeping my own breathing even, as I (nervously) asked, "Carls...are you...are you...en...joy...uh...you know...?"

She shifted slightly, leaning back to look at me...

...and she blushed...profusely. "Um...uh...yes...I am. Are...uh...are you?"

"Yes...I...I am, too. I'm sorry, Cupcake...but I am. _So much_. Are...are you...mad at me?"

I felt her hands sliding up my back, under my T-shirt. "No, Sam...because...because I...am too. _Very much_. Oh, Sam...it feels so...so...oh..."

And then she tilted her head forward, and her arms tightened around me, and I felt her breathing, deeply, against my neck. "Oh...ah...ah...yes..." she whispered.

I _swear_ that I wasn't trying to...well...you know...but just caressing her gently and soapily (is that a word(?), as I washed her, was completely blowing my mind (and, obviously, hers, too). "I...Carls...I'm glad that you're...that...you're..."

I felt her trembling against me. "Oh...Sam...I...really...r-really...oh...like..."

"I know...so do I...but...please don't be...upset with...please don't! I'm not trying...to...I _swear_ I'm not!"

"I...I'm...oh..._so not..._oh...at you...Sam...oh...I..._promise_...and I_ know that_...you're...you're...not deliber...oh..."

"C-carls...do you...feel...um...clean enough? Should...I..."

"No...don't stop...not yet...let's...oh...let's...make...absolutely sure...oh...kay?"

"Yes, Carls...y-you're...right...bet...uh...better...safe than...s-sorry...right?"

Suddenly, she started to shake harder, but in a different way; and then, I thought I heard a sob. "Sam...I...I...promised I'd be completely honest with you from now on...and...I...I..."

"Shh...Carls...you don't have to say it...I know you are. And so am I."

"Are we...oh...doing something...bad?"

It was heartbreaking to hear how upset she sounded. "No...of course not!"

"Then why...am I...oh..."

"Shh...no...don't...feel bad about...any-"

She began to sob. "Oh, Sam...I...want this...so much!"

"I...do too..."

"I know that...that you do...and I know that we shouldn't...not right now...because I...just had...surg..."

"I... know that too...Carls...I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, Sam...you...oh...don't need to be...not for anything...oh..."

"Carls...I swear...I'm...trying to...to think about TV bowling right now!"

"And...oh...I swear that I'm...trying to p-picture Miss Briggs...naked."

"Any...luck?"

"You...don't see any vomit...on your feet...do you?"

"No."

"Well...there's your...ah...answer. Oh...Sam...I...oh...ah...oh... "

Apologizing to Dr. Death-Breath last week was a breeze...compared to what I had to say next. "Carls...I'm...I'm...going to...to stop now."

"Do...do you...have to?"

"We...both know...that...I need to."

"I...know."

I stopped.

She looked so upset and disappointed that it took every atom of self-restraint in every fiber of my being to resist finishing what I'd started...

...completely for her sake...

...not for my own.

"I'm sorry, Cupcake..."

"I'm not."

"No...not for...what I mean is...sorry I...had to stop."

"Me...too."

I put both my arms around her hips, and looked into her eyes. "I'm _so_ sorry. Are...you...okay?"

She looked like she was about to cry...but she said, "Y-yes. I...know that...we...had to."

"Yes, Carls...we did...and I'm really..."

"I...I...oh, Sam...I...wish that...we could..."

I pulled her close. "I know...so do I."

She rested her head on my shoulder, and whispered, "Maybe...someday?"

"Maybe."

She turned, and raised her eyes to mine. "Sam?"

"Yes?"

"Do...do you...really...think..."

I pulled her closer. "I think Big Bertha would give us excellent odds..."

That evening, I wheeled her down to the kitchen...so she could sit in a real chair...and then I called B.F. Wangs, and ordered Chinese food for two (Spencer was over at Socko's, but was due back home around ten).

After it was delivered, we had dinner...with her sitting completely upright for the first time since the surgery...and then we both sat on the couch watching Girly Cow. Actually, I was watching her, rather than the show, for the first five minutes...until I was sure that she could laugh, while sitting up, without any additional pain...and, when I saw that she could...I finally relaxed...for the first time since I had brought her home.

About halfway through the show, during a particularly obnoxious commercial: _Fly-Dye (_'_Good for hair AND clothes!_'_)_...I turned to her. "Carls...there's a shred of broccoli between two of my back teeth...and it's driving me crazy. Do you know if Spencer has any dental floss?"

"I'm not sure...but there's some in the upstairs bathroom."

"I'll be right back."

It took a couple of minutes to find the floss; and, then, after a minute or two of concentrated effort, I finally managed to dislodge the offending broccoli debris.

I tossed the floss dispenser back into the top drawer of the cabinet...

...and came downstairs...

...and there she was...

..._walking out of the kitchen with a can of soda_.

"What the hell are you doing!"

"I...feel a lot better."

I jumped down the four remaining steps, and sprinted over to her. "That's only because the meds are _blocking your pain_!"

"Come on, Sam...I only..."

"Carls...you're supposed to use the chair!"

"But..."

"At all times!"

"But..."

"_For two weeks_!"

"I...only...went to the kitchen."

I was shaking. "Sit down on the couch! Now! And don't you _ever_ do that again!"

"Sorry."

Less than an hour later, we both were in bed. She was reading some dumb fashion magazine, and I was completely exhausted, so I gratefully kicked back, put in my ear-buds, and cranked up my PearPod...indulging in the new Cuttlefish album I had downloaded last week. I'd already heard most of the songs on the radio, but I really hadn't had a chance to listen to the entire album, because of being so busy with Carls.

The first track, _Fashion Felony,_ is great. It's a rant...about how ugly shoes should be illegal...and describes...in detail...all the horrible punishments that should be inflicted upon people who dare to wear them anyway.

And, as the song finished...

...I closed my eyes...

...just for a minute.

I guess I dozed off, because the next track that I heard begin to play was number seven. And it's my absolute favorite. It's a ballad called_ Tonight_...and it makes me feel (uncharacteristically) mushy and romantic.

And, suddenly, I wanted to hold Carls...so I sleepily rolled onto my side...

...and reached across the bed...

...and put my arms around...

...nothing.

I opened my eyes and sat up...but didn't see her. I figured that she must be in the bathroom, so I fell back onto the pillow, and turned off the song, and waited. A few minutes passed...with no sign of her, so I sat up again...and that's when I noticed...

...the wheelchair...

...still sitting in the corner of the room.

Fuck.

I pushed off the covers, and started to get out of bed and; then, looking up, I saw her, barefoot and in her nightshirt, standing in the bedroom doorway.

"Carls...what the hell!"

"Sam...spare me the sermon."

"What are you doing out of bed?"

"I only went to the bathroom...the doctor said I could do that."

"Yes..._if_ you use the wheelchair!"

"But..."

"Carls...you _know_ you're supposed to let me help you!"

"But...you were asleep."

"I don't care..."

"Sam...all you've done this week is wait on me...non-stop...and we both know that you need a break."

"Listen, Carls...that's enough of the lame-ass excu..."

...and then, suddenly, I stopped...

...because my heart stopped...

...when I saw the way she limped across the room, and over to the bed.

"Oh, God, Carls...what happened?"

"It's...nothing."

"Answer me, Carls...what the fuck happened?"

"There was a towel lying on the bathroom floor...and I didn't see it...and I...skidded."

She winced as she sat down on the bed and I scrambled off it and around to her side...to where she sat...leaning over...with her hands wrapped around her right shin.

"Did you whack your leg?"

"Yes."

"Let me see."

"It's fine."

"Come on, Carls," I insisted, gently moving her hands away.

There was a long, narrow, red mark...running vertically down the front of her shin. I pressed my fingers against it and she winced.

"It's definitely not broken, but there's a good chance that you'll end up with a bruise. I'll get you some ice."

"No...that's okay."

"But, Carls..."

"No, it'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes...I'm sure." She got under the covers.

"Carls...are you absolutely..."

"Shh...yes...it's after eleven, and I'm beat. Will you please turn off the light for me?"

Reluctantly, I got back into bed, and switched off the table lamp.

XXXXX

The first thing I saw, when I opened my eyes, was the glow of the alarm clock on the bedside table. Two-eighteen a.m.

But that's not what woke me up...

...it was...

...the touch of...

...her ice-cold hand on my arm.

I immediately turned on the light...

...and leaned over her...

...and...

...for the second time that night...

...my heart stopped.

"C-c-c-arls?"

Her face was so white...

...and her eyes were glassy and unfocused...

...as she lay there...

...trembling uncontrollably.

I put my own shaking hand against her cheek.

"Sam..." she whispered.

Instinctively, I pushed down the covers...and saw both her hands on her lower abdomen.

I moved them aside...and lifted up her nightshirt, and...OH, MY GOD!

I tore out of the room, down the stairs, across the living room, and down the hallway.

"SPENCER!"

Wrenching open the door to his room, I flew onto his bed...and immediately sprawled backward...as his fist slammed into my jaw. Thank God he was still half asleep, because, otherwise he definitely would have broken it.

"Sam...wha...what is it?"

"It's...IT'S CARLY!"

A/N: 'tis the season for giving...

...and it only takes two minutes to give a review...


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: This one's for you, Lucy...

Sam:

Spencer straightened up from where Carly lay on the bed, and whipped around to face me. "Sam where's your phone? Call 9-1-1!"

"But, Spencer..."

"Don't argue with me, Sam! Call 9-1-1...Now!"

"No! There's no time to wait for an ambulance! There's a taxi stand downstairs...so we can get her there faster...much faster, ourselves!"

He relented. "Y-you're right...go get the elevator!"

As I grabbed my backpack and ran out of the room, he wrapped the bedspread around Carly, picked her up, and hurried after me.

Once outside, we rushed to the first cab in the line, and I jumped into the backseat and held out my arms...and between the two of us, we gently eased Carly inside.

"Seattle Medical Center...Emergency Room entrance!"

It was the driver who said it.

Horn blaring, the cab lurched away from the curb, and tore down the street.

Mercifully, the hospital was less than a five-minute drive from Bushwell Plaza.

Carly was lying across our laps and, as Spencer was babbling into his phone...telling the ER staff to meet us outside, I heard...

"Sa...Sam...

I leaned forward, sliding my hands under her shoulders. "I'm here."

"...not...E.R.," she moaned.

"Shh...don't try to talk."

I felt her hand fumbling, up against my chest. "No, Sam...no..."

"It's okay, Carls...I'll b-be r-right in there w-with you...and I s-swear I w-won't let anything b-bad h-happen to you!"

Even though her head was in my lap, it was difficult to hear what she was saying, since her voice was barely a whisper, so I leaned closer.

"Sam...I'm...so...s-sorr..."

"No...d-don't b-be...there's n-no need f-for..." I started blinking rapidly...fighting back the tears that were stinging my eyes...desperately trying to hide how close I was to completely falling apart...

...right in front of her.

"Oh...Sam..."

"Carls?" I began...

...and then, I watched, in horror, as her head began to loll to one side.

"No!" I screamed. "Carls...Carls...look at me!"

She didn't, so I laid my hand against her cheek, and turned her back to face me. "L-listen t-to...m-m-m-me...I l-love you...m-m-more than I've...ever loved an-nyone or...or...anything...in m-my l-life!"

I couldn't tell if she'd comprehended any of it, but I heard, "I...Sa..."

Without taking my eyes off hers, I groped around until I found her hand...and I grabbed it, but it was cold and limp. "Please don't...f-for me...you're gonna be...I promise...Carls, please!"

Her fingers stirred inside mine. "I..."

"Please!"

She didn't answer.

Then the cab driver slammed on the brakes...and I knew we'd arrived.

Through my tears, I saw Spencer fling a fistful of money into the front seat...

...and shove his door open...

...and jump out...

...but before he got around to my side...

...the door was yanked open...

...and a pair of unfamiliar arms reached in...

...and seized her...

...and I watched, helplessly...

...as she was roughly dragged off my lap...

...and dropped onto a stretcher.

I jumped out of the cab, and nearly fell on my face, because, when she'd been taken from me, her bedspread had fallen off, and it was now tangled around my legs. I kicked it off, and left it lying there, abandoned, as Spencer grabbed my arm, and we both tore into the hospital behind her; in our pajamas and bare feet, through the doors, down two corridors, and, completely ignoring the shouts of the receptionist, straight into the Emergency Room.

To this day...no matter how hard I try to recall them in detail...the next ten minutes are aren't completely clear. I remember seeing four people in green scrubs rush over, crowding around the stretcher...and then one of the male nurses was shoving up Carly's nightshirt, and cutting off her ruined underwear; and, as he peeled back the badly-stained, white silk, and the bulky, yet completely-drenched, overnight pad that was attached to it, I stared, in horror, at the ugly, wedge-shaped, dark purple discoloration, that stretched across her lower pelvis, just above her pubic hair...

...and blood was everywhere...on Carly...on the gurney...on the floor...all over the nurse's gloves; and then I heard someone, I think it was one of the doctors, say, "I'm sorry, Sir, but you're going to have to leave."

"No, she's my s-sister, I _will_ see what's done for her!"

"I'm sorry, sir."

Then I heard the scuffle of several pairs of feet, and knew that they were forcing him out of the room, but I couldn't take my eyes off her.

Her eyes were only half-open, but she was looking in my direction, and she was weakly trying to reach out her hand...

...toward me.

As I moved forward to take it, I heard another male voice. "That kid can't be in here."

"Shove it, Loser...I'm Not Leaving!"

Before I could turn my head, and confront the person I heard walking up behind me, I suddenly felt the huge intern grab me...wrapping his arms around my mid-section...pinning my arms to my sides; and I was yanked up, off my feet, violently kicking empty air, as I yelled, "No! She's my girlfr...NO!"

I do remember the last words I heard as I was hauled out of the room.

They were hers.

"Sam...w-where...did you...?"

While screaming every filthy obscenity in my (extensive) repertoire, I was carried, briskly, down the hall; and then, suddenly, once we were well out of sight of the ER doors, I felt my feet touch the floor, and my arms being released.

Instead of promptly turning around...and landing several well-deserved, bruise-inducing punches on the sadistic bastard who'd dragged me out here...which I immediately would have done under any other circumstances...my knees suddenly gave way, and I collapsed against the wall I was standing next to. Not bothering to try to hide the tears that were pouring down my cheeks, I felt myself sliding down the wall...and then I sank, face-down, onto the floor.

Through my blurred vision, I saw several people standing nearby, but no one seemed willing to approach me, probably because they were afraid of encountering my fists, which were repeatedly slamming, as hard as I could make them, against the floor.

This is not happening! It's not! It's not! What happened? How is any of this happen...

Then, suddenly, I came to a complete physical and mental stop.

What am I doing...what the fuck is wrong with me? I've got to get back in there!

And I'll beat the shit out of anyone who tries to stop me!

I momentarily flattened my palms...and my face...against the floor, breathing heavily, while I struggled to scrape my fragmented, unfocused thoughts back together...

...and to strategize.

Okay...plan your work...then work your plan: Anyone who gets in my way...loses a minimum of four teeth...no exceptions.

Okay...that's enough of a plan for now...after that...I'll...just have to improvise.

It's time for action.

As I purposefully and determinedly raised my forehead off the Florentine tiles, a pair of arms wrapped around me, unexpectedly, and I felt myself being picked up...and suddenly, I was seized with the overwhelming urge to mutilate that 'waste-of-sperm-gorilla-of-an-intern', for daring to touch me again. My arms mechanically shot forward, and I seized two fistfuls of shirtfront, and started slamming his chest, punctuating each blow with, "Get! Off! Me! You! Mo! Ther! Fu..."

"Ow! Sam! Ow! Ow...Sam...it's me!"

I paused, momentarily, and then looked down, between my balled-up fists...and I immediately recognized the design on the front of the T-shirt I was holding...

_...Penguin Love_.

It was Spencer.

I allowed him to pull me to my feet...but not to speak. "Listen to me, Spence...we've got to get back in there...we can't leave her alone...with strangers!"

"Sam...I don't..." Then he stopped abruptly, and looked over my shoulder...and I heard him gasp. I twisted around in his arms, and, following his line of vision, I saw Carly, lying on a stretcher, flanked by several ER staff members, being rushed down hall...toward us...and toward the OR.

Her face was completely drained of color...but her head was turned in my direction...and I thought I saw her looking into my eyes as the gurney shot past me.

"Carls? Carls!"

She didn't respond.

I immediately started running after her...with Spencer right behind me.

As the stretcher hurtled through the OR's double doors, two security guards, who were stationed at a nearby desk, jumped in front of them...blocking our way. "Sorry...no friends or family...hospital staff only," the one standing in front of Spencer stated, in a semi-bored tone of voice.

Spencer put both hands on the guy's shoulders...

...and looked at him imploringly...

...as he begged...

(Oh, good...maybe he can persuade them to make an exception.)

"Please...please...let us in...I...I know...uh...Dr. Roller-coaster!"

(Shit.)

The guard standing in front of me whipped his head around, and sneered at Spencer. "What do you think you are...a comedian?"

And I saw my chance.

Desperate and determined, I immediately dropped to the floor, and dived between his legs, but he moved his left one over to his right, trapping me in a vice-like grip. (I'll bet this guy could crack walnuts between his knees.)

Just then, I heard another guard hurrying over...

...oh, great...there's three.

I was unceremoniously hauled to my feet, and I promptly grabbed one of the guard's hands, and tried to drag it...from my stomach...up onto my chest...so I'd have an 'excuse' to beat him up. But he snatched his hand away from my torso, then clamped both hands onto my shoulders, turned me around, and marched me away from the doors. I looked to my right, and saw Spencer getting the same treatment.

We both were steered over to a couch, about twenty-five feet away, and I heard one of the guards utter a single word:

"Sit."

I defiantly continued to stand.

Spencer sat down, just as I heard the nurse from the Admitting desk call over, "Excuse me, Sir...you have some paperwork to fill out."

"I'll be there in a minute," he replied, and then I felt his hand on my arm, pulling me down onto the couch.

As soon as my butt hit the upholstery, I jerked my arm free. "No! If you...or anybody else...thinks I'm just going to sit here..."

"Sam...it's better if we...stay out of the way right now...and let them do what they...can."

"I can't believe you're giving up...she's your _sister_!"

"Sam...you're not thinking..."

"Yes I am...it's only three guys...well...four, if you count that bruiser of a female nurse...but still...we could take them!"

"Sam...if you really want to help..."

I paused for a second to consider. "Okay, you're right...maybe we can't beat them _all_ up...so, instead...let's rush them...they can only shoot one of us!"

He shook his head sadly. "You're being irrational."

"Fuck rationality! Carly needs us!"

He shot me a meaningful look, and said, quietly, "You need her, too...don't you, Sam?"

Uh oh.

It had never occurred to me to plan for this moment...and I found myself at a complete loss...possibly for the first time in my life...as I struggled to find the appropriate words to say to the brother of the only girl I've ever loved. "I...I..."

I felt his hand cover mine. "Look, I know it's none of my business...well, okay, maybe it is...but it's obvious that you two are...uh...somewhat more than...just friends...

"...and that you're scared of losing her...and so am I...

"...so the best thing we can do right now is...to stay out of the way."

"No, Spencer...I...we..."

His hand was gently pushing against my shoulder. "Sam...lean back."

"But..."

"Please do it...just for a minute."

Utterly drained...and realizing that I'd completely exhausted my entire supply of adrenaline...the only thing that had sustained me, non-stop, over the past three brutally long and difficult days...

...I leaned back...

...just for a minute.

He stripped off his sweatshirt, folded twice, and slid it behind my head. "That's good, Sam...now close your eyes...that's right...and listen to me..."

I can't remember a single word he said...because the long night - and even longer week - suddenly, finally, and completely caught up with me...

...and I blacked out.

Three hours later, when I opened my eyes...

...I found myself sprawled across Spencer's lap.

I moaned, loudly, as I sat up, because I was incredibly stiff from lying in that position...

...and then I flinched, as I felt his hand slide up under the back of my T-shirt. "Don't."

"Sam."

"No...don't."

"Please. I desperately need to do something constructive right now."

I thought it over for a moment, then nodded, and, moving over closer to him, I leaned forward, with my elbows on my knees, and my face in my hands, while he rubbed my back. Even though it didn't do much to alleviate my knotted-up muscles, it still felt somewhat consoling...almost like having Carly nearby.

Less than five minutes had passed, when I heard the sound of approaching footsteps. I looked up, and we both jumped to our feet, as we saw the nurse from the Admitting desk walking toward us.

"Is...is she...?" Spencer couldn't finish.

The nurse shook her head. "I don't know...I haven't heard anything...she's still in surgery. I just wanted to let the two of you know that there's a chapel down the hall, if you'd like to visit it."

"But..." I began.

"I promise that if the doctor finishes, in the meantime, that I'll come get you both...right away."

I saw Spencer looking at me, questioningly.

I nodded.

It was a small, but very pretty room; and, aside from us, it was empty. Ignoring the three rows of pews, I went straight to the alter, knelt down, folded my hands and bowed my head...

...and I felt Spencer kneeling down next to me. "Would you like to go first, Sam?"

I nodded...

...but, then...

...I hesitated.

What could _I_ possibly say? To Him?

I took a deep breath. "Hi. You...uh...probably don't remember me...but my name is Sam Puc..."

"Sam!"

I opened my eyes, looked up, and started scanning the ceiling...wildly. "Is that You, Lord? Because You sound a lot like this guy I know named Spencer Sh..."

"Sam...that's not funny."

I turned to face Spencer, expecting a lecture on irreverence, but his eyes were kind. "I know you have a tendency to be...this way...when you're attempting to... Why don't you try again?"

I bowed my head again, and, after much hesitation, began. "Lord, I know that I have..._no right..._to ask You for _anything_...

"...and...I'm...well aware of...

"...of how short I've fallen...

"...and...of...how incredibly disappointed in me You must be...

"...every day...

"...and...so I'm sure that You have...absolutely no interest in...in...anything that I have to say."

And I felt Spencer's shoulder touching mine, as he leaned over, and whispered, "Two words, Sam...

...Prodigal Son."

I lost it...

...completely.

Shaking violently, I opened up...and prayed like I never had before...with every shred of passion and sincerity in my soul. "Please...Lord, please, I_ know_ that I've screwed up...completely and non-stop...for as long as I can remember, but.._._I'm the screw up...not her! She's such a kind, loving, unselfish, beautiful person...and we both know that she _doesn't deserve _this!"

My hands grabbed onto the wood railing of the alter, and my forehead was against it...

...as I voluntarily cast aside all my defenses...

...and watched every wall, embankment, chasm, roadblock, and barricade that I'd ever constructed between myself and everyone else, explosively shatter, and then crumble into dust...

...and I was left, on my knees, naked, exposed, and completely vulnerable...

...before the world...

...and before Him...

...not even caring...

...because hiding no longer mattered...

...because my damaged, 'invincible' tough facade was both pointless and valueless now...

...because...

...without her...

...I had nothing..

"Please, please, I'm begging You, even though I _know_ that I have absolutely no right to...and I know that, in the movies, people in these situations promise to be good forever and I can't even promise You that...that I will... not even for even a week, because we both know I'd be lying, but I'm begging You, Lord... please.._.please_ don't take her away from me!"

I was hanging over the railing, with my arms wrapped around it...like it was the only remaining piece of wreckage from a now-sunken ship...and there was absolutely nothing else I could see, in any direction...not anymore...except for endless, empty, icy, gray sea...

"I love her so much that I don't want her to suffer...I want to be the one who hurts! You know it should be me...not her! Let something horrible happen to _me_...let it be _me_...not her...please_, _Lord,..._please_!'

And then, somehow, I found myself leaning against Spencer's chest, and he was praying; but I was bawling so loudly that I couldn't make out the words...

...and, the next thing I knew, we were sitting in a front pew, and he was rocking me in his arms. "Sam," he whispered in my ear, "that's the most Christ-like thing I've ever heard a Christian say."

"S-spencer..."

"Shh...He heard us..."

"But...I...I..."

"...and He's going to do what's best for us...for all of us...He always does."

Sitting there, with my face in my hands...I nodded...and felt his arms tighten around me.

Finally, with a sigh, I got up, and so did Spencer; then he took my hand, and we headed back into the hallway.

As we were passing the bathrooms, on our way back to the couch, I felt his hand on my shoulder. "Sam, let's make a pit stop...why don't you go pee...and wash your face."

It wasn't a question.

I turned, and looked up at him. "And...afterward...should I bother to wash my hands?"

He smiled, for a split second, and then pretended to look very stern. "If you don't...no breakfast."

"Breakfast?" It was probably the first time in my life that I'd gone more than an hour without thinking about food.

He nodded. "Yes. It's almost seven a.m...and I saw Fat Cakes in that vending machine we just passed."

I shrugged. "I'm not hungry."

"Sam, look at me. No matter how we feel right now...starving ourselves isn't going to help."

I went into the bathroom.

Ten minutes later I was sitting back on the couch, contemplating the huge pile of Fat Cakes in front of me, on the coffee table...right next to the four cans of Peppy Cola. Normally, this is my favorite, non-bacon breakfast...

...but I just wasn't in the mood...

...but, then again, I _had _promised Spencer, so,_ for him_, I grabbed one, and ripped it open with my teeth...

...but my heart absolutely was not in it...

...and, just as I was opening my sixth package, I saw one of the surgeons I remembered from earlier walking out of the OR. I flung my Fat Cakes back onto the table, and Spencer and I both tore over to where he stood, removing his surgical mask.

Incapable of speech, I just grabbed his arm, and looked up at him...eyes pleading.

With a sympathetic look, he reached down and grasped my hand. "She's out of danger...and...will probably...recover fully."

He staggered backward, landing against the wall, as I buried my face in his chest...and prayed, "Thank You, Lord..so much! I...uh...can't promise to _always_ be good...but I realize that I...do owe You _something_...so...I _promise _You that...I won't be a brat...until..._until this time tomorrow_! Amen!"

The surgeon gently pushed me away from himself. "I'm sorry, Miss, did you say something?"

I shook my head.

One of Spencer's hands was in my hair, and the other was in his own. "I...we...don't understand...what..."

The surgeon turned to him. "Before we put her under, I asked her what had happened, and she told me that she slipped, and fell, hard, against the sharp corner of a marble sink."

My exhausted mind didn't get it. "But...she told me that...that...she hit her shin."

He nodded. "She did, also; but most of her weight landed against the sink corner...and it hit her in the worst possible place. Not only did she rip almost all of her original stitches, she also lacerated the area, enlarging the wound by about fifty percent."

Spencer's face was white. "Oh, My God! W-what about...all the blood she lost?"

"Yes, she's already had two transfusions; and we're about to give her a third."

And I started to cry. "This is all my fault...if I hadn't been listening to music, I might have heard...how hard she fell...and then I would have known to...to..."

Spencer turned to me. "It's nobody's fault."

"But..._I_...w-was responsible for taking care of..."

"No, Sam...it's nobody's fault...and we both know it." He looked back at the surgeon. "Where is she now...in the I.C.U.?"

"No, we've just moved her to a private room."

Spencer nodded. "When...can we see her?"

"You can, sir, immediately; even though she's not conscious at the moment."

I felt my body go cold. "W-why can't I go, too?"

He turned back to me. "You're Samantha Puckett, aren't you?"

"Yes...but...how do you know my..."

He held up his hand. "You can, see her, too, and soon. But first, I have to...well...I just got off the phone with Dr. Anderson, and when I told him that Carly had been brought in, he asked me if you were here also...and when I told him that you were...he requested that I have a word with you."

"But...about what?"

He looked at Spencer, and then back to me. "I'm sorry, but I have to discuss this matter with you privately."

Spencer turned to me. "Sam...do you want me to wait...until...?"

"No...g-go ahead...it's fine...I'll see her...right after you do. But, if she does wake up while you're there...please give her my love."

"Don't worry, Sam...I will."

"All of it."

"Of course."

After getting directions to Carly's room, he left; and I stood, watching his rapidly-retreating back, wishing with all my heart that I was going with him.

Then I felt the surgeon's hand on my shoulder. "Miss Puckett, will you come with me?"

I nodded, and then turned...and followed him silently down the hall.

Carly:

I slowly opened my eyes, blinking repeatedly, trying to clear my blurred vision. The gold and crimson sunlight that was filtering through the tall windows wrapped around the furniture in the room, and filled it with long, late-afternoon shadows. Turning my head to the right, I saw Dr. Anderson, clipboard in hand, looking down at me, with raised eyebrows. "Someone's been a_ Very_ _Naughty_ girl."

I averted my eyes. "Yeah...I guess."

"How are you feeling?"

I paused to consider. "Mostly numb...I really don't feel much of anything."

"Enjoy it while it lasts."

I concentrated hard...trying to grasp some concept of the passage of time...but failed. "How long ago...?"

"You were in surgery for four hours, and you've been in and out of consciousness for almost twelve."

I nodded, looking at him curiously, since he wasn't wearing a lab coat over his dress shirt...and then, I noticed his smart suit jacket and necktie, tossed over the back of the chair that was behind him.

And then...I felt something stir...next to me.

I turned my head to the left...and there was Sam...lying curled up, on the hospital bed that had been pushed against mine...with her eyes closed...and her her face looking so incredibly white...and I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt...knowing how worried she must be.

I turned back to face Dr. Anderson, and he told me, in detail, what he'd heard from the OR surgeon; and then he said, "I'm just on my way to an early dinner, and thought I'd stop in to see how you are. I'll be back, tomorrow, to have a look 'up the chute'."

And then...well...I just had to tell him.

"Doc...I was wondering...can I...change the subject for a minute?"

"Of course."

"Uh...I just wanted to say that...you have the most gorgeous clothes."

He looked genuinely flattered. "Thank you. I usually shop in New York; my family has a second residence there...in an old, renovated brownstone...on the Upper West Side."

I nodded. "I especially love that shirt."

He smiled. "I appreciate the compliment, but I can't take credit for this one...my wife picked it out."

I reached out to touch his sleeve. "Well, she has excellent tas...ow!"

The pain was stabbing...and deep...and I immediately let my arm drop, because the inside of my right elbow felt like it had a harpoon through it. I looked down, expecting to see an IV, but there wasn't one, although the area was bandaged.

I looked back to Dr. Anderson. "What...happened?"

"You lost so much blood that you needed transfusions...three of them."

"Three? Doc...I'm...I'm really sorry that I didn't bank any blood...like you asked me to."

"It wasn't a problem," he replied.

"But...didn't you say that AB Negative is...usually in short supply?"

He suddenly looked confused. "You mean...you don't know that..."

"I...don't know...what?"

"I thought you knew that...Sam was your donor."

"What?"

"Yes. All three of your blood transfusions came from her."

"That's...impossible."

He smiled. "Actually, it's very possible. Sam's blood type is O Negative...and that's compatible with AB Negative."

I thought I'd heard him wrong. "But...that's...three pints..."

"Yes."

"I...I thought a person could only donate blood once every fifty-six days."

"Yes...that's correct."

"Then...how...?"

He was shaking his head. "Carly, I'm really surprised that Sam didn't tell you about this. Two days after your initial appointment with me, she showed up for the first donation, and then again, almost two months later. Both of them were being kept in storage, here at the hospital, and, since you didn't need either one during your first surgery, they were still available. Her third, and final donation was last night."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "She...last night?"

"Yes...we told her that you needed one more transfusion...and she immediately volunteered."

I was speechless.

Dr. Anderson was rolling up his shirt-sleeves, as a nurse brought in a tray and set it down on the table next to my bed. "Carly, I'm going to give you something now to help you sleep through the night."

As much as I hate getting shots...and hate hospitals...there was absolutely no way that I could be so selfish as to wake Sam up...and I desperately wanted and needed to escape, temporarily; to put some distance between myself and everything that had led up to me being where I was right now; so I willingly screwed up my face, and my courage, as he gave me the injection.

"There...that should take effect within the next five to ten minutes. I'll see you again, sometime tomorrow."

Then I watched as he picked up his necktie and jacket...and walked out.

I turned my head, and looked back over at Sam.

She hadn't moved from the position I'd originally found her in, but her breathing was even...and I lay next to her...just watching and listening to her...simultaneously overwhelmed and humbled by what she'd done for me..._my_ endearingly-devil-may-care...recklessly-rowdy...carelessly-thoughtless...self-centered...self-serving...perpetually-hungry...exasperatingly-naughty...

"Sam...I love you..._so much_," I whispered.

She didn't hear me...

...but that was okay.

Reaching over to where she lay, I gently moved her hair off her face, and then caressed her pale cheek.

"notasleepwhatdoyouneed," she murmured.

With a smile, I reached down and held onto her hand, just as I felt the meds Dr. Anderson had given me begin to kick in.

The last thing I remember, before I nodded off, is Sam mumbling something about "awake"...

...or maybe it was "Fat Cake".

A/N: The more you review...

...the more I write.


	6. Chapter 6

Carly:

The sun's warm, lingering rays cascaded silently through the bare tree branches, under the late September sky...

...and standing at the edge of the primeval forest, watching as the perfect autumn day slowly came to its reluctant end, I thought I'd never seen anything so profoundly beautiful...

...until Sam removed the helmet from her suit of armor, and the falling light behind her set her hair aflame, in a breath-taking golden halo, as she returned her crimson-stained sword to the jeweled scabbard hanging at her side.

Moving forward, she took my face between her hands.

"Carly Shay, I would die for you...

"...and I would consider it a privilege."

Blinking back tears of overwhelming love and gratitude, I surrendered, completely, to her touch, to her gaze, but most of all, to her words; and I sank, weakly and willingly, onto the welcoming bed of fallen leaves...

...next to her.

"Lie back," she whispered, and I did, wanting...

...and needing...

...this...

...and her...

...so badly...

..._now_.

Eyes closed, I barely managed to suppress a gasp...

...as I felt my clothes fall away...

...and felt the overpowering, throbbing, ache between my legs...

...and felt the undeniable heat of how incredibly, unbelievably wet she'd made me...

...with only a touch.

I opened my eyes, then lifted my gaze, and saw Sam, in her battered armor, lying on her side, holding my hand, and looking down at me...

...with so much love...

...as I lay there...

...nearly naked...

...as her other hand...

...was removing my soaking-wet panties.

Oh, My God, Sam...I want..._and need..._you to...right now...so badly..._please! _I _absolutely can't wait_ any long...

"Carly? Carly, it's time to wake up." A hand was gently shaking my shoulder.

I opened my eyes, then lifted my gaze, and saw Sam, in her wrinkled pajamas, lying on her side, holding my hand, and looking down at me...

...with so much love...

...as I lay there...

...nearly naked...

...as the nurse's hands...

...were removing my soaking-wet diaper.

Oh-My-God-The-Nurse-Is-Removing-My-Soaking-Wet-Diaper!

Shifting my glance to the head of the bed, I saw Dr. Anderson, his hand still on my shoulder, smiling at me. "Hi, Carly, how are you feeling?"

"Uh, completely humiliated, and cramped-up...among other things."

Then I looked down again, and saw - and felt - the nurse cleaning between my legs with some foul-and-medicinal-smelling stuff...

...as I lay there...

...now completely naked...

...and I felt my face burning, as Sam reached over and gently pushed my hair off my forehead.

"Hi, Cupca..."

"Oh, God, Sam! She's...she..."

"It's okay.

"But, she's..."

"Shh, just look at me, not at her."

"But..."

"I'm right here with you. Everything's going to be okay, now," she whispered, carefully easing me back onto the mattress.

I buried my face in my hands and mumbled, "Sam, I'm so sorry...about all of this."

"Huh? I didn't catch that."

I shook my head.

She gently moved my hands away. "Now, what were you saying?"

I apologized again.

"Don't get stressed out about it. It's not a big deal."

"Sam, how can you say that? The Cuttlefish concert is less than three weeks away, and you know how badly we both want to go; and if I'm still..."

"It's okay," she replied, deliberately avoiding my eyes.

"No, it's not! They're such great seats! We're only going to be four rows from the stage!"

"Listen, Carls, I'm not even going unless we go together; and I don't care if I miss fifty of their concerts; I just want you to get well. Besides, I'd rather be _anywhere_ with you, than at a Cuttlefish concert alone."

Oh, my God...

...I knew that she loved me...

...but.._.that much_?

I wanted to cry.

"Oh, Sam! You're so..."

And then I noticed that Dr. Anderson was staring at us both in amazement. "You're going to Cuttlefish's _Step on my Tongue_ concert? The one at the Seattle Civic Center? My two girls have been trying to find Cuttlefish tickets, ever since they went on sale, but every one of their shows has been sold out for months. How did you manage to get them?"

I cringed as Sam began, "Well, my uncle Carmine is, let's just say, a persuasive kind of guy..."

And then she stopped.

Whew! At least she didn't go into detail about her uncle's 'surprise visit' to Daryl Keaton, the guy who works at the Civic Center's box office...exactly ten minutes before the Cuttlefish tickets officially went on sale...and their, uh, 'friendly chat' about Daryl's 'little gambling hobby'...not to mention the ensuing discussion of the money,_ and_ the huge favor, that Daryl still owed her uncle, as a result of it.

But then, just as I began to relax, an orderly came in and started to screw stirrups onto the end of the bed.

Oh no.

Dr. Anderson saw the apprehension in my eyes. "Well, I guess you know what's coming next."

"Oh, God, Doc...do we...absolutely _have to_?"

He set down his clipboard. "Carly, I'll make a deal with you. If you can get out of bed, right now, and dance a Highland Fling for me, I'll let you skip this."

I groaned.

He smiled. "Hmm...I didn't think so."

"Uh, Doc, where's my gown? Why am I...naked?"

He laid a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "I just want to have a look at everything, since no one has examined you, while you're conscious, since you fell. Now, let me know if you feel any pain anywhere."

Reluctant, yet resigned (what choice did I have(?), I nodded and closed my eyes; and I know I blushed as I felt his hands begin to move, gently, over my body.

As he slowly and carefully palpitated every part of my neck, shoulders, chest, arms, hands, legs, and feet, I realized that everything (aside from my transfusion site) actually felt alright. Even my bruised shin didn't hurt anymore; and, after it was over, he smiled when I told him that it hadn't been painful for me, anywhere.

But then, as he put his hands under my lower back, and carefully began to slide me down to end of the bed...

...I felt blindingly-unbearable, raw, fiery agony explode deep within my pelvis.

"Goddammit! Oh, bloody Goddamn fucking hell!"

Even though it hurt worse than anything I'd ever experienced in my life, I was still shocked at my cursing. I glanced, guiltily, at Dr. Anderson, who looked more than a little surprised.

"That's quite a colorful vocabulary you have there, Ms. Shay."

"I'm...sorry."

He walked down to the end of the bed. "Carly, it's time to have a look inside. I'm going to be as careful as I possibly can, but I can pretty much guarantee that this isn't going to be a skip through the park."

As he picked up the speculum, I heard Sam's sharp intake of breath, and felt her grab onto my hand.

And then, as he inserted it...

...every single one of the nerves in my body jolted awake, from their medicated stupors, and shrieked in protest.

"Please pull it out! _Please!_"

He didn't.

"Shit! Shit! Shit! That motherfucking hurts like a bitch!"

Oh, my God...I can't believe what I just said! No matter how brutal my suffering is...there's_ absolutely no excuse _for a filthy, sewer mouth! I turned to Sam, and even though she was looking at me with deep concern in her eyes, I'm sure that I saw the corners of her mouth twitch in amusement.

Highly ashamed, I looked down to the end of the bed, and, speculum still inside my vagina, I gasped, through my anguish, "Dr. Anderson, I'm really, really sorry! I_ never_ swear!"

I could tell that his look of sympathy was genuine. "Carly, it's alright. I realize that this is incredibly painful for you, but we have to complete this exam; so let's both focus on getting it over with as soon as we possibly can, okay?"

I nodded, terrified, knowing exactly what he was going to do next.

He opened the speculum...

...and, instead of cursing, I prayed for death.

After spending several excruciating minutes alternately crying and biting my lower lip so hard that I'm surprised it didn't bleed, I stared, shaking, in apprehensive terror, as he picked up a familiar, yet still incredibly frightening, twisted chrome instrument from his tray.

The dilator.

"Carly, I have to open your uterus now, to see how things look. I'm sorry but there's no other way to do this...and it's going to hurt."

"Wait a minute, Doc," Sam spoke up.

He looked over at her, and then nodded.

She moved closer to the top of the bed...

...and opened the top two buttons of her pajama jacket...

...and then I felt her hands on the back of my head, as she lifted it...

...while Dr. Anderson began stretching open my cervix...

... and I screamed, non-stop, at the top of my lungs, against her chest.

Several long minutes later, when I was exhausted beyond words, from both the pain and the yelling, Sam slowly lowered my head back onto the pillow...

...and I stared through my tears, in horror, at the multiple rows of reddish-purple teeth marks that I'd left between her breasts.

She saw me looking, and, without a word, quickly buttoned her pajamas back up.

Dr. Anderson held out two pills and I immediately snatched them from his hand and scarfed them down, and then rapidly chugged the glass of water he gave me.

"Whoa, easy there!" he said.

"So, uh, how does everything...look?" Sam asked him, while using her sleeve to wipe my streaming eyes.

He directed his answer to me. "You're bleeding quite a lot, which is fine, because, according to your chart, you have your period right now."

I nodded, and opened my mouth to speak...

...but then I happened to glance down to the end of the bed...

...to the nurse's hands...

...to the_ huge, padded diaper_ that she was holding...

...and that she was about to slide under me.

And I closed my legs as tightly as I could.

"No! Not that thing! I don't want to!"

Sam took my hand. "Shh, it's going to be..."

"No, Sam! No it's not! I don't...I WON'T!"

And I started to struggle.

Sam's hands were on my shoulders, effortlessly holding me against the mattress, since I was so weak.

"Shh, it's okay. Just let her put it on you."

And I started to cry. "No, Sam; don't make me!"

"Please, Carls...for me?"

"No! Get that thing away from me! I...I...want to wear panties!"

"Carls..."

"No!"

"Carls, just listen to me. If I were lying here, instead of you, and you asked me to do this...I would...even though I'd hate it...because I'd know you were only trying to help me...because you love me."

"Sam, please...no!"

She bent down and looked into my eyes. "You know that I love you, Carls."

"Sam, I don't wan..."

"You _know_ that I do."

"Y-yes, but I d-don't w-want..."

"So, now...please...for me?"

I raised my head, and, understanding, she pulled me to her, and held me close, while I cried against her chest.

"Please?" she whispered.

I shook my head.

"Please, Carls?"

Then I felt her lips on my forehead.

"Please?"

I didn't respond.

"Okay?"

I slowly nodded.

"Thank you."

She lowered me back onto the pillow and held me, as I silently submitted to the nurse putting the diaper on me...hating the way it felt...hating the fact that Sam knew I was wearing it...hating being in this bed...in excruciating pain...in even worse condition than I was the last time I was here...just desperately wanting this exam to be over so I could go home.

Once my gown had been put on and I was back under the covers, I lay there with my eyes closed, way too embarrassed to look at Sam, or anyone else for that matter, while I listened to Dr. Anderson.

"Dr. Mitchell, the OR surgeon, did an excellent job stitching you back up. As I mentioned last night, you now have, in addition to your original incision, a significant laceration to the area, which has increased the size of the wound by almost fifty percent. Which also increases your chances of infection considerably, since an incision is a neat cut, whereas a laceration is a jagged tear. But, barring any further complications, we'll have you out of here in no more than a week."

My eyes snapped open. "No! I'm not staying here a week! I didn't even want to stay here last night...but I realized...that I probably had to...so I..."

He shook his head. "Carly, I'm sorry, but, considering what just happened, the severity of your injury, and your overall condition, I'm afraid that six or seven days is the minimum length of time that you can expect..."

"No! I'm not staying!

"Listen to me. The sooner you take responsibility for your recovery, the sooner..." He laid his hand on my arm.

I shook it off. "No! I'm not staying!

"Carly, be reasonable."

"I don't want to be here! I Hate It Here! "

Dr. Anderson leaned over the bed. "I refuse to risk having you rip your stitches again. There's already going to be additional scar tissue, due to this second injury. One more trauma to the area could mean permanent damage, or even..."

I turned to Sam. "Get me out of here! I want to go home!"

"But, Carls..."

"_RIGHT NOW_, SAM!"

"Carly," Dr. Anderson interjected, "are you going to calm down...or will I have to sedate you?"

My heart leapt to my throat. "No!"

"I don't want to...but if you don't settle down, immediately, I'm going to have to...

"No!"

"...for the entire week if necessary."

Oh, My God.

"I'M NOT STAYING HERE AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"

I tried to sit up, to get out of bed, but the pain was killer; and I fell back, breathing heavily.

With a final, regretful glance at me, he nodded to the nurse...

...and she began to prepare the syringe

"No! You can't make me do this!"

She handed it to him.

I tried, again, to get up, but I was in _way_ too much pain.

Then the nurse leaned over me, attempting to hold my arm still; as I tried, unsuccessfully, to move away from her, and across the bed, toward Sam.

"No! Get off! Leave me alone!"

Sam, looking rattled, moved closer, bent down, and kissed my forehead. "Shh, we all only want what's best for..."

"I'm Not Staying!"

"But, Carls, I'll be here with you, for the whole week...so it's okay."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing! Why wasn't she even_ trying_ to defend me? Incredibly hurt, by her silence and her unwillingness to take my side on this, I screamed, "NO! I'd rather die than be in here!"

Dr. Anderson paused, and laid a hand on my shoulder. "Carly you're over-reac..."

"Shut Up And Get Away From Me!"

He shook his head, and then began to lower the needle. "I'm sorry."

"DON'T YOU DARE PUT THAT FUCKING THING IN MY ARM!"

"I'm sorry, but it's neces..."

I reached over with my free arm...

...and slapped the syringe out of his hand...

...and onto the floor.

He was clearly beginning to get annoyed. After asking the nurse to go get another syringe, he turned back to me. "Carly, please don't make it necessary for me to have to secure you to this bed."

"NO! YOU CAN'T!"

"Doc, _please_ don't strap her down to the.." Sam (finally(!) began.

He turned to her. "I'm sorry, but if she's going to refuse to cooperate, then I'm afraid there's no other option."

She bit her lower lip, and looked like she was trying, hard, to figure out what to say next.

I reached over with my left hand, and grabbed a fistful of Sam's shirt...

...and dragged her to me.

"Sam get me out of here!"

She looked at me, near tears. "Carls, I'm really sorry, but I don't think he'd insist that you stay here if it wasn't...absolutely necessary."

Oh, no.

I realized, now, that I was now completely and utterly alone.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

So I knew what I had to do.

"Sam, bring me your backpack."

"What?"

"I need your backpack."

"But, why do y-"

"Just bring it over here!"

She did, setting it down on the bed beside me. I immediately dragged it over onto my chest, unzipped it with shaking hands, and began to dig, frantically, through the jumbled contents within, until I found what I was looking for...

...the two purple socks, one nested inside the other, that I knew were at the bottom.

I pulled them out...

...and her eyebrows shot up.

"S-sam, did you really mean what you said earlier...that I mean more to you than the concert?"

"Of course you do...more than all the concerts they've ever done..or ever will do," she replied, without hesitation.

"So...?"

"Yes, Carls. It's okay. G-go ahead."

I reached inside the socks...

...pulled the Cuttlefish tickets out...

...and held them out to Dr. Anderson.

He took a step back from the bed...

...and frowned.

"No, Carly, I'm afraid I can't."

"Please, I _really _want you to have them!"

He shook his head. "I can't accept those, and, well, I must confess to being slightly insulted, that you think I'm so lacking in professional integrity that I could possibly be bribed...or bought off."

I started to cry. Hard. "This isn't about that! Not at all! I'm so...please...it's not about trying to buy you off! I'm so sorry, about not doing what you told me to before...and for telling you to shut up! That was so incredibly wrong of me...and I'm really, really sorry! So sorry...that I'm even willing to m-miss this concert...which I wanted to see...So Badly! Please...I'll do _anything! _J-just let me go home!"

The nurse walked in and set the fistful of syringes she was carrying onto the tray.

Dr. Anderson thanked, and then dismissed her.

Turning back to me, he asked, flatly, "Do you know why I told her to leave?

"So we'd be evenly matched?"

"No. To give you one more chance. I'm now going to speak to you, one on one, like a mature adult. And I expect the same from you. So, I'm thanking you in advance for your anticipated cooperation in..."

"Please, Doc, just take the tickets!"

"No, Carly. As much as I'd like to...accommodate you...my ethics and professional responsibilities couldn't possibly allow..."

Sam hopped off the bed. "Doc, can I please speak with you, privately, for a moment?'

He hesitated, but then he nodded, and Sam followed him out into the hallway, shutting the door behind them.

I knew that she was speaking loudly for my sake.

I wasn't able to hear every word of the conversation, but here's what I did catch:

"Doc...sure she'll heal...faster...much less stress...in...own bed."

"...sorry...like to release...but can't...allow..."

"...call your office, every...with...update."

"But her...is far worse than...and one more...could mean..."

"...won't leave...unattended..not even for...and...promise, if...tries...out of bed...even once...swear...tell...brother...and between...two of us...drag...ass...back here..._immediately_...I...you...solemn word."

"Do you...any idea...amount...responsibility...going to fall...your shoulders, Sam?"

"I do...and...willing...sacrifice...for as long as..."

It was impossible to misunderstand the next statement.

"And, Believe Me, Dr. Anderson...After All That's Happened...There's No Doubt In My Mind That _She's Totally Learned Her Lesson!"_ (Thanks, Sam, I know that was spoken (loudly) solely for my benefit!)

I didn't catch any part of their last few sentences, but, several minutes later, they both walked back into the room, looking extremely grave. As they approached the bed, Sam climbed back onto it, crawled over to where I lay, and hugged me. Then she pulled back, and looked into my eyes.

"Carls, you know how much you mean to..."

But I didn't want to hear another speech. "I swear I'll do anything, Sam! Anthing! Please bring me home!"

"But, I was just going to..."

"Anything and everything you tell me to! Immediately and without question! I _swear_ it!"

"Carls..."

"PLEASE, SAM!"

Dr. Anderson laid a hand on my arm. "Carly, _if_ it is possible for me to consent to release you, tomorrow morning, do I have your word that you're going to do everything Sam says?"

I turned to face him. "_I swear I will!_"

He looked highly skeptical. "I'm serious, Carly. First of all,_ if _you're released, once you get home, you're not to leave your bed, for any reason _whatsoever_, for the first forty-eight hours."

Oh, no.

"But...but what about..."

"No, Carly, not even to use the bathroom."

Oh. No.

"Y-you mean...I have to use a...a...bedpan?"

He shook his head. "No, actually, lifting your hips for that would cause a strain on your pelv..."

And then...the horrible reality of it dawned on me.

"Oh, God...No! I don't want to wear...Diapers!"

Dr. Anderson looked like he was beginning to have second thoughts, but still he asked, "Do you want to go home?"

"Yes!"

"Then I'm afraid you have no choice."

I don't know which I hated more...

...asking the next question...

...or hearing the answer.

"But...if I have to...to wear...then who's...going to...to..."

"I will, Carls."

"Sam, no! I_ can't_ let you!"

"I have no problem with it."

"But..."

Dr. Anderson broke in. "Carly, home or hospital?"

"Home!"

"Then you need to promise me, right now, that you're going to do everything that Sam tells you to."

"Yes."

"Even wear diapers?"

"Y-yes."

"Without any arguments?""

"Yes."

He bent down and looked directly into my eyes. "Carly? Are you absolutely sure?"

Trembling, I forced myself to look back at him. "Yes...I...I promise...I'll...w-wear...diapers...I promise!"

"Thank you," Sam whispered, sprawling, exhaustedly, back onto the mattress.

He (finally) seemed convinced. "I'll need to examine you again, tomorrow, and your_ possible_ release is entirely contingent upon what I find when I do. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"And you realize that it's going to be just as painful tomorrow as it was today?"

"I don't care!"

"And that you're going to be on a very heavy dose of antibiotics, in addition to your pain medica..."

"I still don't care!"

He nodded. "Well then, get some rest and I'll see you tomorrow morning around..."

I reached up, and, taking hold of his necktie, slowly pulling him forward, and down, toward myself. I tried to slide the tickets I was still holding into his shirt pocket, but he gently moved my hand away from his chest, and straightened back up.

"No, but thank you anyway."

"Please! Just take them!"

"No, Carly. I'll see you tomorrow."

That night I got almost zero sleep, knowing that I was going to have to endure another hellish exam in just a few hours. But the next morning, I tried my hardest to hide my overwhelming fear and exhaustion, because I was so desperate to leave.

And when he did examine me, it took everything I had not to kick him in the face...

...because it hurt every bit as much as it did the day before.

Finally, after what seemed an eternity, it was over.

Dr. Anderson left to wash his hands. Upon returning to the room, he pulled a chair up toward the head of the bed, and sat down; and then he looked at me, with the most serious expression I've ever beheld.

"Carly, right now I need you to give me your absolute and undivided attention."

I did.

He leaned forward. "Now, listen to me; and listen _very carefully_."

I nodded.

"From the minute you leave this hospital bed, Sam is going to be, pardon my French, on your ass like a rash...

"...and she's going to call my office, every single morning, with a very detailed update of your physical condition...

"...as well as comprehensive, in-depth reports, on both your attitude _and _your level of cooperation...

"...and if_ any_ of those three statistics are not to my Complete Satisfaction, in _any _way, shape, or form, you're going to find yourself right back here...

"...immediately...

"...and that's a promise...

"...so if you're even _thinking_ of disobeying her...

"...for even a second...

"...I strongly advise you to reconsider."

I grabbed his arm. "I won't! I mean, I will! I mean, I won...I mean, I swear!"

"All right, then. You can go home. If all goes well, I'll see you in three weeks to remove your stitches."

And, with my hand still gripping his arm, I finally managed to slide the tickets into his pocket.

He tried to lean away from me. "No, Carly...that's not necessary...but thank y-"

"Yes, it_ is_ necessary. It's my way of showing m-my gratitude...for everything," I insisted, as I reached up and laid my hand against his cheek.

He turned my hand over and kissed the back of it...and then he gave it a playful swat.

"Thank you...very much. Now, behave yourself!"

Sam saw me staring wistfully, one last time, at what was sticking out of his pocket...

...and then put her palm against my cheek, and turned me to face her.

"Don't worry. There'll be other concerts," she whispered.

Dr. Anderson left to sign the release papers.

Sam climbed down off the bed, found a clean(!) T-shirt and sweat pants in her backpack, and dressed me.

And, less than an hour later, I was lying in the back of a taxi...

...with my head on her lap...

...with my eyes closed...

...loving the way she was running her hands through my hair.

But, even though she was doing a pretty good job of hiding her feelings, it still was obvious that she was disappointed about the concert.

"Sam?"

She looked down at me. "Yeah?"

"I'm really sorry about the tickets. I know how much you were looking forw..."

She pressed her finger against my lips. "Shh. Only one thing is important right now. We're going home."

I held out my arms.

All too soon, Sam straightened back up and spoke to the cab driver, and we stopped at the nearest pharmacy...

...so she could get my prescriptions...

...and the, uh, other stuff...

...and, ten minutes later, I cringed when I saw the huge bag she was carrying, as she left the store...

...because I knew what was inside it.

She climbed back in, and I settled my head, gratefully, back onto her lap.

As the cab pulled out of the parking lot, I heard her say, "I, uh, got everything, okay?"

"Yes, but I'm surprised that they even let you in...wearing pajamas...and with no shoes."

"This is Seattle," she answered with a shrug. "I was still way better dressed than most of the hobos who shop...or should I say shop-_lift_...there."

"Good point."

Spencer wasn't home when we arrived, but Sam had called and told him we were coming, so there was chicken Marengo (no olives) in the fridge...

...but what I really wanted first was a long nap. I told Sam, and she immediately undressed me, and got me into bed.

When I woke up, almost five hours later, I was, as usual, stiff from sleeping on my back, but still, I felt fairly-well rested.

I knew, then, that I should talk to her...

...but I put it off.

She brought a tray of food upstairs, for both of us, and during dinner, I contemplated talking to her again, because I really needed to...

...but, still, I put it off.

Oh, and for the record: Trying to eat_ anything,_ while lying down, totally sucks.

After she'd fed me, and had finished her own entree and dessert...

...I realized that it couldn't wait any longer...

...I absolutely had to tell her.

Right Now.

"Sam?"

She looked up from her empty ice cream bowl. "Yeah?"

"I...I have to...pee."

"Okay."

"Sam...please...just let me...uh..."

"No!"

"Sam, _please_!"

"No, Carls! _You Promised_!"

"But, I can't...uh...you know..._I can't!"_

Setting her bowl on the nightstand, she crawled across the bed and leaned directly over me. "Carly Shay, after all that we had to go through to bring you home; you _Are Not _going back on your word!"

"But, Sam..."

"You are_ not_ getting up."

"But..."

"For any reason."

"But..."

"No matter how hard you beg me to let you."

"But, Sam...I don't want to have to..."

She sighed. "I don't know why you're lying there, fighting it, because it's not going to go away."

"But..."

"Carls, we've been home for almost seven hours...and I know that you have to...so just...go ahead."

"I can't do this!"

"Hey, your part is easier than mine!"

I grabbed her arm. "I'm sorry! I feel so bad about you having to...to..."

"I was just kidding. It's no big deal."

"Really? When's the last time you had to clean up pee?"

I watched as her cheeks suddenly turned bright red. "Well, about six months ago, just out of curiosity, I tried to pee while standing up...and, uh...it wasn't a great success."

"You're kidding!"

"Unfortunately I'm not."

"What happened?"

"Let's just say that aim is an acquired skill."

"Sam, I still can't."

She stood up, then put her palms flat against the mattress, and leaned over, until her face was only inches from mine. "You don't have a choice. Since I'm absolutely _not_ letting you get up...you have to accept the fact that it's _definitely_ going to happen - sooner or later - because we both know that you can't hold it in forever."

"But..."

"So it's best to just get it over with. You'll feel a lot better."

"But..."

"Carls, listen to me. Do you want to end up back at the...

My blood immediately turned to ice in my veins. "NO!"

"...because, if you're going continue to be uncooperative, I'll have absolutely no problem ratting you out on this."

"No, Sam...not that! I don't want to go back there! Please Don't Tell Him!"

"Then you know what you have to do."

"But..."

She straightened back up. "Look, I'm going to leave the room now."

"But..."

"Take your time. I'll be waiting in the hallway. For as long as necessary."

"But..."

"I promise I won't come in until you call me...okay?"

"Sam, no! I can't!"

"Carls, you have to."

She turned and left.

I tried to sit up, but was in way too much pain to try to sneak down the hall to the bathroom, and, even if I was able to get out of bed...I didn't see any way of getting past her.

So, as much as I hated the idea...

...and as long - and hard - as I wracked my brains...

...I didn't see any alternative.

With a long sigh of utter humiliation, I put my hands over my eyes.

Oh, God, I can't believe what I'm about to do!

I closed my eyes...

...and took a deep breath...

...and tried...

...but it didn't happen.

So, I tried again...

...several more times...

...even pushing...

...hard...

...which hurt...

.._.like you would not believe_...

...but, still, I couldn't.

Oh, My God! Something's wrong!

What am I gonna do? If I tell Sam, she'll probably take me right back to the ER! But, if I don't tell her...I'll eventually...explode!

I thought it over...

...long and hard...

...and_ very_ carefully...

...from _all_ angles...

...and, finally, heart sinking...

...I realized that there was _only one_ _solution _to the problem.

Why me, Lord?

"Sam!"

"Yeah?"

"I...need you!"

"So, can I come in then?"

"Y-yes."

She walked into the room, over to the bed, and smiled reassuringly at me, as she pulled down the covers. "Don't worry, this will only take a few min-"

As she reached down to lift my nightshirt, I grabbed her wrist.

"Sam, I can't!"

"Sure you can. The hard part's over. So just relax and let me take care of you."

"You don't understand. I can't!"

"Well, if you're _that_ embarrassed, then just close your eyes and try to think about something else." She gently pulled my hand off hers.

"No! It's not that I'm embar...well, actually, I_ really_ am...but...it's just that...I can't...pee! I tried to, but I can't!"

She shook her head. "I know that you can, if you try. It's all psychological."

"I_ did_ try! Over and over!"

"Well, then, I'm going to leave...and you can try again."

"No, I think...that...I can't do it...while I'm lying down. I swear I've tried...but I can't!"

"Oh."

"Will you put some pillows behind me? So I can sit up a little?"

"Sure I...oh, wait. I almost forgot something."

She got up, then went into the bathroom and brought back a large bath towel. She folded it twice, sat back down on the edge of the bed, and then carefully slid it under me. Then she leaned over me and pushed my nightshirt up around my waist, and, as I saw her looking down at my diaper...

…I started to cry.

She put her arms around me. "Shh. You are so loved, Carls."

"I love you too...so much! So please...just let..."

She pulled away. "No, Carls. I'm sorry."

"Sam, _Please!"_

I felt her hand under my chin, and she gently lifted my eyes to hers.

"Look at me. This is okay. I promise."

"Sam, I can't do it!"

"It's not good to try to hold it back."

"I'm not! I_ have to_ now..._so badly_!"

"Are you sure you really tried to?"

"Yes! I even tried pushing it out...but I can't...it hurts! Maybe...if I can sit up a little..."

She was silent for a moment. "Carls, I was just thinking..."

"What?"

"Uh, would you like me to...to hold you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Would you like me to hold you...while you...go?"

"But, Sam..."

"It'll probably make things easier for you...and I don't mind...honest." Without waiting for an answer, she put her arms around me, and slowly pulled me up, halfway, to a seated position. "Is that better?"

I couldn't look at her. "Yes...I...I...think so."

"There's no hurry. Just take your time, and release all of it. Let me know when you're done."

"I can't! Not all of it! What if I..._you know_..."

She glanced down, and then back up at me. "It'll be okay That...uh...thing...is industrial-strength. I know, because it's exactly the same kind I got at the pharmacy, and I made sure I that bought the big-...uh...anyway...there's a towel under you...so don't worry."

"But...I...it won't..."

Her right hand moved downward, and she began to slowly rub my lower back. "Shh, just let it come out. It will if you relax."

"Sam, I swear I'm trying!"

She pulled me closer, and I rested my chin on her shoulder.

"You're just nervous...and you're trying too hard."

"Sam, I'm scared! I...I think something's wrong with me!"

"Shh, just listen to me. Close your eyes."

"O-okay. They are."

Her hand was still caressing my lower back, and I heard her soft voice next to my ear.

"Carls, I want you to visualize that you're in the bathroom right now...

"...and that you're sitting down in there, instead of here...okay?"

"Y-yes."

I felt her hand slide down between my legs, and she gently began to push them apart.

I let her.

"Can you lean forward a little more? That's it. Just think about it...you're in the bathroom right now.

"And you really have to pee. And you're so glad that you made it in here, just in time. You were so scared that you weren't going to make it...

"...but you did...

"...and you're so relieved...

"...because you have to go...

"...so badly. You can't hold it in any longer...

"...and you realize that...

"...no matter what you do...

"...it's going to come out...

"...right now.

"All of it.

"And there's nothing you can do to stop it. And you're glad...

"...because you really want to...

"...and you know that it's impossible to hold it in any longer.

"So you're not even going to try. And you can't wait for it to come out...

"...because you know that when it does...

"...it's going to feel _so_ good...

"...and you know that afterward you're going to feel _so_ much better.

"So, you take a deep breath...

"...and then, as soon as you breathe out...

"...you feel your entire body relax...

"...and it comes out...

"...without you even trying...

"...all by itself.

"All of it."

I buried my face in her neck...

...and, as I breathed out...

...I felt myself relax...

...completely.

As I did, I was aware of her hand moving down, between my legs, and gently pressing against the outside of my diaper...and I knew that she could feel what was beginning to happen.

"That's it, Carls..."

It started gradually, as a series of slow, tentative dribbles, but then, a few seconds later, without any warning, it suddenly began to gush out, and, as it did, I was very aware of the rapidly-spreading warmth between my legs.

And I could tell that she was, too.

"That's it. Keep going. Good girl."

"Oh, God, Sam!"

"Shh, don't say anything. It feels good."

"But..."

"Shh, it feels really good. You know that it does."

It did.

She felt my arms tighten around her.

"No, don't. Just stay relaxed. It'll come out much more easily if you do.

It seemed to go on forever, and I was so scared that I was going to leak onto Sam's hand, which was still cupped between my legs, but, Thank God, I didn't...

...although, when I (finally) did finish, my diaper was completely soaked.

But she was right.

What a relief.

But I absolutely _hated_ knowing what was going to happen next.

"Sam, I'm, uh...done."

She moved her hand away, and then slowly lowered me back onto the bed.

"Feeling better, Cupcake?"

"Feeling extremely embarrassed."

"Don't be. You did great. Everything is okay now."

"No it's not. Sam, I'm...really, uh...you know...wet."

She leaned down and kissed my forehead. "I know that you are. And it's okay."

"No, I don't think you understand what I mean. _I'm...Really-!_"

"And I'm glad. Better out than in, remember? Now just relax. I'll be right back."

She left the room.

Oh, and for the record: It's impossible to relax while you're trying to decide which is worse: Lying in a huge puddle of your own urine - _or_ - knowing that you're about to 'share it' with your best friend...who also happens to be the love of your life.

I never did come up with the answer to that one, because, a couple of minutes later, she came back from the bathroom and sat down on the edge of the bed.

And when I saw what she was holding...

...I put my hands over my face.

I heard her exaggerated sigh. "Carls, that's not necessary."

"That's easy for you to say!"

She gently moved my hands away. "Shh, Carls, do you know that some people actually, uh, enjoy this?"

"What!"

"Yes, they think it's fun to be a baby...and to let someone take care of them...and to be free from having any responsibilities."

Unbelievable.

"But, Sam...then you'd also have...someone bossing you around all the time. Where's the fun in that? And...you know that I _hate_ wearing pads...and these things are a...a hundred times worse!"

She laughed.

"It's not funny!"

"Come on, no one's ever going to know about this, not even Spencer...I promise."

"Oh, God, Sam...swear you won't tell him! Swear it!"

"I swear I won't. So just relax."

"I can't...because everything about this absolutely sucks!"

Then her smile disappeared, and she looked at me seriously.

"Carls, do you remember, a few short months ago, when you told me that talking openly and honestly about embarrassing subjects makes them a lot less embarrassing?'

"Uh, yes."

"Well, then, let's talk about this."

I felt my cheeks ignite. "No!"

"Come on."

"No, Sam!"

"Come on, Carls...it's only hard at first...remember?"

"But...but..."

"Are you ready?"

Sigh. "Yes."

So, as she carefully removed my diaper, and, to my complete mortification, looked inside it, I asked, "Sam...am I...bleeding much?"

"Uh...yes."

"Oh, God!"

"But it's mostly from your period, remember?"

"Oh great...one more reason to feel crummy!"

She rolled her eyes. "You're so theatrical! Listen to me, Dr. Anderson said that your system is cleaning itself out, _properly, _for the first time in ages. So as bizarre as this sounds, try to be thankful."

"How can I be thankful? Even without the pee...it's...like a swamp down there! All the time!"

"Shh, just relax. This is going to feel nice."

I couldn't see what she was holding. "What is? Oh."

And the warmth of the washcloth actually did.

"Sam, that feels..."

"Not so bad?"

"Uh...better than not so bad, actually."

Then I felt her drying me gently with a towel, as she advised, "Keep talking, Carls."

"No!"

"Carls..."

"Okay, okay! Do I...uh, have...any, uh...diaper rash?"

"No. And you're not going to either." She held up a box of cornstarch for me to see, and then sprinkled it between my legs, and carefully rubbed it into my skin.

Wow.

"Sam...I...actually...it feels..."

She smiled. "See, it's not so bad...not any of it...not at all."

"Yes it is!"

She shook her head in exasperation.

"Uh, Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"When I was...peeing, why did you...you know...leave your hand there...the whole time?"

"Because I wanted to show you that I don't have any problem with it...because I don't want you to think I'm grossed out by it...because I love you."

"Oh, Sam! I...I...(sniff)...I..."

"Shh...it's okay. I know that you do."

"I do, Sam...So Much!"

"I could never get tired of hearing that. So, what would you like me to do next?"

"No; don't make me say it!"

"Come on, Carls, give it your best shot!"

"But..."

"Carls!"

"Okay. Will you please...put a...a...clean diaper on me?"

"Sure."

She did, and then she bent down and gave me a very long hug. Pulling back, she asked, "Do you feel any better?"

"Physically...yes. Psychologically...NO! This is still completely embarrassing! And it always will be...no matter how much we talk about it!"

She sighed. "Well, it was worth a shot."

After she'd pulled my nightshirt back down, and my covers back up, I watched as she picked up everything and took it back out of the bedroom...which I appreciated, since it's bad enough to wear one of these awful things, without having to look at it, and all the related paraphernalia, too.

A few minutes later she came back, and I looked up to see her standing beside the bed and looking down at me, with a puzzled expression.

"Watcha thinking about, Cupcake?"

"Nothing."

"Come on. Whatever it is, you can tell me; so what is it?"

"Well, okay. Did you wash your hands with antibacterial soap, and dry them with a clean towel?"

"No! I spit-shined them, and used a filthy sock from the hamper!"

I reached over and smacked her butt.

And, laughing, she fell down beside me.

XXXXX

"Sam?"

"NOTASLEEPWHATDOYOUNEED!"

"I'm sorry. I know it's only seven a.m., but I _really_ have to pee."

"Okay."

"So bad!"

"It's okay." She sat up groggily. "Now, put your arms around my neck."

"Oh, God, Sam...it hurts!"

I saw her reaching for a towel. "Don't worry. You'll feel better in just a few minutes." She slid the towel under me, pushed up my nightshirt, and then lifted me up.

"Ow!"

"I'm sorry, Kid. Just another couple of minutes, and then you'll feel so much bet..."

I let her open my legs.

"Close your eyes."

I did. "Please! Hurry!"

She pulled me close. "Are you ready? She didn't wait for an answer. Carls, I want you to visualize that you're in the bathr..."

"OH YES! OH THANK GOD!"

I felt her body stiffen, as she asked, with concern, "Are you okay?"

And then, as the floodgates opened and the pent-up tidal wave began to gush out, I felt her hand between my legs again...and felt her smile against my cheek.

"Sam..."

"Shh."

Less than a minute later, she lowered me back onto the bed, and looked down at me, with eyebrows raised. "Well, that didn't take long, for the world's formerly most pee-shy girl."

"I'm sorry to have woken you up so abruptly. When I have to go...everything hurts."

"Then you shouldn't have waited so long to tell me."

"I didn't wait! I woke up to it!"

"Oh. I'm sorry. Now just relax."

She soon came back from the bathroom, and sat down next to me on the bed.

"Oh, God, Sam! I hate this part!"

"No you don't...not all of it."

"Well...okay...but _most of it_!"

"It's only for one more day, okay? And then you and I are both going to forget that all of this even happened."

"Really?"

She bent down and hugged me. "Yes. Both of us. Forever. I promise."

I wrapped my arms around her back. "I'm sorry."

She sat back up. "Sorry for what?"

"That...you think all of this is so horrible that you need to block it out of your mind forev..."

She shook her head. "Not forgetting for my own sake...for yours...okay?"

"Thank you."

"Oh, and by the way, Carls..."

"Yes?"

"I brought...cornstarch!"

And, with a smile, I could feel myself blushing...

...as I closed my eyes...

...and she reached down...

XXXXX

"Happy Saturday, Kid!"

I opened my eyes to see her, propped up on her elbow, leaning over me. "W-what time is it, Sam?"

"Nine am."

"Oh, my God, is everything...okay?"

She groped around under the covers until she found my hand. "Yes, everything's fine. Why wouldn't it be?"

"Then what possessed_ you_ to get up at such an ungodly - for you - hour? No it can't be...I must be hallucinating!"

"Well," she yawned, "to answer your question...a couple of things, actually."

"Like what?"

"Well, for starters, I don't like you having to pee so badly that it hurts. So, since that usually seems to occur after seven hours, I woke you up after only five and a half."

"Oh, well, that was...thoughtful of you...I guess."

"Also, don't forget, Carls...it's Day Three! So today you can actually use the bathroom! And get wheeled down to the kitchen and sit - and eat - in a real chair! And, afterward, if you're not hurting too badly, we can hang out on the couch and watch Girly Cow..."

I withdrew my hand from hers. "Uh, no thanks...to any of that, Sam. I think I'll just...stay here."

"Oh my God, Carls, are you feeling worse?" She jolted upright, and, wild-eyed, started scanning the room. "Where's my phone?"

"No! I'm not feeling worse...honest! So you don't have to call the..."

"I don't understand; you hate being confined to bed."

I took her hand again...

...and took a deep breath...

...as I decided...

...that it's (finally) time to start acting like a grown-up.

"Sam, it's just, well, I want to get out of this bed...so badly! But...but I want to get better...even more!

"So I promise that I'm not going to argue with you anymore...about anything!

"And, please tell me exactly what to do...because, from now on, I'm going to do everything you say. Everything! I promise! No matter what it is! Even if...even if...you tell me that I can't get up to use the bathroom...and that I still have to wear diapers...which you know I hate!

"Because, m-more than anything...I...I...just want to get well now...okay? Please?"

And she suddenly jumped off the bed...

...and turned her back to me.

"Sam?"

"There's...(sniff)...something in my eye."

I reached up and hooked my fingers into the top of her shorts, and pulled her back onto the bed.

I turned her around to face me and dabbed at her eyes with my sleeve.

"Is it...gone now?"

"Uh, yeah. Anyway, it's been forty-eight hours, so I think it's alright for you to use the bathroom. Do you feel up to it?"

"Yes."

She brought the wheelchair over to the bed and helped me into it. She stopped at my dresser, for a moment, before wheeling me into the bathroom...

...and, when we got there, I was thrilled to see what she set down on the sink.

"Yay, big girl panties!"

"Arrgh!"

"Sam, what's wrong?" I asked innocently.

"You know I hate that word! So why do you keep saying it?"

"To see the look on your face."

"Carly Shay, you're unspeakably cruel! But anyway, was getting out of bed painful for you?"

"No, hardly at all."

"Well then...I think we can ditch the diapers."

So, she took it off me (Thank God(!), and then looked inside it (Oh, God(!)

"Damn it, Sam...why do you have to look..._Every Single Time_?"

"Because I promised the doctor that I would. Besides, you're still bleeding almost as much as you were on the day I brought you home."

"Speaking of the doctor, Sam...from now on, can I please listen in while you talk to him?"

"No."

"Why not? It's _me_ that you're talking about!"

"Sorry, Carls. So, what do you want for breakfast?"

Sigh. "The usual."

She helped me finish up in the bathroom, and carefully put me back into bed. Then I watched, infuriated, as she unplugged her phone from the recharger, shoved it into her back pocket, and then headed toward the bedroom door.

"How can you even call him today? It's Saturday!"

"He, uh, gave me his home number."

"What! Come on, Sam...just call him here...in the bedroom!"

"I'll be right back with breakfast," she called over her shoulder.

After I'd been lying there for about ten minutes, fuming inwardly, while she and Dr. Anderson talked about me behind my back, I suddenly heard raised voices coming from downstairs.

Sam's and Spencer's? What could they possibly be fighting about?

I had my answer in less than two minutes.

Sam came into the room with the breakfast tray, set aside the glass of Peppy Cola (for her) and the glass of milk (for me), and then dumped the fourteen packages of Fat Cakes onto the bed beside me.

"Here, you get first pick; but save me at least two raspberry ones!"

"What was all that ruckus about, downstairs?"

"Well, Spencer kept trying to slam a box of Fiber Nuts cereal onto the tray, but, fortunately, I managed to keep dodging him."

"He did? Why?"

"He said this is the third day in a row that we've had Fat Cakes for breakfast, instead of something nutritious."

I flung an arm protectively across the pile. "But,_ these_ are _all _that I've been in the mood for! For the past three days!"

"I told him that...but he said the two of us can't live on junk food...and he also said that it's not like_ you_ to eat junk in the morning. _Ever._"

"Yeah? Well you can tell Spencer that I hate being in this bed! So he can indulge me this...since food is now the only pleasure that I have lef-..."

Then I saw the hurt look in her eyes.

Oh, God.

I reached up, grabbed a fistful of T-shirt, and yanked her down next to me. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean that! The pleasure of your company means more to me than all the Fat Cakes in the..."

And she smiled. "Your breakfast is getting cold."

"?"

"Just joking."

"So, uh...what did you and Dr. Anderson discuss toda-"

"Your breakfast is getting cold."

Scowling, I hurled a package of Fat Cakes at her chest, and laughed as she (exaggeratedly) flailed, and then fell backward...

...Kelly Cooper-style...

...off the bed.

After we'd finished eating, she cleared away. When she came back upstairs, I watched her, as she stood by the bed...

...looking down at me...

...silently...

...for what seemed forever.

"What is it, Sam?"

"Carls, I'm going to tell you part of what the doctor and I discussed today."

"That's so unfair! Why can't you tell me everything?"

She sighed. "Because then you'd expect me to,_ every day_."

"And what's wrong with that!"

Her eyebrows shot up. "Attitude, Shay."

Oops.

"I...I'm sorry! I mean, what's wrong with that, my darling Sam?"

Pretending not to hear me, she glanced out the window. "Uh, strange weather we've been having lately; don't you agree?"

"Don't change the subject! For the thirty-seventh time, what's wrong with..."

"Carls...half a pie is better than no pie."

"Okay, Okay! Just tell me _part_ of your friggin' conversation!"

She took a deep breath. "Well, Dr. A. applauds your willingness to (finally) take responsibility for your recovery, and your decision to stay in bed. Anyway, after I described your bleeding to him...

"Oh, God, Sam!"

"...in detail...

"Shit!"

"...and described your level of pain, he said it's okay for you to get up, with my help, to use the bathroom and to take a shower...but that's it for now."

Even though I'd just promised Sam that I'd stay in bed, my heart still sank. "That's all?"

"Yeah. I thought he'd be okay with you going around the house in your chair, but he said that you'll probably heal faster if you stay in bed."

I sighed.

"I know. So, anyway...would you like to take a shower?"

"Yes."

Once she had me undressed, and on the shower bench, I felt somewhat better; with the shower spray (and Sam's soapy hands) on me.

"Uh, Carls...do you think you can stand up for a couple of minutes, if you're holding on to me?"

"Yes."

She started to get into the tub, but I stopped her. "Come on, Sam, it's absolutely okay for you to get undressed."

She shook her head.

"Well...at least take off your shirt!"

"Shh. Not today."

Suddenly, she sat back down on the edge of the tub, and carefully turned me around to face her.

"Carls, before you stand up...we need to have a little chat."

I averted my eyes. "Yeah. I know."

"Carls, we can't...you know...not like last time."

"But, Sam, last time we didn't even finish..."

"I know. Still, we can't, at all, not now, because your condition is..so much worse."

"_I know."_

She sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Me too. Especially since it feels so good when you're...and when I start to get..."

"_I know." _She climbed into the tub and helped me stand up. And, as she slid her hand between my legs...

...my aching desire for her exploded, and consumed me, once again.

I immediately buried my face in her shoulder, trying to hide it.

"Carls, did I...miss...any...thing?"

"Can you...uh...maybe...uh...wash up toward the front a little more? Oh...right there...uh...no..."

"Th-there?"

"No...over on my left...your right...Oh, God! Yes! Right there!"

"You're sure this is, uh, the right spot?"

"Yes...ah...yes...oh...Sam!"

"Are you okay?"

"V-very okay. S-_oh very okay!"_

"Carls...should...I...do you think you're...clean enough...yet?"

"No...not yet...I still don't think I'm...oh..."

"You're...uh...probably right..."

"S_oh_...please...d_oh_n't...st_ah_p."

"Okay...but...oh, Carls...we have to!"

"I kn...oh. But I really wish you wouldn't!"

"Me too...but I have to. But, then again, you've been _such_ a good girl, Carls...with what you promised me earlier..."

"I kn...ohhh..."

"...so you deserve some kind of reward."

"I kn...ohhh I doooo!"

She pulled back and looked into my eyes. "But you realize that...I...we...can't, uh, finish this."

"I know...and I promise that I'll tell you to stop...way before I'm about to...I promise! Please! Just for a little while longer!"

She sighed. "Just for another minute."

"Two minutes."

"Carls...we can't!"

"Please!"

"How about a...a minute and a half?"

I nodded.

She pulled me closer.

"Oh...Sam...we...need t...oooo...stop."

"But, Carls...it's been less than...half a..."

"I...kn.._oh_...but we...we...oh..."

"I know we do." She stopped. "I'm so sorry."

"I know. So am I. Uh, Sam...can I wash you, now?"

"No."

"Please? I'd really like to! And I promise that I won't...you know..._try anything_."

"No, Carls, I'm sorry."

"Please?"

"No."

"Well...how about if I just...wash all the places that are...PG rated?"

"No."

"G rated?"

"No, Carls. I...don't want..."

"Why? Why won't you let me?"

No answer.

"Sam, do you...have your period? Because I have absolutely no problem touching you if that's the reas..."

Staring at our feet, she shook her head.

"Then...what is it?"

She shrugged.

I lifted her chin and tried to look into her eyes, but she turned her head away.

Oh no.

Something definitely was wrong.

Very wrong.

"Sam, talk to me!"

"I...just don't."

"Can you at least tell me why?"

No answer.

"Please, Sam? Please, just tell me _why_!"

"Maybe...some other time."

I was_ so_ hurt, and _so _confused. Why was she acting like this? "Come on, Sam...it's so unfair!"

"It's time to put you back to bed."

She did, then returned to the bathroom to take a shower...alone. Lying there, equally disappointed and pissed-off, I made up my mind, right then, that I wasn't going to talk to her or even look at her...

...for at least the rest of the afternoon.

So I didn't.

After stoically enduring about an hour of 'the silent treatment', she rolled onto her side, and looked across the bed at me. "Carls?"

Silence.

"Hey? Carls?"

Silence.

She shrugged. "Okay, then, I won't bother telling you what the doctor said about..." Her voice trailed off.

Shit.

"What, Sam? What did he say about...what?"

"No. Never mind."

"Tell me!"

"No. You keep your silence, and I'll keep mine."

"I'm soooooooooo sorry! Please tell me!"

"Nap time, Kid."

"Sam?"

Silence.

A few hours later, after we woke up, Sam disappeared downstairs and returned shortly with two plates of stir-fried beef and broccoli for dinner.

"Oh, look, Sam...something nutritious!" I said, loudly.

"I heard that!" Spencer yelled up the stairs.

I was silent while we ate, trying to figure out a way to get Sam to open up, both about what Dr. Anderson had told her earlier, and about her reluctance to talk to me, to let me wash her, or to just be naked with her...

...because not knowing _why_ was driving me _Absolutely Crazy._

Even though dessert was chocolate cupcakes (my favorite), I ended the meal incredibly upset...from being in this bed...from not being able to be intimate with Sam...and from not knowing the reason(s) why she was acting so un-affectionate, secretive, and distant.

About fifteen minutes later, unable to come up with a single possible answer, I began banging my head, in utter frustration, as hard as I could, back against the pillow.

She looked over at me, alarmed. "Stop that!"

"I'm sorry...but lying here is torture! I'm insanely bored! I can't sleep on my back! We don't even cuddle anymore, because you're so afraid of squishing me!"

"Look, Carls, I know how hard this is for you."

I nodded, not saying anything, holding my breath...hoping she'd finally open up a little.

But she didn't.

"So, would you like me to run across the street, to the newsstand, and get you some magazines?"

"No."

"Well, then, how about some more cupcakes?"

"No, thanks."

Then, lowering both her head and her eyes, she leaned back against my headboard, pulled her knees up under her chin, and sat there, with her arms wrapped around her legs, deep in thought.

After several minutes of complete silence, insane curiosity finally got the better of me. "What are you thinking about?"

She shook her head.

"Please, Sam?"

She blinked several times.

And then bit her lower lip.

And, a minute later, she was looking over at me...

...with the most unusual expression I've ever seen on her face.

"Carls?"

"Yes?"

"I know what you need."

A/N: Reviews = Inspiration = Frequent updates for you!

P.S.: Jesse W.: Your email address didn't show up in your review (the site blocked it). Feel free to contact me via my email link, located on the upper-left corner of my profile page...and I'll respond.


	7. Chapter 7

I continued to look at her, expectantly, but instead of answering...

...she slowly moved across the bed...

...and then...

...with a warm smile...

...she leaned over me.

Moments later, I saw her hands move downward, and felt them pulling the covers off my body.

"Sam?"

"Lift up your hips," she whispered.

I did.

And she pushed my nightshirt up.

"Now, raise your arms."

I did.

And she pulled my nightshirt off.

"Uh, Sam...what are you doing?"

"You'll see."

And then, sliding one of her hands under my backside, and the other under my shoulder...

...she carefully turned me over onto my front.

"Sam! You know I'm not supposed to lie on my stom-"

"Shh...it's okay. It's only for a few minutes. Lift your head up for me."

I did.

She took my pillow and moved it downward, positioning it under my chest. Then she reached for her own pillow and, with some difficulty, managed to slide it beneath my upper thighs.

"There. Do you feel any pressure on your stomach right now?"

"No, but what are we-"

Without answering, she took hold of my wrists, and gently extended my arms above my head.

"Sam?"

"Close your eyes."

I did.

Kneeling next to me, she pushed my hair aside.

And then...

...as I felt her hands resting on my shoulders...

...I knew what she had in mind.

Her hands molded themselves, with precise accuracy, to the contours of my body, and then she slowly and deliberately began caressing me; sliding her palms up my arms, all the way to the backs of my hands, and then down again.

And it felt wonderful.

I attempted to convey my gratitude via a sigh, as she worked her way up and down my arms and back; stopping occasionally to press her fingertips into specific areas at the tops of my shoulders, and around my neck.

Somehow she instinctively knew exactly where all the tight spots were, and exactly how to un-knot them; and, as I gradually and gratefully sank, deeper and deeper, into the pillows that were under me, I blissfully felt an enormous amount of accumulated stress starting to drain away.

"Oh, Sam...that feels...amazing!"

She didn't answer.

As she continued, I noticed that she was being especially careful every time she reached my lower back, using far less pressure there; not wanting to push my stomach into the mattress.

All too soon her hands slowed to a stop, coming to rest back up on my shoulders.

"Thank you, Sam. I feel so much bet-"

She leaned down and whispered, "Carls, who said I was finished?"

And then her hands were gone, and I felt her turning around on the mattress.

Looking back over my shoulder, I saw her facing in the opposite direction...

...and, seconds later, much to my surprise, I felt her hands sliding down inside the back of my panties.

"What are you doing, S-?"

"Shh. Lie back down for me."

I rested my chin back on the mattress, and trustingly closed my eyes again...

...and I gasped softly as she slowly began to caress my butt; in broad strokes, in all directions, with both palms.

Oh. God. Yes.

Finally, she spoke. "Is this okay?"

"V-very okay."

And then, just as I thought that she couldn't possibly make me feel any better then I already did...

...she lifted her palms...

...and her fingers moved downward...

...and I felt her fingertips press deeply into the creases where my butt ends and my thighs begin...

...and then she began to rapidly jiggle her fingers (and as a result, my butt cheeks) up and down.

"Ha! Sam, that tickles! What are you doing to-"

And then...

...I felt my backside suddenly and completely relax.

Sigh.

She turned around and crawled up toward the pillow. Resting her head next to mine, she whispered, "Most people don't realize that they carry an incredible amount of stress in their butts. Yours is gone now, isn't it?"

"Yes. Completely. That was incredible!"

She moved forward and kissed my forehead. "Glad you liked it."

And, seconds later, she moved away...

...and sat back up...

...and then...

...her hands were back inside my panties.

I sighed again as she resumed caressing my rear end. It felt better than wonderful.

"I wish you'd do that all day. Every day."

She gave me a playful little whack on both butt cheeks. "Yeah, well, don't get your hopes up. I don't want you on your stomach for too long."

And then her hands were on the backs of my legs, alternately rubbing and kneading, expertly, slowly, and methodically; from the tops of my thighs, all the way down to my ankles.

And then, she stopped.

Oh well. I guess all wonderful things must eventually come to an end.

After carefully turning me over onto my back, she slid the pillow back under my head; and I looked up to see her smiling down at me.

"Thanks, Sam, I really enjoyed tha-"

Her finger gently pressed against my lips, silencing me.

And then she moved my arms above my head again.

It can't be...could she...possibly? Shaking with hopeful anticipation, I closed my eyes.

For at least a minute nothing happened, and I began to think that I had been mistaken. But then, suddenly, she pressed her palms flat against mine.

Oh, God, oh please, _oh please_! I begged silently.

And then, as I lay there, breathless...

...her hands slid off mine...

...and began to move along my arms...

...over my shoulders...

...and onto my chest...

...and I squirmed under them with delight...

...as I tried (over and over) to resist the urge to moan every single time they stroked, softly, down my breasts...

...and back up again.

I'd never had a real massage before, and even though I know for a fact that she wasn't trying to seduce me...

...as I felt (and watched) her her hands sliding up and down my upper body...

...I began to feel incredibly aroused.

I was well aware that I wasn't supposed to.

So I tried hard to fight it.

But it was impossible.

Yet, I was so afraid that...if she realized what was happening...what she was unknowingly doing to me...that she'd stop.

And that would be horrible.

I took a deep breath (easier said than done, considering what her hands were doing to my body...and my head).

I have to get my feelings, both emotional and physical, under control.

Right Now.

I sneaked a look at her face. Her eyes were closed, as her hands moved over me, rhythmically, almost like a meditation. And while I wondered what she could be thinking...

...I focused hard on calming my body's reactions to her touch.

But I couldn't.

I tried harder.

Then harder still.

Until every muscle in my body became incredibly rigid and tight.

She felt it.

And, hands still moving, she opened her eyes and leaned over me. "Are you okay?"

"Y-yes."

She looked at me more closely, and with concern. "Are you sure?"

"I...I..."

Without stopping, she leaned over and pressed her lips against my forehead. Sitting back up, she looked down and said, "Carls, just try to relax. That's what this is for."

And then, my body involuntarily started to shake, from immense effort, and from intense fear. "Sam!"

She flinched in surprise, but her hands continued to move over my arms and chest. "Carls? What's wrong?"

"I...I..."

"Whatever it is, please tell me."

"Sam...I'm so scared!"

"Scared...that I'm going to...to touch you..._there_?"

"No! S-scared that you're...going to stop what you're doing."

She looked confused. "Why would I stop?"

"J-just don't, okay?"

And she smiled down at me. "I won't stop. I promise."

"Thank you. Because I'm having s-such a good ti-"

"I know, Cupcake. So am I."

And then...

...she stopped anyway.

Oh no!

But then I realized why...

...when, much to my relief, she leaned down...

...and pulled me up against her in a warm, reassuring hug.

I wrapped my arms around her back, and put my head on her shoulder. "Sam."

Her warm breath was on my neck as she nuzzled against it. "Shh. Don't worry...we're going to continue. I'm glad you're enjoying this."

Without lifting my head I nodded; and I know she heard me sigh as her hands began sliding up and down my back.

After a minute or two, my shaking subsided, and I felt myself going limp in her arms.

She felt it too. "Good girl. Are you feeling better?"

"Yes."

Her lips pressed against my neck for a moment. "I'm going to finish now, okay?"

I nodded again; and she carefully lowered me back onto the bed.

"Just relax," she whispered. "Now close your eyes."

As I did, I felt her pushing the front of my panties down, as far as they would go.

And then I held back a gasp, as I felt her hands coming to rest on my stomach...

...and then ever-so-gently caressing it.

I opened my eyes again, and saw her face near mine; and I knew that she was watching closely, to make sure she wasn't hurting me.

I smiled reassuringly.

She looked back at me with obvious relief; and then sitting upright, she turned her full attention to what she was doing.

Even though she was touching me carefully, I knew that she wasn't going to spend much time on that area, since it was so close to my injury; so I really wasn't surprised when she pulled the front of my panties back up, and moved farther down the bed.

And then her hands were on my knees, and I knew what she wanted.

I opened my legs.

She wrapped both her hands around my left thigh and, leaning forward, she slid them all the way up to the top, and then all the way back down to my knee; while I lay there, once again fighting - and quickly losing - the battle against my arousal.

And, as bizarre as this sounds, every time her hands reached the top of my thigh, I swear I could feel my heart beating inside my vagina.

A few minutes later she switched over to my right thigh, while I realized, to my amazement, that it's entirely possible to feel both completely relaxed and incredibly excited at the same time.

As I lay there, marveling at Sam's talent, and resolving to return the favor one day in the very-near future, she moved backward and then began to work on both of my calves; before taking first my left, then my right foot between her hands.

I hadn't walked at all for almost a week, so my feet actually ached when she began to work on them.

But not for long.

After she'd finished with my feet, I had the overwhelming urge to hug her; but, when I opened my eyes, I saw her getting up off the bed.

Leaning over to pull my covers up, she noticed that I was looking at her.

"I'll be right back, okay?"

I nodded.

She left the room, but soon returned; balancing two huge mugs of hot chocolate, piled high with whipped cream, on a tray.

She put two pillows behind my back, so I could sit up partway, and then she handed one mug to me.

I took my first sip and sighed. "My God, Sam, this stuff is so good! Is it homemade?"

"Yeah. It's my secret recipe."

"Wow. Can I have it?"

She stared at me, mouth hanging open, like I'd just demanded both of her kidneys. "No way!"

"What? Why not?"

"I, uh, I...don't want it to be too easy for you to get rid of me." She immediately buried her face in her own mug.

"What makes you think I even had any intention of trying?"

She shrugged, and then she looked thoughtful for a minute. "Cupcake?"

"Yes?"

"Uh, I just wanted to say 'thanks' for, you know, for finally, uh, cooperating. I hope you realize that I'm only bossing you around to help get you back on your feet, as soon as possible."

"Yes. I know."

She enthusiastically drained her mug, set it aside, and began looking around the bed. "Now, where did I drop your nightshirt?"

"Sam, can I please...leave it off?"

"Are you sure you won't be cold?"

"I'm sure."

She reached over, pulling my covers farther up, until they were nearly under my chin; and then she pushed my hair off my face. "So, overall, how are you feeling?"

I paused to consider. "Well, between the shower_ and_ the massage _and_ the hot chocolate...pretty incredible, actually."

She smiled as I, with a sigh, handed her my empty mug.

She set it on the nightstand, next to her own...

...and took the extra pillows from behind my head, so I could lie back down...

...and then she leaned back against the headboard and sat, looking down at her knees, apparently deep in thought.

Neither of us spoke.

I lay, watching her closely...

...thoughtfully...

...silently...

...for several minutes...

...and then...

...I (finally) made a decision.

"Sam?" I whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I want to tell you something," I said, deliberately speaking as softly as I could.

She scooched across the bed and leaned closer, to hear. "Okay, but why are we whispering? And what did you want to say?"

I looked up, directly into her eyes. "Lie down with me."

"I can't. I don't want to squish you. And why are we still whispering?"

"Please, Sam? It's been_ such_ a long time."

With a sigh and a nod, she compromised; getting under the covers and then lying next to me, on her side, with her head propped up on her hand.

Not what I had in mind.

I reached across my body with my right arm, put my hand behind her shoulder, and pulled her across myself, until she was leaning over, holding herself up on her palms, and looking down at me.

I looked back at her...

...neither of us moving or speaking...

...for what seemed forever...

...until, finally...

...I managed to (sort of) master my fear.

And then, heart (still) pounding, I slowly raised my head up...

...and gently pressed my lips against hers...

...and then, almost immediately, I leaned back onto the pillow...

...and looked at up at her...

...and smiled.

She looked back at me, motionless; obviously surprised; apparently unsure of what to say or do.

So, once again, I leaned up, touching my lips to hers...

...and then I pulled back and smiled up at her.

And she smiled back at me!

Trying (with only partial success) to keep my voice steady, I whispered, "I love you, Sam..._so much."_

She closed her eyes, and bit her lower lip, and then, shifting her weight from her hands onto her elbows, she slid her hands under my back and hugged me.

She still hadn't spoken, so I whispered, nervously, "You...know that I do. Don't you?"

And, then, next to my ear, I heard, softly, "Yes. I do."

She pushed herself back up, and looked down at me, still smiling, as I (silently) sighed in relief.

But, after all that had happened recently, especially her reluctance to be (physically and verbally) intimate with me...I was too afraid to return her gaze; so I looked away as I asked, "And...do you...still...love _me_?"

Without hesitation, she leaned down...

...and rested her lips against mine.

Seconds later, I was looking up into her eyes. "C-can I...take that as...a 'yes'?"

She nodded.

Reaching up, I rested my hands on the back of her neck, but I didn't try to pull her toward me. Not even slightly. I wanted it to be her decision.

I said a silent prayer...

...and then felt my heart lurch...

...as she leaned back down...

...and then...

...slowly and shyly...

...she kissed me...

...for five whole seconds!

Incapable of further speech, I removed my hands from her neck, slid them up around her back, and hugged her.

Her palms were flat on mattress again, and her back muscles were tight, as she balanced herself above me; and I know it was because she was afraid of putting any pressure on my lower stomach.

She turned her head on the pillow, until her mouth was next to my ear. "Open your legs," she murmured.

As I did, I felt her left knee slide down between them, as she shifted her body until it was directly over mine.

"Thanks, Cupcake, I don't want to..."

"I know, I know, I know! You don't want to squish me!"

Her head was against my cheek, and I felt her nod, as I heard her exasperated sigh.

I was deliberately silent for a minute, focusing entirely on screwing up my courage; while she lay above me, still not moving.

Taking a deep breath (extremely hard to do when you're breathing so jerkily), I moved my head over and downward, and kissed the side of her neck.

As I did, I heard her sharp intake of breath, and thought I had scared her; but she didn't move off me.

And then I swallowed. Hard. "Sam?"

Lifting her head, she looked down at me...and, even though she was smiling, there was no mistaking the fear in her eyes.

For her sake, I pretended not to notice.

"S-sam, do you r-remember what I promised you...four months ago?"

"Hmm...vaguely."

I could tell that she was deliberately acting nonchalant to try to hide her nervousness.

I smiled at her, reassuringly...

... and I felt her body starting to tremble, under my palms.

"Um...uh...are...are you _sure,_ Carls?"

I lifted my head, looking her straight in the eye. "Yes. I'm sure. _And _with interest. How much did you say you charge? Forty percent?"

She swallowed. Hard. "Don't w-worry about that, Carls. I'm w-willing to forgive the interest."

"That's too bad, Sam. Because _I'm_ _not_."

Her eyebrows shot up; and, much to my amusement, she opened her mouth, but no sound came out.

Reaching up with both hands...

...I gently lay my palms against her cheeks...

...and smiled warmly at her...

...and then, her body still trembling...

...as she (nervously) smiled back...

...she let me ease her face down to mine.

In light of her current apprehension, as well as her recent reluctance to be open with me, I had already decided not to push my luck (well, at least not tonight)...

_...so..._

_..._as I moved my lips softly against hers; kissing her slowly, lovingly, and lingeringly; it was with my mouth completely closed.

She still enjoyed it.

(Okay, okay...so did I!)

After a minute or two of the most earth-shattering, mind-blowing entertainment of my life, her lips left mine and I saw her looking, expectantly, down at me.

For almost a minute.

She didn't say anything.

At all.

And then I realized that she was waiting for me to speak first.

But...what to say to her?

"So, uh, Sam...was that...okay?"

She smiled and nodded.

I waited in silence.

But, still, she didn't speak.

Oh, great...what to say to her_ now_? "Good. I'm, uh, glad you liked it. So, then, do you, uh, consider yourself to be um, 'adequately compensated'?"

She frowned, and then (finally), she spoke. "You forgot something, Carls."

My heart stopped. "W-what's that?"

"You didn't factor in inflation."

And she leaned down and kissed me again...

...and I laughed against her lips.

With a smile, she moved her head down onto the pillow, whispering next to my ear. "Just a reminder, Cupcake: I love you."

And then...

...before I could recover...

...let alone respond...

...she raised her head, and...

...with one last, fast kiss...

...she rolled off me...

...and back across the bed.

XXXXX

It was around nine the next morning that I woke up; if you can call it that. Much to my surprise I had hardly slept for the past seven hours, and certainly not deeply; and as I stretched, I realized that my entire body was aching and stiff. Overall I felt really horrible, despite having had such an excellent evening.

But why?

About an hour later, after a hearty breakfast of Fat Cakes (surprise(!), Sam reached over and wiped a few stray crumbs off my mouth, before asking, "Well, what should we do today?"

I pretended to look thoughtful. " Hmm. Today...I want to do something different."

"Like what?"

"Oh, I don't know...like...lie here!"

"Come on, Carls. I'm serious."

"So am I."

She rubbed the back of her neck. "What do you mean?"

"Well, honestly, I hardly slept last night, so I'd like to try to take a nap, if it's okay with you. Besides, I felt you tossing and turning next to me for most of the night...so I'm guessing that you didn't sleep very well either."

She shrugged. "Not really. I'm not sure why."

She avoided my eyes when she said it.

For her sake, I pretended not to notice.

I nodded. "Well then, since you're just as beat as I am, then why don't we both crash for a while?"

"Okay." She glanced down at my nearly-naked body. "Are you sure you don't want to put a nightshirt on?"

"I'm sure." I settled back into the pillow and looked (nervously) over at her. "Come here."

"Why, Carls?"

"Just because."

"Oh. Okay."

She wasn't moving fast enough to suit me, so I reached across the bed with both arms and dragged her closer, until she was practically on top of me. "Good night, Sam."

I had to smile at her look of confusion.

"But...it isn't night time."

"I know that. I guess what I wanted to say was, uh..." I faltered.

"What?"

I shrugged. "Well, then...Good sleep, Sam."

She smiled. "Back at ya."

I lay there, holding my breath in hopeful anticipation.

But she didn't move.

So I reached up and rested my hand against her cheek.

She leaned down, burying her face in the pillow, as she hugged me.

After a minute or two, I realized that she wasn't moving, and I lay there wondering how she could possibly breath in that position. "Sam?"

"Hmm?"

"Sam?"

She raised her head slightly. "Uh, yeah?"

Trembling inwardly, I looked back at her, questioningly...

...and then, I saw her glancing, uncertainly, down at my mouth...

...and then back up at my eyes...

...and then back at my mouth again...

...and, finally, back up at my eyes.

Green light!

I smiled encouragingly.

After hesitating for a long moment...

...she nodded...

...and shifted her body, balancing over me once more, on her hands and knees...

...and then she lowered her head again...

...and her lips were moving against mine.

And it felt exactly like the time - when I was only four - that I had stuck a fork into a wall outlet.

I ran my shaking hands,_ slowly,_ up and down her arms, as a high-voltage electrical charge ran, _rapidly,_ up and down my body.

And then I heard - and felt – the change in her breathing.

And I knew that she wanted more.

And so did I.

Desperately.

Still determined not to scare her off, I leaned up, and slowly - _carefully - _took hold of her lower lip...

...and began gently caressing it with both of my own...

...not pushing in any way.

To my immense relief, it paid off.

Less than a minute later, her own lips parted slightly...

...and I gradually, artfully, finessed the tip of my tongue between them.

Almost immediately, her tongue moved forward and met mine; first nervously, and then with a surprising familiarity. And then, after the introductions had been made, she moved her tongue aside politely, and I tentatively, shyly, began to explore the warm, velvet contours of her open mouth.

Her body was inching lower, slowly, gradually, until finally, I felt her chest barely touching mine. I also noticed that it was moving up and down against my own, quickly and unsteadily, due to her uneven breathing.

Realizing that I was affecting her, in that way, my head started spinning.

Oh, God! I never knew that it would be This Fantastic! I'd wanted, dreamed about kissing Sam, for such a long time...

...imagining, then, how incredible it might be...

...but lying here now, utterly astonished at how wildly it exceeded even my highest expectations.

Her tongue was now doing the most gymnastically-impressive things against my own; and I felt my hands moving, seemingly of their own accord, up into her hair; as something in the deepest pit of my abdomen forcefully clenched and unclenched...

...over and over...

...and, even though it's been ages since I could remember what wearing dry panties felt like, now I _also_ felt an abundant wetness _of an entirely different kind _leaking out of me, almost non-stop, and soaking my pad.

Maybe being wet isn't so bad, after all.

My entire body erupted into flames as her tongue began exploring my mouth...

...while her hands tangled in my hair...

...and, less than a minute later, my chest began to heave, as my nipples began to harden against her chest.

And then, suddenly...

...she stopped.

Immediately I raised my head, desperate to kiss her again, but she raised her own even higher, and looked down at me with regret.

And then, to my complete dismay and disappointment...

...I felt the raging inferno in my body suddenly extinguished...

...instantly reduced to barely-warm embers.

I looked up at her, trembling, silently pleading; trying to convey, with my eyes alone, how badly I wanted _and needed_ her to continue...

...and I could tell that she understood...

...completely...

...but, with a sad smile, she shook her head.

Oh no.

I tried - and failed - to keep the edge of desperation out of my voice. "Sam?"

She averted her eyes.

"Sam, why did you stop?"

She didn't answer.

"D-did I...do something wrong?"

She turned back to me. "Of course not."

"Then...am I...that bad at...at kissing?"

"No. Not at all."

"Then...?"

Without answering, she moved off me, and lay on her side, next to me.

I couldn't stop shaking. My mind was reeling, because my entire body was aching _so_ _badly_; desperate for her – for anyone – to touch me again.

Right Now.

So, even though it was a poor substitute for the real thing, I reached down, slid my hand inside my panties, and began to rub my stomach.

She looked down at my hand, and then up into my eyes and I saw the concern in her own. "Carls, when I was lying on top of you just now, did I...hurt you there?"

"No. You didn't."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded.

And then I felt her hand on top of mine, inside my panties. "Here. Let me."

I closed my eyes and moved my hand away, as her own took its place.

And, as it slowly began to move...

...my entire body instantly erupted into an inferno again...

...raging even hotter than before.

Desperately trying to hide it, I held my breath...

...while trying (and failing) to control my now-violently-trembling thighs...

...as she gently caressed me...

...looking into my eyes with so much love...

...gradually moving her hand lower and lower...

...sincerely trying to make me relax...

...but unwittingly making me crazy.

And then...

...even though I was afraid of what might happen, of what her response might be...

...I absolutely couldn't wait any longer.

I deliberately tilted my pelvis forward and upward; causing her fingers to slide under the top edge of my pad, and down onto my pubic hair.

It's obvious that she was completely unaware of what was actually going through my mind, because instead of moving her hand away, her palm continued to gently caress the lowest part of my lower abdomen. "Right here? Over your incision? Are you sure I'm not hurting you?"

I looked away and nodded.

She leaned over and softly kissed my stomach. "Okay. And don't worry; I'm going to be really, really careful. Now, just relax, Carls, and try to go back to slee-"

And then...

...even though her caresses - and her intentions - were completely innocent...

...I completely lost my head...

...not to mention every last vestige of my already rapidly-dwindling reserves of self-restraint.

Digging my heels deeply into the mattress, I pushed my body up toward the head of the bed, until her fingers were directly over my vagina...

...while reaching down with my left hand and pressing against the outside of the crotch of my panties, pushing her hand against me...

...hard...

...and, as I felt her index finger sink, as a result, between my outer lips...

...I covered my left hand with my right, and pushed down...

...even harder...

...pressing her fingers even tighter against me...

...gasping as a second one was forced inside...

...over on the _other_ side of my clitoris...

...and then...

...while maintaining my iron-fisted grip on the back of her hand...

...and absolutely unable to focus on anything other than...

...how utterly essential it is for me to have an earth-shaking, window-shattering-due-to-my-screaming orgasm...

...immediately, if not sooner...

...I began shoving my pelvis upward...

...slamming my clitoris against her fingers...

...repeatedly, rapidly, desperately...

...as hard as I could.

She stopped.

Immediately and completely.

Oh! God! No!

"Please, Sam? Please?"

She shook her head, while trying to slide her hand out from under mine.

I didn't let her.

She leaned over, looking directly down at me, and stated, flatly, "Please let go of my hand."

"Come on...you've touched me there before...in the shower...and I was bleeding then, too!"

"It's not because of that, Carls. I promise you that it's not."

"Then...can we?"

She sighed. "No. I'm sorry."

"Please?"

"You know that we can't."

And then, as suddenly as it had seized me...

...my temporary insanity passed.

And I let her remove her hand...

...as my head finally cleared, and reality sank back in...

...and then, realizing( to my horror) that I had just made a _huge_, tactical error...

...and regretting it tremendously...

...I immediately and completely pulled back.

In every sense of the word.

"S-sam, I'm really sorry. I know I shouldn't have...uh..._asked._"

She set aside the towel that she was using to dry her hand, and then she bent down and pulled me close to her. "It's okay, Carls. I'm not upset that you did."

"Are you sure?"

She leaned back and looked into my eyes. "Yes. I'm sure."

And I let her pull me closer.

Three hours later...

...after lunch...

...between not having slept _and_ being frustrated from all the 'unfinished business' between Sam and myself...

...I was completely, utterly, _totally_ worn out.

It hit me like a falling building.

She noticed.

"You look tired, Cupcake."

"Yeah, well you try sleeping on your back. I know you couldn't do it either."

She rolled her eyes. _"And_ you sound cranky."

I sighed. "I'm just...you know...spent."

She looked at me sympathetically. "Me too. So why don't we try, again, to take a nap?"

"Okay."

I watched hopefully, as she moved across the bed and leaned over me.

Taking my hand in her own, she said, "I'm sorry that you haven't been sleeping well."

"Thanks. Are you sure you don't mind taking another nap?"

"Not at all. You know it's one of my favorite sports."

I smiled. "Good night...I mean, Good sleep."

I leaned up and kissed her softly.

And promptly pulled back.

With a smile, she leaned down and began kissing me; and then, to my complete surprise, I felt her left hand sliding down my bare chest, and, a moment later, cupping my right breast.

Yay!

Some Action!

_Finally!_

She opened her mouth.

I opened my own.

And, as we kissed I felt myself begin to get incredibly excited again.

Almost immediately.

And, as my nipples hardened, I slid my shaking hands down onto her backside, outside her boxers, and began alternately fondling and squeezing both cheeks .

And she stopped.

Abruptly.

But why?

"Sam, please don't!"

"I have to."

"But...why?"

She sighed. "You know why."

I was shaking. And not from desire. "No, I don't...can you be a little more specific?"

She sat up and grabbed her head with both her hands before looking down at me. "Do I have to spell it out again? It's only been a few days since your last surgery."

"Come on, _please? _Just for a little while?"

"Sorry, Carls."

I was growing desperate. "How about if I promise..._not to_? I promise I'll tell you...long before I'm..._about to_. Okay?"

She shook her head. "You wouldn't have to; I'd be able to tell if you were getting close. I've had them myself."

"Oh. Yeah. Well then, since you'd be able to tell...then can we-"

"Sorry, Carls."

"J-just for a few more minutes?"

"We can't."

I wanted to yell, 'You're Torturing Me!', but I knew I didn't dare...

...because I knew that all of her well-intentioned (yet insanity-inducing) caresses were only because she was _trying to_ help, even though she wasn't sure _how to_...

…and because, if I did say it, then she wouldn't touch me at all.

And that would be unbearable.

So instead, I asked, "Please, Sam? Please? I promise I won't ask you to...you know..._finish_! I _promise_!"

To say that her response was upsetting would be the understatement of the year.

I felt her lips on my forehead, and then she pulled the covers over me and moved back across the bed.

And I passed out from exhaustion.

Around eight pm that evening, right after we'd finished dinner, I sank, wearily back into my pillow.

I wasn't really feeling tired, since I'd actually slept.

I was, however, feeling insanely horny; and desperately in need of (at least) another kiss.

Or twenty.

Right Now.

"Sam, do you mind if I knock out early?"

She looked at me from across the bed. "No, but I'm a little concerned about you not being able to sleep."

"Don't worry; I'll be okay."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded. "Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Sam?"

She understood the look I was giving her...

...and she moved across the bed.

I reached up, put my hand behind her shoulder, and pulled her down to me.

"Good night."

And I was incredibly encouraged as I saw the way she was smiling down at me. "Good night, Carls."

"Uh, Sam, are you _sure_ you're not mad at me...you know...because of...of what happened earlier?"

She leaned closer, and ran a hand through my hair. "Of course I'm not. How could I possibly be?"

"Oh, Sam! I love you so-"

And I was cut off by her lips on mine.

And I began to kiss her back. Okay, Shay...keep your head! Maybe if you use restraint...you actually might get somewhere with her this time.

So I deliberately kept my tongue to myself...

...and kept my kisses completely G-rated...

...and kept my hands strictly in G-rated territory...

...and to my immense relief, she didn't pull away...

...and then, after a minute or two...

...I felt her hand move down onto my breast again.

Thank God!

And, as she curved her fingers around it, her mouth opened against mine.

I focused hard on my breathing, desperately trying to keep it even.

It worked.

For about five seconds.

I had absolutely no control over my body's response to her lips, to her hands, and especially to the way that I could feel her chest heaving against my own.

Because I knew it meant that I was having a similar effect on her.

Which was a mind-blowing turn-on for me.

I felt my entire body respond to that knowledge...

...and I gave into it.

One hundred percent.

Because I had no choice.

And, once again, I felt my pad rapidly becoming heavier and damper...

...as the sporadic, yet forceful, contractions between my legs pushed my body's wetness out of my vagina...

...over and over...

...and as, to my eager anticipation and immense relief...

...I realized that a violently-powerful, desperately-needed orgasm was now definitely only a few short minutes away.

Every nerve in my body was completely on edge, in tense anticipation...

...begging - _screaming - _for release...

...and, moments later, my already-firm nipples began to get rock-hard...

...and I felt my right one pushing up against her left palm...

...and, almost immediately...

...she stopped.

And, suddenly...

...I knew why she was putting her hand there.

And it wasn't for my pleasure.

Or hers.

Oh no.

She lifted her lips from mine.

"Sam! Come On!"

"Shh."

"Sam!"

"No, Carls."

"Oh, God, Sam! I swear I'm trying _not to_! But I can't help it! It just...happens!"

"Shh...let's go to sleep now."

"Sam just...help me! Please! Because, if I could just...you know...'_have one'_...then maybe I wouldn't constantly be so..._you know what_!"

She rolled off me and took my hand. "Shh. You're shouldn't get excited."

"TOO LATE!"

"Attitude, Carls."

Oops. "I'm...s-sorry."

She gave my hand a squeeze. "It's okay. I'm sure you agree that this isn't a good way to end the night. So let's try again, okay?"

With a sigh and a nod, I put my hand behind her shoulder, and pulled her over me. "Good night, Sam."

"Good night."

She lowered her head and let me kiss her.

And she kissed me back.

Slowly, warmly, and lovingly.

And, after a minute or two had elapsed, I realized that she wasn't pulling away.

So, encouraged, I tried to open my mouth...

...and she pulled away.

"No, Carls. I didn't mean _like that_."

I blinked rapidly, fighting back tears. "Sam...Please!"

"No." She moved across to her side of the bed and lay there on her side, leaning on her elbow, looking across at me, with both regret and resolve.

I tried - and completely failed - to keep the desperation out of my voice. "Please...just tell me why!"

She sighed, but seemed resigned to spelling it out. Again. "I don't want you to get too excited. You have enough unrelieved stress without adding more to it...especially in that area."

"Then why can't I just...you know..._finish_? Because then I wouldn't have any stress there at all. Why can't I?"

She shook her head.

"Come on, just tell me! Why? Just tell me!"

She bit her lip and took a deep breath.

"Well, because during, uh, orgasm, the uterus contracts. Hard. Like a fist. Over and over. And _your_ uterus currently has thirty-seven stitches in it."

"It...contracts like a fist? How do you know that?""

She looked away. "I just do"

"Sam, come on!"

"Shh."

I don't know which was shaking harder: my voice or my body. "Please? I'm sure it would be okay for me to...you know, to..._do this_; because it feels really, really good down there; every time you-"

She cut me off. "I'm sure that it does."

"Then why can't I? Why?"

"Because, Carls."

"Because..._why_?"

She answered, slowly, "Because...Dr. Anderson said so."

My body instantly went numb...like I had just been shoved into an icy lake.

I whipped my head away, too embarrassed to look at her. "Oh, my God, Sam! You...you've discussed this with him?"

Silence.

"Sam?"

"Uh, yes...well...not about...not about_ us..._but I asked him if it would be okay for you to...have an orgasm, to...you know...to relieve stress."

"Oh, God!"

Silence.

"And...wh-what did he tell you?"

She answered flatly. "He said, 'absolutely not'."

Head still turned away, I asked, "And wh-what else did he say about me?"

No answer.

"Sam?"

No answer.

So I looked over...

...to where she was lying...

...and found myself facing her back.

I retrieved my nightshirt from under the bed and put it on.

XXXXX

The next morning, when I opened my eyes, I was surprised to see that Sam was already awake; leaning against the headboard and looking out the window. I lay there for a few minutes, watching her in silence; wondering what she was looking at, and what she was thinking about; and then she turned to me, and I noticed that she was smiling.

"Oh, Good morning, Carls; I thought you were still asleep. Are you ready to go to the bathroom?"

I nodded.

After we had, she settled me back onto the bed, and lay back down beside me.

Looking out the window again, she asked, "Carls, what time is it?"

I glanced at the clock on my night stand. "Almost eight-fifteen. Why?"

Instead of answering, she merely nodded, and then scooted across the bed toward where I was lying.

I thought that she was coming closer because my sheet and bedspread were still in a heap down near my feet; but, instead of pulling the covers up, she slid one hand under my shoulders, and the other under my knees...

...and then she slowly, carefully, moved me over to her side of the bed.

Then she reached down, took hold of my nightshirt, and pushed it up around my chest.

"Sam? What are we doing?"

"You'll see. In just a few more minutes."

"I'll see _what_ in just a few more minutes?"

She shook her head. "Lift up your arms for me."

I did...

...and seconds later my nightshirt was gone.

And a minute later, I knew what she had in mind...

...as the morning's first rays of sunlight crept up over the window ledge...

...spilling warmly into the room...

...across the bed...

...and across my body.

She moved away, over on my side of the bed, and lay there, watching me with a self-satisfied smile.

Wearing only my panties, I looked down at my body, and then back at her, questioningly.

She smiled. "Oh. Well, in limited amounts, sunlight is very good for your skin. You know, vitamin D...and all that."

Inspired, I immediately rolled over onto my right side, and noticed the look of surprise in her eyes, as I started to push her T-shirt up around her chest.

"Carls?"

"Well, Sam, you know, vitamin D...and all that."

She smiled.

"So lift up your arms for me."

To my surprise, she did.

Without hesitation.

And I pulled her shirt completely off her.

I rolled over onto my back again, and, after sneaking a (second) peek at Sam's naked chest, I lay back against my pillow in total bliss. I absolutely love the sun...probably due, in part, to the fact that we rarely see it here in Seattle.

And then, after a few minutes of good behavior, I couldn't resist the (non-stop) urge any longer...

...so I turned my head...

...and looked back over at Sam.

It was now safe to stare, because her eyes were closed; so I was able, for the first time, to gaze, uninterrupted, at her bare chest.

Her breasts are absolutely beautiful.

I lay there, wishing that I could touch them; knowing that I didn't dare. So, as a consolation, I silently inched, ninja-like, over to the edge of my pillow...

...to a slightly closer vantage point.

And I stared some more.

And then, while looking so closely, I was surprised to see a very faint , two-inch long scar, on left side of her lower chest. I'd never noticed it before, and wondered what had caused it, as I made a mental note, reminding myself that I'd ask her, soon, where she got it...

...but not today.

Just then it occurred to me that she hadn't moved, or even opened her eyes, for the longest time...

...and, as I watched her lying, sprawled out, with an expression of utter contentment on her face...

...I realized, for the first time, that there's a definite connection between Sam and sunlight...

...and I moved even closer; fascinated by its effect on her.

I'd never noticed before.

In the past we had been to the beach, twice; but both days were overcast.

And I know that late afternoon has always been her favorite time of day; but, on the few occasions that we'd sat together on one of Meridian Park's benches, enjoying a rare sunset, I thought that her contented smiles were because she was so happy to be out of school for the day.

My mistake.

But...back to the present.

She still was motionless and, just as I was considering stealing a kiss, she suddenly began stretching, luxuriously and repeatedly, in all directions.

Just like a cat.

Hmm. I'd never thought of her in that way. I've always thought of Sam more as a dog: a scrappy, rough and tumble, perpetually-hungry, shaggy, lovable dog.

With a smile, I moved back onto my pillow...

...and turned my face toward the sun...

...and lay there, basking in the broad waves of light that were washing over me...

...and feeling so warm and weak...

...and so content...

...and wishing that this morning, this moment, would never end.

Suddenly wanting to touch Sam, I reached over and took her hand; and immediately felt my stomach swoop as her fingers curled around my own.

Then, with a smile and with eyes still closed, she moved slowly across the bed, until her shoulder was touching me; and she settled her head next to mine on the pillow.

Impulsively, I let go of her hand; and then, sliding my right hand under the top of her blue and white-striped boxer shorts, I slowly moved it across her stomach, over onto her bare right hip.

She let me.

After lying in complete silence for several minutes, I thought that maybe she had fallen asleep; but then suddenly, she asked, "Are you having a good time?"

"The best."

"I'm so glad."

"Sam?"

She yawned. "Yeah?"

"Uh, I was wondering...since it's you said that it's okay for me to be on my stomach for a few minutes...well, I was wondering if I could sun my back? Just for a little while?"

She immediately answered. "Yes."

"Then, will you help me turn over?"

"Sure."

She sat up and slid her hand under my left shoulder...

...and then, to my amazement...

...she lay down again...

...pulling me over and down...

...onto her chest.

With the sun warming my bare back and Sam's chest warming my bare front, I lay there, unable to move _and _unwilling to try, in speechless contentment.

I sighed as her hands began tracing lazily over my back.

Heaven.

Curiosity finally bested me...

...when I leaned up...

...and saw the way she was looking at me.

"Sam, what are you thinking?"

"I was just wondering if you would mind if I kissed you."

Oh my God! An honest and direct answer!

There's hope for her yet.

Too polite to keep her waiting...

...I immediately lowered my lips to hers.

Not wanting to be banished from the paradise in which I currently resided, I resolved, then and there, to proceed this time with utmost caution _and _with complete presence of mind...

...scared shitless that she'd pull away if I didn't.

A minute or two later, she opened her mouth.

I continued to kiss her, sensually, but with restraint; wondering if I dared to push my luck.

I decided against it.

Seconds later I panicked...

...as I felt my nipples hardening against her chest...

...and I know, from the way she stole a fast, downward glance, that she could feel it, too...

...but, then (to my complete relief), instead of moving away, she actually pulled me closer, flattening my chest against her own.

I stopped kissing her for a moment, and lowered my mouth to her ear. "Sam? Thank you for...you know...for...not stopping. I promise to..to behave myself this ti-"

"Shh. I know."

"Sam, I love you so mu-"

"Shh."

And then, as I resumed kissing her...

...I felt the change in her breathing...

...as her own nipples became rigid...

...and pressed like two exclamation points up into my chest...

...as her hands moved lower...

...down onto my backside.

"Sam, uh, while you're down there, will you jiggle my butt?"

"Your_ bare _butt?"

"Y-yes, please."

She did. "How's that?"

"Incredible. Uh, can I...please...um...jiggle yours now?"

Her hands stopped moving. "No, thanks. "

"Come on. Let me. It doesn't have to be your _bare_ butt."

She shook her head.

"Please, Sam?"

Her hands started moving again.

I sighed in disappointment.

She heard.

"It's such a nice morning, Carls. Let's just enjoy it, okay?"

"Yeah. I guess."

Hmm...

...she_ did _say to _enjoy_ it.

Without a word, I turned my head frontward, and began to kiss her neck softly and repeatedly...

...and then, after monitoring the situation closely for a couple of minutes and noticing that she wasn't resisting...

...I gradually, slowly, kissed my way down to her upper chest, steering far clear of her breasts.

To my surprise, she tilted her head back, and wrapped her arms around my neck.

Always a good sign.

I heard her sigh as I kissed her continuously, in random patterns, gradually inching downward, closer and closer, to her cleavage.

She let me.

Finally, lowering my face, I softly began kissing between her breasts, and heard her gasp as I gently nuzzled against the base of her right one.

I froze.

But then, to my relief, she began breathing again.

And so did I.

I raised myself up on my hands and looked down at her. Her eyes were closed tightly, and her own hands were grabbing onto the sheet. I gently removed one of them, and lay it against my cheek; and after a moment, I noticed and felt it trembling; as she moved it upward, and began stroking my hair.

Yes.

I leaned down, and kissed her cheek, and then whispered, "Don't worry. I love you _so_ much."

Eyes still closed, she didn't respond...but I know that she heard me.

Unsure but hopeful, I slowly kissed my way back down her chest, back down into her cleavage...

...and, as I did, I felt her trembling pelvis shift under my own...

...not once, but several times...

...and I smiled...

...because I realized, from the way it was moving, what was starting to happen 'downtown'.

Although insanely curious to know if she was wet (and, if so, _Exactly How Wet_), I resisted the urge to 'find out'...

...and slid my hands carefully under her back...

...instead of between her legs...

...and then, slowly, yet deliberately, I turned my head, first to one side, and then to the other, as I began kissing the lower area of her both her breasts.

Over and over.

A minute or two later, I'm pretty sure I heard a soft moan; and her hands came to rest on the tops of my shoulders.

And then, hardly daring to breath, I lifted my head...

...and very, very gently...

...I took her stiff left nipple between my lips.

"Carls! No!"

Immediately, she pushed against my shoulders.

Alarmed, I immediately pulled away.

She lurched up into a seated position, and hurled her body back against the headboard with such force that it banged loudly against the wall.

I leaned forward slightly. "Sam..."

"No...I...I...!"

"Shh...it's okay, Sam," I said, in my most reassuring voice.

As I moved closer, she cringed, wrapping her arms around herself, while staring at me in terror.

I slowly continued to move forward. "Sam, put your arms down," I said softly.

Wild-eyed, she shook her head.

I inched closer. "Come on...let's not end such a beautiful morning this way. Please put them down."

She slowly uncrossed her arms.

I moved farther up the bed, until I was right next to her. "That's it. Everything is okay now. Everything. I'm not going to touch you there. I promise. Now, come here and we'll try this again. And not _that way_."

I held out my arms.

She didn't move...

...but at least she didn't resist as I put my hands on her back and pulled her close to me.

I gently moved her head down onto my shoulder, and then returned my hands to her back, holding her very carefully against me.

"Can you tell me about it?"

She shook her head.

"I do love you, Sam. So very much."

She didn't answer, but she did wrap her arms around me...

...and pull me very, very close to her.

I pressed my lips against her cheek. "Yes, Honey, I know. I know that you love me, too."

She nodded.

"So, please...whatever it is...just tell me...please?"

No answer.

Not knowing what was going on was hurting me so badly, but I did my best to hide that from her; even though I wanted to demand that she tell me, reminding her that we'd sworn not to have any more secrets from each other. But I couldn't say any of that...

...because I love her so much.

I pulled back. "Hey."

She looked into my eyes, and her own eyes and her expression were now completely blank.

And I knew that it was intentional...

...because she obviously felt that whatever was bothering her was so horrible that she _absolutely could not_ let me discover any part of it.

And my heart was breaking because of it.

I sighed. "Can I kiss you, without getting a fist in the face?"

Her expression softened slightly, and she leaned forward.

It was a nice kiss.

Taking hold of her wrists, I carefully moved her hands up onto my shoulders, and slowly began to run my own hands along her arms; and, after a minute or two, she seemed to relax slightly.

I took a deep breath.

I had to know.

"Sam...is it...because you...you have...feelings for someone else?"

"NO!"

I jumped so violently that both her hands fell off me.

I moved them back onto my shoulders. "Okay, okay...I promise that I believe you. I promise. Then...is it because...this is your first time? Or maybe because...you think that it's selfish for you to...you know...to have fun...while I can't?"

"C-carls?"

"Yes?"

She shook her head.

My heart was beating up near my throat, but I did my best to appear calm outwardly. "That's it. Just take your time. And, no matter what you tell me, I promise that I won't be mad at you. I promise."

She looked down and bit her lip. "I..."

I reached over and tangled a hand in her hair. "Sam. I love you so incredibly much. And nothing will ever change that."

Head still lowered, she looked up at me from under her eyebrows...

...and smiled.

Thank God.

"C-carls..."

"That's it."

"Uh..."

"Go on. It's all right to tell me now, because, no matter what it is, everything is going to be okay. I promise."

And then, raising her head...

...she looked up at me...

...and then, suddenly, she looked past my shoulder...

...and I watched in dismay, as first the sun, and then her smile, suddenly disappeared.

And something inside her eyes changed.

Completely.

She moved backward. Away from me. "Carls...it's...it's time for breakfast."

Devastated, I looked at her from across the bed, through the hazy, gray morning gloom that now separated us...

...like a shroud.

"But...Sam..."

She got up off the bed, pulled on her T-shirt and shorts, and then grabbed her phone. "Fat Cakes...right?"

"Sam? Wil-"

She was out the door.

Damn.

I snatched my Pear Phone off the nightstand and, hands shaking, I immediately checked the weather forecast for the next five days.

Nothing but rain.

"Shit."

"Oh, fuck...I said 'shit'!'

"Oh, shit...I said 'fuck'!"

I really need to get this new, nasty swearing habit of mine under control.

One of these days.

Sigh.

Oh, Sam...I tried _so_ hard.

And I thought that you were _so close_ to telling me...

...but you didn't.

Sigh.

But I'll try again. Tonight.

I smacked my head back against the pillow and lay there in silence...completely clueless. What could possibly be upsetting her so badly?

I wrestled with the problem, attacking it - repeatedly, yet unsuccessfully - from all angles...

...coming up empty-handed...

..._over and over and over_...

...until I found myself fighting the urge to scream at the top of my lungs from frustration.

And then I looked at the clock.

She had been gone for almost forty minutes.

And that was way, way too long.

Just as I made up my mind to call to her...

...I heard her footsteps on the stairs.

And, as she entered the bedroom, I took one look at her face.

Oh my God.

"Sam, s-something's wrong...isn't it?"

She stood there, staring at me; and her mouth was moving, but no words were coming out of it.

"Sam, oh, my God! What is it?"

And, as she approached the bed, I saw how badly she was shaking...

A/N: The more you review...

...the more I write.


	8. Chapter 8

...and then...

...I followed her line of vision...

...down to the breakfast tray...

...on which I saw...

...as I stared in both _shock_ and _disbelief_...

...two bowls, two spoons, a pitcher of milk and...

_...A Box Of 'Bitty Wheats'! _

_And Nothing Else!_

"Sam? Wh-where are the Fat Cakes?"

No response.

_And_ she was now avoiding my eyes.

Not good.

"Sam?"

"I...uh-"

I picked up the cereal box and shook it in front of her face. "Because if _this_ is your idea of a joke, it isn't funny! Now where are they?"

She cringed at my accusation, but at least it snapped her out of her silence. "W-well...I went downstairs to get them...

"...and as I walked into the kitchen, and over to the cabinet...

"...I was stopped by the huge padlock and chain that Spencer had wrapped around it."

I laughed.

Loudly.

"You've got to be kidding me, Sam! When have you _ever_ been defeated by a padlock?"

She took a shaky breath. "It...it was a _combination_ lock!"

Oh no.

I tried to remain calm. "Well, there _was_ a master-keyhole on the back of it, wasn't there?"

"There wasn't."

Oh No!

"Okay, okay...let's keep our heads here. Just run across the street to the convenience store and-"

Carls, why do you think I've been gone for so long? It was the first thing I thought of, too...but, according to the cashier, Spencer beat us to it. He was there, three hours ago...and he bought them _all_."

"NO! Well then, why didn't you buy something el-"

"I was going to...but he bought all of the Chocolate Dip Stix, too..._and_ all the Berry Bling-Blings! And the delivery truck only comes once a week. On Wednesdays."

Grabbing both of her arms to steady myself, I raised my face to hers...

...as the ominous truth hit me...

...like a freight train. "And today is..._Friday_!"

She set down the tray and put her trembling hands on my shoulders. "Carls...I'm so, so sorry."

But I was inconsolable.

"Oh my God! No other shop around here sells Fat Cakes! No...wait! What about that deli, over on King street? The one that's run by those two hippies!"

She shook her head sadly. "You mean the ones who sold the "deliciously-addictive" potato salad? The Feds closed them down, last month, when they found out exactly what kind of 'special herbs' were in that recipe."

"Oh my God, Sam! Is there any other junk food in the house? Hey, what about those chocolate chunk cookies we-"

"Sorry. I wiped out them all out last night."

I felt my body beginning to shake...with the first tremors of withdrawal. "W-well, w-what are we g-gonna do?"

She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. "I guess we're just gonna have to 'man up' and eat Bitty Wheats. But if it makes you feel any better, I did find two jars of sundae toppings that Spencer had hidden under his bed."

She pulled them from the back pockets of her shorts and started to wrestle with the lids, while I looked down at the bowl in front of me and picked up my spoon with a sigh.

I took my first bite.

It was worse than anticipated.

Far worse.

I'm not going to lie...in the past, I usually ate healthy stuff for breakfast; but ever since being laid-up, I had, for some inexplicable reason, developed an irrational, _insatiable_ craving for Fat Cakes...

...and so, after being accustomed to eating them - morning after morning - trying to choke down Bitty Wheats_ now, _was like chewing on tree bark.

Cardboard-flavored tree bark.

Fighting the nearly-overwhelming urge to hurl, I turned to Sam. "This stuff needs serious camouflaging...so hand over the hot fudge."

"Uh Carls...I, uh..."

"Oh, Sam...not the_ entire jar_?"

"Sorry. Here, have some butterscotch."

I flung my spoon down in frustration. "I can't live like this! What can we do?"

Apparently she'd been contemplating the same question because she answered without a moment's hesitation.

"Well, we could dress up like Spencer and Freddie...and then sneak down the street under cover of darkness...and 'hold up' a liquor store. They'd both get thrown into jail...so it would be like killing two nerds with one stone!

"Sam! That's appalling! Even for you! How can you even suggest such a-"

"No, wait, Carls! Listen to this! I have an even better idea!"

I listened.

She did.

Much better.

Still, it was potentially problematic.

"But, Sam, you know that I'm not supposed to get out of bed."

She smiled deviously. "Desperate times call for desperate measures...so I think we can make an exception here."

One hour later, we were hard at work on the script.

Three hours later, she was wheeling me out of the room.

Five hours later, we were like two kids on Christmas Eve, waiting in eager anticipation of Santa...I mean Spencer.

Shortly after seven pm, a high-pitched scream, coming from downstairs, heralded his arrival...

...and we knew that he had just discovered the empty goldfish bowl, with the 'For Rent' sign taped to it.

The series of distraught sobs which followed...

...announced that he was reading the ransom note.

And the loud thud we heard, shortly thereafter...

...confirmed that he had just fallen to the floor, unconscious, after watching the following video on our kitchen's computer:

{Is the camera rolling? Yeah? Okay, here we go. Hi! I'm Chef Sam Puckett, and welcome to Part One of today's..._Recipes for the Recession_!

In light of the pathetically-lame-ass current state of the economy, we recognize that many of you, as a result, now find yourselves faced with the grim prospect of having to give up some of life's little luxuries, namely...Eating _and _Living Indoors! Well, never fear! Our mission is to provide you with essential, money-saving tips to help you maintain the self-serving, gluttonous lifestyle to which you've become accustomed.

After all, why waste your hard-earned cash at the grocery store when you can blow it on Cuttlefish concert tickets; especially since you already have most of the ingredients you need to make tonight's dinner right in your very own home?

Since today is Friday, this episode will feature my favorite seafood recipe.

So, here on my left is a box of Shake-and-Bake...and here to my right is a very large fish bowl, containing today's entree. Everyone...say hello to Jack and Rose! Yes both of whom were named after the _tragically-unfortunate_ couple of the _catastrophically-heartbreaking_ movie...Titanic. Yes, I'm sure you're all familiar with their _shocking_ and _sorrowful_, story...especially its _horribly-grim_ _end_.

We had originally planned to call this recipe 'Shock-and-Brock', in honor of the former tenant of this bowl...but, as it turned out, Spencer, his caretaker, was too thoughtless and lazy to feed Brock; so my camera crew ended up returning him to the pet store for his own good.

However, this past New Year's Eve, Spencer announced that his resolution was to be much more responsible; and, after several hours of tearful begging and pleading, he actually managed to convince us to allow him to be a pet owner again.

So, as a result, he has not just one, but _two_ adorable fish. And props to Spencer for keeping his word. It's now August and look at how fat and juicy...oops...I mean how fat and healthy Jack and Rose look! Camera-man Carly, wheel your chair forwa-...I mean zoom in on this bowl. Yes, that's it. See, everyone? They've grown to at least seven inches long! Spencer has been feeding them so frequently and so well that, accompanied by a hearty side dish, I'm sure just one of these babies will make a more-than-adequate serving.

But, then again, I tend to eat more than the average person, so today we're going to cook them _both_, just to be on the safe side. That way, they can 'snuff it' together, and no one'sheart will have to_ 'go on and on'_.

Some of you are undoubtedly shaking your heads and saying that this is a shame, and, you know what...you're right! Especially when you consider the countless hours of dedicated effort and unselfish love that Spencer has, up until now, put into the care of these two...for the past eight months of their unfortunately-short lives.

But, then again...I'm hungry.

Oh well.

So, on to the recipe. Even though I'm sure that countless animal-rights groups will boycott this video within minutes of it being uploaded, we strongly advise against the dangerous, _potentially-lethal_ practice of serving previously-slaughtered seafood...that's been languishing for God-knows-how-long. So, to set a good example (and, rather than risk hepatitis), today we're going to fry them while they're still alive; so they'll be as fresh as possible!

And, hey, just because these two are _about to die violently_ doesn't mean that we shouldn't give them a memorable send-off! So, rather than just slapping their lifeless carcasses onto a plate..._plain_...like sub-standard diner hash, we're going to serve them swimming off to the oblivion of my stomach in a delicious and authentic Marinara sauce.

We'll begin by finely dicing a large Vidalia onion, and four cloves of fresh garlic...

...and good knife-handling skills are important...so watch those fingers, people!

Now, I'll just do the same with these twelve ripe plum tomatoes, while I tell you that this reminds me so much of cooking with my mom, every December, for the holidays. Ah...I have such fond memories! She'd guzzle cooking sherry straight from the bottle...while tearfully reminiscing about her former job at that ethnic restaurant, '_The Greece-y Spoon'_...complaining, non-stop, about her bastard boss in _that_ kitchen; as we sang her favorite Christmas Carol: _Chef's Nuts Roasting on an Open Fire._

Oh, look at this...the slicing and dicing are over with before you know it! Now, I'll pour a generous amount of extra-virgin olive oil into this large saute pan and set it over very-high heat...and wait for it to become smoking-hot while I chiffonade some fresh basil.

Yummy!

Now where did I put my filet knife? Ah, here it is, over by this mixing bowl; into which I'll pour the entire box of Shake and Bake.

Okay, everyone, do you see the bluish haze of smoke drifting upward from the saute pan? That means...

...it's Show Time! So, now I'll just plunge my fist into the fish bowl..._like this..._and...

...oops! My camera crew is signaling to me that we have to end Part One of this episode. Stay tuned for Part Two...which will most definitely be filmed later this evening...in a remote, undisclosed location..._Unless_ _The Two Of Us Find_ _Something Else_ _To Eat!_}

Five minutes later, the lock and chain were gone.

Ten minutes later, Spencer had removed the top of the toilet tank in the upstairs bathroom, and was repeatedly plunging a large net into it, attempting to fish Jack and Rose back out.

Fifteen minutes later, Sam opened the kitchen cabinet door...and was nearly buried under an avalanche of Fat Cakes.

And, best of all, as a result of our recent triumph (and much to my relief), Sam cheered up remarkably that evening, and was almost back to her old self again.

After dinner and a (very uneventful) shower, I lay in bed while Sam took one herself; eagerly anticipating her joining me...

...because, after all, Sam's goodnight kisses are definitely the best part of my day, and are really the only pleasure I have left anymore.

Oh yeah...and tonight I also had, uh...other plans for her.

Ten minutes later, as she stood in front of the mirror, dressed for bed, with her back to me; I lay watching as she brushed her damp hair, while I mentally reviewed my carefully-planned agenda one last time.

Once she had climbed into bed and settled herself under the covers, I yawned...

...loudly and theatrically.

She looked across the bed at me with a broad smile, "Aw...is my favorite Shay all tired? Did this afternoon's loooong production schedule wear her out?"

I shrugged. "I guess I am. It _was_ kind of a long day."

She put her hands behind her head and stared up at the ceiling with a smug smile. "Yeah. Planning and executing a major rebellion can take a lot out of you. But the end definitely justified the means."

"That's for sure." I checked the clock. "It's past ten pm...we just missed the last episode of _Girly Cow_."

"Bummer."

I settled more deeply into my pillow and sighed. "I know what you mean. I'll never get tired of that show."

"We could watch a few episodes online," she suggested. "Do you want me to log in to Boob Tube?"

"No, we can't," I informed her. "They've all been yanked, due to copyright infringement."

"Bastards!"

After this pronouncement, she turned her head on the pillow and looked across at me. I looked back, with my most 'completely-exhausted' expression; eager to appear 'far-too-spent' to be perceived as a potential physical threat of any kind.

She bought it.

(And Dad thought that me joining Drama Club was a waste of time!)

Reaching over to where I lay, she ran a hand through my hair affectionately. "Somebody's tired. You're so cute when you're beat."

I just looked back at her through half-closed eyes.

"So," she continued, "I guess it's just as well that the show is over for the night. What time does the first episode come on, tomorrow morning?"

I pretended to look thoughtful for a moment. "Six-thirty...if you'd like to catch it."

She snorted. "Uh, yeah, Carls, I'd never get up that early...not even for _Girly Cow_."

I 'sleepily' cocked my head. "Are you sure about that, Sam? According to the TV guide, it's going to be the episode,_ Girly Cow Goes to Rehab_."

She immediately sat upright.

"What? The _Lost Episode_? I've always wanted to see that one, but they never seem to show it! Why do you think that is?"

Deliberately withholding the fact that they _often do _show it (just not during 'prime time'), I (sort of) told the truth. "Well, according to what I've read in the show's fan forums, in that episode...Girly Cow eats some uh, suspicious-looking 'weeds'...and gets addicted...and it's a kid's show."

Her jaw dropped. "You're kidding me! They never show it just because of the drug use?"

"Well, not exactly. A lot of parents have complained about the...well...there's also supposed to be a um...shower scene...with close-ups of udders...and also...some not-so-subtle, cow-on-cow innuendo."

"Aw what's the big chiz about udders? They're everywhere! And they're pretty hard to miss! _And_ they provide a valuable service! So why do people keep pretending that they don't exist?"

I shrugged. "Well, a lot of parents have still complained. They think that children shouldn't see something so...suggestively erotic."

She stared at me in disbelief. "But...it's one of the first things that young children see! Or is_ 'Old MacDonald'_ now X-rated, too? When will the network stop caving into the rabid rantings of paranoid parents? Where will this insanity end? Udders are perfectly natural...I mean, God invented them! If those idiots think that udders are obscene, then maybe they should talk to The Designer!"

I smiled.

She had a very valid point.

"All I know I that it's going to be on...and at six-thirty. Maybe we should get some sleep and try to catch it. Who knows when they might show that episode again?"

"Okay, Carls."

I set the alarm.

And then I looked at her, with my 'exhausted eyes', and yawned once again.

She moved across the bed.

And leaned over me.

I immediately leaned up and gave her a painfully-short (for both of us), incredibly-boring (for both of us) kiss. After no more than two seconds, I deliberately pulled away, sank back onto the pillow and turned my head away from her.

"Good night, Sam."

"Hey! What's your hurry?"

I turned back toward her. "Is something...wrong?"

"You can't be _that _tired, Carls!"

"I arranged my face into what I hoped was a convincingly-confused expression. "I don't understand."

"Well...it's just that you usually...uh...make your 'good nights' a little more...memorable."

I frowned. "Memorable?"

"Uh...never mind, Carls. Good night."

Long pause...

...and then I gasped..

"Oh, Sam...how thoughtless of me!"

And I reached up and wrapped my arms around the back of her neck...

...and gently pulled her down to me.

Less than a minute later, her lips slowly began to part...

...and I sighed as I felt her left hand settle over my right breast...

...because I knew why it was there.

Using heroic self-restraint, I deliberately held back, kissing her repeatedly, but with my mouth closed...

...even though it was obvious that she wanted more...

...while I focused on keeping my 'eyes on the prize'...

...and (with partial success) my nipples limp.

After several minutes...

...during which, she obviously was becoming progressively more aroused...

...and more frustrated...

...her tongue eventually, _insistently,_ 'came knocking'...

...and mine (finally) met hers...

...as I looked at her dreamily, through barely-open eyes.

And...

...(probably because I looked so weak and non-threatening)...

...she didn't pull away.

Even though my nipples were most definitely perking up.

Time to implement Phase Two.

I stopped kissing her...

...and, with a 'sleepy' smile, I reached up and started playing with her hair, which I know that she loves.

Biding my time paid off.

After several minutes of concentrated effort on my part, she smiled...

...and then closed her eyes...

...and, eventually lay down beside me...

...and, turning her face toward mine...

...she actually rested her head on my shoulder.

Reaching down, I gently took hold of her wrist and removed her hand from my breast, and, moving her arm forward and up, I rested her palm against my other shoulder. I'm guessing that her lack of protests were because I wasn't kissing her at the moment (and because I was 'so exhausted').

And then I felt her pulling me closer...

...so I moved her body over...

...until she was lying diagonally across my chest.

I slowly moved my own hands down, and then up, under her bottom edge of her T-shirt and began to rub her lower back, and, when I saw that she wasn't resisting, I gradually slid my hands higher and caressed her shoulders.

Within minutes, she had relaxed completely.

And I smiled as I heard her long sigh of contentment.

It was time for Phase Three.

"Sam?"

Long silence. "Hmm?"

I moved my hands back up into her hair, smiling inwardly as I felt her body turning to jello against mine. "This morning was so much fun."

"I agree," she murmured into my shoulder.

I took a moment to steady my nerves and my voice. "It was almost as good as...an orgasm."

Eyes still closed, she frowned slightly. "Well...I wouldn't go that far."

I paused for 3.5 seconds, pretending to reflect on what she'd said. "Yeah. I guess you're right. Nothing's more fun than an orgasm."

"That's for sure."

"You haven't had one for a while, have you, Sam...not since you moved in here?"

"Well, you know, I've been so busy with-"

Then she stopped abruptly, as she opened her eyes...wide...realizing what she had just admitted to.

"Carls!"

She immediately slapped her palms against the mattress, one on either side of me, and tried to raise herself up...

...but I wrapped an arm around her shoulder, and ran my other hand through her hair. "Shh...I was only asking."

"But..."

"Shh. I was only asking. Shh."

She stopped resisting and let me pull her body back down against mine.

"Oh. But _why_?"

"I...was just wondering."

She frowned. "Wondering what?"

"Well, you seem kind of...I don't know..._edgy_ lately. And I figured _that_ might be the reason why."

She buried her face in the pillow and muttered, "It's not a big deal. Not at all."

I immediately thought of seven different sarcastic things that I could say in response, but instead, I bit my tongue (hard) and began sliding my hands up and down her bare back again.

And, a few minutes later, I felt her begin to relax.

I moved one hand back into her hair. "Are you okay?"

"Yes."

Looking down, I saw that her eyes were closed; and, with my hands still moving, I leaned over and kissed her forehead.

"Good. I don't want you to think that I'm going to ask you to...you know...to 'do me' again. Because I'm not."

She shook her head. "I wasn't thinking about it. Carls, that feels _so_ good."

"I'm glad you like it."

I leaned across the pillow and gently pressed my lips to hers.

And immediately retreated.

Eyes closed, she moved her head over toward mine, and I made it easy for her to find my lips. I made sure to kiss her slowly and innocently, with my hands moving, non-stop; and, as I felt her beginning to get aroused, I focused, hard, on also keeping both her body and her mind relaxed.

Several minutes later, I heard and felt the change in her breathing...

...but, wanting to be absolutely sure, I wrapped my arms around her back...

...and pulled her closer...

...until her chest was squished up against my own...

...and I could feel, quite clearly, that it was time to implement Phase Four.

I stopped hugging her and started caressing her back again. "Sam?"

"Yes?"

"There's something I want to tell you."

She didn't open her eyes. "What's that, Carls?"

"I want to...uh..."

"You want to what, Cupcake?"

"Tonight...I want to...to 'help you'."

"You want to help me wha-" Suddenly comprehending, she immediately sat upright.

"No!"

I immediately reached over and took her hand. "Why not?"

"I...I..."

I tried to pull her closer, but she refused to lie back down, so I covered her hand with my other one. "Look, just because_ I_ can't doesn't mean that _you_ can't...

"...and, since you used to do it..._so often..._and now you haven't...for over a month...you're all stressed out. I know you need to...so badly."

"No!

"Sam, please..._please_ let me help you have one. You'll feel so much better afterward."

"No!"

She flopped down onto her stomach and put the pillow over her head.

I sat up and pulled it off.

"Just listen to me."

"No!"

"Sam, just hear me out on this."

"No!"

"What's wrong?"

"No!"

"Sam, that wasn't a yes/no question.

"No!"

I slid my hand under her shoulder, turned her face-up, and leaned over her.

"Please, just talk to me about this, Sam. Please? Is it because...do you feel that...it's selfish for you to have an orgasm in front of me...when I can't?"

No response.

I pushed her tangled blonde hair away from her eyes. "Because I _swear_ I don't mind. After all, watching is almost as much fun as doing...otherwise, porn wouldn't be so popular. Wait...is that it? Do you think that me 'helping you' would make me get too excited?"

She shook her head and immediately rolled over onto her stomach again.

I slid across the bed, gently pushed her T-shirt up, and began to rub her back.

She flinched; but at least she didn't push me away.

"Shh...everything is okay. I promise. Just relax. Oh, wow, your shoulders are so tight."

No response.

"Come on, Sam; don't be like this. Come back here."

She sighed.

And I very carefully rolled her over onto her back and, with some difficulty, was able to move her back over to my side of the bed.

She lay with an arm across her eyes, not looking at me.

Ignoring that, I leaned over and gently kissed her lips.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

Her right arm moved up and joined her left one. "I'm n-not upset."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I j-just don't want to..."

I slowly moved her arms off her face.

And then I rolled over and lay, diagonally, across her chest.

"Carls, you shouldn't be-"

"It's okay...look, there's no pressure on my stomach right now."

Without looking, she slid her hand under me easily, and felt the gap between my stomach and the mattress.

I moved a hand up into her hair. "Are you sure you're not mad at me?"

Staring at the ceiling, she shook her head...and then wrapped her arms around my back.

I let her pull me close. "Sam, I'm sorry. I just wanted to offer...you know...because I love you so much."

She looked at me. "Oh."

"Can you tell me why you don't want me to...to do this for you?"

"I...I don't want to talk about it."

I sighed silently. "Okay. We won't talk about it anymore. Goodnight, Sam."

"Goodnight, Carls."

And then she saw the way I was glancing down at her lips.

And she raised her head.

Keeping my kisses strictly closed-mouthed, I moved my other hand back into her hair, and was relieved that her hand didn't find its way onto my breast again.

I continued to hold back...way, _way_ back...as I kissed her, and after a few minutes, I felt her body relaxing under mine.

And then, to my surprise, she opened her mouth again...

...and so did I.

Determined to keep my wits about me, I made sure not to push her in any way...and then, after several minutes of restrained kissing...I decided to try an experiment. I reached down and rested my free hand between her breasts, on the outside of her T-shirt. When she didn't say anything, I very gently caressed up and down between them several times.

And then I stopped.

No resistance.

So far so good.

I then reached down and, sliding my hand palm-up between Sam and the mattress, I slowly - and very politely - caressed her backside for a few seconds...and then withdrew my hand.

"Mmmfgrt pltmnd tchrmflr..."

Her lips were still against mine, so I had no idea what she'd just said. "Are you okay?" I whispered.

She nodded.

And then I felt her palms tentatively begin to caress my own backside.

"Yes," I whispered into her ear.

I leaned down and kissed her for a moment...

...and, as I pulled away, I rested my hand back between her breasts.

After moving it up and down several times...

...without her freaking out...

...I did it again...

...and then stopped.

"Are you okay, Sam?"

Without answering, she leaned up and kissed me.

I reached down, caressed her cleavage again for a moment...

...and then stopped, moving my hand away, and pulling her into a close hug. "See? There's nothing to worry about."

She nodded..._slowly_...but she nodded.

Tilting my head to one side, I began gently and repeatedly kissing her neck...

...and heard her soft gasp...

...as I felt something - two somethings actually - pushing against my chest.

It was time for Phase Five.

So I moved over and lay down next to her.

Keeping one hand moving, non-stop, in her hair, to keep her relaxed, I continued to kiss her, as a distraction...

...while lifting the bottom of her T-shirt slightly.

And then I gently began to rub her stomach, staying away from her sides, especially the spots right above her hips, where I know she's incredibly ticklish.

To my surprise, she didn't try to stop me...

... and after a couple of minutes, I actually heard a sigh.

"Sam?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you getting your period?"

She frowned. "Next week. Why?"

"Your stomach feels a little bloated."

"Oh, that's probably those three bowls of fettuccine Bolognese, and the huge Caesar salad, and all that garlic bread, and the chocolate mousse..._and_ Jack and Rose!"

We both laughed.

Hands still moving, I gave her my most winning smile. "You're such a genius, Sam! The credit for today's victory is ninety-nine percent yours."

She leaned over and kissed me. "Genius? Me? Well, thanks. I've been called worse...a lot worse."

I raised my head and looked down into her eyes. "I love you so much."

She leaned up and kissed me.

I removed my hand from her hair and cupped it behind my ear.

She sighed in exasperation. "I love you too, Carls."

"That's so nice to hear," I said with a smile...

...as my hand found its way back into her hair...

...and I lowered my lips to hers...

...as I continued to caress her stomach...

...while slowly - and gradually - beginning to ease my fingers under the top of her nautical flag boxer shorts...

...which were already sitting low on her hips.

I leaned over and whispered, "If you ever have bad cramps again, and you want me to rub your stomach for you...just say the word, okay?"

She nodded.

I kissed her.

She kissed me back.

I focused hard on keeping her relaxed, while slowly and gently caressing her stomach; moving imperceptibly lower and lower, more than willing to take as long as necessary.

From the way she was kissing me, she didn't seem to notice.

I paid close attention to her breathing (which was becoming increasingly rapid) and to her body's reactions to my touch...ready to pull back immediately if she tensed up...but the combination of PG-rated kisses, and fondling her hair, seemed to be distracting her from the fact that my other hand was very gradually circling its way down to her lower abdomen...

...until, finally, it was caressing just above the top edge of her public hair.

I leaned over. "Sam?"

She opened her eyes. "Yeah?"

"How do you feel?"

She leaned up and kissed me...

...and then she tried to turn over onto her side, but I used my upper body to gently push her down onto her back once again...

...as I leaned over her once more and my lips found their way back onto her neck.

Over and over.

And then, glancing downward...

...I saw her bend her knees...

...and dig her heels into the mattress...

...and then, I felt her pelvis shifting under my hand...

...repeatedly...

...and I felt a series of soft gasps against my lips.

And then...

...as I kept my hand moving in her hair...

...and my lips moving against her neck...

...I decided that it was 'now or never', so...

..._Even Though I Most Certainly _Had Not _Been Invited To_...

...I decisively moved my hand down into the gap between her open legs.

And she gasped...

...as her eyes snapped open...

...and her thighs snapped shut.

Trapping me.

"Carls!"

And I couldn't believe what I felt...

...against_ both sides_ of my hand.

Adhering to the back was her absolutely-soaked boxers...so unbelievably saturated...and in all directions...that, as they clung to the back of my hand...

...it felt exactly like she had wet her pants.

But that was nothing compared to what I felt against the front.

Her thighs were clamped so tightly around my hand that it was shoved up against the outside of her outer lips...

...which were steadily leaking...

...an astonishing amount of slick, warm wetness...

...into my cupped fingers.

Poor Sam.

Poor me.

Because the realization of what I'd been causing to happen between her legs both shocked and paralyzed me...

...momentarily, but completely...

...and I lay next to her...

...helplessly unable to move...

...as I suddenly felt a long stream of something hot, sticky and wet...

...force its way out of my vagina.

And all I could think about was how badly I wanted my nightshirt and panties _off_ me...

...and her fingers_ in _me.

Now.

"Oh, Sam...oh, God, yes," I breathed against her ear.

"NO!"

Not realizing that she had trapped my hand so completely that I couldn't have removed it, even if I'd wanted to (which I most definitely _did not_)...

...she took hold of my wrist and tried to pull me away from her...

...failing utterly.

"Carls! Let go of me!"

"Shh..."

"Stop it! I don't want...

"Shh...just relax for me. This is going to feel good..._so _good."

"But, I don't want-"

I moved my free hand from her hair onto the front of her shoulder.

"Shh. Just lie back. I'm not going to do anything to hurt you. I'm not even going to go 'up inside', if that's what you're afraid of. I promise."

"Move your hand! Now!"

I lowered my voice and leaned down to her ear. "Sam...I know the reason why you haven't been sleeping well lately."

"Leave me alone! Get off me!"

"You used to 'do yourself' every night before going to bed...didn't you?"

"Carls, no!"

"Yes. You did. I know that you did."

"Let go!"

"Shh...everything is fine. Just a few more minutes...and you'll feel so much better."

She opened her mouth to protest...

...but I gently pressed my fingers against it...

...as I deliberately moved the index finger of my other hand forward.

She gasped audibly...

...as it sank effortlessly between her slippery outer lips.

Trying desperately to keep me from going any further...

...she closed her thighs so hard that they began shaking...

...which only pushed my hand up against her even more tightly.

I then discovered that...

...even though I couldn't have moved my hand away...

...I had no trouble sliding it upward.

To this day, I'm still not sure if all girls are designed exactly the same; but during _past adventures in self-exploration,_ I had discovered that my 'special spot' is up at the top of my vagina, on the left side of my clitoris.

And now I knew that hers is, too.

As my finger pressed against her there, she gasped, and I knew I had found exactly the right place.

And I began to move it up and down against her...

.._.there_...

...over and over and over.

She dug her heels into the mattress and tried to slide out from under me.

I didn't let her.

"Stop it, Carls! Stop it right now!"

"I'm sorry, Sam...but I can't. We both know that this is the best thing for you _right now_."

"No!"

"Yes, Sam. You need to let me."

Through her ragged breathing she gasped, "Carls, stop it! I can't!"

"Yes. You can. We both know that you want to...and that you need to."

"But-"

"So just lie back...and let me take care of you."

She finally realized that her thighs were holding my hand where it was, so she opened her legs, reached downward, and tried to grab my wrist.

But I blocked her with my upper body.

"It's going to be okay. Just let me-"

"No! I'm not even slightly in the mood to-"

"Sam...why are you so wet?" I asked...

...as I easily pressed a second finger inside her...

...and began to rub them in against the base of both sides of her clitoris.

"GET OFF ME!"

And then she put both of her hands on my shoulders...

...and managed to push me up and away from herself.

I rapidly pulled my hand out of her boxers and just managed to catch my balance; and as I did, I felt her sliding out from under me. With a sound somewhere between a gasp and a sob, she immediately rolled over onto her stomach, ending up on the far side of the bed.

"Sam?"

No response.

"Sam?"

Silence.

I stared at her...

...lying there...

...with her face buried deeply in her pillow.

And, as I listened to her incredibly-unsteady breathing...

...and watched her entire body shaking uncontrollably...

...the realization of what had just happened hit me.

Hard.

Oh, my God. What have I done?

I began crawling over toward her so fast that, before I was even halfway across the bed, I felt a stabbing pain in my stomach and collapsed onto my face. "Ow! Oh, ow! Oh, God, Sam...I...I'm _so, so sorry_!"

No response.

"Don't you believe me?"

Silence.

"Sam, I don't know what to say anymore! I don't know what to do anymore! Things between us aren't supposed to be this way! They could be so much better...if you'll just talk to me!"

She shook her head.

I was trying as hard as I could not to cry. "Please...if you'll just tell me what's wrong...I promise you that I'll do anything and everything I can to help fix it."

"Carls...just drop it," she mumbled into her pillow.

"I can't! If you love me as much as you_ claim_ _to_-"

She whipped her head up and around...

...and gave me an incredibly hurt look.

Fuck.

Horrible choice of words.

"Sam, I'm really,_ really_ sorry! I...I just don't understand why you won't let me be with you. If I knew _why_ it would be so much easier. I wouldn't constantly be afraid of saying or doing anything that might upset you. And I'd have some idea of what I could do to make you feel better...you know...intimately...no matter what those things might or might not be.

"So will you _please_ just tell me what's bothering you? All I want is to make you happy and if you'll open up...even a little...then I can try to-"

I stopped speaking.

Because of the expression I saw on her face.

It broke my heart.

And I knew what I had to say next...

...even though I absolutely did not want to.

"Sam...I'm really sorry to ask you this, but...were you ever...sexually abused? And, now...maybe it scares you to let me touch-"

She looked highly offended. "No. I wasn't. And we can't have this conversation, Carls."

"Not tonight?"

Without answering, she got up off the bed...

...and reached for a pillow.

"No, Sam! Please don't sleep on the couch! I'm really, really sorry! For everything!"

Frantic, I reached over and grabbed onto her boxers, accidentally pulling them down off her butt.

"Hey! Let go!"

"Please! I'm sorry for trying to push you! I...I won't touch you there, anymore! I won't touch you _anywhere_...if that's what you want! I promise! Please just stay here with me tonight! Please! _I'm begging you!_"

She stopped resisting...

...and allowed me to pull her down onto the bed...

...sitting on the edge of it...

...staring at the floor...

...with her back to me.

"Sam?"

No answer.

"Sam...when I was crawling over to you, I felt a really sharp pain in my stom-"

She immediately turned around and, even though she didn't speak, I saw her looking at me with genuine concern in her eyes.

"-so, will you please help me over, onto my back? I don't think I can do it by myself."

Without hesitating, she slid over to where I was, and very carefully helped me roll over; and then she gently moved me back onto my pillow.

But, before she was able to sit back up, I grabbed on tightly to the front of her T-shirt...

...as I tried to look into her eyes.

But she was looking down at my clenched hands.

I took a deep breath. "Please tell me. I promise to be understanding...no matter what. Even if it's something really, really horrible."

She shook her head, and tried to move away, but I gently pulled her closer, until her face was just inches from mine...

...and looked at her with imploring eyes.

Which she ignored.

"Okay. I understand that you don't want to talk right now, but please just listen to me."

Silently, she lifted her eyes and then looked down into mine.

"Sam...I...I want you to...to 'do yourself'. Go up to the studio and lock yourself in. Get comfortable on a beanbag...drag it over into a corner...away from the glass door."

She opened her mouth, but closed it again when I shook my head.

"Please, please just let me finish. You don't have to say _anything_. Spencer's helping Socko paint his entire apartment, so he won't be home all night; which means you definitely don't have to worry about anyone walking in on you."

She shook her head and closed her eyes.

But I wasn't finished.

"Please...just do it...and then come back to bed. I swear I won't even _try_ to touch you..._at all..._for the rest of the night. Not at all."

She hung her head. "I...can't."

"Yes you can. I promise you that I won't be upset, or even ask you _anything_ about it. We'll pretend it never happened...both of us...and you'll feel so much better. It's so important to me that you feel better."

"I...don't want to."

I took a deep breath. "Sam we both know how wet you are right now. We _both_ know how badly you need to do this. _Right now_. So, please-."

She put her hands over her face and shook her head fiercely.

I let go of her shirt and, wrapping my arms around her back, I pulled her close, and felt her body shaking against mine.

"Are you okay?"

She shook her head again.

"You know, if you want to cry, it's okay. I'll just hold you and-"

She tried to pull away, but I tightened my arms. "Please, Sam. You need some outlet...any outlet...for your stress...and you don't have to be embarrassed. Come on...just cry for-"

"No."

"Sam, it will be so-"

Shaking her head, she released herself from my arms...

...and got off the bed again.

"Sam don't leave! Please!"

"I'm...just going to the bathroom."

I watched as she pulled a pair of dry boxer shorts out of her duffel bag, and left the room to clean-up and change.

She was back in less than five minutes, and the expression on her face confirmed that she hadn't had any 'fun' while she was gone. Without a word, she climbed back into bed.

"Sam...can I kiss you goodnight?"

No answer.

"Please, Sam?"

She moved even farther away from me, over to the far edge of the bed.

"Sam?"

"Goodnight, Carls."

She didn't turn around.

XXXXX

SAM:

It must have been around two am that I woke up to find my right arm hanging over the edge of the bed; and, as a result, my right shoulder was incredibly stiff. As I rolled over onto my back and rubbed it, my sluggish mind gradually began to un-fog...

...and then...

...the evening and all of its incredibly fucked-up details came rushing back to me...

...but they vanished just as rapidly as they had appeared...

...when I realized what had actually woken me up.

It was Carly's rapid, shallow breathing.

Alarmed, I immediately rolled over onto my right side and by the dim glow of the table lamp, I saw her lying on her back with her eyes closed. Her head was tilted back and her covers were thrown off, down below her knees.

And her entire body was trembling...

...violently...

...as she pulled up her nightshirt...

...and, moments later...

...she slid her hand down inside the front of her underwear.

At first I thought that lying on her stomach earlier had made it hurt, and that she was going to rub it...

...but then as I watched, my concern turned to fear...

...as I saw her hand sliding down between her legs.

"Carls...no!"

Eyes still closed, she ignored me, moving her legs apart...

...as her hand moved even lower.

In one move, I had rolled across the bed and was leaning over her. "Carls? Carls! Stop that!"

She opened her eyes, but was looking up at the ceiling, as both her hand and her hips started to move...

...in a very unmistakeable way.

"Sam I have to! I need it so badly! Right now!"

I tried my hardest to remain calm. "No, Carls. You know you can't."

She ignored me.

I reached down and pulled her hand out of her underwear...

...tightening my grip as she began to struggle.

"Let go of me!"

"No."

"I have to! I'm so stressed right now!"

"You can't do this."

"Sam, please! Just once! Just this once...I promise!"

"And what did you 'just promise' _me,_ a few days ago?"

She looked near tears. "I swear I've tried...I've tried so hard! But it's been almost a year now...and with all the stress...you have no idea-"

"No, Carls. I won't let-."

"It can't be bad to do it! It feels so good there when we...when I start to...to get-"

When it became obvious that she wasn't going to listen to reason...

...I began to panic.

"I can't let you! It's way too dangerous! And you know it!"

"I don't care! I have all this stress! I can't sleep, and you won't even talk to me about whatever horrible thing is bothering you! It's summer, and I've had to give up _so much_! All I can do anymore is lie on my back, day after day and night after night...a complete wreck...worrying _what's_ wrong...and _why_ you won't tell me _anything_! I absolutely can't take this fucking insanity anymore!"

I tightened my grip on her wrist again. "Are you out of your mind? This isn't a paper cut that goes away after after a couple of days! You have thirty-seven stitches in your-"

"_Sam, I Have To!"_

She tried to pull her arm away, but I grabbed her by both wrists, pinned her arms above her head, and leaned down until I was looking directly into her eyes.

"Don't you realize how serious your injury is? Don't you understand what any more trauma to that area might do to you? Don't you care if you rip out your stitches..._Again_?"

"You don't care, Sam! So why should I?"

The entire bed began trembling...

...but I don't know who was shaking harder...

...me or her...

...as I yelled, "Don't you _dare_ say that I don't care about you!"

"Then why won't you talk to me? If you would, then maybe I wouldn't be so completely stressed out!"

"Carls...I...I..."

"Well? Are you going to talk to me?"

"I...I..."

"See? You don't care! So I'm going to-"

"Carls, don't you even-"

"I can! And I will! Maybe not this second...but I'm going to! The first chance I get and that's a guarantee! You can't watch me 24/7!"

I lost it.

"Don't you want this to fucking end? Don't you _ever_ want to get out of this fucking bed?"

She yanked her right arm away from me and shoved her hand back into her underwear.

I yanked it right back out. "Stop that!"

"No! And you can't make me!"

She tried to pull away, but I maintained my vice-like grip on her wrist. She wrenched her other hand free and tried to use it on herself, so I grabbed both wrists and wrestled her arms down to her sides, holding them flat against the mattress as she struggled against me.

"Take your God-damned hands off me! Right this min-"

"J-just listen to me, Carls-"

She stopped moving for a moment. "Oh, so now you're _finally_ going to talk to me? It took you long enough! So, exactly what _is_ your fucking problem anyway, Sam? Because, believe me, I'm all ears!"

"L-look, Carls..."

"Come on, Sam...while we're young!"

"Carls..."

"Tick tick tick tick..."

"Shut up, Carls! _Just Shut Up_!"

"That shouldn't be hard...since I have such a pro to emulate! Don't I?"

Suddenly, I came (halfway) to my senses.

Oh, God! What the hell are we doing?

She saw me looking down at her in stunned silence.

"Don't I, Sam?"

Although trying as hard as possible, I couldn't think, let alone respond.

She lifted her head and yelled into my face, "Answer me, God damn it!"

I somehow managed to force my brain back to a semi-rational state. "C-carls...once your stitches come out...then y-you can ask the doctor if he thinks it's okay for you to have an org-"

"Oh, now let me see if I have this straight. I have to wait two whole weeks before I can even _ask _about it? I can't wait that long...and even if I could...what if he still says 'no'?"

"Carls..."

"You don't care...so just leave me alone!"

"I _do_ care!"

She started to cry.

Hard.

"No you don't! Why don't you love me?"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Of course I do! How can you even-"

"No! You don't! Or else you'd talk to me about what's bothering you!"

"_This _is bothering me!"

'You know that's not what I mean, Sam! Why won't you let me touch you? Why won't you 'do yourself'? Why won't you even discuss _any_ of it? If you would, I'd have so much less stress! Maybe then I wouldn't be so desperate to...do this!"

"I...I..."

"Please, Sam! Please just talk to me! Please! That's all I'm asking of you!"

I lay on top of her, both of us breathing heavily. "I just can't, Carls! Okay!"

She managed to throw off my hands and tried to push me off her. "Fine! If you won't do what I'm _asking_ of you then I _refuse_ to do what you're_ demanding_ of me!"

"Carls!"

"Sam, Talk To Me!"

"No! And I want you to promise me right now that you won't-"

"No! I'm not going to promise you _anything!_ I _need _to have a fucking orgasm, and I _want _to have a fucking orgasm, _and_ _I'm going to have a fucking orgasm_...and you can't do a fucking thing about it!"

"Promise me, that you won't, Carls!"

"No!"

"Promise me! Right Now!"

"_I can't...and I won't! So Fuck Off!_"

CARLY:

She had been shaking badly...

...all through our argument...

...but then, immediately after I said those last words...

...her body stilled completely...

...and I saw the change in her face...

...and the quiet determination in her eyes.

And suddenly, I was very, very afraid.

And when she finally spoke, it was in a calm, flat...yet terrifying voice. "You have no idea how much it hurts me to tell you this Carls..."

"W-what?"

"If you can't promise me...right now...then...

"...no more kisses."

And every last ounce of strength left my body, and I found myself struggling to breathe. "Sam! No!"

And, as I looked up...

...I froze...

...overwhelmingly devastated...

...as I realized that I didn't recognize the person staring back at me...

...with empty eyes.

"No More, Carls. _At All_."

"Y-you don't mean that!"

"I do."

"F-for...how long?"

I lay beneath her with my heart hammering as she paused, for what seemed an eternity.

Finally, she answered.

"Forever."

And...

...within seconds...

...my entire world was in ruins.

"Please, Sam, no! Please don't take that away from me!"

"You're leaving me no option."

"Sam, no! Please don't break up with me! Please!"

"Carls look at me. Promise me right now that you're not going to even think about-"

"I _can't_ promise! I need this so badly! You know I do!"

"You have to make a decision."

"Sam...I love you...so much!"

"Carls, my mind is made up."

"NO!"

"Yes. It's finally time for you to accept the fact that actions have consequences."

I could barely articulate what I said next. "W-why are you being so h-horrible to me? I thought you loved me!"

And suddenly, her face was two inches from mine.

"I DO! OR I'D _NEVER_ BE SAYING THIS! IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT? _IS IT_!"

"Sam...I love you! I swear I do! I just..._have to_-"

She jerked up into a seated position, and tried to slide off me, but I grabbed the front of her shirt with both hands and held on as hard as I could.

She frantically tried to pry my fingers open. "Let go!"

"No! I just want to-"

She stopped focusing on her shirt-front and looked up at me. "Fine, Carls! If 'getting off' right now means more to you than I do...then I'll just clear out of here! For good! Right Now!"

And she tried to pull her shirt off...

...but I yanked her closer to me.

"Sam! You don't really mean that!"

"I Do! And you can orgasm as many fucking times as you want to... until your fucking uterus _falls out_!"

"Sam! NO!"

"So take your hands off me, and shove them back down between your legs...

"...where they obviously belong...

"...and I won't _ever_ bother you again by caring what happens to you..._or_ by looking out for you..._or_ by trying to help you...and then you can enjoy your stress-free, Sam-free life! And I'll just spend all my freed-up time and attention making sure that I stay as far away from you as possible...at all times...so I don't ruin your_ Fucking Perfect World _with my annoying and unwanted pres-"

"OH, GOD, SAM! NO MORE! STOP IT! PLEASE! I SWEAR I WON'T...DO IT!"

SAM:

Shaking violently, I leaned over her. "Are you sure, Carls? Are you absolutely sure?"

"Y-yes. Please don't leave me! I love you! So much! I really do!"

I finally managed to remove her hands from my shirt and sat back, breathing heavily. "Well then, if you _really_ love me...then don't make me do this...to either of us."

She held out her arms.

I reached down, took hold of them, and pulled her up against me...

...and she held onto me tightly as she buried her face against my chest and cried.

"I'm so sorry Sam...I'm so sorry! Please don't hate me!"

And then...

...sitting with my arms straight down at my sides...

...instead of around her, where they should have been...

...I realized that I was _not_ very proud of my behavior.

But something deep inside my core absolutely refused to let me drop my defenses.

So instead, I made sure she knew that I was still pissed-off.

"Carls, you know I don't! I didn't even want to say that to you...but I had to! Don't you understand how serious-"

I could feel her tears beginning to soak through the front of my shirt.

"S-sam, I know that I'm not supposed to! I'm so sorry...for what I said! And for what I tried to do! I _know_ I promised you that I'd...I'd do everything you told-"

She pulled back and tried to look into my eyes...

...but I just stared past her shoulder at the wall. "Yes. You did."

"Sam...please don't leave me!"

When I answered, it was in a very detached tone of voice. "I won't."

"Promise me!"

"I...shouldn't have said-"

"Not ever?"

Still not looking at her, I shook my head.

And she started to bawl.

"S-sam, I'm so sorry! I was wrong! Please don't leave! You're everything to me! _Everything_!"

And, as I watched her fall apart, I felt horrible.

For what I'd said to her.

And for what I couldn't say to her.

So I said what I could.

"Come on...don't cry. You're not supposed to get upset. But, you have to promise me-"

She took hold of my wrists and tried to pull my arms up, and around herself...

...but I continued to keep them stiff...

...and straight down at my sides...

...even though her eyes were pleading with me to hold her.

"Sam...I'm so sorry about...all of this!"

"I believe you."

She buried her face in my shoulder. "Then will you...talk to me?"

"I...can't."

"Please, Sam?"

Instead of answering...

...I carefully pushed her down onto her back...

...kissed her forehead...

...and pulled her covers up...

...before moving over onto my pillow.

Her sobs gradually became less frequent...

...and eventually stopped...

...and then her breathing evened out...

...as she fell into an uneasy sleep.

But I didn't...

...because I realized that I couldn't allow this to happen again...

...because I, finally yet reluctantly, acknowledged that there was only one solution to this problem.

So I spent the rest of the night tossing and turning...

...completely incapable of sleep...

...and I reflected on the coming morning...

...dreading what I now knew I had to do.

XXXXX

CARLY:

The next morning, I became increasingly uneasy, and then incredibly worried, because Sam wasn't speaking _at all_ when we woke up...or while we were in the bathroom.

Once she had silently helped me back into bed, I took hold of her hand, and looked up at her...

...imploringly...

...but she removed it from mine, grabbed her phone, and wordlessly headed downstairs.

When she came into the room twenty minutes later, she was empty-handed.

And something was...

...without a doubt...

...very wrong.

"Sam, where's breakfast? There's no way we ate all those Fat Cakes in one evening."

She was avoiding my eyes. "We didn't."

"Oh, no. Don't tell me that Spencer hid them...or locked them up again?"

She shook her head.

"Then where-"

And then, with a sigh, she sat down on the edge of the bed. "This doesn't have anything to do with Fat Cakes. Carls, we...have to talk."

And then, as she turned and looked into my eyes...I froze,_ in terror_, at what I saw in her own.

I'd only ever seen it once before, when I told her off for announcing to the world that Freddie had never kissed anyone; but even though I'd only seen it once, there was no mistaking it.

And I could only think of one reason why it would be there.

She had told him.

She had told him about my flipping out last night.

He had, during our Very Serious Discussion, promised me that Sam would give him detailed daily updates on my attitude and my level of cooperation...why didn't I remember that at the time? Why didn't I think before I had-

-oh, God! Now they're going to force me to go back into the hospital!

For my own good.

Both she and Dr. Anderson had _sworn_ to me that this was going to happen...

...but I had, once again, completely ignored them.

And, now that he knew how I had _totally freaked out_, and completely disobeyed _everything_ he'd ordered me to do...

...he'd insist on strapping me down to the bed...

...and, now that she had seen me_ totally freak out, _and completely disobey _everything_ she'd ordered me to do...

...she'd definitely let him...

...and, when they tell Spencer how I totally freaked out, and completely disobeyed _everthing_ they'd ordered me to do...

...and that I now_ have _to wear diapers...

...and _have_ to be strapped down to the bed for my own safety...

...so I don't permanently harm myself...

...he's definitely going to allow it.

And there's going to be Absolutely Nothing that I can do about it.

"Sam...I-"

She bit her lower lip...

...and I stopped speaking...

...as she leaned forward and buried her head in her hands.

Oh, my God!

After two minutes spent staring at her, both of us silent...

...I wanted to grab her and shake her and yell...

...but I couldn't...

...since I was in more than enough trouble already.

Finally, head still bowed, she spoke. "I...just had a...long discussion with Dr. Anderson."

My entire body went numb. "W-what did he say?"

She slowly lifted her head...

...and looked up at me...

...with the most somber expression I've ever seen...

A/N: Reviews = Inspiration...


	9. Chapter 9

..and once again, I clearly saw the _Deep Regret_ in her eyes.

"Carls, I...I..."

"Sam! What did he say?"

"He...he said-"

She faltered.

"Sam, no! Please, no! I don't want to-"

She laid a hand on my arm and exhaled shakily.

"He said...to tell you...that...he's really proud of you for giving me absolutely no trouble whatsoever...and for you to keep up the good work...and Carls...about last night...I _Deeply Regret _what I said to you-mmmph!"

My lips crashed into hers as I tackled her backward onto the bed.

"Car-mmmph!"

Her hands were against the front of my shoulders, trying to move me away from her mouth, so she could continue; but I kept kissing her, non-stop...

...not because I was (for the first time in my life) thrilled to be Spectacularly Wrong...

...even though I most definitely was_ both_...

...but not letting her speak...

...because I needed time...

...to make a difficult decision.

On the one hand, I was well aware that she didn't owe me any apology at all...because she'd had every right to get upset after the way I'd acted.

But, on the other hand...

...I knew that it was imperative for her to apologize anyway...

...even though it would be difficult for both of us...

...because there was something that she desperately needed to see.

So I decided to let her.

I lifted my head and looked down into her eyes.

She hesitated, and then began, "Carls...I'm sorry-"

Not wanting to seem presumptuous, I pretended to be confused.

"You're sorry? For lying to him?"

"No. I...never apologized to you last night."

I moved off her and she sat up.

She tried several times to look into my eyes, but finally realized that it was impossible, so instead she settled on staring down at my hands.

She took a deep breath.

"Carls, I know I'm not the world's most patient person...but I've been trying really really hard...but I _still_ screwed up...and I'm really, really sorry for threatening to...to-"

She stopped and wiped her eyes on the back of her hand. "I don't want to leave you...not ever!"

I reached over and pulled her close to me. "Shh...it's okay."

I felt her body shaking against mine. "No, it's not."

I began to run my hand through her hair, as I said softly, "Yes it is. I promise."

When she spoke, I clearly heard the emotion creeping into her voice...

...even though she was obviously trying to hide it.

"W-will you f-forgive me?"

I leaned back...

...and she finally managed to look up into my eyes.

I smiled understandingly.

"There's nothing for me to forgive. And you don't have to say anything else about it, or feel bad about it ever again, okay?"

She nodded.

SAM:

I'm so glad that's over.

If there's one thing I _dread_...

...it's knowing that I have to apologize.

CARLY:

I rested my head on her shoulder.

It was my turn.

But I didn't mean to sound so childish.

"Sam I'm sorry! I know that I was a really, really bad girl last night. There's absolutely no excuse for what I said and did...I'm so sorry! I don't know how you put up with-

Her hands found my upper arms...

...and she pushed me away from her shoulder...

...and pulled me toward her lips.

She leaned away and smiled at me.

"-me and I'm really, really sor-"

Her lips cut me off again.

But I pushed myself away. "Are you still mad at me?"

"Carls, how can you even ask me that?"

"I...just wanted to make sure."

"Come on...you _know_ that I'm not."

And she pulled me close to her once more.

I buried my face in her shoulder. "I'm going to try harder from now on, I promise...okay?"

She lowered her head onto my shoulder. "I will too, Carls. I promise."

My hands found their way up under the back of her T-shirt...

...and after a few minutes of caressing her back, I felt her relax against me.

Time to point out the obvious.

I pulled back and looked into her eyes.

"See Sam? You just apologized to me...something that you thought was horrible...and was going to end horribly...and nothing bad happened. Nothing. I'm really sorry that we argued, but I'm glad that we talked it over, because now I feel so much closer to you."

She looked at me without answering...

...but it was obvious from the expression on her face, that she knew I was right.

I gently pushed her down onto her back, and then crawled up on top of her body and stretched out on top of her, with my face inches from hers.

"Do you see how much better things between us are now? And the two of talking, intimately, definitely helped make it that way."

She opened her mouth to speak but I pressed my fingers against it, and shook my head.

"Shh. You don't have to say anything right now. I just want you to think about it. Okay?"

She nodded.

I smiled down at her. "So, if you ever want to say anything personal to me...anything at all-"

She immediately moved my hand away from her mouth.

"I love you Cupcake..._so much_. I know I don't say nearly as often as I should-"

SAM:

And she burst into tears.

I sat up and pulled her close, as she flung her arms around me.

"S-s-sam!"

"Don't cry! Come on."

She kept sobbing.

"Carls, please."

More sobbing.

"Carls?"

Non-stop sobs.

Desperate to snap her of it, I grabbed her hand, slid it up under my shirt, and moved it back and forth over my bare boobs, while I looked at her with my most shocked expression.

"Carly Shay! Are you 'feeling me up'? Stop that right now, you nasty, nasty girl!"

No response (except more sobbing).

Oh, man...what to do now?

I couldn't think of a single thing to try.

So I moved her hand away from my chest and hugged her...as tightly as I dared.

"Don't cry, Carls. Please? You're already so stressed out. Get well first, and then I promise I'll let you cry all over me...and get me completely covered with slobber and snot!"

That did it.

She lifted her head, and said, with a watery smile, "Y-you're s-so eloquent."

I let go of her, pulled up the bottom of my shirt, and used it to dry her eyes.

Her lower lip was still trembling. "S-sam, I'm sorry for acting like such a baby. I wish I knew how to be as strong and secure as-"

"Shh." I held out my arms...

...and she moved into them...

...and I held her close until she stopped trembling.

"Carls?"

She raised her head from my chest and looked at me.

I let go of her we both sat up.

I reached over and rested my hand against her cheek. "As far as last night goes, can we b-both pretend that it never happened?"

She looked confused.

"Last night, Sam? Wh-what are you talking about? Did I miss something?"

And she let me pull her into my shaking arms...

...while kindly ignoring the sniffling sounds I was making against her shoulder.

"I love you so much, Sam," she whispered. "More than I've _ever_ loved any-hey...where are you going?"

"I'll b-be right back."

I made it to the bathroom just in time.

After several minutes spent with my forehead against the bathroom wall, I finally got my shaking (and my tears) under control.

And then, leaning against the sink, I washed all the slobber and snot from my own face.

And then I brought a damp cloth back into the bedroom and washed hers.

CARLY:

Sam tossed the washcloth into my open hamper and turned back to face me.

"Are we...okay now?" She asked, tentatively.

Split-second decision time.

I looked directly into her eyes. "Almost."

She looked confused. "What do you mean...almost?"

"Sam, lie down."

"Why?"

I frowned at her. "Don't ask questions. Lie down."

"But-"

"Now, Sam."

She did.

And I immediately reached over and unbuttoned, and then unzipped, her khaki cargo shorts.

"Carls, what are you doing?" she asked...

...as I pushed them down over her hips.

"Carls? Don't you want to have breakfast before we take a nap?"

"Sam, roll over onto your stomach."

"But..."

"Sam. Stomach. Now."

She looked at me in defiant confusion. "No, I'm not going to-"

"Sam, don't make me have to say it again."

"No. I won't roll over until you tell me wh-"

I raised my eyebrows. "I thought you said you were sorry about last ni-"

A look of alarm quickly spread across her face. "Okay, okay!"

She rolled over.

I leaned over.

"Carls, no!" she yelled...

...as I immediately grabbed the top of her boxers...

...with both hands...

...and shoved them all the way down to her knees...

...and then pressed my palms firmly against the small of her back...

...holding her stationary...

...as I stared down at her bare butt cheeks...

...with steely determination.

"Carls...what the hell are you-"

I answered her in my most ominous tone.

"Don't question me."

She began trembling. "Y-you're not going to-"

"Sam...after everything that's just happened...I have no choice but-"

She started to struggle. "No, Carls...don't!"

I rapidly shifted...

...leaning over my palms...

...getting leverage on her...

...forcing her to remain where she was.

"Yes, Sam. You're about to get exactly what you deserve. And I'm going to be the one to give it to you."

She looked back at me...over her right shoulder...terrified.

"No! I thought you said you were going to forget-"

I met her gaze calmly. "I will, Sam...right after I've finished."

"Carls, no!"

She tried to raise herself up...

...but I immediately lay diagonally across her back...

...holding her down with my entire body weight.

"Carls! Don't! Please don't!"

"Sam, I'd better not hear another word out of you...or else."

"But...but-"

"Sam, I just warned you...and you deliberately disobeyed me. That was a very bad idea."

She was trembling violently under my chest...

...as I reached down...

...with both hands...

...and listened - with utmost satisfaction - to her gasp loudly...

...as both my palms made contact with her backside...

...immediately making her gasp turn to laughter...

...as I began to jiggle her butt.

"Carls! Stop! HA! That tic-"

"No, Sam. I have no intention of stopping."

"Stop! Please! I promise I won't ever-"

And then I realized that...

...it's time to show her who's the boss...

..so I decided to crank things up a notch...

...and speak to her in a way that leaves absolutely no doubt as to who's in control.

"Sam, you're not in a position to negotiate!" (Oh, Carly...you're such a wit(!)

"Carls, stop! I'm-Ha!- begging-you!"

"No! I haven't finished with you yet...and I don't expect to be...not anytime soon!"

"St-ha-ha-op!" she shrieked.

"Puckett, the more you argue with me, the longer I'm going to drag this out! All day, if necessary! So zip your lip! Right Now!"

"No-ho-ho-ho! Car-ha-ha-ha! Pl-he-he-he-eese!"

Nearly five minutes later...

...when she was laughing so hard that I was afraid that she was going to wet the bed...

...I finally rolled her over onto her back.

Resisting the urge to sneak a peek at her crotch, I instead directed my gaze upward, leaning over until my face was inches from hers; and then looking down at her with my 'sternest' expression.

"Sam, pull your pants up! Now! And I hope you've learned your les-"

Her lips cut me off.

SAM:

As soon as I'd finished zipping my shorts, I rubbed my aching sides and looked up at her.

"Carls...there _is_ something else I'd like to talk to you about-"

I watched, relieved, as the 'vicious' expression immediately slid off her face...

...and then...

...as she smiled down at me...

...there was no mistaking the love in her eyes...

...as she leaned forward...

...silently yet eagerly.

Deep breath. "I...wanted to tell you...that I-"

CARLY:

What a great time for my stomach to decide to growl...

...loudly.

She glanced down at it, and then looked back up into my eyes. "Oh, Cupcake...I'm sorry! I've kept you waiting for breakfast. You must be really hungry."

And I bit my lip...

...as I made another split-second decision.

Even though I was dying to hear what she was about to tell me, I also realized that when Sam has a full stomach, she's usually a very happy chappy.

Which actually might be an advantage here...as she'd be less likely to get nervous and back out of starting this discussion...

...or stop in the middle of it.

So I nodded.

She sat up, clutching her sides.

Maybe I was too rough on her.

Oh well.

She had it coming.

She turned to face me. "Anyway, when I was down in the kitchen, setting up the breakfast tray; I looked in the fridge and noticed that we're out of milk. So, do you have five bucks? I'm a...uh...little short of funds at the moment."

"Sure...my wallet is over there on the desk. Take what you need."

She walked across the room.

(Okay.

Time spent making a round trip to and from the store: Approximately twelve minutes.

Time spent shopping and getting through check-out: Approximately four minutes...six if there's a line.

Time spent bringing the tray upstairs: Approximately two minutes...

...that's between eighteen and twenty minutes.

I have to work fast.)

As soon as her (adorable) butt disappeared out the door, I reached over the side of the bed and snatched my laptop off the floor.

Balancing it on my chest, I opened it and immediately Googled 'How to think like Sherlock Holmes'.

The first five or six sites were puzzles and games...

...but then I found what I was looking for.

To summarize a _very long_ dissertation:

1. A good detective uses observation and deductive reasoning to solve mysteries.

2. The small details are the most important.

3. When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

Twelve minutes later, I closed my laptop and set it back down on the floor next to the bed.

Then I lay back down and tried to put this information to practical use...

...failing utterly...

...realizing that I've already tried to eliminate every scenario that I can possibly think of...

...and I'm still no closer to an answer.

What the hell is bothering her...and why won't she tell me?

I soon heard her footsteps on the stairs...

...and I tried my hardest to give up...

...at least for now...

...but, as usual, my brain continued to grapple with the problem...

...non-stop.

Fat Cakes Rule.

After breakfast, Sam got back into bed and assumed the all-too-familiar position of her back against the headboard and her knees under her chin.

After several minutes of intensely-focused reasoning, I made the difficult decision not to step in between her and her thoughts...as she wrestled silently with them.

After maybe fifteen minutes, she looked over at me and I saw by the look in her eyes...

...that she wanted to tell me something...

...badly.

So I waited.

And waited.

And finally, to my surprise, she reached over, slid her hands under my back, and then carefully pulled me over to her, laying my head on her lap.

And sat looking silently down at me.

So I waited again.

For what seemed an eternity.

The suspense was absolutely killing me, but after having seen, time and again, that begging had little or no effect on her, I decided to give polite silence a try...

..and so I lay looking back up at her.

Finally, she spoke.

"Dr. Anderson said to ask you if you feel up to taking a few steps today."

What? That's it? That _can't_ have been the only thing she had on her mind!

But I wasn't going to be pushy.

A burned hand remembers the fire.

So I shoved those thoughts onto the back burner temporarily, and I smiled. "He did?"

"Yes...but if you don't want-"

I sat bolt upright. "Are you kidding? I'm dying to get out of this bed!"

With a nod, she got up, walked over to my dresser, and brought back my bottle of vanilla-scented moisturizer.

She gently pushed my shoulder. "Lie back down for me."

I did.

Pulling the covers off me, she knelt down next to me and, squeezing a generous amount of moisturizer into her hands, she began to massage my legs and feet.

Bliss.

"You've hardly used these muscles for awhile...I don't want you to be stiff now or sore later."

I nodded.

But, even though I loved the feeling of her hands on my lower body, my mind was much more consumed with the nagging suspicion that she had just been thinking about more than just me trying to walk.

Much more.

But what?

To my frustration, no answers of any kind presented themselves.

When she was satisfied that my muscles had been sufficiently warmed up, she had me swing my legs over the edge of the bed, and then she slid her hands under my arms and lifted me onto my feet...

...and looked at me with concern.

"Now, put your arms around my neck."

I did.

"Okay, Carls, we're going to take our time...and let me know if anything hurts, okay?"

I nodded.

And she wrapped her arms around my waist...

...and slowly started walking backwards, as I began walking forward...

...easily.

I was relieved.

She wasn't.

It wasn't hard at all, but judging from Sam's rigid body and concerned expression, it's like she expected me to fall on my butt any second.

After four or five laps around the room, she steered me back over to the bed and settled me back under the covers.

"Okay, that's enough for one day."

"But, I'm not the least bit tired," I protested.

Looking down at me, she shook her head. "No heroics, Carls; there's always tomorrow."

I decided that it was not a good time to pick a fight.

"You're absolutely right, Sam."

She leaned over me. "How do you feel?"

"Not bad at all."

With a satisfied nod, she walked around to the other side of the bed, picked up her phone from the nightstand, and headed out of the room.

"Where are you going?"

"I...have to make a call."

"Again? You just spoke to him...less than three hours a-"

She was out the door.

Damn!

Forty-five minutes later, she was back with the lunch tray.

Grilled cheese, with cheddar and bacon; and tomato soup.

Yum.

After lunch she sat, once again, with her back was against the headboard and her knees under her chin.

Motionless.

Like a friggin' Rodin statue.

While I lay next to her in frustrated, yet resigned, silence.

Finally, she moved across the bed until she was right next to me...

...and I turned my head to find her...

...lying on her side...

...looking at me apprehensively...

...for a very long time.

I lay, breathless, waiting for something to happen.

Nothing did.

So, I moved over and kissed her forehead, and then pulled back and looked into her eyes. "Is there anything you'd like to share with me?"

She hesitated...

...for almost a full minute...

...but then she (finally) nodded.

I smiled encouragingly. "What is it, honey?"

As I lay waiting, I saw and felt her entire body beginning to tremble.

I pretended not to notice.

"Whatever it is...it's okay," I whispered.

After what seemed forever, she pulled me close with one hand...

...and, after another _very_ long pause, she unzipped her shorts with the other.

And then, without a word, she reached over, took my left hand, and slid it inside her shorts.

And I felt her (dry) boxers against my palm as she pushed my hand down between her legs and then gently closed them around it.

Aw.

She really_ is_ sorry about last night.

And so am I.

So I reached down...

...and pulled up my nightshirt...

...and then I took hold of her wrist...

...and lay her left hand against the inside of my left thigh...

...and I felt her hesitatingly slide it up...

...until it was pressing up, trembling, between my legs...

...against the outside of my panties.

I gently closed my legs around it.

And then, her free arm was pulling me closer.

So I wrapped mine around her back.

And then she was looking at me...

...obviously _very scared_.

I looked down at my hand between her legs...

...and then back up...

...and smiled at her reassuringly. "Thank you for trusting me. I _promise_ not to move it."

With a nod, she closed her eyes...

...and I closed mine...

...and then, with considerable effort...

...she managed to control her fear...

and I (sort of) managed to control my compelling, insatiable lust...

...and we both fell asleep.

"Cupcake?"

"Hmm?"

"My hand is asleep. I'm sorry."

I opened my legs.

"No, it's okay," I murmured, turning my head on the pillow and glancing at the clock. It's been three hours. "Are you still tired?"

"Kind of."

"Well, let's go back to sleep then. Do you want me to move my hand?"

The look in her eyes answered my question. "Do...do you want to?"

"No, but it would be easier if we-"

I reached down with both hands...

...and pulled off her shorts...

...and then I lay back down next to her. "Is that okay?"

"Yes."

I wrapped my arms around her neck.

"Sam, thank you. That was really nice."

She looked confused. "Me touching you? Or you touching me?"

I smiled. "Both."

She leaned over and kissed me.

I kissed her back.

Repeatedly.

Fortunately, she didn't seem to mind.

And, as her mouth opened against mine...

...I suddenly felt the wetness between my legs increasing...

...substantially...

...as the already-sensitive area rapidly began to swell from desire.

And, despite my best efforts, I completely lost my self-restraint.

I leaned up and pushed my face against her chest. "Oh, Sam...I want to so badly! I'm sorry, but I do!"

She lifted her lips from my neck. "I know. I know you do."

I wrapped my arms around her back. "I...I wish there was some way..."

Her arms tightened around me. "I know."

I leaned up and kissed her again.

"Sam?" I whispered, "Please put your hand there again. Please, just for a minute! I promise I won't...you know..._I promise_!"

She bit her lower lip.

For a very long time.

And then, after what seemed to be a monumental internal struggle...

...she lay down next to me again...

...and pushed up my nightshirt.

She looked up and her eyes met mine.

"S-sam...thank you. I love it when you touch me. Even if we can't-"

Suddenly, she kissed me...

...deeply.

And, as the dull ache between my legs intensified...

...almost to the point of being unbearable...

...I began kissing her back...

...but soon stopped...

...when I felt her hand sliding back down between my legs...

...on the_ inside_ of my panties.

I gasped, moving my legs farther apart...

...as I felt her fingers gently, yet insistently, working their way downward...

...until, finally...

...instead of my pad pressing against me...

...she was.

"Oh, Sam...oh, yes...oh, please!"

"Carls look at me."

I did.

"Only for a minute, Carls. You have to promise me."

"O-okay."

She shook her head. "No, Carls. I want you to understand - completely understand - that we can't finish."

I was terrified that she was going to change her mind. "We won't finish! I won't let it happen, Sam...I swear!"

She nodded.

"Sam...I love you."

She pulled me close.

I wrapped my arms around the back of her neck...

...and, as two of her fingers sank easily between my already-wet outer lips...

...and soon found my clitoris...

...and pressed into it...

...one on either side...

...my entire body jerked violently in response.

"Oh, yes, oh, God!" I moaned into her ear.

She began to slide her fingers, rhythmically, up and down against me.

And, even though I was trying my hardest, I couldn't stop myself from making involuntary squeaking noises against her ear.

She jerked her head up. "Am I hurting you?"

"No...just the opposite...please, please don't stop!"

Her fingers were now doing the most unbelievable things to me...

...both physically and emotionally...

...as they slid against me...

...wetly and repeatedly...

...and, less than minutes later...

...I felt myself beginning to climb.

She felt it too.

"Carls? We have to-"

"No, please! Please, Sam! I'm not even...you know...halfway there!'

She stopped moving her fingers.

And it took everything I had not to cry.

"Don't look like that, Carls."

I felt tears beginning to sting my eyes.

I blinked them back.

"Sam...I...I-"

She pulled me close with her free arm. "Shh. Come on, everything is okay. Did that hurt you at all?"

Praying that she wouldn't remove her hand from inside my panties, I answered. "N-no, I promise you it didn't! It felt so unbelievably _good_."

She lowered her eyes and from the expression on her face I could tell she was thinking hard.

And so was I...

...and they were thoughts that I knew were_ not _in my best interest.

I tried my hardest to hold back...

...to refrain from asking her.

I tried _so hard _not to...

...but the urge was too overwhelming.

I absolutely had to give into it.

"Please don't be mad at me for asking you this, Sam...but could you...be inside me? Please? Just for a minute...and you don't have to move or anything while you are."

Her jaw dropped.

Shit.

Pull back, Carly.

Pull Back!

"Sam, I'm sorry! That was_ so wrong_ of me! I shouldn't even have-"

She shook her head. "No Carls. It's not that. It's just that...well, I was just going to ask you if you'd_ let me _try to-"

I couldn't believe I'd just heard.

"Do you r-really mean it, Sam?"

She exhaled shakily. "Yes. But you have to promise to tell me if it hurts at all."

"It shouldn't. We _both_ lost our virginity to Dr. Anderson's speculum."

She smiled.

"Please," I whispered.

She nodded.

My heart was pounding as I closed my eyes...

...and felt her lips on my forehead.

And then I moved my legs farther apart...

...as her left index finger moved lower down between them.

She stopped. "Do you want me to...you know...use any-"

"No."

"Are you sure? I don't want to hurt-"

I shook my head. "No. I'm more than wet enough right now. Please just-"

"Okay," she whispered. Just relax."

Yeah. Right.

She began rotating her finger sideways against me, and I knew why.

She was trying to get it as wet as she could.

"Carls?"

"G-go ahead."

And I grabbed her shoulders...

...trying not to cry out...

...in agony _or_ in ecstasy...

...as I felt it sliding...

...slowly and deeply...

...all the way up inside me.

To my relief, it didn't hurt.

"Oh, Sam, oh yes," I breathed.

And then I felt her fingertip gently push against my cervix...

...and then pull away.

Not once.

Not twice.

But repeatedly.

"Sam? What are you doing?"

"Does that hurt?"

"Not really...but what are you-"

"Shh..everything is okay. Just try to relax for me."

Then I felt her finger shifting inside me, pressing slowly, yet deliberately, into different spots all along the inside my vagina.

"Does that hurt? What about there?"

"No, Sam; but what are you-"

"Shh."

She pulled out, and sat, looking down at the mattress, thinking hard.

Several minutes passed.

"Sam? What was _that _all ab-"

She looked up at me. "What just happened...it didn't hurt you at all?"

"No, but-"

She cocked her head. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, but-"

"Carls...is it okay if I...use two fingers now?"

"Yes, but..."

Her lips were on my forehead. "Don't worry. I'm going to be really careful."

I gave up on asking.

I nodded.

And, after a minute's hesitation, I felt her wetting her middle finger...

...and gasped as she slowly pushed them both up inside me.

Deeply.

As she did, it did feel slightly uncomfortable, but nothing like what I'd expected.

She leaned over me. "Do you have any pain?"

"No."

And then...

...she spread her fingers apart.

And, with a loud gasp...

...I closed my legs around her hand.

She froze.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Did I-"

"A...little. But only up at the top."

She still looked worried. "Okay. Let me pull out."

I opened my legs and she did, and then she leaned over and kissed me.

I reached up to hug her, but she shook her head and got out of bed.

"Sam? What was all that about?"

She was picking up her phone.

"Sam! Not again!"

"I'll be back."

"No! At least tell me what you two are-"

She ignored me and walked toward the door. "Dinner is probably ready. I can smell Spencer's chicken parmigiana from all the way up-"

"PANTIES!"

She spun around. "Argh! What was that for?"

"Frustration loves company."

She fled the room.

After dinner, during which I had maintained a polite, yet frustrated silence, she picked up my meds from the tray.

I held out my hand, but instead of giving them to me, she deliberately set them over on the nightstand.

"Do you mind waiting for a little while to take these?"

"No. Not at all"

I really wanted to ask her why but I decided to try not to be pushy; hoping that she'd volunteer the information.

She didn't.

Instead, she looked at me for a few minutes...in silence, and then she put her hand on my shoulder.

"Lie down."

I did.

She moved closer, until she was sitting right next to me.

"Lean your head back for me."

I did.

And she gently pressed her fingertips against front of my neck.

"Swallow for me."

Lying there in puzzled silence, I did as she directed.

"Now lift your arms."

I did...

...and she removed my nightshirt.

And suddenly, a very naughty idea occurred to me.

"Ooh, Sam! Are we playing doctor?"

"Uh, if you want to call it that."

I smirked mischievously.

"Well then, Doctor, you would not believe how I've been misbehaving lately! You're going to be shocked when I tell you all the disobedient, nasty things I've-"

"Carls?"

I stopped. "Yes?"

"You're thinking of '_Cops and Bad Girls_'...that's an entirely different game."

"Oh."

Turning her attention away from my face, she pushed the front of my panties down and started to very gently palpitate my upper stomach, starting with the sides.

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

"No. Not at all."

Her hands began moving toward the center and lower, as her fingers pressed into my abdomen, again and again.

"Do you have any pain here?"

"No."

"Here?"

"No."

"What about here?"

"Sam! Spill!"

"Shh." Her hand pressed directly above the top of my pubic hair.

"Ow!"

She immediately retreated. "I'm so sorry."

"No, it's not as bad as it sounded! It's not really painful...not like the day you brought me home. Right now, it only feels...Twinge-y."

She reached over to my nightstand.

"Here. Take your meds."

After I did, I started to lie back down, but she shook her head.

"They'll go down faster and easier if you're sitting up."

She wrapped her arms around me.

And I sat there, with my head on her shoulder, sighing in contentment as she began to rub my bare back.

After about ten minutes, she let me lie down again, and then she scooched over to her side of the bed, and sat...surprise!...with her back against the headboard.

After five long minutes of motionless silence on her part, I began to contemplate checking her for a pulse...

...but soon changed my mind.

Instead, I propelled myself across to where she was sitting...

...and rested my head in her lap, looking up at her.

She suddenly came out of her reverie, and then leaned down and kissed me.

I smiled up at her, as she ran a hand through my hair and smiled back down at me.

"Feeling better now, Cupcake?"

I nodded.

She glanced over at her phone.

"Don't You Dare!"

"But, Carls-".

"Why don't you just invite him to jump in here with us!"

I saw her trying not to smirk. "Who's not being a cooperative little girl?"

"I'm sooo sorry!"

She ignored my sarcastic tone.

She put her hands were on her hips. "I'm glad that you are...because if you weren't, you'd find yourself on your stomach, with your underwear around your knees and your bare butt in the air...and it wouldn't be for jiggles!"

I shot her my most ominous 'look of death'. "Don't you dare threaten me or..."

"Or what?"

"Panties!"

Argh! Stop that or-"

"Or what, Sam? What are you going to do...tase me every time I say it?"

She raised her eyebrows. "Hmm...don't give me any ideas!"

Time to drag out the heavy artillery.

I grabbed her by the wrist and gave the back of her hand a resounding smack.

"Ow! What was that fo-"

"Sam Puckett, you're just being mean to me so we can kiss and make up again!"

She rolled over on top of me and pinned my arms.

"Me? Do something so devious and underhanded? How dare you!"

I shrugged. "Oh, well, Sam...I know you're never wrong. No problem. If you don't want me to kiss you, then I'll just-mmph!"

Her mouth was on mine.

And I reached up and tickled her.

"Carls!"

I stopped.

Because, suddenly...

...I had to know.

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you_ really_ spank me?"

She frowned. "Is this an invitation?"

I gazed down at the floor. "Wow, look at the size of that cockroach!"

"Don't evade the question, Carls."

"What question?"

She opened her mouth...

...and I grabbed her T-shirt...

...and pulled her back onto me.

Her lips moved down to my neck...

...and, less than a minute later...

...as my vagina began to twitch - sporadically yet unmistakeably - with the early, damp beginnings of arousal...

...I arched my back...

...and then, to my extreme disappointment...

...I felt her left hand on my right breast.

I sighed.

Here we go again.

Oh, well...I may as well enjoy it while it lasts.

All _five seconds_ of it.

I started kissing her passionately.

I stopped kissing her suddenly.

Because I absolutely couldn't believe what I was feeling.

I waited, breathless and motionless, convinced that I would, any second, discover that I was wrong.

But I wasn't.

Her hand was _actually moving_...

...caressing my breast...

...almost imperceptibly...

...yet still unmistakably.

"Oh, yes, Sam...oh please!" I whispered.

"Shh."

And then...

...as I waited in wet, throbbing anticipation...

...she slowly, yet deliberately...

...slid down my body...

...and, as she tilted her head downward...

...she wrapped her lips softly around my left nipple.

And my vagina clenched once.

Violently.

And I started leaking again.

Oh, God...oh my God.

Please let this happen.

Please!

Her tongue began swirling around and across the top of my breast...

...and my thighs began shaking uncontrollably.

But then they stopped.

Because my dumb brain decided to intervene.

Oh no. What if-

And then, as desperately as I wanted and needed her to continue...

...I knew I had to stop her.

"Sam," I whispered.

She stopped momentarily. "Shh. Are you...no, wait...am I hurting you?"

"N-no."

"Are you sure?"

"Sam...are we...going to...'you know'?"

She stopped completely...

...and looked up at me. "Would you like to?"

"Yes...so, so badly! But...I...we...need to...we need to talk."

She sat up and looked at me in slightly disappointed silence.

Waiting.

But, even though she had stopped touching me, the nagging, unfulfilled ache between my legs actually intensified.

I did my best to ignore it...

...but failed.

But I nevertheless forced myself to turn my attention to where it needed to be.

"Sam? Did...did he...say-?"

She nodded slowly. "Yes. He did."

That was a relief.

But it wasn't enough.

I nodded. "What did he say?"

She hesitated...

...and then began.

"Well, this morning I described your bleeding to him in detail-"

"Oh, God!"

She stopped speaking.

"Sam?"

"Never mind, Carls."

Shit.

"Sam...will you please tell me what he...no! Don't look at me that way! Please, Sam...please! This is really important! As much as I want to be with you...after everything that's happened...I don't want to...I _can't _make any more mistakes! Please! Just tell me! Just this one time!"

"I...can't."

"Can you tell me _why_ you can't tell me?"

"No."

"Why not?"

She rolled her eyes. "Because...if I told you why I can't tell you..._it would be the same thing as telling you!_"

I took a deep breath. "Is it because you'll be embarrassed...or I'll be embarrassed?"

She looked away and nodded.

"Which one?"

She shrugged.

I reached over, and gently put her hands over her eyes, and then I put my hand on top of her head and gently pushed it downward. Then I covered my own eyes and lowered my own head.

"Okay, Sam. Now neither one of us has to be-"

Suddenly, her hand was under my chin.

She raised my face to hers and uncovered my eyes.

"No, Carls. Let's do this like two grown-ups. If I promise to discuss this with you right now, openly, will you promise not to scream 'Oh, my God' after every sentence?"

"Yes. I promise."

She reached down and took my hands...

...and took a deep breath.

"Well, I described your bleeding to him...in detail-"

"Oh, m-...I mean, oh...that's interesting."

She shot me a look. "Anyway, I told him that your flow was tapering off-"

"And Thank God for that-"

She shook her head. "No, Carls. He sounded very concerned as he told me that it's way too soon for that to be happening."

"Aw! That sucks! That Totally Sucks!"

She took a deep breath. "It does...but he said that it's most likely due to-"

She stopped.

And so did my heart.

"Sam? Sam...is something...wrong with me?"

"Well, yes _and_ no. He said that it's probably due to a...a clot."

And my heart was in my throat.

"Oh, God! Oh, God, No! I don't want to go back to-"

She put her hands on my shoulders. "Shh. It's probably not as bad as it sounds. He said...I'm sorry, but I have to be graphic here...he said that there's probably a build-up of accumulated blood and discharge on the tangled ends of your stitches, which are protruding from your wound. And that all of that has probably caused a clot to form in your cervix."

I was terrified.

"S-sam..."

She shook her head. "Don't jump to conclusions. He said that, since you've been bleeding non-stop for the last several days, that the interior of your cervix is damp enough that, if there is a clot present, it's not a dry, crusty one."

"Oh, what a relief. That's so nice to know."

She shot me a look.

"Anyway, told me that...if there is a clot present...that the most effective way to move it...is to have an orgasm."

I couldn't believe it.

"No way did he say that!"

"He did...and...Carls? There's something else I have to tell you."

Oh God.

"What?"

"Well, I also told him that you've been under a lot of stress...and he said that an orgasm would take care of that too."

"But...didn't you tell me that when you asked him about it the other day he said absolutely not?"

She looked confused. "I didn't ask him other day...it was the day after I brought you home."

"Oh."

"Anyway, he said that, since it's been about a week, that it's probably safe for you to have one; and that, if there is a clot...that the more intense the orgasm, the greater the likelihood that you'll expel it."

"So, he wants me to have a mega-orgasm?"

She averted her eyes. "Uh, yeah...and he, uh...he told me how to help you do that."

"That's good...wait, what? What do you mean he told you how to help me? Sam...you told him about us! How could you-"

"No, Carls, I didn't tell him about us. I didn't have to."

"What do you mean?"

"He, uh, he said that...at the risk of sounding completely unprofessional...he thinks we make a really cute couple."

"He didn't!"

"Well, can you blame the man? He's absolutely right! Anyway, he said that sex is okay, as long as I don't...you know...go up inside."

My heart lurched in fear.

"S-sam, that doesn't mean that you want to...you're not going to...'go downtown' on me...are you? I mean, I wouldn't mind...someday...if you wanted to...but not now...not while I'm-"

"Carls...I won't...not while you're bleeding. But maybe someday."

"What a relief...but wait! He told you what to do...to help me have this 'earth-shattering orgasm'?"

Her face suddenly turned bright red, as she nodded.

I sighed. "I'm afraid to ask, but...how?"

"Uh...he, uh...he said...not to let you cum right away. Oh, and not to be concerned if your flow increases afterward."

Great. Just what I need.

I nodded.

"Carls?"

"Sam...thank you for tel-"

"I love you, Carls. _So much_."

Oh no.

Don't cry-don't cry-don't cry-don't...

"And Carls, thank you for letting me be your first."

I buried my head against her shoulder.

"Come on, don't cry! Whacking off is fun!"

I stopped.

"Y-you're right. It is. Extremely."

She nodded. "You told me that you've only done it a few times. Because of the pain?"

"I had to stop doing it. When I did it, I...always thought about...you, Sam. And, during the last year that I did it...when I came, it it began to hurt...a lot...and the pain kept getting worse and worse...and I thought...I thought that God was punishing me...for how I felt about you."

She leaned over toward me.

"Carls, do you still believe that?"

With difficulty, I rolled over onto my side. "No...and, now that I know the real reason...I'll never believe it again."

She nodded.

And then she took a deep breath.

"Caros, after what happened last night...I was thinking-"

"You were thinking? Really? I hadn't noticed...Ow!"

I really wasn't expecting her to smack my butt.

"Carls? As I was saying...about last night...I realized that we can't ever let that happen again...and that's when I decided to ask him, again, if it was okay for you to have an orgasm."

I nodded...

...even though I was sure there was more – much more – that she wasn't telling me.

But I'll address that later.

Now is definitely not the time.

She pressed her lips to mine, and then pulled away and slid off the bed.

"I'll be right back."

She soon was, with a large bath towel. After folding it twice, she leaned over me.

"Lift your hips."

I did, and let her position the towel under me.

She sat down on the bed next to me...

...and smiled.

I nodded...

...and closed my eyes as I felt my panties slipping down my thighs...

...and then completely off me.

"Sam...please-"

She leaned over.

"Shh. You don't have to beg anymore, Carls. You're definitely going to have one now."

I opened my eyes and looked up at her. "Will you help me?"

I've never seen her look so serious. "I thought you'd never ask."

She leaned over and kissed me...

...but I immediately pulled away. "Sam, I apologize...in advance."

"For what?"

"Because...I'm going to...you know...leak on your hand."

"It's okay...I've had bloody hands before. Remember at school last year, when Ronnie Carter shoved you down that flight of stairs?"

"Oh, yeah. That certainly was a day to remember. He ended up with...how many stitches?"

"I forget. But the point is that this will pale by comparison, won't it?"

Without waiting for an answer, she lay down next to me.

And, moments later, her lips were on my chest...

...and her hand was trailing down my stomach.

"Oh, Sam...oh, yes," I moaned...

...as her fingers found their way, first to the top of my outer lips...

...and then inside.

Oh, my God.

She knew.

Exactly what to do.

And exactly where.

And almost immediately, I felt my body responding...

...enthusiastically...

...to every single movement of her fingers.

No matter how slight.

But I wanted more.

Much more.

So I began tilting my hips upward...

...over and over...

...intensifying the pressure of her fingers against me.

Repeatedly.

Oh, God. Yes.

With every upward thrust, I felt myself beginning to get more and more-

She moved her hand away.

Oh, God. No.

Breathing heavily, I gasped, "Sam? Why did you...did I do something wrong?"

She rested a hand on my shoulder. "Not at all. We have to...you know...hold back."

Oh no.

This is gonna suck.

"But..._why_?"

"Carls, you _know_ why."

"Okay, okay...but for how long?"

She looked at me with determination. "Until you're completely whipped up into a frenzy."

"Oh. No problem. That should take all of seven seconds."

"Very funny. Just lie still and breathe for me."

I did.

And a few minutes later, her hand was sliding up the inside of my thigh.

I bit back a gasp...

...determined from now on to hide how extremely hot and bothered she was making me.

"HIGHER! PLEASE! NOW!"

(Okay, I failed.)

She trailed two fingers up and down my outer lips before pushing them inside, and sliding them upward.

"Oh, God! Oh, God, that feels so fantastic!"

Her fingers pressed into either side of the base of my clitoris...

...and I couldn't get enough of the way they were forcing it to throb...

...and what that was doing to my mind...not to mention the rest of me...

...so I rapidly began closing my thighs around her hand...

...over and over...

...pushing her fingers more deeply against me...

...deeply and repeatedly...

...as I moaned loudly...

...in disappointment...

...when she move her hand away...

...leaving absolutely nothing between my legs but a persistent, insistent ache.

"Sam! Please! I have to!"

"Shh. Not yet."

"But I _know_ that I'm going to have a...you know...intense one!"

"Carls, let's make sure."

"But..."

"Breathe for me."

"Sam!"

"Shh...relax. You're going to have one...I promise."

I lost it.

"When? _Christmas _is gonna come before I do!"

She stared at me...

...stony-faced.

"That was so funny I forgot to laugh."

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! But this is making me crazy...so I plead temporary insanity."

"It's okay-"

"Please, Sam...please don't make me suffer anymore!"

"I'm not trying to make you suffer. You know I'm trying to help you."

"But..."

"We're lucky to be able to do this at all right now."

I sighed.

I hate it when she's right.

She wiped her hand on a towel and then got up off the bed, returning shortly with her duffel bag, which she set down beside me on the bed.

"I want to show you something."

And, after rummaging around inside, near the bottom for a minute...

...she pulled out the strangest-looking object I had ever seen.

It had a huge, cylindrical metal body, slightly longer and wider than a soup can; rounded at one end and tapered at the other,; and it was attached to a fifteen-foot cord.

I found it to be both scary and fascinating at the same time.

"Sam...wh-what is that thing?"

She smiled slyly.

"This, Cupcake, is the reason I like to 'you-know-whack-off' so often."

"But...what is it? And where did you get it?"

She frowned. "Long story...but hey, that will be good! It'll give you the chance to calm down a little."

I bit my tongue.

She set it down beside me, leaned back, and then took a deep breath.

"Do you remember me telling you about the job my mom used to have...at that bar over on Pike Street..._The Rusty Switchblade_?"

"Do you mean...her mud wrestling gig?"

She smiled. "Yeah. That's the one."

"Of course I remember...but didn't you say that she quit...after only four days?"

"She didn't want to, but she _had to_...after she threw her back out against that bruiser, Avalanche."

I looked at her sympathetically. "That's a shame. I'll bet she would have won, otherwise."

Sam nodded enthusiastically.

"I agree, even though a lot of people had originally said that it wasn't a fair match, because Avalanche has a lazy eye-"

I laughed.

She shot me a look. "Anyway, less than a week later, Mom had a new boyfriend...her physical therapist."

"You mean that guy, Frank?"

She smiled fondly. "Yes. Her only long-term relationship...and those were the happiest two weeks of her life!"

I nodded.

"Anyway, he gave her this...to use on her back. And after they broke up, I found it in the hall closet one day, while I was in there looking for Frothy."

She held it out to me...

...but I wasn't sure that I wanted to touch it.

"Uh, Sam...are you sure she wasn't using it...elsewhere?"

"She wasn't using it _anywhere_. It was still in the box...brand new."

"Oh."

Relieved, I picked it up with one hand and turned it on with the other...

...and the vibrations were so forceful that it flew out of my hand and shot halfway across the bed.

"Oh, my God, Sam! You use this on your-"

"Yes! Wait until you try it! This thing is turbo-charged! So be ready for a wild ride!"

And, to my astonishment...

...I realized that I _couldn't wait_ for her to use it on me.

"Open your legs."

I did.

Immediately.

She turned on the vibrator and lowered her hand.

_Oh. My. God._

_Less than sixty seconds later, my entire body was jerking around so violently that I knew that I was incredibly close to screaming..._

...in frustration...

...as she pulled it away from me.

"Sam! Come on!"

"Shh. Breathe."

I can't take much more of this...

...but I breathed.

A few minutes later...

...she moved the tapered end of the vibrator against my clitoris again.

And turned it back on.

I grabbed onto her arm with both my own...

...silently willing her not to move...

...while trying my hardest not to speak.

"Oh! Oh, Sam! I'm G-Gonna Cum..._Soon_!"

(Okay, I failed.)

(Again.)

"No. You're not."

"But-"

"Carls, look at me."

I couldn't.

She moved both her hand and the vibrator.

"Okay, Sam! I'm looking! I'm looking!"

"You need to hold back."

"But...but..."

"Carls...if you don't-"

"No! Not that! I'll hold back! I promise I will!"

She lowered her hand again.

"Oh, Sam...this is so boring! It's too bad that I'm completely uninterested in, and unable to...

..._Oh, God_ - _Unable_ _To Hold Bac_-"

She moved her hand.

"STOP TORTURING ME!"

She looked at me calmly. "I'm not. Just breathe for-"

"Why, Sam? _Why_ are you making me do this?"

"You know it's not my idea."

"I can't take this! I have to finish...NOW!"

She shook her head. "Come on, Carls...once more-"

"I can't!"

"Yes-I-can-if-I-try."

"Don't quote! Help me!"

"Only if you promise to hold back."

I sighed. "I promise."

She lowered it between my legs again, and moved it back against the left side of my clitoris.

At the very top.

Less than fifteen seconds later, I tried to hide how close I was getting...

...but failed utterly.

"Oh my God!"

"Hold back."

"Sam, I'm gonna..."

"No you're not."

"Yes! I am!"

"No. You're not. Hold back, Carls."

"I can't!"

"Hold back, or I'm gonna move this thing away."

"No! Not that! I'm Begging You!"

"Are you holding back for me?"

"I swear I am! As hard as I can!"

"How hard?"

"Please, Sam! _Please let me finish!_"

"Not yet."

"You're getting off on tormenting me!"

"I swear I'm not!"

"Sam! I can't hold bac-"

She pulled it away.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Sorry, Carls."

The throbbing between my legs was now absolutely, unbelievably unbearable.

I started to cry.

"Please! Please let me! I promise you that this is gonna be an_ insane_ orgasm!"

I could see that she was beginning to crack.

"Are you sure, Carls? Are you absolutely sure?"

"Yes! I'm sure! How many more times are you going to do this to me?"

"No more, Carls...I promise. Lie back."

I flung myself down onto the mattress.

"Good girl. Now hold on to me."

I grabbed her shoulders...

...and she pushed the end of the vibrator back against my clitoris...

...pressing it tightly against me.

"Thank God, Sam! Thank God! Now I can _finally_-"

"Carls. Hold back."

"Sam! I can't! You know I can't! And you said that you_ weren't going to make me!_"

"Shh...hold back!"

"I can't!"

"You'd better, Carls! Because if you don't, I'll put this thing away and you'll never see it ag-"

"No! I'm holding back! I swear I am. Please Sam, _please! _I Can't Do This Anymore!"

"You don't have to."

She leaned down and looked into my eyes.

"I want you Carly Shay! I want you to cum so hard for me! Will you do that for me...if I let you?"

Tears - both of frustration _and_ of anticipated, profound relief - were streaming down my cheeks.

"I will! I promise I'll cum so hard for you if you'll let me! Please let me cum for you! _Please, Sam!"_

"Go ahead."

And I submitted.

To her.

Completely.

And I felt my body going stiff, as every muscle gradually seized up, starting with my upper thighs, and radiating downward...

...and with my stomach, and radiating upward...

...until the top of my scalp jumped with a snap...

...and I then felt the entire length of my vagina tighten...

...and my entire body lurch up off the mattress...

...as I blasted off...

...alternately crying and screaming...

...at the violent intensity of its frenzied convulsions.

"Oh, God! Oh, Sam! Oh My GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWD!"

I kept trying to dig my heels into the mattress, to try to stabilize my spasms, but the complete loss of muscle control in my legs kept making them slide off the sheet...

..as God-knows-what began dribbling out of me...

...and soaking into the towel.

Sticking a fork into that light socket was nothing compared to this.

Desperate to keep from bursting in flames from spontaneous combustion, I grabbed onto her, trying, and failing, to steady myself.

She wrapped her free arm around my back.

"I've got you, Carls! Just ride it out! All the way out to the end!"

I had to.

I had no choice.

And what a ride!

It was the longest orgasm of my life.

And unquestionably the best.

Finally, every last shred of stress, energy, ability to reason, and breath left me...

...and I fell back onto the bed.

She pulled it away and turned it off.

And I lay there...

...completely unable to move.

But not caring.

_What _injury?

_What _problems?

_What_ Global Warming?

_What_ crisis in the Middle East?

Tra-la-la-la-la!

What a release...

...and what a relief.

And then, to my astonishment, I saw her glance over at the clock.

"Forty-seven seconds...not bad at all...especially for your first one."

"Sam! You were _timing _me?"

"Well, yeah. Why not?"

Try as I might, I couldn't come up with a single objection. Especially since my 'hand-inspired' orgasms had always lasted less than ten seconds.

And then, curiosity got the better of me.

"So, uh, Sam...what's_ your _personal best?"

"Fifty-eight seconds."

"Impressive."

She smiled. "I'll be right back."

She returned from the bathroom with a washcloth and a hand towel, and I felt her gently clean between my legs...

...and then pull my panties back up.

As she was cleaning off the vibrator, I whispered, "Sam, I love you...so much. Even though that was really, really hard...thank you. I desperately needed to get rid of all that stress."

She smiled and leaned over me. "I'm sorry if you felt tortured. Doctor's orders. And I promise to never, _ever_ do that to you again...unless he insists."

I leaned up and kissed her.

She reached down and wrapped her arms around me.

"Sam?"

"Shh. After what you've just been through-"

She sat up, inadvertently pulling me up with her.

Surprised, she gently removed my arms from around her.

"Lie back down."

I did.

I looked up into her eyes, and was encouraged by the way she was smiling.

"Sam?"

"Yes?"

Uh, now that I've been...uh...taken care of-"

I reached for the vibrator but she moved it away.

"No, Carls."

Oh, no.

Oh, God...no.

She's resisting.

Which means that her reasons for not wanting to are much, much more complicated than I'd originally thought.

But I wasn't giving up until I had exhausted every possible option.

"Come on, Sam! Let me! Please?"

"No."

"Why not? We both know that you need to...just as much as I did!"

"Uh, no. I don't want you to-"

I forced myself to calm down. "Oh...okay...do you...want me to use my hand instead?"

She shook her head.

"Well then, do you want me to...uh...go downtown?"

"No."

"I don't mind doing that for you , Sam. Not at all...If that's what you really wan-"

"No. I don't."

I tried to keep my voice steady.

"Sam? Do you want me to...try something el-"

She shook her head.

"Why not?"

She flinched. "No. Thanks. I want you to lie back and enjoy what just happened. Don't worry about me."

"Sam! _Come on_!"

"Shh...Carls, you're completely relaxed. Don't ruin that."

I started to panic.

"But...it's _your turn_! And now you don't have to feel selfish about getting off...because I just had-"

She put her finger over my lips. "Carls, I have to ask you something. When you came, did it hurt?"

I was taken aback.

I removed her finger from my lips. "No."

She didn't look entirely convinced. "Not at all?"

"No...and now I feel so much better! And now I want you to feel better, too."

She bit her lower lip. "Carls, there's something I want to tell you."

I nodded. "Okay, but tell me _after_ I help you have an org-"

She grabbed my arm. "This can't wait! It's such great news!"

"What is?"

She smiled manically. "Dr. A. said that if you didn't have any pain during your orgasm...that you can try sleeping on your stomach tonight!

"REALLY?"

She smiled broadly. "Yes!"

Life could hold no greater thrill.

"Oh, my God, Sam! I've been wanting to for...well, forever! I hate sleeping on my back! I haven't had a decent night's sleep in ages!"

She leaned down and hugged me warmly. "Well, those days are over, Kid."

I hugged her back. "Yes, thank God! I'm really looking forward to it...right after I to take care of your-"

Her arms released me. "First, let's make sure you can lie that way without any pain," she stated...

...as she rolled me over onto my stomach...

...and slid my pillow under me, which is my usual position for sleeping.

I turned my head and saw her looking at me warily. "Does that hurt at all?"

"No, Sam...but we still have to-"

She started to rub my back slowly and sensually, with both hands.

"How does that feel?"

I sighed. "Indescribably wonderful...but now it's time for-"

She leaned down and spoke softly next to my ear. "I'm so glad you're feeling better."

"Me too. But Sam, what about _your_ orgaz-z-z-z-z..."

A/N: As ye review...

...so also shall ye reap.


	10. Chapter 10

I opened my eyes...

...and looked over at the alarm clock.

9:34...

_..._A.M.

Damn it!

I hadn't meant to fall asleep.

Oh well.

It's a new day.

A new opportunity to seduce Sam.

And it was great to _finally_ wake up on my stomach!

With effort, I managed to roll over onto my left side.

"Sam?"

She murmured something unintelligible.

I moved closer. "Sam?"

"Principal Franklin...no idea why your car...fuschia...I hate that col-"

I reached over and gently shook her shoulder. "Sam?"

Her eyes flew open.

"WHO-HUH-WHAT? Oh, hey, Carls."

I smiled at her warmly. "Good morning."

She smiled back groggily, took hold of my hand, and slid it - palm-up - between her cheek and the pillow.

"Back at ya," she murmured, closing her eyes again.

I gently but decisively withdrew my hand, and then leaned over and kissed her forehead.

"I'm sorry to interrupt such an entertaining dream; but I really need to pee."

She stretched, yawned, and groaned simultaneously. "Sure. Just a second."

And then, reluctantly, yet lovingly, she stumbled out of bed and headed for the corner.

"Wait. Do you mind if I walk today, instead of using the wheelchair?"

She paused. "No, I guess it will be okay."

As she changed her trajectory and staggered over to me, I pushed myself up into a seated position and swung my legs over the side of the bed.

She leaned down.

I reached up and wrapped my arms around her neck...

...and, wrapping her arms around my waist, she helped me stand up.

And as soon as she did...

...I felt it.

_Gushing out of me._

"Oh, God Sam!"

I immediately reached down clamped my right hand between my legs...

...and she reached down and took hold of my wrist.

"No. Just let it come out...like it's supposed to."

"I can't! What if I stain my panties?"

"Argh! I'll wash them for you! Right away! I promise!"

Fair enough.

I let her move my hand...

...and started to to head to bathroom...

...but she grabbed my shoulders.

"Don't try to walk, Carls."

"But-"

"Just relax."

"How can I? I'm soaked!"

She shook her head. "Just wait for a second, until it slows down."

Slows down? It obviously has no intention of slow-okay, it's slowing down."

And she picked me up in her arms.

I tilted my head back and looked into her eyes. "Not necessary. I can walk now, remem-"

"Shh."

She carried me into the bathroom.

And as soon as my feet hit the bathroom floor I felt it...

...sliding wetly out of my vagina...

...like a slimy meatball...

...and I yanked my panties down.

It was _so _gross looking.

Not just the clot...

..._all of it_.

I sat down on the toilet...

...and then, to my complete embarrassment _and_ bewilderment...

...Sam bent down...

...pulled out the front of my panties...

...looked closely at what was inside them...

...and _actually smiled_!

The girl has finally lost her mind.

I have to say something.

"Uh, Sam?"

"Hmm?"

"Uh, what is this...sudden, uh...fascination that you have with blood? I'm beginning to worry that you-"

She raised her head _and_ her eyebrows. "That I have a bizarre obsession with periods?"

"No, something _far_ worse!"

"Huh?"

"That you have a bizarre obsession with...Twilight!"

She jumped to her feet. "You _know_ I hate _everything_ about that _stooooooooopid_..."

"Just kidding, Sam. Just kidding! There's no need to get your tits in a snit!"

"My tits in a _what_?"

I shook my head. "Never mind. But, Sam...why are you, uh, smiling at what's inside my..."

I watched in amusement as she cringed. "Don't Say It! _For The Love Of God, Don't Say it!"_

She took a deep, calming breath. "It's just that...Dr. A. was right about the clot...and I'm really glad that it's out of you now."

I rolled my eyes. "That's easy for you to say...you don't have to deal with the aftermath."

She leaned down and hugged me. "Shh. You're going to be fine. I promise. Now lets get you cleaned up."

Once I was back under the covers, the bleeding did seem to be slowing down somewhat...

...but, believe it or not, I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

She noticed.

"Carls? Are you okay? You seem kind of...worried about something."

"I was just thinking."

"About?"

"Well, if orgasms speed up my flow...then the more of them I have...the faster I should be able to get all this...this..._dripping _over with."

She sat down...

...landing, with a bounce, on the edge of the bed...

...and actually laughed.

"Sam...I'm serious!"

Her smile disappeared. "Oh. Well-"

Not really looking at her, I added, "Plus I had, um, so much fun last night-"

Her hands were on my shoulders. "I see. So, you'd like to...hang out with Buzz again?"

I looked up in surprise. "Buzz? Do all vibrators have names?"

"No idea. It's just that I've grown so...so _fond_ of this one-"

"_This_ one? How many, uh, toys do you have, anyway?"

She smiled slyly. "Too many to count-ow!"

She picked up the pillow that had just collided with her face, and shoved it under her butt.

"Just kidding, Cupcake! Anyway, after seeing what Buzz can do, I'm so head over heels in lust with him that I don't even want to _look_ at another one!"

I also had started thinking about what Buzz could do...

...and it was making me very, _very_ antsy.

I grabbed her knees.

"Please, Sam? _Please?_ I'd_ really_ like to have-"

She leaned over, wrapped her arms around my back, and pulled me close.

"Later, okay? We have some other stuff to take care of first."

Sigh.

"Okay, Sam; later...promise?"

She pulled back and looked at me with utmost sincerity. "Of course I do."

She disappeared downstairs with her phone...

...and returned shortly with breakfast.

I don't remember what we had.

After Sam had finished picking up all the empty Fat Cake wrappers, which were scattered over the entire surface of the the bed, like a wind-swept blanket of fallen leaves; she carried the now-depleted breakfast tray over to the dresser and then sat down on the edge of my side of the bed, and asked, "Would you like to try walking again, or do you have cramps right now from all that...dripping?"

I smiled. "No, I'd like to walk."

She helped me stand up.

Which caused another minor monsoon between my legs.

Bloody hell (literally and figuratively)!

And then, after about ten otherwise uneventful laps...

...she helped settle me back into bed.

"How do you feel?"

"Wet."

"You know that's not what I mean."

"I feel fine. Uh, Sam...did you tell Dr. Anderson about my clot?"

Pause.

"Yes."

I immediately leaned forward. "_And_?"

She smiled manically. "And...the next _Girly Cow_ starts in ten minutes!"

"Sam! What did he-"

"_And_ it's the new episode: _Girly Cow Behind Bars_!"

I was temporarily and absolutely distracted. "Ooooh, and this is gonna be a good one...because her 'best friend', Bessy Cow, was arrested just last week!"

My imagination began to run wild. "So I'll bet there's going to be an 'interesting' shower scene in_ this _episode!"

She grinned broadly. "Yeah, according to the plot summary, this is the one where Bessy and Girly both get locked up in the same cell, and every day the evil prison warden sadistically zaps them _repeatedly_ with the cattle prod, which drives them into each other's-

I didn't hear the rest of her statement...

...because the mere thought of Berly (Bessy/Girly), and all the vehement opposition to the 'ship', always gets me completely riled up.

I mean, if you've ever watched the show yourself, then I'm sure you've seen the way those two stand so close to each other in the field! And how they can't keep their hooves off each other! In every single episode!

_And_ how they pay no attention to Ferdinand the Bull, except to make his life an emotionally frustrating (Girly), and physically agonizing (Bessy) hell...

...even though the show's incredibly misleading promos keep insinuating that they both want him...

...badly.

My blood was boiling.

"Damn it, Sam! There's _a lot more_ going on between Bessy and Girly than just 'friendship'...I don't care what all the Wikis and fan forums say!"

She was becoming just as agitated as I was.

"Screw the fan forums! It's just a bunch of delusional homophobes trying to make themselves feel better by living in total denial about what's right in front of their faces! _And _by pretending that Ferdinand has a chance with either one of those two! That's never gonna happen! So all of the Ferly and Fessy shippers can go to hell! Anyway, would you like to go downstairs and watch it with me?"

I grabbed her upper arms in breathless anticipation. "Yes! I definitely don't want to miss this one!"

Even though I thought I was entirely capable of walking, Sam insisted on taking me down to the living room in the wheelchair.

I let her.

After laying me out on the couch, she covered me with a blanket, slid under me, and then she lowered my head into her lap.

I handed her the remote.

Five minutes later, she was laughing her head off.

But I wasn't.

Because, even though I had been looking forward to this episode all week...

... my attention wasn't on the screen at all...

...it was entirely between my legs...

...while my mind was completely consumed with the memory of last night's _Insane Orgasm_...

...and with how I desperately wanted_ and _needed to have another one.

Immediately.

During the first round of commercials, her hand began caressing my hair...

During the second round of commercials, she leaned down and kissed me...

During the third round of commercials, she pushed up my nightshirt and began absently rubbing my stomach...

During the fourth round of commercials, I couldn't ignore the intermittent yet severe spasms between my legs - or the molten lava that they were pushing out of me - anymore.

I needed release.

Now.

I took hold of her wrist.

"Sam, w-will you please take me back upstairs?"

She glanced down. "Are you hurting anywhere?"

I looked up at her pleadingly. "I'm s-so wet right now!"

"Oh. Well, we don't have to go upstairs for that. During the next commercial, I'll bring down a clean-"

"Sam...please! I need...another one! Please! Right now! So badly!"

"Okay, okay. I'll bring down another clean pad..._right now_...and help you change-"

"No! That's not what I m-meant!"

And, as I moved her hand lower...

...her eyebrows moved higher.

She got it.

She bent down and kissed me.

Deeply.

"Open your legs," she whispered.

I did...

...whimpering as she slid both of her hands down between my knees...

...and began caressing my inner thighs...

...slowly and sensually...

...while gradually moving her hands higher and higher...

...and then...

...just as I was about to lose my mind completely...

..._finally_ pushing her right palm up against my crotch.

Hard.

Without hesitation, I started rocking against it.

Hard.

"Oh, God! Oh, God, Yes!" I managed to gasp.

She leaned down and smiled.

"Carls, I love you. So very much."

And I started to cry...

...from what her words were doing to my heart...

...and from what the pressure from her hand was doing to my vulva...

..._and_ from the fact that her eyes were completely on me...

...instead of on the screen...

..._during a New Episode of Girly Cow!_

If that's not love...what is?

But all my attention was soon riveted solely on my vagina.

And on what it was demanding.

"Please, Sam! Please take me back upstairs!"

Her hand slowed. "Is...is something wrong?"

"N-no, I want...I...want Buzz!"

"Carls-"

"Sam, _please_! I need Buzz! Right Now! _I Have To_-"

She looked hurt, and instantly shifted her gaze from my face down to the floor.

Oh, No!

I can't believe what I just said.

"Sam! Sam, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that!"

No response.

"Don't be mad at me, Sam! I...I'll try to finish this way!"

I started rocking harder.

But she moved her hand.

I grabbed it...

...and shoved it back between my legs...

...holding it tightly against me with both of my own...

...and I frantically started shoving myself against it...

...as hard as I could.

"I'm s-so sorry! I know I can have one this way! Just let me try to-"

But she shook her head as she leaned down...

...and wrapped her free arm around me...

...and kissed me.

"You don't need to apologize. I understand. _Believe me! _Once you've tried Buzz, nothing else can even come close to-"

I stopped moving against her hand. "Are you sure you're not m-mad at me?"

She smiled. "Of course not!"

"Don't worry, Sam...as soon as I'm done...I'm going to help you have one, too! In _any way_ you want to! I promise!"

She bit her lower lip.

Oh, God!

I did it _again_!

Could I _be _any more insensitive?

"Sam, no! I'm sorry! I didn't mean that at all! That was so incredibly selfish of me! It's _your turn_! You can go first! I promise! Okay?"

No answer.

"Okay, Sam?"

Without a word, she got up...

...lifted me off the couch...

...and helped me into my chair.

Less than five minutes later...

...I was on my bed...

...on my back...

...with a towel under me...

...and my nightshirt completely off me.

But, as desperately as I wanted to orgasm...

...hard...

...I wanted her to orgasm...

..._so much harder_.

Right Away.

So, ignoring the insistent throbbing that was currently controlling my swollen vagina, I rolled over on top of Sam, wrapped my arms around her, and kissed her with every shred of passion in me.

And, from the way she was kissing me back, I knew that her body was beginning to respond.

But it wasn't enough.

Not nearly enough.

I wanted her so wet...

..so badly.

I planted my knee between hers and...

...as I felt her hands pressing against my back...

...trying to pull me down onto her...

...I crawled forward...

...until my knee was directly against her crotch...

...and, as I started rocking against her...

...there was no mistaking the feeling of her very damp boxers against my bare skin.

I tried my hardest to keep her distracted...

...to make her think that it was all about me...

...even though my thigh was now pressed tightly up between her legs.

"Sam you don't know how hot you're making me right now!"

"Carls...I-"

"I love you...so much!" I gasped.

"I know...I know you do!" She gasped back.

"Oh, Sam!"

Her hands slid from my back...

...around to my front, and settled over my breasts "Carls...what do you feel when I touch you?"

"Fire! Wh-what do you feel when you touch me?"

"W-water."

"Between my legs, Sam, or between yours?" I asked, as I slid my hand down the outside of her thigh...

...and then up between them.

All the way up.

"Carls-"

I pressed my fingers more deeply into her warm wetness. "Sam...you're soaked," I whispered.

She shook her head. "I...I-"

Resistance.

Not good.

I immediately withdrew my hand.

Time to distract her again.

I grabbed the vibrator and held it out to her. "Please, please turn Buzz on for me! Right now! Please!"

She did.

And then she looked up at me.

"Carls...I want to tel-"

"I know Sam, I know! I'm about to help you feel so-"

But then...

...before I knew what had happened...

...I was on my back...

...and my panties were gone.

"Sam! No! It's _Your_ Turn!"

And then, her fingers were barely touching my lips...

...and Buzz was barely touching my...other lips.

And I felt myself beginning to lose my focus.

"Sam...no-"

"Shh. Carls, you don't have to hold back anymore."

"B-but...it's not my turn to-"

Her lips were inches from my ear. "I'm not going to torment you this time. So cum any way you want to...and as soon as you want to..._right away_, if you wan-"

And I grabbed her wrist...

...and pushed Buzz tightly against my clitoris.

Because that was an offer I absolutely couldn't refuse.

It didn't take long.

"Oh, Sam! Oh my God! I'm...g-gonna! Really soon!"

"No. You're not," she stated flatly.

"Yes! I am! I absolutely-"

She pulled Buzz away.

"No, Sam, NO! _YOU PROMISED!_"

"Shh. I'm not going to make you hold back."

"Yes you are! That's exactly what you're doing right n-"

She shook her head. "No, I'm not. I'm just going to show you a way to orgasm even harder than you did last night."

"Impossible!" I scoffed.

She smiled sagely. "Don't be so sure."

And then, I felt Buzz pressed back up against me...

...on the lower right side of my vagina.

"Uh, Sam, that's not my 'special spot'."

"I know. _And_ I know exactly what I'm doing. Wait until you see what's about to happen."

I waited.

And then, less than a minute later...

...I felt what she meant...

...as she began moving the vibrator's tip slowly, up and down, half an inch...

...but then slowly, gradually, and methodically...

...she began sliding it up...

...higher and higher...

...until it finally was pressed tightly against the top right side of my clitoris.

"Ooh, Sam, I see what you-"

But before I could finish the sentence...

... she had moved Buzz down and against the lower left side of my vagina...

...and began doing the same thing...

...sliding it up, slowly, but steadily.

Once it had reached the 'halfway mark'...

...I knew that I was getting very, very close.

"Sam! Oh, God...you're making me-"

"I know. A slow arousal will make you...well, you're about to find out."

"Please, Sam!"

"No problem. You're almost ready."

"I'm ready right now! Please, Sam!"

"No, you're not. But you almost are. Just give it another min-"

"Come on! I wanna finish so badly!"

"Sorry, Carls. Not yet."

"N-n-no! Y-you said you weren't going to make me wai-"

"Shh. Just trust me. I'm not going to make you hold back."

"I couldn't hold back if I tried to! Sam, please move it all the way up-"

"No. Definitely not yet."

And then, less than three seconds later...

...just as I was about to protest again...

...she rapidly slid the tip upward...

...pressing it firmly against the left side of my clitoris...

...and I lost all control over my body.

And that terrified me.

"Oh, Sam! No! Wait! I can't!"

"Shh. Yes you can."

"No! I can't! Th-this is so m-m-much stronger than l-last-"

"I'm right here. Just take your time-"

But I couldn't.

Because my body wouldn't let me.

I didn't even give into its demands.

It seized control.

With a force and a fury that I'd never dreamed it had.

"Oh, God...oh, no...oh, Saaa_aaaaaa_AAAA_AAAAAAM_!"

I threw my head back...

...and closed my eyes...

and watched as thousands of pinpoints of light exploded behind my eyelids...

...while several thousand volts of electrical current...

...ripped mercilessly through my pelvis.

Non-stop.

It was indescribably more powerful than the night before.

And it seemed to go on forever.

And, even after she had pulled Buzz from between my legs...

I lay completely paralyzed...

...and totally incapable of speech.

Wow!

I never knew that orgasms could be this much fun!

All those wasted years!

Oh, well. Live and learn.

And spend the rest of your years...

...making up for lost time!

As soon as I had recovered somewhat, she pulled my panties up; and I turned onto my side, facing her.

Reaching toward Buzz, I said, "Thank you, Sam. Now it's time for us to-"

She nodded. " You're absolutely right, Carls. Now it's time for us to...have lunch."

She immediately rolled over and jumped up off the bed.

I tried to grab her...

...but my arms closed around empty air.

"No, Sam! NOOOOOOOOOO!"

She turned to face me and said calmly, "Spencer left money for us on the kitchen counter. Are meatball subs okay?"

I opened my mouth...

...ready to answer with a primal scream of frustrated rage...

...but then I promptly closed it again.

Because I remembered that the last time I'd let her _eat first_...

...we'd ended up with our hands between each others legs shortly thereafter.

And I was determined to do my damnedest to ensure that the same thing happened again.

But this time, my hand definitely would be moving.

Non-stop.

Until Buzz stepped in and took over.

So I nodded...

...and she called the pizza shop.

While we waited for lunch to be delivered, and while we ate, I yacked endlessly about random stuff; pretending that sex was the farthest thing from my mind.

Which wasn't really necessary...

...because Sam was so intensely focused on the food that she didn't even notice.

Or care.

Still, I bided my time.

And then, after lunch, I decided to try a little reverse psychology.

So I sat with my back against the headboard...

...staring off into space...

...not moving...

...while she lay next to me.

And I could tell, from how increasingly restless she was becoming...

...that she was going crazy from the silence.

For the record, all I could focus on was the fact that last night's and this morning's orgasms had been undeniably mind-blowing and crotch-blowing...

...and on the fact that I badly wanted _another one_.

Right Now.

Which was more than a little unnerving; because in the past, when I had engaged in 'self-service', it had only been once every couple of weeks.

But now I wanted it constantly.

Oh, God...am I turning into a sex maniac-oh, God...I just want her to shove that thing back up against my-oh, God...wait a minute!

What's wrong with me?

I have to help Sam first!

No matter how desperately I want and need to get off!

Again.

(And again...and again...and again...and-)

But...if she thinks that I'm only out for _my own_ good time...

...it might distract her from what I'm really planning.

Excellent idea, Carly.

(And be sure to allow her to demonstrate her profound appreciation afterward(!)

Okay.

It's time for action.

But, before I could move, I felt Sam's head in my lap...

...and looked down to see her looking back up at me.

"Whatcha thinking about, Cupcake?"

Time for a 'little white lie'.

"Well, remember how Dr. Anderson said that orgasms might increase my flow...and they did?"

She nodded.

"I, uh, was just wondering...do you think that they're also making me bleed, not just faster, but _more_?"

She frowned. "I don't think so. Your discharge is really dark red...which probably means that it's _old _build-up."

"Whatever it is, I just want it out of me! All of it! And the more I orgasm, the sooner it'll be gone!"

"Well, Carls, that's a very good point-

"Plus it was fun! Really fun! I _absolutely can't wait_ to do it again!"

(Plus I can't wait to do you(!)

Fortunately, she seemed both willing and eager to end my suffering.

"I'll get Buzz," she announced, hopping up off the bed and heading to the bathroom, where she'd taken him for cleaning.

Two minutes later, she was sliding a dark towel under me.

Four minutes later, we were making out enthusiastically.

Six minutes later, my nightshirt was flying across the room. (I forget who threw it.)

"Please, Sam! Please! Right now!"

She slid her hand inside my panties.

"Oh, wow, are you sure you want to bleed even faster than you already are?"

"Yes! Oh, God, yes! Please, Sam! I wanna have another one so badly! Right now! I_ need _to!"

"Okay, okay! Just calm down and breathe for me...that's it."

With Herculean effort, I managed to get some control over my breathing (but not over anything else)...

...until she began to very slowly, but very deliberately, finger both sides of my clitoris...

...and I began gasping again as I arched my back. "Oh, Thank God! I wish we could do this all day long!"

"I strongly advise against it."

Momentarily distracted, I tilted my head forward. "Why?"

"Because _all_ the screaming would shake _all_ the plaster off _all_ the walls."

I grabbed her shoulders tightly. "Oh, God, Sam! Oh, God! I love it when you talk to me that way!"

She opened her mouth...

...but before she could respond...

...I had rolled over on top of her...

...and was looking down at her legs.

She was squeezing her thighs together...

...repeatedly...

...and I knew what that meant.

I managed to slide my hand, unnoticed, between her knees...

...gradually inching it higher and higher between squeezes...

...until my palm was against the crotch of her boxers.

She stopped squeezing.

Yep.

Soaked again.

Thank God.

I leaned down and whispered, "Your turn."

She froze. "No."

I gently pressed upward, and felt her drenched boxers sink easily between the outer lips of her vagina; and she gasped next to my ear as I gently moved my fingertips against her.

"I can feel how wet you are, Sam...you're _so_ ready!"

"No. I-"

But I wasn't going to take 'no' for an answer again.

Not this time.

"Come on, Sam! It's okay now! You don't have to feel selfish anymore...because I've already had fun! Twice!"

"No, I-"

I cut her off. "And I promise I'll 'go again', right after you do, Sam...believe me! _I Promise_!"

"Carls, I don't wan-"

I silenced her with my lips.

Pulling back, I looked directly down at her. "Sam, we both know that you really want to...no, don't shake your head! We both know it for a fact. And I'm even going do all the work for you! So just lie back and let-"

"You're wrong, Carls. I don't want to."

(Liar.)

"Yes, you do!"

She slid out from under me. "No, really, I don't!"

(Filthy liar.)

"Yes! You Do!"

"NO! I DON'T!"

(Fucking Liar!)

Furious and frustrated, I leaned forward and started to struggle with her...

...frantically trying to pry Buzz out of her hands...

...ready to threaten to throw him out the window unless she started telling me the truth...

...and then, just as I had almost succeeded in wrestling him away from her...

...we heard the knock on my bedroom door.

And froze.

"Oh, shit!" we both whispered.

After hurriedly wiping her hand on a damp towel...

...she ran across the room...

...and retrieved my nightshirt.

As she tore back over to the bed with it...

...I raised my arms...

...and she pulled it down over my head ...

...shoved Buzz out of sight under the covers...

...yanked them up almost under my chin...

...and then ran to answer the door.

Breathless, she flung it open.

"Hey Sam."

"Hey, Spence," she drawled, with almost convincing non-nonchalance.

He tried to enter the room, but Sam blocked the entire doorway with her body, not letting him in; obviously trying to prevent him from smelling the Carly/Sam arousal in the air.

Finally, after several attempts to get past her, he gave up and called across to me.

"Hey Kiddo."

"Hey Spencer."

He turned back to Sam.

"I just dropped by to put dinner in the oven, and then I have to run right back out; so I'm leaving you in charge of it, Sam. It's a chuck roast."

Her eyebrows shot up.

"Really, Spencer...a_ Chuck roast_? I just wanted to kill him...not cannibalize him!"

Silence.

(I never realized that we have crickets in Bushwell Plaza.)

"Check it after two and a half hours."

She glanced over at the clock, and then back at him, and sighed. "Sure."

"Oh, and before I leave, I was asked to give you this." He reached down to the hallway floor and then handed her a large, red, yellow, and blue tartan gift bag.

She looked down at it curiously. "What's this? And who's it from?"

He smiled cryptically. "You'll see. And now I'm off to the kitchen, and then to the junk yard. I made friends with the guy who works the front gate every afternoon, and today he's going to let me sneak into the Restricted Section! God only knows what kind of unclaimed treasures await!"

And then he was gone.

She slowly approached the bed.

Which was not nearly fast enough for me.

"Sam, get back here! Right now! It's time for your org-"

Finally reaching my edge of the bed, she immediately leaned down, and began to wave the bag from side to side, in front of my face.

"Look, Cupcake..._Prezzies!"_

"But-"

She continued to swing the bag...

...back and forth...

...from side to side...

...back and forth...

...from side to side...

...back and forth...

...from side to side...

..._hypnotically_.

"Carly Shay, you are forgetting everything that happened before the knock on the door...

"...all you can focus on is the big, fascinating gift bag that's in front of you...

"...and your overwhelming curiosity to know what's insi-"

I grabbed it.

She patted my head. "That's my girl."

I reached into the bag and pulled out two large boxes. Both were wrapped with gold foil, embossed with tiny stars; and tied with royal blue, satin ribbons.

One box was tagged 'Carly'.

And the other one was tagged 'Sam'.

But there was no card or other clue as to who had sent them.

She sat down on the bed.

I handed her box to her...

...and picked up my own...

...and we both tore off the wrapping paper in a frenzy...

...and whipped off the lids...

...and then I knew...

...without a doubt...

...that they were from Socko.

My twelve pairs were stripes, argyles, solids and checks...

...mostly in shades of pink and purple.

Her twelve pairs were plaids, solids, herringbone, and other patterns...

...including one with what looked like _flaming arrows_...

...mostly in shades of blue and gray.

I tried to bend forward, toward my feet...

...but she insisted that that would put unnecessary pressure on my incision...

...so she helped me try on every pair...

...while offering commentary on each one.

"Hmmmm...horizontal stripes. I don't know. Vertical stripes would be much better...they wouldn't make your ankles look so fat-Ow!"

I threw a pair at her head.

Hard.

"Just kidding! Just kidding! Your know as well as I do that your ankles are absolutely adorable!"

As soon as I'd modeled all twelve pairs for her...

...she stuck her feet into my face. "My turn!"

I tickled them.

She shrieked. "Stop that! And help me try mine on!"

Lazy bitch.

I did.

Every pair...

...while offering commentary on each one.

"Hmm...this herringbone design reminds me of fish...so now the way your feet _look..._match the way they _smell_!"

She lunged at me...

...but I was ready for her...

...and, maneuvering my hands under her outstretched arms...

...I ruthlessly tickled her sides.

"No! Stop It! _STOP IT!_"

"Dream on...because I'm _never_ gonna stop!"

Desperate to escape...

...she threw herself backward onto the mattress...

...and landed on top of the gift bag.

"Ow!"

And, as she sat up, rubbing her aching back...

...I leaned behind her...

...retrieved the bag...

...reached inside...

...and pulled out a third, much smaller box from the bottom.

She snatched it out of my hands "Gimme!"

"Hey, I saw it first!"

"Yeah, but I_ felt_ it first!"

She had a point.

She had the gift wrap off in seconds.

And, as she removed the lid...

...I stared down...

...in disappointment...

...at the single pair of flesh-colored socks inside it.

I looked up at her. "Those aren't very attractive...and what's that at the top of the toes...Velcro?"

She smiled hopefully. "No..is it...yes! It is!"

She pulled them from the box...

...and then reached back inside it.

And, less than a minute later...

...she was slapping a tiny blonde wig onto one sock, and a tiny brunette wig onto the other.

"Don't you see, Carls? They're not just socks...they're puppets!"

Before I could reply, she had found the sheet of adhesive 'googly eyes' at the bottom of the box and was eagerly attaching one pair to each sock.

And then she put them on her hands.

_And then_...

...while cringing at her completely inaccurate (not to mention highly unflattering) impersonation of my voice...

...I was forced to endure the following performance:

C: I'm Carly!

S: And I'm Sam!

C: And that about wraps up our show for this even-

S: Wait, Carls...what's your rush? Let's give our fans their money's worth!

C: But...the show is free!

S: You're missing the point! The night is young! And so are we! So, let's start out with a few jokes.

C: Jokes?

S: Well, they're more like truths, actually.

C: I don't understand what you mean, Sam. Can you give me an example?

S: Sure, Carls! For example, Freddie is_ so dumb..._

C: Really, Sam? How dumb is he?

S: Freddie is so dumb...that he was hit by a Parked Car!

C: Ha-ha, Sam! More! Please! Immediately!

S: I thought you'd never ask. Okay, Freddie is _so dumb_...

C: Really, Sam? How dumb is he?

S: Freddie is so dumb...that it took him an Hour to make Minute Rice!

C: Hee-hee! Oh, God, Sam! You're killing me over here! But don't stop! I'm begging you!"

S: Well...if you insist. Freddie is _so dumb_...

C: Really, Sam? How dumb is he?

S: Freddie is so dumb...that he tried to commit suicide by jumping out of a _Basement _Window!

C: Oh, Sam! Oh, my God! You're so funny that you just made me pee my-

Enough was enough.

I leaned down and bit her foot.

Hard.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"Now that I have your attention..."

"Come on, Carls, I'm on a roll here!"

"Oh, no you're not! Your roll is officially over!"

"But...but-"

I yanked both sock puppets off her hands...

...and whacked her over the head with them.

Hard.

"Ow!"

"Now stop being so mean! You haven't had to see Freddie all summer!"

She paused, and then smiled gratefully. "That's true, and best of all, he's all the way over on the other side of the country! It's the only good idea his mom has ever had...well two ideas, actually...since she decided to go with him...no, wait! Maybe three...since he said that they may never come bac-"

I shook my head. "Sam...they're going to come back...eventually."

She looked at me in horror. "No! Don't say that! You'll jinx it!"

"I'm not trying to jinx anything. I just have a feeling that they're going to come bac-"

"Don't say it_ again_!"

"You know what, Sam? You're right! Why are we wasting time discussing trivia...when there are _much more important _things on our agenda. Because we both know what time it is now. It's _way past time _for you to-"

She jumped to her feet. "Yes! It's way past time for me to...play one-sided Hall Sockey!"

I was stunned. "Hall Sockey? What the hell is-"

"Don't ask questions...we're wasting valuable time here!"

In less than a minute, she'd scooped up every pair of socks from where they lay, scattered across the bed, and flung them at me.

"Here! Sort these into matching pairs and roll them up! All of them! As fast as you can! I'll be right back!"

Before I could recover from my confusion and demand an explanation...

...she had run out of the room...

...but soon returned with one of Spencer's golf clubs.

"Sam? What are you doing with that putter?"

"Keep rolling, Carls! You're the goalie."

Before I could ask what that meant...

...I found myself at one end of the hallway...

...sitting on my desk chair...

...with a basket piled high with rolled-up socks on my lap...

...and with my pink-and-purple-striped 'goal post' legs spread _far, far apart_...

...while she warmed up at the other end...

...by sliding back and forth on the hardwood floor wearing her new blue/gray/orange, 'flaming arrow' socks.

Okay," she called, "I'm a little rusty on my lateral moves, but-"

"Sam? What the hell are we-"

She shook her head. "All you have to do is pitch."

"All right! Fine! I'm really annoyed that you're being so infuriatingly-"

"No, Carls, I said _'pitch'_, not 'bitch'!"

(I knew what she'd meant.)

She wrapped both hands firmly around the top of the putter. "It would be more fun if you could play defense, instead of goalie...but-"

Without letting her finish, I expertly threw the first pair...

...bouncing them (intentionally) off her head.

"Hey!"

"Oops...sorry Sam," I called down the hall 'innocently'. "I haven't pitched for a while."

She shot me a filthy look. "Don't push your luck, Shay...I know where you live."

I threw the second pair with precision...

...hitting her squarely in the boobs.

"Hey! You did that on purpose!"

I smiled sweetly. "Sorry...shall we call interference?"

"Zip your lip, Shay! Right n-"

Come on, Sam, with two _huge obstacles_ like that...how could you possibly fault me for hit-

She leaned forward...

...pushed off from the floor with her right foot...

...'skated' rapidly down the hall...

...and skidded to a halt directly in front of me.

Leaning down, she snarled, "Guess what happens to bad girls in the 'penalty box'?"

I smiled deviously. "Well, if it's what I'm hoping it is..."

I dumped the entire basket of socks over her head.

As soon as she had finished retrieving all of the balled-up socks (ha-ha(!) and returned the filled basket to me, she leaned far over, until her nose was an inch from mine.

"You are _so_ gonna get it tonight!" she announced menacingly.

"Ooh! I sure hope so! I chucked her under the chin...

...as she rolled her eyes. "You're hopeless!"

"Hmm...that must be due to the company I keep!"

She opened her mouth to respond...

...but then changed her mind...

...and 'skated' furiously (literally and figuratively) back down to her end of the hall.

Ninety minutes later...

...when my pitching arm was completely, totally, utterly worn out from all the sock throwing...

...I found myself back in bed...

...with her massaging it.

"Sam that feels so-"

"You should have warmed up first, Carls. I don't want you to be sore tomorrow."

"I'll be okay."

She leaned down and kissed me. "I love you," she whispered.

I leaned up and buried my face in her chest.

"You're not crying, are you, Cupcake?"

I shook my head.

Deep breath.

"Sam? Aren't you tired out from all that, uh, exertion?"

"Not really."

I pulled back, looked up at her, and smiled broadly. "Good! Because now it's time for you to-"

She rolled off the bed.

"You're absolutely right! It's time for me to...check the Chuck Chambers roast!"

And she was out of the room like a shot.

Fuck.

Forty-five minutes later...

...we were shoveling down an awesome entree.

"How's dinner?" She asked.

"Excellent. And Sam..."

"Yeah?"

"I'd like to be dessert."

Her face fell.

"Oops! I'm So Sorry! What I meant was...can I be your _second_ dessert?"

"You don't have to ask me twice!" she replied, her mouth stuffed full of braised carrots.

Charming.

One huge bowl of chocolate mousse _and_ one insignificant shower later...

...I was on my back...

...acting totally submissive...

...letting her believe that all I was thinking about were my own selfish needs.

Barely touching her at all.

After about ten minutes of letting her indulge me...

...while I almost completely ignored _her_...

...I was convinced that I had lulled her into a false sense of security...

...so I reached for Buzz...

...and turned him on.

Rolling over on top of her, I pinned her, face-up, under my chest and whispered, "Can I please use it on you, Sam? Just for a minute? I promise we don't even have to finish! I promise! It would be such a turn-on for me to watch you getting-"

She shook her head. "It's late Carls. You need to catch up on your sleep."

Wrong answer.

I pushed myself up into a kneeling position. "Please, Sam? It's only going to be for a minute!"

Before she could respond...

...I set Buzz aside...

...took hold of her boxers with both hands...

...and pulled them gently, but firmly, down to her knees.

She grabbed my upper arms. "Carls...I can't-"

"Yes you can," I answered softly, picking up Buzz and lowering him between her thighs.

I expected her to protest...

...but instead, as I moved Buzz slowly and steadily toward her vagina...

...thrilled beyond words that I was_ finally _about to help her release all of her stress...

...her left hand slid down my arm...

...and onto my right hand...

...as her right hand moved lower...

...and yanked my panties down...

...and then, before I could protest...

...I felt my right hand being pushed upward...

...and then...

...I felt...

...a very strong vibrating sensation against my favorite spot.

"Sam!"

"Shh."

"Sam, No!"

"Shh. Don't try to talk, Carls."

"But _I_...but _you_...but _aaaah_!"

And I fell over onto my back.

Ten minutes later...

...once I had stopped screaming...

...and my panties were back on...

...I reached up and grabbed her butt with both hands.

She looked down at me in surprise.

"Okay, Sam, that makes Three Times for me...so now it's _definitely_ your tur-"

"Shh...Carls, I'm not quite finished with you yet."

"What do you mean, Sam? It's time now for _you _to hav-MMMPH!" I exclaimed, my voice muffled by the pillow that my face had landed in...

...when she flipped me over onto my stomach.

I tried to raise myself up, but she straddled my lower legs while caressing my butt; and then, moving her hands upward, she began to slide them up to my shoulders, and back down again.

Slowly and sensually.

Over and over.

"How does that feel?"

"Amaz-z-z-"

XXXXX

I opened my eyes...

...and looked at the clock.

9:43...

...A.M.

_Damn It! Damn It! Damn It!_

_Not Again!_

But then...

...as I lifted my head and looked out the window...

...at the pouring rain...

...I smiled.

Widely.

You can call me a sissy if you want to, but I generally hate downpours because of all the thunder and lightning that usually accompanies them.

But not today.

Today, torrential rain is going to be my best friend...

...because I finally have a plan.

One that can't possibly fail.

It's amazing what you can come up with after a good night's sleep.

I rolled over onto my back and stretched leisurely in all directions. It felt so good to move around again.

But enough of that for the moment...

...because now it's time to finalize the details.

I needed to be alone with my thoughts for awhile, so I rolled over onto my right side, curled up into a ball, pulled the covers around myself, and up over my head...

...and then, while snuggled up...

...completely isolated and very contented...

...in my warm and cozy cave...

...I laid out my strategy, step by step, with utmost care.

Leaving absolutely nothing to chance.

About fifteen minutes later, when I finally emerged (with my face flushed due to lack of oxygen), from 'battle headquarters'; I rolled over onto my left side, and saw Sam shift in her sleep, murmuring something that sounded like 'wish-wash'.

And, as I looked across the bed...

...at her deceptively-innocent sleeping face...

...I whispered, "Get lots of rest, Sam...

...because tonight's the night."

A/N: The more you review...

...the more I'm inspired...

...and the faster I update...


	11. Chapter 11

Even though I realized that I'd need to visit the bathroom soon...

...for more than one reason...

...I also realized that The Master Plan was now my top priority...

...so I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.

But, finally, around eleven-fifteen, I couldn't wait anymore.

I had to pee.

Right away.

As I opened my eyes and looked across the bed at Sam, I saw that she, too, was just waking up.

"Wow, Carls...we slept for a long time," she announced...between yawns.

"Uh, yeah...we did," I agreed, turning away as I answered...not wanting her to notice any possible hint of ulterior motive in my eyes.

She crawled over to me. "Pee?"

I leaned up and hugged her. "Definitely! And the sooner the better!"

I wanted to walk...

...but she hopped off the bed...

...lifted me up in her arms...

...and carried me.

I kissed her, non-stop, all the way to the bathroom.

After her usual morning phone call, and a very late breakfast (hmm...what_ did_ we have...oh, yeah...Fat Cakes(!), she asked, "So, what should we do now? Why don't you practice walking?"

Time to implement Phase One of my plan.

I shook my head. "Sam, do you mind if we skip that today?"

She frowned. "I guess not...but are you feeling-"

"I feel fine," I answered quickly. "What I'd really like to do right now is take a nap."

She looked surprised. "A nap? We just slept for almost twelve hours."

I nodded. "Yes, but it's raining like crazy; so this really good sleeping weather...let's not waste it!"

She looked doubtful...

...but only for a moment.

"Well, okay," she answered, lying back down and holding out her arms.

I moved into them and closed my eyes with a sigh; turning my attention toward the rain's rhythmic tapping...

...against my windows...

...and away from the _other_ damp, insistent tapping...

...between my legs.

Around three-thirty in the afternoon...

...I awoke, reluctantly...

...because, even though I was trying my hardest to ignore it...

...my stomach was demanding lunch.

And I had no choice but to give in to it.

I kissed Sam awake.

She sat up, yawned and stretched, and then looked over at me. "Wow, Carls...I_ never_ sleep this much during the day...unless I'm at school!"

Before I could reply, with one (or all) of the four sarcastic remarks that immediately sprang to mind...

...her stomach roared ferociously...

...and, without so much as an apologetic glance in my direction...

...she scrambled off the bed and hurtled out the door.

An hour later, after we had each knocked off two chicken salad sandwiches (Sam's were big) and two slices of marble-swirl pound cake (Sam's were huge)...

...I sprawled lazily on my back...

...rubbing my blissfully-full stomach...

...and, moments later, looked up to see Sam, her palms planted on the mattress, hovering over me.

"Well, Carls, _Girly Cow_ doesn't come on again for another couple of hours; so while we're waiting, why don't we go downstairs and watch _Dr. Slime's Literary Classics_? I think today's episode is going to be _A Midsummer Night's Scream_."

I looked back at her through half-closed eyes. "Thanks...but no thanks. I'm still kinda beat."

Her jaw dropped. "How can you say that? Are you sure you're feeling okay?"

Her hand flew up to my forehead.

"I feel _fine_," I insisted. "You know, Sam...you were right. I really do need to catch up on my sleep."

She didn't look entirely convinced, but answered, "Well...I guess so...and while you're doing that, I think I'll-"

(Oh, no, no, _no_, Miss Puckett...

...you're not going_ anywhere_.

Not today.)

Before she could begin to describe her intended plans...

...I pulled her down onto my chest, slid my hands up under her shirt, and began to rub her back.

After recovering from her initial surprise...

...she tried to get up, but I flattened my palms...

...immobilizing her...

...before they resumed caressing her...

...and she (reluctantly) gave in.

Before long, I felt her body relax against mine.

"Carls-" she murmured.

"Shh. Close your eyes."

"But, Carls...I'm not the least bit sleepy...so don't do that, pleez-z-z-z-"

With a smug smile...

...I closed my eyes.

But, no more than an hour later...

...I awoke with a start.

Because, suddenly, I remembered what we were having for dinner.

And, apparently, so did Sam...

...because she was already awake.

And looking at me..

...with utmost dread and apprehension.

I immediately pushed her off my chest. "Get downstairs, Sam...fast! For God's sake...RUN!"

She was out of the room like a shot.

Tonight's dinner is going to be fish and chips, and both Sam and I had _absolutely_ _forbidden_ Spencer to make it unless one of us was present; since he's not allowed to play with that much hot oil without supervision.

I used the ensuing forty-five minutes to take another fast nap.

After a memorable dinner...and an_ un_-memorable shower...Sam schlepped the empty tray back downstairs.

She soon returned, stopping at the bedroom mirror...

...and I called across the room, "Is he gone?"

She turned to face me. "Yeah, Cupcake; he said that he's gonna be out at Socko's place, sketching bats all night."

Then she added, with a meaningful smile, "So now, you can make _as much noise as you want to,_ without having to worry about him hearing-"

I yawned. "Not tonight, Sam. I'm so exhaus-"

She flung down her hairbrush. "That's it! First thing tomorrow, I'm making you an appointment with Dr. An-"

(Uh-oh!)

(Unforeseen, not-so-minor crisis.)

"No! Not that! I don't need to go to the doc-"

She was at my bedside in an instant.

"Carly Shay, if you're thinking of sleep _instead of Buzz _right now_,_ especially since you already slept all last night..._and _most of today...then I have to _insist_ that you-"

"No, Sam! I'm not go-"

Hands on hips, she leaned far over me. "Oh, yes, you _are_ going to the doctor! You've lost so much blood recently that you're probably-"

"No! Please, Sam! I swear it's not that! I just spent an entire hellish week on my back..._getting no sleep at all!_ "

I saw the doubt in her eyes.

She was reconsidering.

Reaching up, I grabbed her hands tightly between my own. "Please don't make me go! I'm just trying to make up for lost time! Please!"

She wrestled with her uncertainty for what seemed forever...

...but finally, she rolled her eyes and exhaled huffily. "Okay, Okay! You don't have to go..._and_ we'll go to sleep early!"

I smiled to myself.

(That's right, Sam; we will.

Because there's No Way you're gonna make me sleep later...

...and there's No Way that I'll let_ you_ fall asleep later...

...not until I've finished with you.)

Scowling, she flung herself down onto the bed and pulled up the covers...

...and I snuggled up next to her.

Long pause.

"Carls?"

I opened my eyes and looked over at her. "Hmm?"

"Would you like to, uh...'have one'...you know...to help you fall asleep?" she asked, looking back at me...

...hopefully.

"No. Thanks." I replied with a dreamy smile. I began to move away from her...

...but she immediately pulled me closer, and I found my face inches from hers. "It's been_ hours_...so...are you sure about that?"

I nodded. "I know I'm not going to have any problem falling asleep tonight."

Looking more than a little disappointed, she closed her eyes.

Time to implement Phase Two of my plan.

Long pause.

I rolled over on top of her.

"Sam?"

She opened her eyes lazily and looked up at me. "Yeah?"

I wrapped my arms around her neck. "Before I go to sleep...would you like me to help _you_ 'have one'?"

"No," she answered quickly.

Which was the response I had expected...

...and planned for.

I ran a hand through her hair and smiled at her lovingly. "It's been _months_...so...are you sure about that?" I asked softly.

She averted her eyes. "I'm sure."

"Okay. That's fine," I replied...

...cheerfully.

Still staring at the wall, she flinched at my answer; apparently surprised that I'd given up so easily.

I took a deep breath.

"Sam? Look at me."

She slowly turned her face back to mine. "Yeah?"

"Before you go to sleep, there's something I need to say."

She was eying me warily. "O-kay."

I reached down and took her hand. "I just want to tell you how sorry I am for all the times I tried to make you be intimate with me, when it's obvious that you have absolutely no interest. That was _so wrong_...and I'm _so sorry_...and don't worry...because I give you my word that I'm not going to ask you to anymore. Not ever."

She looked surprised. "Carls...I-"

"Wait, I'm not finished. I owe you another apology...for all the times I pushed you to tell me why you don't want to be with me. That was_ so_ selfish of me, and I'm really, _really sorry_. Whatever _is_ bothering you, I realize now that you don't want me to know anything about it...nothing at all...and I have to respect that. So from now on, no more trying to pry into your personal-"

Her eyebrows shot up. "But-"

I held up my hand.

"No, Sam, it's fine. You've made your wishes perfectly clear to me, time after time, and I'm really sorry that I didn't honor them for so long...so, starting now, I'm going to respect your right to privacy. Completely. I'm not going to try to make you tell me anything about why you refuse to be intimate with me, or even ask you anything of a personal nature at all. Never again."

From her stunned expression, you would think she'd just heard that her mom had joined a convent.

"Carls, I-"

"Shh. No, Sam. It's not necessary. I know how much it upsets you to confide in me...so don't. It's perfectly okay...and I understand completely. You don't have to worry about it...or even think about it anymore. I'll never be so selfish as to expect that from you again. From now on, we'll just talk about general, non-threatening, non-personal subjects...you know, like the weather."

She opened her mouth again...

...but absolutely no sound came out...

...and that's when I knew...

...beyond a shadow of a doubt...

...from the expression on her face...

...and from the look in her eyes...

...and from her sudden and complete lack of verbal ability...

...that the seed most definitely had been planted.

Deeply.

Time to let it germinate.

So, after one fast peck on her lips...

...which she apparently was too stunned to return...

...I moved off her...

...over toward my edge of the bed.

I knew that she would be too bewildered to follow me.

Rolling over onto my stomach, I closed my eyes and began to focus on my breathing...

...in and out...

...in and out...

...in and out.

A few short minutes later, it felt like my body was rocking...

...not from side to side...

...but forward and backward...

...rhythmically and repeatedly...

...as I was lifted up...

...and I felt myself being enveloped in warm sunlight...

...as I drifted away effortlessly.

A few short minutes later...

...the rocking stopped suddenly...

...as my feet slammed down onto hard concrete.

I opened my eyes.

Even though I had never been farther East than my disastrous trip to Wisconsin...

...and even though there were no recognizable landmarks nearby...

...I somehow knew...

...without a doubt...

...that I had landed in the middle of Manhattan...

...in the middle of October...

...in the middle of the afternoon.

As I scanned my immediate surroundings...

...I didn't see anyone I knew.

But that was okay.

It wasn't the reason I was here.

Still, even though the city street was very crowded...

...with people from all walks of life...

...I _also _didn't seethe one person who I _was _looking for.

But I knew I'd find him.

I had to.

And I'd keep looking until I did find him.

Because I desperately hoped that he had the answer...

...and, when we finally did meet...

...that he'd share it with me.

Flipping up the collar of my long, double-breasted, navy wool overcoat...

...I started to walk.

East.

I smiled at a few random people I passed...

...but no one smiled back or even acknowledged me at all.

Was I invisible?

I fervently hoped not.

Less than five minutes later, I realized that I couldn't walk any farther...

...because a low brick wall was blocking my path.

Central Park.

Turning to my right, I headed south for two blocks...

...until I reached an open entrance gate.

Turning left, I went in.

A few minutes later, the shady, wooded path I was following broadened considerably; and I crossed to a sun-drenched bench on the far side of it, and sat down.

And looked around.

There were a few random people nearby, engaged in random activities...

...but, even though I smiled and nodded at each of them in turn...

...no one seemed to notice me.

Slightly unnerved, I looked down and kicked the pile of fallen leaves at my feet...

...and, much to my relief, they scattered.

I am here.

I am solid.

Thank God.

A few minutes later, a blonde lady wearing a blue track suit passed by, eating a hot pretzel.

"Hi!" I called. " Lovely day, isn't it?"

She stopped momentarily; turned to me, smiled, and nodded.

I'm guessing that she didn't speak because she was busy chewing...

...but that was okay, because I was finally assured that...

...I am visible.

And that was of utmost importance...

...because I wanted him to be able to find me easily.

And, somehow, I was sure that he would...

...so I leaned back against the bench...

...and sat staring straight ahead, at nothing in particular, for maybe ten minutes.

Lost in thought.

Waiting patiently.

And then, I was aware that he was approaching...

...but I heard him before I actually saw him...

...due to the slightly muffled, but still perfectly audible, jingling sound he was making as he walked.

I looked to my right...

...and sure enough, there he was, walking/jingling his way up the path.

Toward me.

I'm not sure how I knew...

...but I was absolutely certain that he was _the one_.

Several years ago, I read in a _Psychology Magazine_ article that every single character we encounter in our dreams is really some part of _us. _

To this day,I'm still not sure if that's true...

...but if it _is_...

...I didn't recognize myself.

According to color charts I've studied, my hair color and complexion classify me as a 'Winter'...

...but he most definitely was the color of 'Autumn'.

As he sloped along confidently, with a kind of unstudied, casual grace...

...looking straight ahead, taking no notice of me...

...yet steadily moving closer and closer...

...his features came more sharply into focus...

...and I took the opportunity to size him up.

He appeared to be about twenty-six, around five-eleven...

...broad-shouldered, but not like a weight-lifter...

...he looked more like an intellectual...

...one who kept fit by doing cardio...

...a rower perhaps?

The gradually-lengthening rays of the afternoon sun, which back-lit his approaching figure, accented the gold highlights in the short, chestnut hair which framed his handsome, clean-shaven face...

...which, itself, radiated calm, self-assurance.

The face of someone who had answers.

He was wearing neatly-pressed, yet comfortably-broken-in, charcoal-gray flannels...

...and a cable-knit, v-neck sweater, apparently new; in the most indescribably-gorgeous shade of marine blue that I've ever seen...

...over a blue and white Bengal-stripe dress shirt.

The instant he reached the bench where I was sitting...

...he turned from the path and, without an invitation...

...and without looking at me...

...he sat down on the other end of it.

He knew that I was waiting for him.

I had absolutely no idea how to begin the conversation.

But, as it turned out, I didn't have to.

He sat in relaxed silence, looking straight ahead, contemplating the statue of Christopher Columbus that was directly across from us, on the patch of grass at the opposite side of the path...

...as I waited.

Finally, eyes still on the statue, he spoke.

"It's great to live so close to the sea, don't you think?"

I hesitated. "Well, actually, I'm from the West Coast, but-"

He turned to face me.

"I know that," he answered with a smile...

...not volunteering how he knew...

...and catching me completely off guard.

Still, I had to concede that he was right.

"Oh. Well, yeah...living by the sea _is_ enjoyable. Are you from around here?"

He nodded. "I especially enjoy long walks on the beach...right at sunrise. You do too, don't you?"

Correct again.

"Yes, I do...especially during sunset." I paused, and then added, "But I hate when you're so deep in thought that you forget your surroundings; and then a huge wave rolls in unexpectedly...and washes over your shoes."

He shook his head. "Don't hate when that happens...it's actually a good thing."

And, once more, I was caught off guard. "What do you mean by that?"

Instead of answering my question directly, he said, "Okay, let's see them,"...

...while gesturing toward the huge shopping bag at my feet.

Did I have that with me earlier? At first I wasn't sure...

...but then I remembered that I most definitely had been shopping.

Anyway, I knew exactly what he was referring to...

...so I reached down, deep inside the over-stuffed bag...

...and pulled out the shoe box.

Lifting the lid, I held the box out to him.

He leaned over, looked inside for a moment, and then he lifted his eyes to mine and smiled. "Your first pair of Top-Siders."

I almost dropped the box.

"Well, yes...they are...but how do you know that?'

"You usually wear boots or sneakers," was his answer.

With shaking hands, I closed the box and returned it to the shopping bag.

Turning back to him, I replied, "Yes...but how do you know-"

He shook his head. "Now, what's the first thing you have to do after you buy a new pair of Top-Siders?"

What kind of question was that?

"I...have no idea."

He looked at me with a most-serious expression. "You have to put them on, and run through the ocean...repeatedly...and then let the sea water dry on them...so they'll be permanently salt-stained."

Unbelievable.

"But...why would I want to do_ that_? Especially to a_ new_ pair of-"

"So when you travel_ inland_, people will know that you live on the Coast," he replied, matter-of-factly.

I frowned. "You mean like...a status symbol? I've never considered myself to be a show-off."

"No. Not at all. You should do it so when people see you, they'll have an idea of who you are."

I waited...

...but he didn't volunteer any additional explanation.

Still confused, I began, "I'm not sure I understand what you- "

"Do you know that you can tell a lot about a person by their shoes and their underwear?" he asked, suddenly.

I shot him a skeptical look

He shook his head. "It's true. Their shoes are who they want you to _think_ they are, but their underwear is who they _really_ are. For example, a lady might be dressed like a librarian, all prim and proper, with sensible shoes; but underneath she might be wearing racy, lacy lingerie."

I didn't know how to respond, so I just continued to stare at him in polite, profoundly-puzzled silence.

"Come on," he said, with an encouraging smile. "What do my shoes say about me?"

Gamely, I leaned over and glanced at them, and then scanned him from head to toe, noticing that the bottom edge of his sweater was riding up in the back.

After a short period of reflection, I replied, "Well, uh, I see that they match your belt...so you _do_ have some sense of style."

He seemed disappointed. "Too obvious. That's a valid answer, but not the best one. Try again."

I leaned over again and looked more closely. "I don't know...do they say that...you like the color 'brown'?"

"You're missing the mark. Try again."

I silently contemplated them one more time, from all angles, before declaring, "I give up."

"Come on. Try again."

"I..don't know," I replied, shaking my head.

"You give up _way too easily_."

I found that last remark to be more than a little annoying.

After a long silence, during which I was hoping he'd drop the subject he said, "Well? Try again. You're still not getting-."

Enough.

"I don't know!" I snapped. "Why don't_ you_ tell me what they say!"

"Carly?"

"Yes, Charles? Wait How do you know my-

"-and how do I know your-"

He smiled and shrugged.

Despite being quite confused, I managed to pull myself together without too much difficulty; and then I leaned back against the bench with a sigh. "I'm sorry. I have no idea what your shoes say about-"

He turned to face me, hiking his left knee up onto the bench; and then he leaned forward. "Carly, tell me about the last time you saw a ceiling fan."

What? A ceiling f-...oh, no.

I've_ heard_ that New York is a Wonderland for Weirdos...

...and now I have to deal with one!

That's just great!

I looked back down at his feet. "What the hell do ceiling fans have to do with your shoes?"

"Shh. You'll see. Just look away from my shoes and think about the last ceiling fan you saw."

I directed my attention across the path, to the Columbus statue.

"Uh, well...okay. One morning, a little over two months ago, my brother asked me to pick up some business cards that he'd had printed...he's an artist...so, that afternoon, I stopped by _Parkview Press_, which is about five blocks from where I live. And while I was waiting for the counter guy to get the cards from the back room, I happened to glance up at the shop's filthy ceiling fan...and, when I noticed how dusty and cruddy it was, I was convinced that it probably hadn't been cleaned since they bought-"

I stopped...

...and turned to face him.

"Your shoes aren't new, but it's easy to see that they were very expensive...and they're still in very good condition...because they've recently had new heels put on them...and they're polished...so they say that you appreciate good quality stuff, _and_ you buy the best you can afford, _and _you take very good care of it."

"Excellen-"

"Wait! _And_ they're lace up, cap-toe oxfords, but the toes are more rounded than pointed, so they're comfortable, as well as stylish...so they say that you walk a lot...which also corresponds to the fact that you had them re-heeled."

"Well done, Carly!" he exclaimed.

I wasn't expecting such an enthusiastic response. "R-really?"

"Yes. You're exactly right...good job!"

I beamed back at him...

...and leaned back against the bench in quiet triumph.

But then, as I sat there...

...basking in the afterglow of having found the correct answer to such a difficult question...

...I began to curse my insatiable curiosity...

...which, for the record, has plagued me all of my life...

...because...

...even though I was trying my hardest to resist...

...with everything that I had in me...

...I found it impossible to stop myself from asking the next question.

I turned to face him once again. "So, uh...what does your underwear say about you?"

"Sorry, no comment," he answered.

Which was not acceptable to me.

"Come on! You started this conversation! What does it say?"

"I'm not going to tell you," was his prompt - and unsatisfying - response.

"What? Why not!"

He shook his head regretfully.

"Tell me!"

"I'm sorry, Carly."

"Why not?" I insisted.

"Because that's classified information," he replied.

Which only intensified my already-uncontrollable urge to know.

Immediately.

"Get over here!"

After a moment's hesitation, he rose slowly to his feet and walked over to my end of the bench; standing in front of where I sat, looking down at me without speaking.

I glanced around nervously, but the park was suddenly and completely deserted.

But somehow I knew that it would be.

I looked up at him impatiently. "Well? I'm waiting."

He shook his head.

Which really pissed me off.

"Come on! Show me!"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I'm sorry, but-"

"Well then, at least _tell me_!"

"I'm sorry, Carly."

Wrong answer.

"You'd better tell me! Right now! Or else!"

His face remained impassive. "You know as well as I do that I'm not going to-"

Furious at his refusal to cooperate, I began fumbling with his belt...

...and then with his button...

...and then with his zipper...

...while he smiled down at me in amusement.

Finally...

...his pants were open...

...and I dragged them down past his knees, hearing them jingle as I did.

He obligingly lifted his shirttail.

"Well? What's your first impression?"

Somehow I knew that I could be honest without offending him.

"Tighty-whities! Yuck! Booooring! And not exactly fashionable right n-"

"Carly?"

I looked up to see him frowning at me.

"You're going about this the wrong way. What you just said is _your own personal opinion_. Now, what does my underwear say about _me_?"

"I don't know!"

"Try again."

Fuming and frustrated, I leaned forward...

...reached around behind him...

...grabbed his butt with both hands...

...and pulled him to me...

...and sat, looking closely at his underpants.

For more than a minute.

But I still was completely stumped.

Long stretch of silence.

"Carly?"

"I don't know!" I yelled in exasperation. "Why don't_ you_ tell me what they say!"

"I can't do that, Carly, but I _can_ help you. Stop staring at them."

I immediately shifted my gaze down toward his shoes, and to his trousers, which lay like a rippled, gray flannel pool around his ankles.

"Good girl. Now tell me about the last time you bought a toothbrush."

I snapped my head back up. "Huh? What the hell does my toothbrush have to do with you under-"

"Carly? Toothbrush."

"Okay, fine!"

Once again, I lowered my eyes to the ground.

"Uh, a little over a month ago, I had just finished brushing my teeth, and I was only half awake when I went to put my toothbrush back into the stand. Anyway, as I did, it slipped out of my hand, bounced off the edge of the sink, and landed right in the toilet. And, even though I always clean the entire bathroom twice a week, there was no way I was going to use it again after that!

"But that afternoon, on my way home from school, I had forgotten all about it, and so I walked right by the big pharmacy that's near Meridian Park. Since I didn't feel like backtracking, I stopped instead at the convenience store that's across the street from my apartment building. They don't have much of a selection, but the people who work there are really nice. Anyway, I did find one soft-bristled brush, but it was orange...and I hate that color...but I bought it anyway, because I needed one for the next day. And now, every morning when I brush my-"

I stopped...

...and looked up at him.

"Your underwear looks nearly new, which means that you haven't worn them very often...which probably means they're your bottom-of-the-drawer-ones. And you put them on today because they're your last clean pair...which means that you had to do laundry. And you did. You just finished dropping off your recently-cleaned clothes at your apartment...and you decided that it was a nice day for a walk in the park...and that jingling sound in your pockets is from all the extra quarters that you didn't need while you were at the laundromat."

He nodded. "Very Good. These _were_ my last clean ones...but what kind would I be wearing if today wasn't 'laundry day'? And what would they say about me."

I thought it over for a minute. "No idea."

"Come on, Carly, you can do this."

I stared at my feet...

...and thought it over again...

...but no answers presented themselves. "I just don't know!"

"Carly? Tell me about the food in your school cafeteria."

Eyes still turned downward, I slapped my knees with both hands. Hard. "What the hell does that have to do with your under-"

"Carly. Cafeteria."

"Okay, okay! The food there is so disgusting that I cringe every time I get in the lunch line and see what's written on the menu board at the cafeteria entrance. But, then again, at least they have the decency to label the crime! Which is a relief, because it's impossible to identify most of that glop by sight alone! And, worst of all, I can't tell you how many times I've had a stormy stomach from eating in-"

I froze...

...and looked up at his underwear...

...and then, farther up, into his eyes.

"You'd _still_ be wearing white briefs...you always do...because you're secure enough in who you are that you don't care whether or not they're fashionable..._and_ you like that they give you good support, which means that you're a practical sort of person...which is also the reason why you like white...because there's no colors to fade or run in the wash."

He smiled. "I couldn't have said it better myself."

And then...

...as I was congratulating myself for getting it right once again...

...I suddenly thought of something else.

Something _very_ different.

Something that _I couldn't believe_ I was thinking.

And I started to tremble.

I lifted my gaze to his.

He nodded. "Go ahead. It's okay. We both know that you need to see for yourself."

I began nervously twisting my hands in my lap. "I...don't know."

"It doesn't make you a bad girl. You know as well as I do that it doesn't. So go ahead."

I looked around.

There was still no one else in sight.

But somehow, I knew that there wouldn't be.

So, after a long moment's hesitation...

...I stretched my trembling right hand forward...

...palm upward...

...and rested it against his crotch.

On the outside of his underwear.

He didn't move.

I didn't breathe.

And then...

...after almost a minute of profound silence...

...I said it.

What I've never said to any guy...

...before...

...or since.

"I...want to."

He nodded. "Go ahead. See for yourself."

And I pressed my palm against the soft bulge at the top of his thighs.

He leaned forward and over...

...resting his hands on my shoulders...

...as I began to rub my hand against him.

And then, as I watched...

...and soon felt...

...his 'personals' suddenly were no longer limp...

...and, instead of hanging downward, they were now pushing forward, firmly, against the inside of the front of his underpants...

...pressing back against my palm...

...with a pressure equal to what it was exerting against them.

"Help me," I requested...

...and he began to push his hips forward...

...forcefully...

...repeatedly...

...and, within seconds, what was underneath my palm had become totally rigid.

And began to feel very, very hot to the touch.

I had never done anything like this before.

I had never touched any guy's crotch...

...or even opened any guy's pants...

...but the few guys who I _had_ made out with...

...going only to second base...

...before fighting them off (successfully, thank God(!)...

...were entirely different.

After only a few kisses...

...they all were hyperventilating like crazy...

...and their hands were everywhere...

...but, as I listened to his breathing...

...which was very deep and slow and masterful...

...I knew that he trusted me...

...and so...

...I realized that I could trust him.

Completely.

I shifted my attention from his breathing...

...down to his bulge...

...which was now more than twice its original size...

...straining forward insistently, _demanding_ to be released...

...and then I shifted my focus even further downward...

...to what was happening between my own legs.

Which was absolutely nothing.

I stopped moving my hand...

...and looked up at him.

Questioningly.

He nodded. "Go ahead. See for yourself."

And, after a moment's hesitation...

...I reached up...

...and pulled his underpants down.

I'd never seen one before, so I had nothing to compare it to...

...but, for the record, he had been circumcised; and his hair, which was the same color as the hair on his head, was neatly trimmed.

And his nine-inch long, granite-hard, marble-veined penis was a very dark maroon color...

...because it was so engorged with blood.

Once I had satisfied my curiosity, I realized that...

...even though I had absolutely no interest in his hot, throbbing genitals...

...aside from a clinical/academic one...

... I_ could not_ leave him like that...

...so I leaned_ far_ forward...

...until my lips were two inches from the head of his ramrod-stiff penis...

...and yelled, "Wall Street took a dive this afternoon! All your stocks have tanked! You're now out $187,000!"

And his erection wilted.

Immediately and completely.

(What do you want? It was a _dream_!)

He sighed in relief. "Thanks. I didn't want to carry _that_ around all day."

"No problem."

I pulled his underwear back up.

After I had, I added, guiltily, "And I'm really sorry that you're broke now."

He shrugged. "Money is a renewable resource. There's always more where that came from."

I looked down and began to ponder this.

"Carly?"

I looked back up to see him gazing at me...

...expectantly.

But what was I supposed to say?

"Come on, Carly? What's the answer?"

I knew I could be honest.

"Well, I didn't feel any kind of...arousal or anything...while I was touching you...or looking at you... so I think the answer is...that I'm gay."

"Sorry wrong answer."

"What? You mean...I'm _not_ gay?"

"No...you_ are_," he answered quickly. "But that's not the right answer _here_."

"Well, what's the question then, because now I have no idea what you're-"

"Don't worry; you'll get there," he replied, reaching down toward his ankles.

"No. Let me."

I had started it...

...so I'd finish it.

I pulled his pants up, carefully tucking his shirt in; and then I got him zipped, buttoned, and buckled up; finishing by pulling the bottom of his sweater down neatly over the top of his pants.

"Thanks." He walked back to his end of the bench and sat back down, turning to face me.

And we looked at each other...

...without speaking...

...for God-knows how long.

Because I couldn't figure out what to ask next.

Finally, it came to me.

"Can you help me? It would really help me if you would...you know...show me how it's done."

"Sure."

He leaned forward obligingly.

After spending more than a minute looking carefully at my shoes, even gently lifting my feet and examining the soles...

...he leaned back against the bench, stretched his legs out in front of him, and closed his eyes.

After another minute or two, he spoke.

"If you ever get a chance to head down the coast, be sure to check out Cape May, at the southern-most tip of New Jersey."

"Huh? What the hell does that have to do with my sho-"

He held up his hand. "It's a lovely Victorian seaside town, with a lot of gorgeous, original, late nineteenth-century architecture...both commercial and residential. There's one very picturesque Bed and Breakfast called _Castle by the Sea, _and it's supposed to be haunted; but during all the times I've stayed there, I've never met any ghosts. I get away down there as often as I can...and so should you."

He opened his eyes, and looked at the sky, just above the tops of the trees which lined the opposite side of the path.

"It'll really help you with your writing."

I was slightly disappointed at this pronouncement.

Maybe he didn't know everything after all.

"You must be mistaken," I replied. "I haven't written anything."

Not looking over at me, he said, "Don't worry about that...you most definitely _will_."

I shook my head. "I don't think-"

His eyes were closed again. "You haven't written anything _yet, _because you're still finding your voice; but I promise that you're going to. And sooner than you think.

"Anyway, Cape May has some really great restaurants. My favorite is called _The Moon Under Water;_ and their house specialty is grilled chicken, stuffed with smoked Gouda and Portobello mush-"

He sat up...

...and turned to face me.

"You don't normally wear tassel loafers, do you?"

"No."

"I didn't think so. As I mentioned earlier, you mostly wear sneakers and boots. Overall, you usually dress kind of high school/collegiate, with jeans and sweaters. But lately, you've been thinking about the fact that you're growing up, and about your place in the world...and, as a result, you decided that you were going to use this trip to New York to experiment. So, one of the first things you did when you arrived here was to go clothes shopping...and, instead of your usual choices, you bought a lot of _classic_ pieces. In fact almost everything you're wearing right now is new. Almost."

Okay, maybe he _does_ know everything, after all.

"Yes, you're right."

He didn't seem the least bit surprised as he asked, "About all of it?"

I nodded. "Yes..._almost _everything."

He was looking at me.

Expectantly.

And I knew why.

So, without hesitation, I stood up...

...took off my new overcoat...

...and, after laying it over the back of the bench...

...I walked over to where he sat...

...stopping right in front of him.

I didn't bother looking around...

…because, somehow, I knew for a fact that the park was still deserted.

He looked up at me...

...questioningly.

I nodded.

And he opened my belt...

...my button...

...my zipper...

...and then, with both hands...

...he slid my pants down to my knees.

I lifted my shirttail...

...and immediately felt the warmth of his palms through the white silk which covered my backside...

...as he gently pulled me closer.

And looked.

After more than a minute spent standing and waiting, disgruntled, while he sat...

...examining me in total silence...

...the suspense was killing me

"Well? What do my panties say about me?"

He looked up. "You tell me."

Which was incredibly frustrating.

"That's not fair! I thought you said that you-"

"Yes...and I can," he assured me. "But _you're_ the one who needs to practice."

He was right.

So I looked down at my panties...

...but I didn't have any answers.

None at all.

I looked at him again...

...pleadingly.

He shook his head. "Sorry, no. You're going to have to do this on your own."

I tried again...

...staring at them for what seemed forever...

...but still...

...nothing.

"Well, Carly?"

"I can't! I'm trying as hard as I can...but I _can't_!"

"All right, I'll help you again. Stop thinking about them for a minute."

I did.

But blushed furiously at what I immediately thought of instead.

"Carly?"

I looked up at him.

"It doesn't make you a bad girl...only an inquisitive one. Go ahead. See for yourself."

And, without even having to think it over...

...I knew that he was right.

So, acting on my instincts alone...

...I let him do what no other guy has ever done to me.

Reaching down...

...I took hold of his hand...

...turned it palm up...

...opened my legs...

...and pressed his hand up between them.

Against the outside of my panties.

"Are you ready?" he asked quietly.

Not looking at him, I nodded.

And, seconds later, two of his fingers began gently probing...

...searching very carefully...

...until I could tell from the expression on his face...

...that he knew he had found the right spot.

He pressed his fingertips deliberately between my outer lips...

...and I felt the crotch of my panties being pushed up inside me...

...at the top of my vagina...

...directly up against my clitoris...

...with his fingers directly on the other side of them.

He knew exactly where to find my special spot.

I leaned over...

...grabbed onto his shoulders...

...and forced myself to look directly into his eyes.

"G-go ahead."

And, with a nod, he began gently rubbing my clitoris...

...with a skillful precision that could only have come from years of practice...

...and from a caring sensitivity...

...and from a thorough understanding of a woman's physical needs.

"Help me," he insisted...

...and I began to push my hips forward against his hand.

Over and over.

Closing my eyes...

...I focused on my breathing...

...determined to keep it as even as his had been...

...but failing utterly...

...because I was soon out of breath from pushing as hard as I could...

...trying to feel...

...something.

I felt his fingers...

...but nothing else...

...and that scared me...

...so I began thrusting harder...

...desperately trying to feel something...anything...arousal, shame, embarrassment, guilt, disgust...

...but all I could feel was frustration.

Because I didn't know the answer.

Because I didn't know _any_ of the answers.

After five solid minutes of fighting against, then realizing - devastated - that I had no choice but to accept this revelation as fact...

...I began to sob.

"Carly...we need to stop. Right now."

He was right.

Incredibly upset, I immediately stopped moving my hips.

He removed his hand from between my legs...

...and I lifted my shirttail...

...and he slowly pulled my panties down...

...and we both looked down into the crotch.

Without lifting his eyes he asked, "Carly, what do your underpants say about you?"

"W-well, they're completely dry...and I still don't feel any kind of arousal...so I'm _pretty sure_ it means that I'm gay."

"I'm sorry. That answer isn't the right one."

"But you just told me before that I _am_ gay!"

He nodded. "Yes. You are."

"What, then? Are you telling me that I don't want to be gay...and so now I'm trying to like guys?"

"No, I'm sorry. That's not correct. And it's also not the answer to this question."

I lost it.

"Tell me! Tell me the answer!"

"I can't. You're going to have to find it out for your-"

But, before he could finish refusing me _yet again_...

...I grabbed his hand...

...and shoved his fingers back against me...

...between my legs...

...between my lips...

...pressing them into the upper left side of my clitoris.

Bare skin against bare skin.

I grabbed the back of his hand with both of my own...

...holding his fingers tightly against me...

...and started thrusting against them as hard as I could...

...over and over...

...but still...

...no feeling.

No answers.

No.

Nothing.

I started to cry.

Hard.

"You're going to tell me!" I insisted, tearfully; frantically grinding my vagina against his hand.

"I'm sorry. I'm not."

"Yes! You Are!"

He shook his head.

In wildly-unbalanced desperation...

...I yanked his hand from between my legs...

...separated his index and middle fingers from the rest...

...pushed my pelvis forward...

...and his fingers downward...

...and then upward...

...and the instant they had penetrated my outer lips...

...I leaned over him...

...determined to shove both of them up into my vagina...

...to have them entirely inside me...

...as far up as they would go...

...well aware of how excruciatingly painful it was going to be...

...and how badly it was going to hurt afterward...

...for a long time afterward...

...knowing that I wasn't even going to enjoy it at all...

...but not caring...

...because I desperately needed help.

But before I could make him enter me...

...he jerked his hand down and away. "No. I'm sorry. We're never going to-"

I wanted to strangle him.

"Help me! _Why the fuck won't you help me!"_

"Help you _what_? Do you want to have an org-"

"No! You know that I don't! I want the answer...and you're going to give it to me!"

"I'm sorry. No," he replied.

I leaned over and began frantically tearing open the front of his pants with one hand, while grinding the palm of my other one against his crotch...desperately trying to make him hard again.

He began calmly "This isn't going to-"

"Yes it is!" I sobbed insistently. "It_ is_ going to happen! Right now! _Even if I have to force myself down on your_-"

Just as I managed to get my fingers into the fly of his underwear, he grabbed my wrist...

...and removed my hands from between his legs.

"No! Let go of me! Let me fin-"

He pulled me closer to him, until I was staring directly into his eyes. "Carly. Why do you think I'm not willing to help y-"

I started to cry. "I don't know! You're some kind of control freak! You get off on making people craz-"

"Carly. Stop. Now."

"N-no...I-"

"Now, Carly."

"B-but...I-"

"Right Now."

I stopped.

He let go of my wrists and then, looking down, he zipped his pants back up.

Looking back up at me, he said, "Tell me about the worst TV show you ever watched."

"Huh? What the hell does that have to do with my pan-"

"Carly. TV show."

"Okay! Okay! It was called _A Tail of Two Kitties,_ and it was about a couple of cats living in Paris during The French Revolution. They had these lame, unconvincing French accents, and they ate RAT-atouille, while they planned to overthrow the government; to protest the sales tax that had recently been added to kitty litter. They were furious at being disenfranchised, and, since they hadn't been allowed to vote on the tax issue, they decided to take matters into their own paws...and then they attempted to destroy the cat-stitutional monarchy. Not only was the whole show historically inaccurate, it was also incredibly..."

I froze.

And looked down at him.

"My panties are silk...which means that I have a sensual side; but they're also white...they're always white...so they say that I'm a good girl who doesn't sleep around. And they're not g-strings or thongs, because I consider those to be too revealing, plus, I like to be comfortable. And they have a kind of quiet, refined elegance about them...which means that I consider myself to be a lady."

He nodded approvingly. "There, that wasn't so hard was it?"

"Fuck you."

"As much as I appreciate the invitation...

I shot him a look.

"...I've already told you that we're not going to."

He gently but decisively pulled my panties back up.

I began to reach down toward my ankles...

...but his hands were already there. "No, please...let me."

Once my pants were up and closed, I walked over to my side of the bench.

"It's October. Put your overcoat back on."

Even though it wasn't a particularly cold day, I did as he instructed...

...and then fell back onto the bench...

...drained.

"Well, Carly?"

I looked over at him. "Well, _what_? What do you want me to say?"

"I'd like to hear a summary."

I rolled my eyes in exasperation. "Fine! Well, I didn't enjoy groping you...and uh, nothing personal, but I didn't enjoy you groping me...not at all...so that means I'm_ definitely_-"

"I'm sorry, Carly. This doesn't have anything to do with you being g-"

"YES IT DOES! IT HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH THAT!"

He didn't seem the least bit phased by my outburst. "Sorry. Try again. You're way off base."

"_HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT? YOUR HAND WAS BETWEEN MY LEGS! MY HAND WAS BETWEEN YOUR_-"

He raised his eyebrows, but answered calmly. "Carly. Stop. Now."

I stopped.

"Now look at me."

I looked.

"You're still not getting it. This has nothing to do with my hand between your legs...or your hand between mine. _And_ it has absolutely nothing at all to do with penises."

I started to speak but he held up his hand. "Listen to me...very carefully. You already know that you're gay. You've accepted it, and, even though you haven't officially come out yet, you're comfortable with who you are. You've embraced your sexuality."

I nodded slowly.

He continued, "For years, you've had to deal with a lot of inner conflict, and, as a result, you really suffered...because you didn't accept it for so long. And, now that you've come to terms with that problem and solved it, you finally feel deeply relieved."

"I g-guess."

"So, it follows logically that the whole 'gay' thing is old news. Correct me if I'm wrong."

"No. You're right," I admitted.

"Yes. I am. Now, what do you think all of this is really about?"

Still confused, and near tears again, I buried my head in my hands. "I don't know. Please help me."

He reached across the bench...

...and gently lifted my chin.

And I clearly saw the kindness in his eyes as he began, "It's about resolving _current_ problems. There's something in your life right now that you don't understand, even though you've really tried to. And you can't fix it, even though you've really tried to. And it's really upsetting you."

I nodded.

"Even though I already know what it is, I want you to tell me all about it," he continued.

It was the best news I'd heard all day.

"Okay, I will...and what a relief this is going to be! To get an objective opinion on this!"

I took a deep breath.

"Well, my problem is...um...actually, what's bothering me is...uh...uh...it's-"

And, suddenly...

...my entire body went cold...

...because...

...not only did I _not_ have the answer...

...now I also had lost the problem...

...and it was imperative that I remember it...

...because my future happiness depended upon it.

But I had forgotten.

Completely.

And that was terrifying.

So I did the only logical thing...

...I started to panic. "Oh, no...OH, NO! OH, GOD!"

"Carly...everything is going to be okay," he stated.

"You're wrong! It's not! None of it will ever be!"

He laid a hand on my arm.

I shook it off violently.

Because I couldn't deal with not knowing the answer.

Or the question.

And I most definitely could _not_ live with the gaping chasm that their absence left in my soul.

I had to get away...

...far, far away.

From all of it.

Right now.

So, there was only one solution...

...even though it might only be a temporary one.

I had to run.

As far and as fast as possible.

I shot up off the bench...

...but he was faster.

In a flash, he was in front of me.

Grabbing both of my upper arms...

...he pushed me back down onto the bench.

Leaning over me, he stated, "You know you can't run from-"

"Let go of me!"

I started to struggle, but he shifted his body weight...

...successfully gaining leverage...

...forcing me to remain where I was.

"I have to leave! Now! Let go!"

I couldn't believe what I heard next.

"Yes, Carly. Let go."

"What the hell are you talking about? _I'm_ the hostage here! Let go!"

"Yes, let go."

"Stop mocking me! Let go!"

"You're right. Let go."

"LET GO OF ME!" I screamed up into his face. "LET GO!"

He nodded. "Yes. Let go."

I frantically began whipping my head around...

...frantically scanning the park...

...praying that I'd see a cop...

...or _any _other person...

...preferably one with a black belt in karate...

...or at least a cell phone...

...who could make this psycho let go of me.

But, deep down, I knew with absolute certainty that I wouldn't see one.

Anywhere.

Ever.

I looked back up at him.

"Let go, Carly."

"Shut Up, You Obnoxious Prick! Shut The Fuck Up!"

"Carly, let go."

Since there was no one around who could rescue me...

...and I was now waaaay past furious...

...I decided to slap him.

But, despite my repeated and dedicated efforts, I couldn't get my hands anywhere near his face, due to his solid, unyielding grip on my upper arms.

Back to cursing.

"Leave me the fuck alone! Get off me you son of a b-"

"Sorry. I can't. Not ever," he replied.

Which was the last thing I wanted to hear.

"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!"

"No. You don't," he replied calmly.

I tried again to make him let go of me...

...thrashing wildly...

...but he tightened his grip...

...and so, without really thinking things through...

...I did the very next thing that occurred to me.

I slammed my head forward...

...against his chest.

As hard as I could.

Bad idea.

Because the only results it produced were...

...I saw stars...

...and it hurt like hell.

"LET GO!" I demanded, now struggling like a lunatic...

...trying to get close enough to viciously bite any parts of his anatomy that I could reach...

...but soon I stopped...

...shocked...

...as he began to shake me.

Hard.

"Let go, Carly!"

"I c-can't! You're t-the one w-who needs to let g-go of m-me!"

"Carly, let go."

"B-but..."

"I'm not going to stop saying it until you get it. How many more times am I going to have to tell you to let g-"

Finally, completely finished and defenseless, I started to cry. "I w-will! I'll let g-go! I p-promise! Even though I h-have absolutely n-no idea w-what y-you-"

He stopped shaking me...

...and leaned forward, his face inches from mine.

"Finally! Are you going to try to run away from me now?"

I was so whipped, in every sense of the word, that I knew I couldn't have run now if I'd tried to...

...so I shook my head.

He gently pulled me up toward him...

...wrapping his arms around my back...

...and I embraced him in return...

...resting my still-aching head against his chest.

"Breathe," he directed.

I did.

And, within a few minutes, I felt my heart rate slowing back down to normal.

He carefully settled me back against the bench and sat down next to me, so close that our shoulders were almost touching.

"I love October, don't you?" He asked congenially.

Stunned at the conversation's abrupt change of direction, I looked down at my feet and nodded.

"That's no good, Carly. Lift your face to the light."

Too spent to argue, I did as he advised...

...tilting my head far backward...

...allowing the warmth of the late afternoon sun's nearly-horizontal rays to envelop my entire body.

Almost immediately, I began to feel more relaxed.

I turned my head in his direction. "What should I be thinking about right now?" I asked...

...very, very politely. " At least tell me that. Please."

He reached over and took my hand in his. "I want you to focus on the sound of a violin."

I strained my ears. "But, no one's playing a vio-"

He shook his head. "That's not important. If someone _was_, what would he look like?"

Before I could consider this question, I suddenly heard the sound of loud chattering...

...and my attention was diverted to a pair of squirrels about six feet up the path...

...and I found myself smiling, for nearly five minutes, as I sat watching the two of them fight over a half-eaten Kit-Kat bar.

I didn't know that squirrels are fond of candy. I wonder if they like other kinds of junk food, too...hmm...I once read somewhere that the reason squirrels have such bushy tails is so they can wrap them around themselves during cold weather, using them as blankets. Squirrels are so cute...and I just love the way that they...

...and then, without even having to think about it, I knew.

I turned back to face him.

"He'd be tall, dark haired, and kind of thin; with sharp, piercing eyes. And he'd be sitting in front of his living room fireplace, playing late into the night."

He nodded approvingly. "See, Carly? You do know how to find the answers."

He returned my hand to my lap, and let go of it...

...and then, I watched in silence as he leaned back, tilted his head upward, and closed his eyes.

"It's been a beautiful afternoon, hasn't it?" he asked, contentedly.

He was absolutely right, and so...

...wanting to savor its final remaining hour, I turned my face back to the sun and closed my eyes.

"Carly?"

I looked over once again...

...but his face was still turned upward.

"Don't worry, he said, with a self-assured smile. "You're going to get there. Stop trying so hard."

And somehow, I knew that he was telling me the truth.

And so, finally at peace, I closed my eyes again and leaned back against the bench...

...breathing slowly and evenly...

...feeling my body relax, more and more, each time I exhaled...

...until every last bit of stress had drained from me.

Complete, profound relief.

Blissfully content, I realized that I couldn't move...

...but I didn't even want to try...

...because the late-afternoon autumn sun was washing over me in wide, sultry waves...

...and I finally felt so secure, so confident, and so warm.

Except for my left foot...

...which, for some reason, was beginning to feel oddly cold..

Too lazy to open my eyes, I decided that it must be in shadow.

I moved it closer to my right one...

...but it wasn't feeling any warmer...

...so I began waving it around, wildly; trying to get it back into the sun...

...but it was rapidly growing even colder...

...so I opened my eyes...

...and realized that it was cold...

...because it had kicked its way free of the sheets and comforter...

...and was now hanging, exposed, over the edge of the bed.

I pulled it back under the covers and rubbed it with my right foot...

...trying to warm it up as quickly as I could...

...while I felt the rest of my body rapidly growing numb...

...as I reflected on the bizarre dream I'd just had.

Oh, my God.

I hope I never land on a psychiatrist's couch...

...because they'd be strapping me into a straightjacket less than five minutes into that story!

But, even though I remembered the entire dream with vivid accuracy...

...what did it mean?

I lay in silent confusion...

...trying to figure out its message...

...but, after wracking my brain for ten solid minutes...

...I decided to give up...

...for now.

Maybe the answer will come to me later...

...when I can put some distance between myself and...but then again, if I wait too long to re-examine my dream, I might forget parts of it.

Important parts.

So, to be on the safe side, I decided to review every aspect of the entire dream...

...right now...

...to make sure I'd remember every single detail.

Let's see: Manhattan, autumn, walking, Central Park, handsome guy, jingling gray flannels, gorgeous sweater...I absolutely_ love _that blue sweater...

...hmm...I could see myself wearing something like that.

In fact, I think I saw a similar one, not too long ago, at Windsor & Gordon, the huge department store over on Union Street.

I really want that sweater.

It's gorgeous.

Even though, (with the exception of a few T-shirts) I rarely wear men's clothes...

...I made up my mind, right then, that I was going to buy one anyway.

Soon.

But then again, Windsor & Gordon is an upscale store, and their stuff is usually pretty expensive...but then again, you can catch some pretty good sales there, if you're patient...but, then again, if I wait too long, all the blue ones in my size might already be gon-

My eyes snapped open.

Oh, my God.

Oh.

My.

God.

I know _exactly_ what's bothering Sam.

All of it.

Immediately, the entire scenario began flashing before my eyes, rapidly and accurately...just as if I was watching it onscreen.

But then...

...before my mind even had an opportunity to process this information...

...I also had the answer...

...to why it had taken me so long to come up with the answer.

First of all, according to Sherlock Holmes, the smallest details are the most important...

...and even though I'd noticed them...

...I hadn't really paid attention to them.

And secondly...

...I was reminded of the report I did last year, in my Psychology class.

My chosen subject had been _Tapping into the Power of the Subconscious_.

To sum up this fascinating subject:

The most effective way to solve problems isn't through conscious thought...

...but by letting your subconscious solve them for you.

And, if you stop thinking about a problem consciously...

...it usually will.

For example: When you're trying to remember something, such as the name of a person who you used to know, and you try and try to remember, but you can't...you finally give up, and turn your attention elsewhere...onto something totally unrelated.

And later, maybe an hour after you stopped thinking about the problem, the answer pops into your head...seemingly out of nowhere.

Because, when you let go of it, your subconscious was able to solve it for you.

And that's where I had made my major mistake.

From the moment I'd realized that this problem existed...

...I hadn't let go of it.

Not even for a minute.

Not until this dream...

...which had nothing to do with Sam.

I know that some Freudian scholars are shaking their heads right now and saying that every single aspect of that dream had _everything_ to do with Sam; but my point is that I didn't think of her, not even once... not even when I tried to..._or_ for fifteen minutes after I woke up.

I had dropped the problem...

...and my subconscious had picked it up...

...solved it...

...and delivered the answer to me.

Even Sherlock Holmes did that...

...absently playing his violin, to divert his mind from difficult problems.

And that distraction helped him solve his cases.

And I knew now...thanks to all the unnecessary, unsatisfying, and unfinished 'crotch groping' in my dream...that pushing sex on an unwilling Sam _never_ would have gotten me the answer to what was bothering her...

...because you can't use the problem to solve the problem.

I had committed a grave error in tactics.

Instead of trying to make her do it...

...I should be trying to make her _want to_ do it.

There's a _huge_ difference.

And, now that I knew exactly what the problem was...

...I knew exactly what I had to do next...

...which was almost exactly what I had planned early this morning.

But with one major difference.

Now, I would no longer be flying blind...

...and could proceed with confidence, knowing that my efforts were about to produce positive, permanent results.

And so, with calm self-assurance, I looked across the bed...

...and, by the dim glow of my table lamp...

...and from the obviously-troubled expression on her sleeping face...

...I saw that the seed I'd planted a few hours ago had most definitely taken root.

And I knew that it was, without a doubt, time to finally solve Sam's problem.

Forever.

So, slowly and silently...

...I eased my way across the bed...

...over to where she lay.

A/N: The entire 'dream sequence' was never pre-planned; it was a gift from my subconscious; handed to me - almost in its entirety - two minutes after I woke up one morning...so I decided to include it.

P.S.: The more you review...

...the more I write.


	12. Chapter 12

I settled onto my left side, head propped up on my hand...

...watching her in silence...

...prepared to wait as long as necessary.

Until precisely the right moment.

I didn't have to wait for long.

In a matter of minutes, her hands began to clench and unclench...

...and her breathing became rapid and shallow...

...as her head began moving restlessly against the pillow...

...and she began to gasp...

...as her entire body began to tremble.

"...na...hres...nee-yife! Brazkelmf! Dnn kyl may! Noplz bg yoono!"

And then, before I could figure out what she'd said...

...I realized...

...to my complete astonishment...

...that, even though she was still asleep...

...she was actually starting to cry.

I couldn't watch or wait any longer.

It would be cruel.

Leaning over her, I laid a hand on her arm. "Sam?-Ow!"

And I immediately recoiled...

...rubbing my aching cheek, which she, unknowingly, had just smacked.

Hard.

I slid backward a couple of feet...

...and then, while maintaining a safe-ish distance...

...I reached back over and shook her shoulder. "Sam? SAM?"

She awoke with a full-body jolt...

which shook the whole bed. "I...no-Oh, God!...OH GOD!" She yelled, as her eyes snapped open...

...and she jerked up into a seated positioned...

...breathing in jagged gasps...

...staring frantically around the room, wild-eyed...

...but not really seeing anything.

"Hey," I said softly.

Flinging her hands up in front of her face, palms outward...

...in a defensive/protective position...

...she whipped her upper body around in my direction...

..as she realized, for the first time, that someone was there.

She saw that it was me...

...and, shuddering in recognition, she lowered her hands...

...but, paralyzed by the still-vivid memory of the night-terror that she'd just suffered through...

...she stared, for nearly a minute, before managing to gasp, "C-c-carls-"

I looked back into her haunted, tortured eyes, and, without moving, I whispered, "Shh. You just had a bad dream."

Breathless and severely shaken, she suddenly regained control of her body...

...and rapidly moved across the bed...

...toward me...

...obviously expecting a hug...

...and, on any other night, I would have immediately pulled her into my arms and held her so close to me...

...for such a long time...

...but tonight, I was fully committed to helping her overcome her issues...

...which meant that I _couldn't_ deviate from my prior plans...

...not at all...

...and so, even though it hurt me badly...

...I deliberately denied her one.

Instead, I patted her hand.

Once. "You had a bad dream."

"Oh, God, Carls it was awful! I was-" she began, grabbing my hand...

...but I withdrew it from hers, and gently pressed my fingers to her lips. "No. Don't tell me about it. I know how much it upsets you to confide in me."

I watched her expression immediately change from one of extreme shock to one of extreme confusion. "But-"

I shook my head. "No, Sam. You're already upset enough...so don't say anything. You don't need any extra stress."

I watched her expression immediately change from one of extreme confusion to one of extreme desperation. "B-but-"

"Shh. Whatever it was, it was only a dream...and you're okay now."

"But...just let me tel-" she persisted.

"No, Sam," I insisted. "I promised I wouldn't push you to open up to me anymore. I'm sorry for all the times in the past that I _did_...and I give you my word that I'll never be that selfish again...so stop trying to make yourself do something that we both know you definitely _don't_ want to do."

The instant I had uttered these words...

...her entire body began to tremble.

She realized that something was very, very wrong.

"But...but I-" she began...

...but I shook my head.

"Shh...just try to go back to sleep," I urged...

...but she continued to stare at me, with the most heartbroken...and heartbreaking...expression that I've ever seen in my entire life...

...begging me, without words, to wrap my arms around her.

But I didn't...

...because I couldn't.

Not because I was trying to be cruel...

...or selfishly-manipulative...

...but because I knew, in the long run, that refusing to touch her right now was the most loving thing I could do...

...so, instead, I carefully moved her back over to her side of the bed, put one hand on her shoulder, and gently eased her down onto her pillow.

"It was only a dream. It's okay to go back to sleep now," I insisted.

"But I-," she began...

...but I shook my head...

...with finality.

"G-good night, C-carls," she murmured, looking up at me with still-pleading, sorrowful eyes.

"Good night, Sam," I answered kindly...

...before returning to my own side of the bed; turning onto my right side - with my back to her - and settling into my pillow.

What followed was a very long stretch of silence...

..as I lay...patiently and nervously...yet expectantly and confidently. Wait for it, Carly...wait for it...wait for it...wait for-yes!

She was moving...

...in my direction.

From the way the mattress was shifting under my body, I realized, with certainty, that she was sliding across to where I lay...

...and, in less than a minute, she was tentatively wrapping her shaking left arm around my waist...

...as she curled her body around the back of mine.

Just as I had predicted she would.

Short pause...while I pat myself on the back.

Okay. Back to business.

Time to implement Phase Three.

I focused on keeping my breathing even, while I waited for what I knew was inevitable...

...and sure enough, she soon asked, voice shaking slightly, "C-carls...are you asleep?"

"Almost," I murmured.

Her arm tightened around me. "I-"

I waited, motionless, for her to finish...

...but she didn't.

I turned my head slightly. "Yes, Sam?"

"I...uh...I-"

I waited again.

Silence.

Curious to hear which of my anticipated-and-planned-for statements she was going to make, I rolled over onto my back...

...which she obviously interpreted as an open invitation...

...since she immediately climbed on top of my body...

...and buried her face in my chest.

Pretending not to notice, I just lay under her, not moving, and said, "Goodnight, Sam."

I closed my eyes again...

...and then, I heard an unmistakable sniff...

...and felt her body begin to shake.

But she still hadn't spoken.

Time to give her a little encouragement, I decided...

...so I put my arms around her...

...limply...

...resting my hands on her back...

...with my right one strategically placed directly over her heart.

And, again, I waited.

And, sure enough, in less than two minutes...

...it was hammering.

"C-carls?"

"Hmm?" I mumbled distractedly.

"Carls?"

I opened my eyes and saw hers staring, pleadingly, down into them.

"Yes, Sam?" I replied, looking up at her with studied 'confusion'.

She hesitated, then said, with obvious trepidation, "I...think we...forgot something."

I knew perfectly well what she was referring to. "Forgot...something?"

She was now looking at me so searchingly...

...and so imploringly...

...that I decided to be generous...

...and so, I pretended to 'see the light'.

I raised my eyebrows in 'revelation'. "Oh, Sam...how thoughtless of me!"

Her face had barely begun to register an expression of reassured relief, before I tilted my head forward and upward...

...and gave her a fast peck on the lips...

...before immediately settling back into my pillow and closing my eyes once more. "Good night, Sam...go back to sleep."

Several minutes passed...

...but she didn't move.

"Carls?"

"Hmm?"

Long pause. "Do you...do you still...lov-"

I opened my eyes...

...looking at her questioningly...

...and, as she hesitated...

...I clearly saw, in the expression on her face, the massive internal struggle that was now taking place behind her eyes.

Finally, she decided against asking, and shook her head in regret...

...so I shrugged, amiably, and closed my eyes again.

Wait for it, Carly...wait for it...wait for it...wait f-yes!

She began inching her way up my chest...

...and, seconds later...

...she pressed her lips to mine.

But only for an instant.

And I opened my eyes...

...to her grieving ones.

Not wanting to kill her hopes completely, I gave her a peck in return. "It's late, Sam...you need your sleep."

She nodded...

...without moving...

...hoping for some offer of _any kind of_ assistance from me.

But I just looked back at her.

Waiting patiently.

Finally, she swallowed.

Hard.

And then, she leaned forward...

...and touched her lips to mine again...

...for an instant...

...before pulling back.

Then, I watched in silence as she struggled to look into my eyes..

...but, ultimately, wasn't able to bring herself to...

...so, instead, she lowered her gaze to my chest, as she leaned closer...

...until her face was inches from mine.

"I l-l-love you, Carls," she said, in an unsteady voice, barely above a whisper.

I volunteered a ghost of a smile. "I know you do. Don't wor-"

She didn't look at all encouraged by this pronouncement, but, nevertheless...

...she slowly lowered her lips to mine again...

...but I turned my head away. "Sam, whatever is bothering you, I'm sure that, after a good night's sleep, you'll feel better in the mor-"

Her lips cut me off.

Without returning what would obviously have been a very long and beseeching kiss, I gently took hold of her shoulders...

...and pushed her up off my chest. "Just try to go back to sleep, and I know that in the morning you'll feel-"

Her lower lip began trembling...

...violently...

...which didn't surprise me in the least...

...but I cocked my head to one side on the pillow, in faux confusion. "I'm not sure what's upsetting you...but would a hug hel-"

Before I could continue, she flung her arms around me...

...holding on as tightly as she could...

...and, as I pulled her close...

...she lay, rigidly, across my chest.

Seconds later, I felt her press her lips against my neck...

...once...

...and then, after seeing that I wasn't going to push her away...

...I felt them again...

...and again and again...

...as I felt both of her hands caressing my lower back...

...but, in less than a minute...

...her left one was sliding around to the front of my body...

...before settling over my right breast...

...waiting...

...hopefully.

I didn't reject her...

...but I didn't encourage her either.

Unsure if she should proceed, she stopped kissing me...

...and we both lay, motionless...

...in ominous silence...

...until, finally...

...she cracked.

And raised her gaze...

...her eyes searching mine so carefully for _any _hint of a green light.

I just looked back at her in polite silence...

...my eyes betraying nothing...

...until she couldn't take it any longer...

...and, closing her eyes tightly, she slowly lowered her lips to mine again.

As she kissed me.

More than once.

I began to kind of participate...

...in a G-rated sort of way...

...with my mouth strictly closed...

...even though she obviously was angling for more.

Much, much more.

Nevertheless, even though our kisses were so completely restrained...

...my body still began to respond...

...which was fine...

...because it gave her hope.

After a couple minutes of mostly one-sided, closed-mouthed kissing...

...my right nipple (predictably) began to swell under her trembling left palm...

...and, in response, she gently, tentatively, nervously began to stroke my breast...

...and then, finally...

...I said it.

"Sam?"

She lifted her face to mine...looking so hopeful. "Yes?"

"_No."_

Her face fell. "But-"

"I'm sorry-"

"But...Carls-" she began in an odd, restricted voice.

"No, Sam. I can't. Not now...not after what's hap-"

She was now staring at me in wild desperation. "Y-yes you can! I-I-...just let me-"

I shook my head. "No. Now that things are...different...it wouldn't be fair for me to have them anymore..._especially not in front of you_...since you obviously don't want to have them either."

I don't know which was shaking harder - her body _or_ her voice - as she tried, once again, to persuade me. "Carls..._please_...I w-want you to-" She stopped speaking abruptly...

...and flung her upper body over the side of the bed.

Seconds later, when she straightened back up...

...she was holding Buzz.

I shook my head.

"C-come on, Carls...just let me help y-"

I looked at her with my most serious expression; and declared, quietly, yet firmly, "Sam...I want you to put Buzz away now."

She hesitated before asking the next question; obviously both anticipating _and_ dreading the answer. "F-for how long?"

I answered her with my eyes alone.

"Carls,_ No!_"

I shook my head. "No more...I refuse to be selfish."

With a gasp of shock and disbelief, she flung Buzz aside and grabbed my upper arms...

...trying to pull me to her.

I resisted.

She persisted. "B-be with me, please!"

I untangled myself from her grasp. "I can't, Sam."

She dropped her hands to my knees, staring at me...

...imploring. "Can...can we try-"

I stared back at her...

...determined. "No. We can't."

J-just one m-more time?"

I shook my head...

...decidedly. "We_ have_ tried...over and over."

She was near tears. "Carls...please d-don't be this way! _Please!_"

"Shh," I replied, starting to turn away...

...but her hands flew up to my shoulders, restraining me; as she attempted to continue her desperate, one-sided negotiation. "No! I...don't...please just-"

"Sam," I said softly, but with determination, "There are certain things that I can't do anymore...just like there are certain things that you can't do...so I'm sure you understand...just like I understand with you."

She released my shoulders, grasped both of my hands, and pulled them to her chest. "L-let's talk about this, C-car-"

I shook my head. "No, Sam. I gave you my word that I wouldn't try to make you open up to me anymore...and I'm not going back on it."

And then...

...at that moment...

...there was absolutely no mistaking what I saw in her eyes...

...she clearly was terrified that this was the Beginning of the End.

But, before she could continue the argument, I gently took hold of her shoulders; and, after maneuvering her over to her side of the bed, I moved back over to mine and lay down again...

...and then, as I watched her from where I lay...

...she turned her back to me...

...and pulled the covers over her head.

From the outline of her body under them...

...I could see that she had curled up into the fetal position...

...and from the way that the mattress was now trembling under me...

...I could tell that, if she wasn't already crying...

...that she was about to...

...any minute.

Looking across the bed, watching the convulsive way in which the covers (and, therefore, her body) were moving...

...I lay in silence...

...simultaneously hating_ and_ congratulating myself...

...because of the response that I was successfully cultivating in her...

...but realizing, overall, that I'd already exhausted _Every Other Option_...

...which meant that this was the _only_ way to help her.

Still, I felt like a Total Jerk.

I settled into my pillow, getting as comfortable as was possible, under the circumstances...

...and I waited.

Patiently and preparedly...

...realizing that the next move was entirely up to her...

...and knowing with certainty that, whatever it turned out to be...

...that I was ready.

Like playing chess, when you find yourself in this situation, you have to think at least three moves ahead.

After about twenty minutes, when she did move...

...she surprised me.

Pushing off the covers...

...she swung her legs over the edge of her side of the bed...

...and sat with her back to me...

...wiping her eyes on her bare forearm...

...and then she rested her elbows on her knees...

...and her head in her hands.

I glanced at the clock.

Exactly twelve minutes later...

...she finally got up...

...crossed the room...

...and sat down at my desk.

She moved her backpack, which was sitting in the center of it, off to one side...

...and then opened my upper-right desk drawer...

...and, before she even reached inside it...

...I knew what was about to happen.

I wasn't expecting it to happen this way...

...but still, I wasn't overly-concerned...

...because it still was consistent with my plans.

Pulling my box of monogrammed Crane stationery and my gold Cross pen from the desk drawer...

...she set them in down front of her on the desk top.

And then, after staring at them, motionless, for what seemed an eternity...

...she bent over them.

I watched and waited in silence.

It took much longer than I thought it would.

Nearly thirty minutes later...

...she stood up...

...crossed to where I was lying...

...and lay a folded sheet of stationery on the mattress next to my body...

...and then...

...without a word...

...she left the room.

She hadn't looked at me once.

I sat up, leaning back against the headboard...

...staring at the sheet of paper lying next to me.

Hesitating.

Because, even though I was well-prepared for any eventuality...

...it still was difficult to proceed...

...because I knew that we both had a very long, very difficult night ahead of us...

...but, I had committed to this, and so...

...finally, I took a deep breath, reached over, and picked it up.

There was nothing written on the back side of it.

Determined to finish what I had started...

...and with hands trembling slightly, I unfolded it...

...and looked down ...

...at the five words she had written.

Because of the way my bed is angled in relation to my desk...

...I hadn't been able to see her right arm as she sat there...

...because her back was blocking my view of it...

...but I had been so certain that she had written more.

Apparently, I was mistaken.

I read the five words again.

_Please...just one more chance._

I hadn't really expected this turn of events...

...for her to write...

...but, still, my strategy had, thus far, produced the result I was after.

Which meant that it was now time for Phase Four.

I set her note on my nightstand...

...got up off the bed...

...and walked (easily) to the door.

Taking a deep breath, I opened it silently.

She was right outside...

...sitting on the floor...

...with her head on her knees...

...looking exactly like the the painting by Jean-Hyppolite Flandrin: _Young Man by the Sea_...

...except for the fact that...

...that guy was naked.

I don't think she was aware of my presence...

...because, when I reached down and lay my palm on top of her head...

...she looked up with a shocked expression, obviously alarmed to see me walking around without assistance...

...and she immediately stood up...

...snatched me off my feet...

...and wordlessly returned me to the room.

After she had carefully laid me down on my bed, I looked up to see her standing next to it...head bowed...looking completely defeated.

Not wanting to prolong her suffering any longer than was absolutely necessary...

...I reached up and took her hand...

...and slid over toward her side of the bed...

...while pulling her down onto mine.

"C-carls-"

"Shh."

She put up no resistance as I pushed her down onto her back...

...lay my body on top of hers...

...and looked down into her anguished, now-submissive eyes.

There was no mistaking what I saw in them...

...although terrified, she most definitely was sincere about this.

But still, before I was willing to move forward...

...I needed more collateral.

A _lot_ more.

She looked back at me fearfully...

...waiting in silence...

...hurting and helpless...

...while I decided our future.

I lowered my face until it was inches from hers.

"Sam...if I _do..._then I want something in return...and you know what it is...don't you?"

She knew.

She nodded.

But even if she hadn't...

...her terrified expression of recognition would have told me all I needed to know.

But still, I wanted to be absolutely certain that there would be no further misunderstandings.

"_The Truth_, Sam. All of it. That's the only way I'm going to agree to this."

She opened her mouth, but before she could reply...

...I laid my fingers across it. "No...let me finish. Before you tell me whether or not you're willing, let me say that I remember promising that I wouldn't push you to spill your guts anymore...and so, I'm going to make this very, very easy for you. For the rest of the night, you're only going to have to say two words...'yes' and 'no'...no matter what I ask you. Do you think you can do that?"

"Carls-"

"No, Sam. Wrong response. Only two words...'yes' and 'no'. Do you think you can do that for me?"

"Yes."

"Are you _willing_ to do it?

Short pause.

"Y-yes."

"Are you absolutely sure, Sam?"

Long pause.

"Y-y-yes."

"Okay. Let's practice first. Is your name Sam?"

"Yes."

"Do you live in Philadelphia?"

"No."

I nodded my approval. "See how easy it's going to be?"

No response.

"Sam?"

She nodded.

"_Sam?"_

"Y-yes."

"Very good, Sam."

Ever since that totally bizarre - yet profoundly enlightening - dream, earlier in the evening, I knew that yes/no answers from her were going to be more than enough...

...because, now, I no longer needed information...

...only _confirmation_.

I leaned down and kissed her forehead.

Pulling back, I looked down at her reassuringly. "Are you going to contribute your fair share of effort?"

Pause.

"Y-yes," she agreed...

...her tremors in her voice echoing the fear and uncertainty in her eyes.

I smiled at her.

Lovingly.

"Then there's absolutely nothing to worry about," I assured her.

And then, I leaned down once again...

...and kissed her.

Properly.

And, less than a minute later, even though she was kissing me back nervously...

...she also was pulling me down on top of her.

I let her.

And then, as I kissed her again...

...I wrapped my right hand around her left one...

...and moved it down onto my chest...

...and she gasped against my lips as she felt my breast under her palm.

I opened my mouth.

She opened hers.

And what followed was a one-sided kissing frenzy.

(Guess which side?)

"Slow down, take it easy," I whispered...

...but she couldn't.

Between kisses, I managed to get out, "Sam...we have all night. So let's not rush-"

"I...I-" she began...

...and I immediately pulled back. "Sam, I only want to hear two words from you tonight...and _'I'_ isn't on that list. Do you understand me?"

She sighed (not sure if it was from resignation or relief). "Yes."

I resumed our kissing...

...exploring her mouth with my tongue...

...but not exploring her body with my hands.

Not yet.

Because, before I did, I wanted her to be fully aroused...

...and fully informed.

I wanted her to know that I knew.

Soon, she seemed to be losing some of her apprehension...

...because she was pulling off my nightshirt.

And, soon after that, she was reaching down to the floor...

...and, a moment later, straightened up with Buzz in her hand...

...looking at me questioningly...

...fearfully...

...hopefully.

I shook my head. "Not yet. You were right about holding back, so let's wait...just for a little while...it'll make my orgasm that much more intense."

She nodded.

I reached for her again...

...and lay back against the bed...

...and she settled onto her side next to me.

"Touch me," I whispered...

...and, seconds later, I began squirming under her fingers, as they slowly trailed down my stomach.

When they reached the waistband of my panties, she hesitated...

...unsure.

I leaned my head toward her and whispered, "Outside."

And they soon were inching their way downward once again.

I opened my legs...

...and, seconds later...

...I felt my pad pressed up against me so tightly...

...that it actually penetrated my outer lips...

...and my clitoris shivered in pleasure at the firm and sudden contact.

"G-go ahead," I whispered...

...and she began moving her palm against me...

...as I thrust my pelvis against it over and over. "Oh, God! Oh, yes! Oh, Sam!"

It soon became apparent that I had most definitely developed a somewhat un-nerving, overwhelming craving for sex...

...because, even though it had only been a day since my last orgasm...

...I absolutely couldn't wait to have another one.

Could. Not. Wait.

Even though she wasn't touching me directly...

...the pressure from her hand against me was causing ripples of sensation to penetrate every part of me...

...taking control of my entire body...

...nervous system _and _muscles _and_ mind...

...and I soon lost all ability to move.

I lay there, totally aroused...

...yet totally helpless...

...incredibly eager to orgasm...

...yet completely aware that...

...it was time for Phase Five.

With effort, I managed to turn my attention away from my crotch, and toward where it really belonged. "Sam?"

Her hand stopped moving...

...and I felt my motor skills slowly returning...

...as she leaned forward and looked down into my eyes questioningly.

I laced my fingers behind her neck, holding her face close to mine. "Sam...will you do something else to me? Something that I _know_ will make me really, really hot?"

She looked confused but answered, tentatively, "Yes."

I watched her face carefully as I said, "I want to...to feel your cum between my legs...so please touch yourself with your fingers...and then use them on me."

Her expression of confusion immediately morphed into one of uncertainty...

...but I leaned forward and kissed her passionately, and then pulled back and begged, "_Please?_ It will make me cum really, really hard!"

She hesitated...

...but then , to my relief, she actually nodded...

..and_ then_, as I watched, breathless...

...she spread her legs...

...slid her right hand inside her boxers...

...and, from the way their crotch was moving, down between her legs...

...it was clear that she definitely was fingering herself...

...but only for a few disappointingly-short seconds.

But, when she withdrew her hand...

...there was no mistaking what I saw by the glow of my table lamp.

Her fingers were dripping wet.

"Now, please!" I gasped...

...and, without hesitation, she slid her hand deep inside my panties.

As her slick fingers slipped effortlessly between my outer lips, my hips automatically jerked upward...

...eagerly. "Oh, yes...oh, God! Please, Sam..._Please!_"

After slowly, wetly, stroking up and down the entire length of my vulva several times...

...her index and middle fingers slid upward toward the top one last time...

...settled onto either side of my clitoris...

...pressed firmly into it...

...and began to move against it...

...in gentle, yet deliberate circles...

...and I lay, completely paralyzed once more, as rippling shock waves of sensation seized control of every inch of my anatomy.

I loved the feeling of her wetness mingling with mine...

...but that wasn't the only reason I'd asked her to do it.

I had other reasons.

Far less-selfish ones.

But it wasn't time to let her know that.

Not yet.

"Oh, God! Do it again! Please!" I half-begged, half-insisted.

She nodded...

...but, as her hand left my panties and began to move back toward her own crotch...

...I shook my head. "Sam...please use your _other_ hand this time."

"Wh-," she began...but then stopped herself; and looked at me...

...silently and apologetically.

I smiled. "Good girl...sticking to the list. Well, to answer your question, because you've already touched me with your right one, and so, now I don't want you to touch _yourself_ with it."

Not understanding, she once again began to move it toward herself...

...but I caught hold of her wrist. "No, Sam...what's coming out of me isn't even a normal period...so, for hygienic reasons, please use your left hand instead."

She thought it over for a moment. "Okay. I see your point."

I frowned at her. "What did I tell you about-"

She gasped. "Sorry-"

"There you go again!"

She opened her mouth again...

...but then caught herself...

...and immediately buried her face in my chest...

...and I smiled, despite myself. "Come on, I'm not mad at you! But just 'yes' or 'no', okay?"

She didn't answer.

I playfully messed up her hair.

"Yes," she finally replied.

And then, remembering that she had abandoned my physical needs rather abruptly...

...she opened her legs again...

...and, as I waited...

...in breathless anticipation...

...her left hand found her vagina...

...and then, seconds later...

...it found mine.

"Oh, God...yes!" I gasped, arching my back. "Sam...please be up inside me with your fingers...please!"

She froze.

I knew why...

..._and _I knew what to say. "You won't have to move them once they're in there...not at all...I promise I won't ask you to!" I assured her. "Please...I just want your cum all the way up inside me! _So badly_!"

She hovered over me...

...motionless...

...deliberating...

...and then...

...to my relief...

...she nodded...

...and I felt her hand moving farther down between my now-shaking thighs...

...her fingers sliding lower...

...and then, after a moment's hesitation, upward...

...gliding effortlessly and deeply inside.

The way my body reacts to the knowledge and feel of Sam's cum deep within my vagina is indescribable.

It made me hotter than I've ever been in my entire life.

The only thing that could possibly make me more aroused...

...would be pushing my own cum up into_ her_.

And, as soon as my system is back to normal...

...I'm going to.

_Guaranteed._

Back to the present.

"Oh, God, Sam! You don't know what a turn-on that is for me..._oh, my God!_"

She had begun moving her fingers...

...very very gently...

...but soon stopped...

...because the walls of my vagina had clamped tightly around them...

...holding them, stationary, deep within my body.

But I wanted more.

And so, even though it hurt...

...I began pushing my pelvis against them...

...gently at first...

...but, as I became accustomed to the dull ache they was causing within me...

...harder and harder...

...again and again...

...feeling the tips of them pressing forcefully, painfully, against my cervix.

Unfortunately, she felt it too (the forceful part).

"No," she stated flatly...

...and despite my protests...

...she deliberately withdrew her hand from my vagina...

...and then from my panties...

...but I grabbed her arm. "Please...do it again!"

She shook her head...

...but I wasn't going to take 'no' for an answer. "No...I don't mean like _that_...not_ up inside..._I just want you to...to get me wet again with your... with your..._jizz!_"

She took her time thinking it over...

...but eventually nodded...

...and began sliding her left hand back inside her underwear...

...but I hastily pulled it back out. "No, wait! Both of your hands have 'Carly' on them now. Here..."

Before she could fully comprehend what I had in mind...

...I leaned over...

...quickly slid my right hand inside her boxers...

...and then, just as quickly...

...slid my fingers inside her outer lips.

She froze, too stunned to move, but still able to utter, "No!"

I shook my head. "Shh. Sorry...this will just take a second."

Arranging my facial expression into one that reflected a 'strictly business' attitude...

...I swept my fingers from bottom to top of her vulva, and then back down again...

...twice...

...and as I did, she gasped...

...as her pelvis jerked forward violently...

...eagerly...

...but, instead of continuing to stimulate her...

...quite possibly with great eventual success...

...I instead moved my 'Sam-drenched' fingers down between my own legs..

...and, seconds later, I threw my head back.

"Oh, yes! Oh, God! Oh, Sam! You have no idea what you're doing to me!"

Not waiting to see or hear her response, I immediately grabbed her hand, shoved it back down inside my panties, positioned her fingers up near my clitoris...

...and began thrusting my pelvis forward against them...

...as hard as I could.

"Yes, Car-yes!" She moaned loudly.

I kissed her passionately and repeatedly. "Please! I want to do it again! With my other hand this time! Please let me..._Please!_" I begged, between kisses.

Apparently, the fact that my fingers hadn't lingered in her vagina the last time they'd visited it had assured her that I was only thinking of myself...

...because, after a mere second's hesitation, she nodded...

...and actually opened her legs for me!

I gently moved her onto her back, and lay with my body on top of her left shoulder...

...pinning her, but in a _very_ non-obvious way...

...as my left hand crept down into her boxers.

She held her breath.

Once again, I entered her outer lips...

...and, once again, she gasped...

...but this time, instead of a single sweep of her vagina...

...I began to slowly, gently, trace my fingers up and down the entire length of her vulva...

...repeatedly...

...and, suddenly, her body twisted in panic under mine. "No!"

With my hand still moving, I lowered my face to hers and smiled. "Shh. Don't worry, it's not what you think," I replied, in a low, reassuring voice. "Just a little bit more, and then I'll stop...you're almost wet enough."

She put her right hand against the front of my left shoulder and shook her head. "N-no," she repeated, but, to my relief, she didn't try to push me off her.

"It's going to be okay," I replied softly. "Just relax for me...because I'm not going to..._you know_...I promise."

She opened her mouth to reply...

...but, before she could, I leaned forward and whispered, "I promise," and then, still fingering her, I gently pressed my lips against hers.

She kissed me back...

...several times...

...and then, seconds later...

...she tilted her head back and closed her eyes.

"That's it...good girl...just a little more," I assured her...

...as I gently and continuously massaged her vagina.

Even though my kisses were keeping her simultaneously distracted and interested...

...I deliberately avoided lingering and fingering around her clitoris.

There will be time for that later.

But not yet...

...because, before the next phase...

...I want her completely aroused...

...but definitely not fulfilled.

Until she was ready, I wanted her to believe that I was focusing on my own needs.

Completely.

She was now staring up at the ceiling...

...but still, there was no mistaking the fear in her eyes.

As I continued to stroke her gently...

...feeling her becoming gradually and steadily wetter...

...I watched her very carefully...

...ready to stop _immediately_ at the slightest indication that she was about to push me away.

But, to my surprise, she didn't try.

Before long, she was so aroused that she was actually leaking onto my fingers, and so...

...I slid my fingers up and down the entire length of her vagina one last time...

...turning them against her as I did...

...making sure to get them as wet as I possibly could...

...for more than one reason...

...deliberately pressing my fingertips against both sides of her clitoris as they reached the top...

...listening in satisfaction as she gasped...

...and then, I removed my dripping fingers from between her legs...

...and moved them deep down between my own.

"Oh, Sam! Oh, God!" I gasped...

...and, as I did, I felt her body jerk up against mine in response, and I knew that there could be only one reason why it did...

...because she had just felt a violent spasm of arousal between her legs.

Resisting the urge to plunge my hand down between them again, I immediately rubbed her abundant wetness into every part of my vulva that my fingers could reach...

...and then, I grabbed her hand and shoved it down inside my panties again.

She immediately moved her fingers onto both sides of my clitoris...

...and I began bucking against them. "Oh, God...OH, G-"

Her lips silenced mine.

I yanked my head backward. "Do you f-feel how wet you've made me?"

"Yes," she answered, between jagged gasps.

I tilted my head forward and looked deeply into her eyes. "Do you know that you've just cum inside me?"

"Y-yes," she responded...

...looking somewhat scared at this realization.

"Do you have any idea what that does to me?" I demanded.

"N-no," she answered, fearfully.

"Let me show you!" I declared...

...and, without hesitation, she nodded and, as she kissed me...

...deeply and fervently...

...she pressed her fingers against me...

...stroking gently.

It wasn't enough.

"More, Sam! I really want to feel it! I really want to show you!"

In response, she pushed her fingers against me...

...rubbing firmly...

...but it still wasn't nearly enough.

"Harder Sam...I want to be sore!"

She hesitated...

...but only for a second, and then...

...she shoved her fingers against me...

...over and over...

...grinding them fervently...

...painfully...

...against my clitoris...

...leaving no doubt in my mind that what she was doing was going to hurt me for the rest of tonight...

...and most of tomorrow.

Which was exactly what I wanted.

She could see and feel the effect she was having on me...

...as I leaned back...

...gripping her shoulders tightly...

...shoving my pelvis rapidly and convulsively against her hand...

...trying to convey without words what a turn-on this was for me...

...and, from the way her own hips were spasming involuntarily...

...thrusting forward...

...every few seconds...

...it looked like she was ready.

But, still, before we could proceed...

...I knew that I had to make absolutely sure...

...so I rolled over onto my side and kissed her...

...gently pressing my hand between my own legs as I did.

She stopped moving her fingers.

I moved her over, onto her back, and began kissing her again, and then...

...while keeping her attention focused on my mouth...

...I slipped my hand between her knees...

...and gently slid it all the way up the inside of her thighs...

...lingering at the top with my fingers...

...wanting to confirm that vagina had produced enough additional wetness to completely saturate the crotch of her underwear.

It had.

She was ready.

I immediately removed my hand to avoid arousing suspicion, as I decided that it most definitely was...

...time for Phase Six.

I began shoving my pelvis forward against her fingers again...

...ignoring how sore the friction was now making me...

...determined to divert her attention, momentarily, from what was actually about to occur.

I know that it worked...

...because I soon heard her gasping against my ear...

...apparently as whipped up as I was.

Which was exactly what I wanted.

I wanted her ready to explode with release...

...and begging to.

"Oh, God Sam, Where's Buzz?" I demanded.

Her arm was a blur as it shot across the bed and grabbed him...

...but, the instant she had, I snatched him from her, turned him on, and then grabbed onto him tightly with both hands.

As her eyes stared down into mine...

...her hands began fumbling with my panties...

...trying to find the top of the waistband so she could pull them down...

...but before she was able to...

...she froze...

...suddenly and completely...

...because, as I moved Buzz down between my legs, I angled him so the tip 'accidentally' pressed up between her legs for a moment.

She gasped.

"Oops! Sorry," I 'apologized'.

After a moment, she regained her composure, and reached down toward my panties again...

...but I grabbed her wrist.

"No! I can't wait for that! I need it now! _Right Now_!" I insisted...

...and, without hesitation, she reached forward and wrapped her hand around mine...

...and, as she pushed Buzz's tip firmly down against the crotch of my panties...

...I 'accidentally' tilted him, so his other end was pressing, lightly, up against the crotch of her boxers...

...and her pelvis, in an frenzied display of eagerly-welcoming recognition, immediately began squirming against it.

I pretended not to notice.

But several seconds later...

...just as she closed her eyes...

...I suddenly 'realized' what I was doing...

...and moved it away from her.

Her eyes flew open...

...to my apologetic ones.

She somehow managed to look disappointed and relieved at the same time.

Ignoring this, I gripped the back of her hand tightly...

...pressing Buzz against me...

...and my hips began moving, non-stop, under him...

...selfishly...

...as I kissed her...

...deeply and repeatedly...

...keeping her attention focused on my lips...

...and my hips...

..while I tried to keep my lust-crazed mind on her needs...

..._and on the absolute necessity to delay my orgasm._

For now.

Soon, I was confident that she was completely distracted...

...and then, hopeful and determined, I 'unknowingly' tilted Buzz's rounded end upward again...

...and the way her body jumped confirmed that he had indeed made the barest contact...

...and that his vibrations were, lightly but effectively...

...penetrating her outer lips...

...and stimulating her clitoris.

It was obvious that she was trying..._with everything in her_...to resist.

She failed.

Breathing rapidly, she closed her eyes and lowered her pelvis slightly against him...

...and, the instant the two of them made solid contact...

...her hips began jerking involuntarily...

...spastically...

...but then, after what must have been an epic battle of her mind against her body's frantic insistence...

...she actually managed to get her wits about her...

...and, with a violent shudder, she rolled off me...

...and then, lying next to me once more, in disappointed silence...

...she pressed Buzz_ tightly_ against the crotch of my panties.

And as I lay...

...with my mind and body completely engulfed in electric mayhem...

...I wanted _so badly_ to be selfish.

I wanted to cum _so hard..._

_..._right then and there...

...and, if I hadn't resisted, I undoubtedly would have...

...in two minutes or less...

...but I managed to force myself to take back control...

...of both my mind and my body.

I shook my head for a moment to clear it...

...and then, with every shred of determination I could muster...

...I pushed Buzz away from my crotch...

...and sat up.

She looked at me, in uneasy confusion...

...but I shook my head...

...which obviously un-nerved her.

"Yes!" she insisted, trying to push me back down.

She failed.

I shook my head again, leaned forward, and looked directly into her eyes. "It's _your turn_."

She looked back without moving...

...paralyzed and horrified. "N-no!"

"Yes," I replied calmly...

...and, without giving her a chance to reply...

...I gently, yet firmly, pushed her onto her back.

Then, I reached over...

...decisively removed Buzz from her hand...

...and lowered him until he was hovering less than two inches over her crotch.

She looked up at me...

...terrified. "No!"

"Just for a second...then I'm going to stop...I promise."

"No!"

"Shh. I promise."

"N-no!"

"Shh. I promise."

She tried to sit up...

...but I pushed her down with one hand...

...while pushing Buzz down with the other...

...making direct contact with the outside of her underwear...

...and indirect contact with the inside of her vagina...

...for a second.

Her hips jerked, voluntarily and violently, up to meet him...

...but then, I moved my hand away.

She was shaking as I lowered my face to hers. "You know you've wanted to...for such a long time."

She shook her head in protest.

Determined to prove my point..

...I lightly pressed him against her again...

...for an instant...

...nodding at her, knowingly, as once again, her hips flung themselves upward, toward him...

...demandingly...

...and then, I immediately snatched him away.

She looked like she was going to cry.

She obviously knew that I was aware of how badly she wanted this.

And now, I decided, it was time for her to admit it...

...to me _and_ to herself...

...even if she couldn't do it verbally.

So I deliberately lowered Buzz...

...touched him to the outside of her boxers again...

...right over her special spot...

...pressed him firmly against it for a second...

...and then pulled him away. "You know you can do this, Sam."

"N-no," she insisted.

"Yes," I whispered. "Just try it...just once."

She didn't answer.

I hesitated for a moment...

...wanting to find exactly the right words. "If you don't want me to...just say 'no'...right now," I advised.

She didn't respond.

She was thinking it over.

After a minute of silence had passed...

...and she hadn't rejected my request...

...I slowly lowered him again and pressed him against her once more..

Firmly this time.

But that was too physically and emotionally overwhelming for her...

...and she shoved him away from her crotch. "No!"

"Sam?"

She turned her head away.

"Sam?"

No response.

"You know you want to. I know you want to. You _do_, don't you?"

She didn't answer...

...but, from the expression on her face, it was obvious that she knew that we both knew.

"Come on, let's try one more time...I'll be really gentle this time," I promised.

She didn't respond.

"If you don't want me to, just shake your head...and I won't."

No response.

Encouraged, I lowered him again...

...sliding the tip inside the fly of her boxers...

...barely resting it against the top of her vagina.

She gasped...but this time...she didn't resist.

She wanted it.

Encouraged, I whispered, "That's it...just for a little while...I promise...we don't have to finish right now."

She lay, holding her breath...

...and my arms...

...until I pressed him forward slightly...

...making direct contact with her clitoris...

..and then she immediately gasped...

...and pushed my hands away. "I...c-can't!"

"Shh," I whispered, as I slowly lowered him again. "Everything will be fine...just try it one more time...on the_ outside _of your-"

...but, just as the tip made contact with her boxers...

...she intercepted my hands. "N-no! I...I-"

I gently removed her hand from mine, and lowered him again, as I said softly, "Come on...just try again...just one more time. I promise that it'll _only_ be on the_ outside_ of your underwear...and we'll go really slow, oka-"

She shoved him away. "I _c-c-can't!_"

Enough.

With a sigh, I turned Buzz off and set him aside.

"I'm sorry, Sam...no more. Well, at least we tried. You did the best you could...but now I'm sure you realize...just like I realize... that-"

"Please!" she yelled suddenly...

...grabbing both of my hands.

I looked at her in confusion. "Sam? What do you mean? I don't-"

Her hands left my arms and grabbed my shoulders tightly. "Please! Carls! Please!"

"Please..._what_? Please...stop?"

She shook her head. "No..._please_!"

I looked into her eyes very carefully...

...and very uncertainly. "Sam? Are you saying...that you..._want_ to have one?"

No answer.

"Sam?"

She hesitated. "I...don't know."

"Sam...just 'yes' or 'no'."

And then...

...very, very slowly...

...she nodded.

"We could...try again," I offered...

...but she shook her head and buried her face in her hands. "I...I _can't_!"

And, as I sat watching her tremble...

...in frustration and desperation...

...I knew that it was, without question, time for Phase Six.

Time to Tell All.

"Sam?"

She raised her terrified eyes to mine.

I lay my hand against her cheek. "We both know for a fact that you _love_ Buzz...after all, you told me that you used to use him _every single day_...yet, you haven't done yourself since you've moved in here...even _by yourself_...even after I gave you my blessing _and _begged you to...so...that can only mean one thing: You haven't...because you want your next orgasm to be from me."

I waited in silence...

...for more than a minute...

...but she didn't answer.

"Sam," I continued with determination, "I _know_ that I'm right about this. When you undressed me before my first surgery, you said that you were okay with us talking about being together as soon as I was well...and later, when we were in the shower, you said that Big Bertha would give us excellent odds on it..._both_ of which prove that you want us to be intimate. It's so obvious...but still...I'm going to ask you again. Everything that I just told you...everything that you've said and done up 'til now...points to only one conclusion: You want your next orgasm to be from me...don't you?"

She looked down.

I reached over and took both of her hands between my own. "Come on...just say 'yes' or 'no'."

Looooooooooong pause. "Y-yes."

I gave her hands a squeeze. "But...you felt selfish knowing that I couldn't have an orgasm, due to my injury...isn't that right?"

Short pause. "Yes."

"So you decided not to be with me because of that fact...is that correct?"

No pause. "Yes."

"And you decided that, since I couldn't have one, that it would be unfair for you to have one...so you didn't...am I right?"

"Yes."

I moved my hand to her chin and gently lifted it...

...raising her eyes to mine.

"But that's not the only reason you've hesitated...is it?"

Silence.

"Sam?"

More silence.

"Just 'yes' or 'no'...whatever your answer is, it's okay."

"N-no."

"There was another reason...wasn't there?"

She bit her lip, but finally answered, "Y-yes."

Deep breath.

Here comes the hard part.

"Sam...there's something I have to..."

I faltered.

Her expression immediately changed...

...to one of _absolute _terror...

...as she sensed that, whatever I was about to say...

...that there would be nowhere for her to hide.

I took a deep breath.

Moment of truth.

"Sam, I...I know you told me...that...no one has ever sexually abused you...and I _believe_ you...

...but someone tried to...didn't they?"

She bit her lower lip.

"Sam?"

Her features contorted severely as she tried to cover her face with both hands.

I took hold of her wrists.

"Come on," I said gently. "It's not going to be that hard...just say 'yes' or 'no'."

Looking down, she wiped her eyes on the back of her hand...

...and nodded.

I hugged her. "I know, honey...I know that someone did-"

And, before I could finish...

...I felt her body collapse in my arms...

...as, at long last...

...realizing that I already knew...

...and realizing that she couldn't carry the crushingly-heavy burdens of shame and secrecy any longer...

...she dropped all of her defenses.

I pulled her closer. "I know, honey...I know...and I'm_ so_ sor-"

"H-he was d-dating my m-" she began...

...but I shook my head. "Shh. Just 'yes' or 'no' tonight. If you ever want to tell me about, it's okay...and if you never do, it's also okay...but not tonight."

I felt her nod against my shoulder.

I pulled back. "He came into your room one night and tried to...to rape you...didn't he?"

She immediately lunged forward...

...buried her face in my chest...

...and nodded.

"You didn't let him, did you?"

"N-no."

"You managed to get away didn't you?"

"Yes."

"But not before he gave you this," I declared...

...tracing my finger across the faded scar on the left side of her chest...

...over her heart.

She froze...

...and then started to cry.

I pulled her closer. "Sam? Is that what hap-"

"Y-y-y-yes," she sobbed.

I hesitated. "Did he ever try again?"

"N-no."

"Did you ever see him again?"

"No."

"Is Freddie a dork?"

"YES-YES-YES-YES-YES!" she yelled into my cleavage...

...and then resumed sobbing.

I leaned down and kissed her...

...and, as I pulled back, she forced herself to look up into my eyes. "C-carls-" she began...

...but I shook my head. "Yes' or 'no' only," I insisted...

...attempting to hug her again...

...but, before I was able to...

...she had pulled free of my arms.

As I watched, puzzled, she got up off the bed and crossed the room.

Leaning down over my desk, she unzipped her backpack, took something out of it, and walked back over to bed.

She sat down next to me, and, with head bowed, she held it out to me.

Two pieces of folded Krane stationery.

She_ had _written more.

I reached for them with one hand...

...and reached for her with the other.

Pulling her down on top of my body, I watched as she lowered her face into my chest again...

...and then I kissed the top of her head, while she slid her arms around me.

"Whatever it is, it's going to be okay," I whispered...

...but she shook her head.

I wrapped my left arm around her. "Yes it is...I promise," I insisted...

...but she didn't respond...

...so, I kissed her one more time...

...and then unfolded both sheets...

...and started to read.

_I'm not sure if you'll ever see this...because I don't know if I'll ever have the guts to give it to you. _

_Everything between us is so completely fucked up now, and I know that it's all my fault. I realize that I've hurt you, which is the last thing I ever wanted to do...but I know that I have, and badly, even though you're trying your hardest to hide it. _

_I'm really, really sorry._

_I Do Want To Be With You, more than you could ever know, but things have happened in the past that _

(She didn't finish this sentence.)

_He was dating my mom. It was about four years ago. I had just discovered Buzz a month or two before, and one morning, right after I had woken up, I was using him. _

_And I was naked._

_Since it was past ten AM, I knew that Mom had gone down to the unemployment office, so I didn't bother to close the bedroom door. _

_I didn't know that anyone else was in the apartment. _

_Anyway, I was just about to orgasm when I opened my eyes, and saw him._

_Standing next to the bed._

_Leaning over me. _

_Jerking off. _

_I don't know how long he had been there, and I didn't hear him come into the room because Buzz is so loud._

_He had a ten-inch long French knife in his free hand, and I guess he had been making a sandwich, because the blade had mayo on it. Before I could recover from my surprise and jump off the bed, he grabbed my hair with one hand and yanked my head backward, and then he pushed the end of the knife against my ribs and said, with a smirk, "It looks like I've been dating the Wrong Whore!" _

_Panicking, I tried to sit up, but he shoved me down onto my back again, and then he climbed on top of me, and I could smell the stale booze on his breath as he said that I didn't have to settle for a toy anymore, because he was about to show me what a 'real one' could do. _

_I begged him to let me go, and told him that I was only 13, and he said, 'all the better...it'll be all the more memorable...for the both of us'._

_When I tried to push him off, he slapped me so hard that he split my lip, and then he said that he most definitely was going to make me bleed...Right Now...one way or the other...and then he added that he'd kill me if I ever told anyone...that, even if I managed to get him arrested and convicted, that he'd eventually get out of jail; and that when he did, he'd find me and then he'd kill me. _

_And I said, 'Okay, I'll do whatever you want, just don't hurt me'. Since he was holding me down with one hand and was holding the knife in his other one, he was trying to get his dick into me without using his hands, but he couldn't. So he told me to help him or he'd shove it into me any way that he could. _

_So I immediately reached down between my legs with both hands..._

_... and crushed his balls in a death grip, and as I did, he screamed, and the knife jerked against my chest. _

_And cut me. _

_I never told anyone because I researched him online and found out that, in addition to his past conviction for armed robbery, one of his old girlfriends had disappeared, and one had mysteriously drowned. _

_He got away with it both times._

_Anyway, now I can't be with anyone without_

(That was all she had written.)

It was enough.

But still, it was worse - far worse - than I had expected.

In my opinion, what I had just read most definitely qualifies as sexual abuse...

...but I would never tell her that.

Even though I'm certain that, deep down, she's aware that that's exactly what occurred...

...I don't ever want her to be forced to admit to anyone...

...especially not to herself.

It would only make things so much worse for her.

"Sam?"

Face still buried in my chest, she shook her head.

"Sam?" I asked again...

...but she absolutely refused to look at me...

...so I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her up my chest...

...until her face was near my own. "I knew that something like this had happened. I'm really sorry that I didn't figure it out sooner. I _should have_...by how incredibly offended you looked the first time I asked you. You found it repulsive to even think that he almost...succeeded...didn't you?"

She sniffed and nodded.

Time for a Big White Lie.

"But, don't you see...everything is okay...you won! You were able to fight him off before he actually did anything at all to you!"

She shrugged.

I raised her face to mine...

...and raised my eyebrows...

...and, after a moment, she nodded in agreement.

I nodded in return. "I also should have realized it sooner, by the way that, even though you've been trying so hard to be with me, that you haven't been able to..._let me_."

"Carls...I'm so sor-"

I shook my head. "Shh...Just 'yes' or 'no', okay?"

She nodded.

I lifted her face to mine and kissed her. "Are you still..._sure_ that you want to be with me?"

"Yes," she answered without hesitation.

I smiled. "Well then, we can fix this...right now...if you really want to. Just try harder and-"

She was shaking her head.

I hesitated. "You're afraid to 'let go' in front of me...aren't you?"

She nodded.

Time for one last revelation.

"I know that you are...and not just because of this. Also because you've felt responsible for me since I got sick...and felt you had to be strong around me at all times. You don't want me to ever see you looking the slightest bit vulnerable...because you equate vulnerability with weakness...don't you?"

She looked down without answering.

"We can do this if you really want to...don't you think you can trust me?" I asked gently.

She shook her head.

"Sam...it's _me_. Don't you think you could-"

She shook her head.

"What if I promise you that we'll go really, really slow?"

She shook her head.

"Do you like Fat Cakes?"

She looked up at me, stunned.

I smiled. "I just thought I'd throw you an easy one every now and then. Do you like Fat Cakes?"

"What kind of question is that...you know that I_ love_-"

"No, Sam...the only words I want to hear from you tonight are 'yes' and 'no'."

"Yes," she sighed.

"Do you love me?"

"YES!" She yelled.

With a smile, I pulled her body to mine...

...and my lips to hers...

...and, less than a minute later...

...she was pushing me down onto my back...

...and her hand was trailing slowly down my stomach...

...but, before she knew what had happened...

...I had rolled over...

...and pinned her under me.

"_Your _turn," I reminded her.

Despite the fear in her eyes, she let me slowly kiss my way down her chest. Once I had reached the top of her boxers, I reached over and picked up Buzz...

...and the fear in her eyes immediately turned to terror.

Kneeling next to her, I turned him onto 'high' speed.

"It's only going to be hard the first time," I said, reassuringly.

"Please, no!"

"You can do this," I insisted.

"No!"

"Just try-" I suggested.

"No."

Enough.

"Okay," I replied with a sigh, turning him off again...

...but I had barely set him aside when she sat upright and grabbed onto my shoulders. "Carls..._please_!"

I looked back at her...

...thoroughly confused...

...but before I could ask for clarification...

...she lunged across the bed, and...

...moments later...

...she had shoved something into my hands.

I looked down.

It was Buzz.

"I...don't understand," I said slowly.

In response, she grabbed my hands and Buzz...

...and pushed them downward...

...between her legs...

...and then paused...

...looking up at me...

...begging silently.

I nodded.

Without turning Buzz on...

...I slowly lowered him the rest of the way...

...down between her legs...

...pressing the tip against her...

...holding it there for a very long time...

...waiting in silence...

...but, even though she was looking up at me in terror...

...she didn't push me away.

"You...want to have an orgasm."

It wasn't really a question.

"Y-yes...but I _can't_-" she pleaded.

I nodded. "Do you mean you...want me to leave?"

"No."

"Do you...want me here with you?"

She nodded.

I still wasn't sure what she meant. "Do you...want to...do it yourself?"

"No."

"It's okay if you do," I assured her. "I don't min-"

"No," she insisted.

"Do you want me to help you?"

She shook her head.

This was more than a little confusing.

"Sam...I don't know what to do. Then...I...don't...how...can we-"

She answered my question for me.

Getting out of bed...

...she went back over to my desk...

...reached into her backpack again...

...and slowly, hesitatingly, approached the bed...

...and then, sitting down next to me...

...head bowed...

...she held out one more sheet of stationery.

I unfolded it...

...and immediately felt my blood turn to ice in my veins...

...as I read the six words she'd written.

_I want you to force me._

"No! I can't possibly do something like that!" I gasped. "That would make me _a thousand times worse_ than that scum who-"

She raised her head and looked at me...

...with pleading eyes.

"Sam! You know that there's no way I could _ever_-" I began...

...and then...

...I stopped arguing.

Because I knew that she was right.

And I knew why she wanted me to.

Because, after watching her try...

...again and again...

...and fail...

...again and again...

...it was clear, to both of us, that she absolutely couldn't do it on her own.

Not the first time.

And if I _didn't _do this, it would mean that I didn't love her...

...and nothing could be further from the truth, so...

...immediately, I threw the note aside...

...shoved her down onto her back...

...and yanked her T-shirt up over her head...

...and off her body.

And then, just as suddenly...

...I stopped moving, and sat looking down at her...

...with a warm smile.

Needless to say, she was more than a little surprised.

"That was the hard part," I announced, with a laugh.

She didn't buy it.

Oh, well...I tried.

Time for Plan 'B'.

I lay my nearly-naked body against hers, wrapped my arms around her and kissed her gently...

...determined not to use any force at all...

...until it was absolutely necessary.

Which I was well aware it would be.

Soon.

She kissed me back...

...nervously...

...because she was completely unsure what to expect next.

But I was.

I wasn't going to try to divert her attention and effort toward myself anymore.

Now, I was going to do what she had asked.

And, no matter what...

...we were going to finish.

I held her tightly for a minute, while I summoned up all my mental and physical resources...

...and then, I removed my left hand from her back...

...and slowly slid it down her chest...

...down her stomach...

...and then, without stopping...

...down inside the front of her boxers.

She didn't move.

She didn't speak.

She didn't breathe.

But all of that was about to change.

As my hand slid lower...I raised my lips to her ear. "Open your legs for me."

Trembling, she did.

And I slid my hand even lower...

...and then, carefully, yet deliberately...

...I began to finger her.

She started to whimper, so I whispered, "Don't worry. It's only for a little while...just like last time...I promise."

She nodded, uncertainly...

...but, less than a minute later, I stopped...

...removed my hand from her underwear...

...and kissed her.

"You're doing really well," I said with a smile. "Can I please do it again...just for a little while?"

With a nervous nod, she opened her legs wider.

"That's it...this is going to feel so nice," I said in a low, reassuring voice, as my fingers found her vulva once again.

She wasn't nearly as wet as she had been earlier; I guess most of it had soaked into her underwear; but, determined to change that as soon as I possibly could...

...I took hold of her wrist and slid her hand far down inside my panties.

From the way she soon was touching me, I could tell that she appreciated it...

...because it gave her something to focus on for the moment.

As her fingers explored my vulva, I gently probed near the top of hers, until I found the soft crevices on either side of her clitoris; and I settled my index finger into the right one, and my middle finger into the left one.

And then, squeezing them together slightly...

…I began to rub.

As I did, she began breathing jerkily...

...and then, her focus shifted away from me...

...and she removed her hand from between my legs and, putting both hands on my shoulders to steady herself...

...she began pressing her thighs together...

...and tilting her pelvis upward.

"Good girl," I whispered. "This is going to feel_ so _nice."

Soon, her breathing changed, yet again...

...becoming more shallow and more rapid...

...and, as it did, I moved my fingers lower...

...into her recently accumulated wetness...

...and, after saturating them on all sides...

...I slid them back upward.

As they reached her clitoris again, and began moving in gentle, swirling motions on either side of it...

...I looked down into her eyes.

She was looking back at me...

...obviously scared...

...obviously aroused...

...and just as obviously confused...

...not understanding why I wasn't being rough with her.

I shook my head. "Only if I have to."

She nodded, comprehending, and closed her eyes.

"Let's try," I said softly. "You need to have one so badly. You want to have one so badly. I want you to have one so badly."

I stopped moving my fingers for a moment...

...waiting, in silence, for her to reply...

...or to at least open her eyes.

But she didn't.

I thought it over...

...and decided that her lack of response was an invitation to proceed...

...so I reached down with both hands...

...and slowly began to ease her boxers down past her hips.

She gasped, but she didn't try to stop me...

...so far, so good.

I slid them gently down to her knees...

...no resistance.

Holding my breath, I pushed them over her feet, picked them up, and dropped them over the side of the bed.

No reaction.

No news is good news.

I lay down next to her again.

"Everything is going to be fine," I whispered, as I picked up Buzz...

...and turned him on.

Immediately, she opened her eyes...

...and closed her legs.

I set him down next to her on the bed, still running, and slid my palm between her knees.

"Please," I whispered.

She shook her head.

Neither of us moved.

Nearly five minutes passed before I realized...

...that I had only one option.

And so, my heart wrenching with sadness...

...I put my other hand between her knees...

...and pushed her legs far apart.

"N-no-" she began...

...but before she could go any further, I reached over...

...quickly retrieved Buzz...

...and lowered him between her legs.

I kept my other hand where it was, ready to prevent her from trying to close her legs again...but to my surprise...

...she didn't.

Breathing a silent sigh of relief, I moved Buzz upward slightly...

...barely resting his tip against her outer lips.

Her breathing deepened as she closed her eyes...

...and moved her pelvis forward slightly.

"That's it...see?" I said encouraginly. "You remember how good Buzz feels...and how much you've missed him...don't you?"

She soon responded...

...but not verbally.

The way her pelvis was tilting upward...over and over...

...trying (unsuccessfully) to make sustained contact answered my question.

It was time for Phase Seven.

Time to set her free from her self-created prison.

I gradually moved Buzz forward and upward...

...until his tip had penetrated her outer lips...

...and made direct contact with the left side of her clitoris.

Her 'special spot'.

And I pressed him carefully, yet firmly, against her.

SAM:

Seconds after Carly pressed Buzz's tip into me, waves of sexual tension started to build, along with apprehension, which rapidly turned into fear.

Oh, God.

What had I just asked of her?

What had I just demanded of myself?

I couldn't do this.

No way.

Even as I began the ascent that would, within a few short minutes, lead to orgasm, I found myself desperately holding back, afraid to be vulnerable, scared to be completely defenseless, terrified to release in front of Carly, even though we had always shared so much. But, even though I was resisting...

...my body was insisting.

Okay, think about something else, anything...focus on...

"Sam?"

I didn't answer.

"Sam, look at me."

I couldn't.

"Sam...Look...At...Me."

It was not a request.

Trembling, I raised my eyes to hers.

"Stop trying to fight it."

I tilted my head back, avoiding her gaze...

...because, no matter what she said, there was _no way_ I could stop fighting...

...there was _no way_ I could 'let go'.

Carly wrapped her free arm around my back and raised me up off the bed, until our faces were inches apart.

"Sam, look at me."

My eyes met hers, and I began to tremble, completely intimidated, as I saw the masterful way that they bore into my own.

"I know you're _so close_ right now..." she began.

I shook my head violently, while trying...and failing...to control my violently-shaking body.

"...and I know you're scared. _And_ I know _why_," she continued.

I bit my lower lip and shook my head again.

"It's okay," she insisted. "Don't be afraid of me being here with you. You think that being vulnerable during orgasm is the same thing as being weak. It's not. And you're with_ me_...who loves you!"

I tried to focus solely on my own frantic breathing, yet was unable to tear my eyes away from Carly's.

"Sam, don't try to resist; just release it."

I shook my head again as I grabbed her shoulders, trying to steady myself.

"You know you can't hold back forever," she reminded me.

As she did, my entire body jerked, spastically, in confirmation.

This was torture.

I had to get away.

Now.

I tried to slide out from under Carly, but the pressure of her hand on my back increased as I felt Buzz's head suddenly press tightly against my clitoris.

CARLY:

As I pressed Buzz's tip firmly into her, she squirmed under me, desperately trying to close her legs...but, before she could, I quickly thrust my knee between her thighs and shifted my body weight, holding her down, hating that I now knew for a fact that...

...it was going to be necessary for me to force her.

SAM:

In desperation, I pushed my hands up against Carly's chest, but a new and terrifying weakness, which suddenly, profoundly, completely engulfed me, made it impossible for me to move her, even slightly, off my body.

CARLY:

Helplessly, she looked at me, and I looked back at her with determination.

"This...is going to happen..."

She was near tears. "Please, no,...I can't," she begged.

"...and there's nothing you can do to stop it," I announced with finality.

She was now trembling uncontrollably.

SAM:

My thigh muscles were now on fire, attempting to resist.

They failed...

..._epically_.

It was no good.

It had been too long since my last one. My body was demanding immediate and absolute gratification.

Her face was so close to my own, forcing me to meet her gaze.

"Sam, I know you can't hold it back any longer...not when I tell you what you've wanted to hear for so long...I'm yours Sam...I'm all yours now...and, no matter what, I always will be yours. Forever."

I completely lost control.

With a low moan that rapidly increased into a window-rattling crescendo...

...I flung my arms around Carly's neck and involuntarily arched my back, as I climaxed...

...over and over...

in violent spasms of release.

"Oh no!...oh please! ...Carly!...I love!...you!"

I gave up resisting...

...I had no choice...

...and, as a force that wasn't my own immediately seized control...

...I realized that I also had no choice but to follow it wherever it led.

"That's it...that's it..." she murmured, over and over, into my ear...

...as I lurched violently in her arms...

...over and over...

...for what seemed forever...

...until every last one of my body's countless, resident demons had been exorcised...

...and, finally, I collapsed, silently, against her.

Gentle hands lowered me back onto the bed and I felt Carly's body move off mine.

CARLY:

She blinked rapidly trying, unsuccessfully, to hold back tears.

As she began to cry freely, I slid my hand under her shoulder. "Come here, or you'll drown," I directed, lying back on the bed and pulling her over onto my chest...

...glad that her face was now between my breasts...

...because it meant that she couldn't see the tears in my own eyes.

"C-C-Carls" she sobbed.

"It's okay. I'm right here...I'm right here, sweetheart," I whispered.

She nodded, and let me pull her closer, as I repeated, "It's okay...it's okay...everything is okay now."

I let her cry herself quiet.

And then, I dried my eyes on a corner of the sheet, gently turned her over onto her back, and kissed my way from her forehead down to her feet.

Settling next to her on my side, I took a deep breath.

I knew what had to happen next.

"Sam...look at me."

She did.

"Now it's your turn to be the 'top man'."

She looked back at me...

...in total confusion...

...and I realized that I was going to have to spell it out. "Now I want _you _to be the one in charge. You're going to boss _me_ around...and I have to do whatever you say...no matter what it is."

No sooner had I finished this sentence...

...than her look of confusion twisted into one of horror. "No!"

"Come on, Sam,...fair is fair. Take me!"

"No! _No way!_" she yelled...

...but I wasn't going to let her off the hook.

No. No way.

I leaned over and looked directly into her eyes. "Yes. I want _you_ to force _me_ now. After what just happened...it's only fair of me to let y-"

"No!" she insisted. "That will never, _ever_ happen, Carls!"

"Just do it, Sam."

"N-"

"I'll even let you speak! Any words you want to!"

I guess that offer clinched the deal...

...because, suddenly, she grabbed both of my shoulders...

...and pushed me down onto my back.

And I started to struggle. "Sam, _no!_"

She stopped immediately "Carls, I'm sorry! I thought-"

"Keep going," I directed.

"But-" she began to protest...

...until I shook my head. "I don't want you to feel helpless...I want you to have had control too. Just this one time...and then it's never going to happen again...to either of us. Not _ever,_" I announced.

She didn't think it over for long.

Suddenly, her shaking hands were on my shoulders...

...and she pushed me down onto the bed.

"Sam!" I started to push her off me...

...but before I was able to get my shoulders off the mattress...

...she shoved me back down...

...hard...

...pinning me.

"Sam, no!"

She paused. "Carls, I'm, not enjoying this. Not at all."

"Shh. Just finish it," I insisted.

"But...why?"

She tried to sit up, but I grabbed the front of her shirt and held her body over mine. "To be fair."

She shook her head. "I don't want...it's not neces-"

"Oh, yes it is," I insisted. "Because, after you've also..._done it_...then we'll be even."

She wasn't convinced. "But-"

I reached up and gently took her face in my hands. "Sam, if you love me...then do it. Just like...what I just did to you...which was done only out of love."

She looked down at me and asked, slowly, "Do you mean...you...enjoy this?"

I hesitated.

If I said that I hated it...which was true...then she'd _never_ do it...

...and so I decided to circumvent the question. "I...just...want you to have done it once, too. And be sure to make it _believable_...otherwise, it'll always be like I...victimized you. Please, Sam...I don't _ever_ want that."

After thinking it over...

...for almost a minute...

...she sighed...

...and then...

...she let go of me and leaned back in silence.

Just as I sat up...

...ready to continue arguing my point...

...both her hands shot forward...

...and grabbed my shoulders...

...and, much to my surprise...

...she shoved me down onto my back...

...onto the mattress...

...and pinned me again.

I looked up into her eyes...

...and was unnerved at the way she was now staring at me...

...so contemptuously...

...and I started to struggle...

...but she tightened her grip. "Don't you _dare_ try to get away from me! You're not going anywhere!" she snarled.

"Sam stop it! I don't want you to!"

"That's too bad! Because you're going to have an orgasm!"

I managed to get my hands up against her chest and tried to push her off me...

..but failed. "No...please!" I begged.

"Yes! You are! Right Now!"

"Don't make me!"

She clapped a hand over my mouth. "Don't argue with me!" she snapped, "or you're going to regret it!"

Well...I_ did_ tell her to make it believable.

And then, before I could decide whether it was a good idea to talk back again...

...I felt her hand slide, palm-up, under my butt...

...jerking it upward, off the mattress...

...and, before I could recover from the shock...

...let alone protest...

...she roughly shoved a towel under me...

...and started to pull my panties down.

Grabbing her wrists...

...I tried to stop her...

...resisting as hard as I could...

...but I failed.

Now desperate, I tried to block her hands with my own...

...but she slapped them away...

...hard...

...and then, immediately and forcibly...

...she yanked my panties off, with such force...

...that I heard them rip.

Now completely naked...and totally helpless...I begged "No..._Please_! I don't want-"

Suddenly, her face was less than three inches from my own. "That's too bad...because you're _going to_! And I'm going to make you!"

And, before I was able to resist...

...either verbally or physically...

...she snatched Buzz...

...and turned him on.

I put both hands against her shoulders...

...and tried to push her off me.

"Leave me alone!" I begged, closing my thighs tightly.

"Shut up!" she snapped, as she wedged her free hand between them.

I managed to keep them closed...

...for about five seconds.

Until she got them apart and forced her knee between them.

As she lowered Buzz with determination into the space between my open legs, I grabbed her right wrist with both hands...

...trying my hardest to push her away...

...resisting with everything I had in me...

...but she was stronger...

...so, in desperation, I tried to roll out from under her...

...but, before I could, she had forcibly pushed Buzz between my outer lips...

...and was holding him tightly against me.

My entire body began thrashing in fear under hers. "No! S-stop it!"

I tried to sit up, but she grabbed my shoulder with her free hand...

...and shoved me back down against the bed...

...and pushed her face directly into mine. "I'm never going to stop!" she yelled.

"Sam! D-don't make me do this!"

"You made_ me_ do it! So don't tell me what to do! And if you try to move one more time, I'll-"

She didn't finish.

I tried to lie still, but my hips now began thrusting forward, as Buzz slowly but surely took control of my entire body.

"See...you _do_ want it!" she sneered, rubbing the tip against my clitoris, in a less-than-gentle way.

"I don't...I swear! Let me go!" I pleaded.

"Not until you're done."

"I _am_ done-"

"_No, You're Not!_ I'm the one who decides when you are...even if that means that you're going to have seven orgasms before I let you stop."

"No! Not that! I can't!" I gasped.

"You can...and you will! _I'll make you_!"

"Let go of me!" I started to struggle again.

She wrapped her left arm around my waist...

...and pushed Buzz up against me so tightly that I had to bite back a scream.

(Of pleasure.)

Time to try a new strategy.

"S-sam...you'd better let me go...Right Now...or else I'll-" I began...

...stopping immediately as I watched her expression immediately distort into one of rage.

"You're already in enough trouble...do you want to piss me off more? Do you want to know what I'm gonna do to you if that happens?"

"Sam! No! Please!"

"Shut it, Carls! _Now!_"

No matter what the circumstances, I've never had the ability to resist Buzz's turbo-charged charms...but tonight...for Sam's sake...I did my best to hold out for as long as I could.

Which wasn't long.

But still, before I_ did_ orgasm...

...in a last-ditch effort to escape...

...I bent my knees and pushed my pelvis up off the mattress. "Sam! Don't make me-OW!"

Her left hand cracked like a whip as it collided with my vulnerable, exposed right butt cheek.

Even though it actually sounded worse than it felt...

...I absolutely wasn't expecting that...

...and I started to cry...

...which, apparently, really pissed her off. "Didn't I just tell you to _shut up_?" she demanded.

"But-"

"There you go again! I'm only gonna say it one more time...Shut The Fuck Up..._Now..._or you won't be able to sit down for a week!"

"S-sam-"

She leaned down and yelled, "That's it! I'm tired of you fucking disobeying me! If you even _try_ to argue with me again...even one more word...you're going to be very, _very_ sorry!"

It was a threat that she'd never have a chance to carry out...

...since I couldn't have argued...even if I'd wanted to...

...because my body had other plans at the moment.

"I'm gonna...oh God...oh...oh...SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!"

Thoughts of escape were now the absolute last thing on my mind...

...as I grabbed her shoulders...

...and her free hand grabbed mine...

...both of us pulling our bodies as closely together as we possibly could...

...and I began to ride it out.

Nearly a minute later...

...when I had finally lost my stress...

..._and_ my mind...

...(not to mention all my ability to move)...

...I looked up at her...

...and saw her lower lip trembling...

...and the tears in her eyes. "C-c-carls...I'm so sorry."

I took both her hands between my own. "I'm not."

"I..._never_ should have h-hit-" she began.

"I'm glad you did," I stated flatly.

"But-"

It came out sounding more like a sob than a word.

I reached up and pulled her body down onto mine.

"Sam, look at me. It's okay. I promise."

She shook her head.

"It _is_," I insisted.

She turned her face from mine. "I...still didn't enjoy it."

"Shh...okay, but do you feel...a little less victimized now?" I asked.

She thought it over for a long moment, and then she nodded slowly.

I ran a hand through her hair. "Then it was worth it," I answered reassuringly.

She didn't look entirely convinced. "I...guess."

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"I have to be honest...I kind of...uh...you know..._did_...a little."

Her expression changed...

...four times...

...in rapid succession. She had no idea how to process this revelation. "Oh," she finally answered...

...lamely.

I smiled. "Do you know _why_ I did?"

"No," she answered, hesitatingly, apparently unsure as to whether or not she wanted to hear my response.

I slid my hands down her back, finally letting them rest on her butt, and then looked directly into her eyes.

"Because...I was _with_ _you_...and I trust you completely. I know for a fact that you'd never_ really_ do something like that...under any circumstances...and I wanted you to see that I knew...so I deliberately made myself vulnerable...to show you how much I trust you. And, well...knowing that you love me so much...well...that's what made it...you know...kind of a turn-"

Blushing furiously, I stopped...

...but she got the gist of it. "Oh."

I smiled up at her. "So now...after seeing how completely I trusted you...I'm sure that you can feel the same confidence with me."

She looked down.

Oh, no.

"Sam?"

She shook her head.

Oh. No.

She tried to roll off me, but I wrapped my arms around her. "Please?"

She hesitated. "I...want to...but-"

I nodded sympathetically.

She had been through enough for one night.

"Okay, you don't have to...maybe some other time."

She shook her head. "Carls...I...I- could we-"

I pulled back and looked into her eyes. "Are you saying that you...want to try again?"

She nodded. "I w-want to fix this...but I don't know how-"

I hugged her. "It's alright...I _know_ it can be fixed...I'm sure that if you try again you'll find that it's a lot easier now than it was the first time...okay?"

She didn't reply.

"Just think, Sam...you've already had an orgasm...one that you've desperately needed for a very long time...so that alone will have eliminated a lot of your stress. So now, you'll be able to relax...won't you?"

She didn't answer.

"I'm not going to hurt you...not in any way," I added.

Still no response.

"Sam?"

"I-I still w-want to-"

She couldn't finish.

I leaned up and kissed her forehead. "All right...we will...okay?"

She hesitated...

...then nodded...

...and then, she let me roll her over onto her back.

I leaned down and she raised her eyes to mine...

...fearfully...

...but I shook my head. "It's okay...because we're going to do it the right way this time. _Gently_."

She closed her eyes...

...and opened her legs.

"Good girl," I whispered. "This is going to feel _so good_."

She gasped as I slid my hand between her knees...

...and then up the inside of her thighs...

...finally letting it rest against her outer lips.

Leaning down toward her chest, I slowly, sensually drew her left nipple into my mouth...

...and began caressing it in random circular patterns with my tongue...

...and she arched her back...

...pushing the tip of her breast even deeper between my eager lips...

...and, then, deeper still...

...as my fingers found her clitoris.

I touched her there with restraint...

...using feather-light strokes...

...wanting her to clearly see the difference between what had happened between us last time...

...and what was going to happen from now on...

...wanting her to see that she_ never_ had to fear physical intimacy with me again.

I released her breast for a moment and asked, "Are you having a good time?"

She nodded.

(Not sure if she meant it...she was avoiding my eyes.)

Nevertheless, I raised my lips to hers and kissed her...

...and, once my lips had her full attention...

...I let my fingers slip lower down her vulva...

...until they were directly against the opening of her vagina.

Still kissing her, I rubbed the area lightly...

...and was encouraged to feel the generous amount of wetness that had already begun to accumulate.

Holding my breath...

...I very gently began probing with my index finger...

...until, seconds later, its tip had barely penetrated her.

She gasped...

...and closed her legs. "N-no-"

"Shh...just a little ways," I whispered.

"Carls-"

"Shh...just for a second...I promise."

"I-"

"I _promise,_" I repeated.

Her entire body was shaking...

...violently...

...as she opened her legs.

I moved my fingers back up to her clitoris...

...and began to stroke her gently again.

And she closed her eyes once more.

After a minute or two of gently fingering her there...

...and watching in satisfaction as the movements her pelvis was making confirmed that she was indeed becoming extremely aroused...

...I gently slid my index finger downward again.

I glanced up at her face.

She was biting her lip.

She knew.

She knew what I was about to do.

And she was scared.

"It's going to be okay...I'm going to be really careful," I said softly.

She didn't respond.

I angled my hand downward...

...and my finger upward...

...and slowly, gently...

...I moved it forward...

...until it had advanced, with almost no resistance, two inches inside her warm, velvet interior.

And then, immediately, I withdrew it...

...and leaned down...

...and whispered, "See? You _can_ trust me...and I'm not going to go inside further..._not even try to_...for the rest of the night. I promise."

She lifted her eyes to mine...

...and I saw, much to my relief...

...that she believed me.

I pulled her close. "I love you, Sam...so much! You know that...don't you?"

"Y-yes."

I pulled back and smiled at her...

...and then, I reached over...

...and picked up Buzz...

...but, before I could even turn him on...

...she pushed me off her...

...and scooched across the bed...

...looking back at me from across it...

...in obvious terror. "No! I can't!"

Shit.

"But...you just saw that you can trust..."

She looked near tears. "I..._can't!_"

Enough.

I set Buzz aside, and replied, with a sigh, "Then we won't-"

"N-no...I...I...still...want you to!" she demanded.

I hesitated. "But...you just said-"

"Carls...I...I want-"

I looked at her in silent confusion.

Waiting.

She took a deep breath. "I w-want you to...you know_...like you did before_..._again._"

Oh no.

I hadn't anticipated this.

But still, I didn't have to think about my response.

Not for a second.

"No, Sam. I'll never force you again."

"B-but I _need_-" she began, pleadingly...

...but I immediately cut her off. "No. You _don't_ need me to do that...and I'm not going to."

"I_ do _need you to!" she insisted, "Because, last time...I...I was...w-weak!"

I moved over to her side of the bed and sat next to her. Looking directly into her eyes, I declared, "No...you _weren't_ weak-"

"I_ was_!" She insisted. I tried to push you off me...but I..._c-couldn't!_"

She paused...looking deeply ashamed at this confession.

I shook my head. "Weakness had nothing to do with it. We both know that you could have flung me across the room...and right through the window...easily...if you'd wanted to."

She hesitated...

...but only for a second.

And then...

...she nodded.

"So," I continued, "it follows, logically, that there was only one reason why you didn't send me flying, Sam...and that's because..._you wanted me to finish_."

Looking deeply into her eyes, I soon clearly saw her comprehension and acceptance of this fact...

...but, still, she doubted her own abilities. "But...even if that's true...I still..._can't!_ I need you to...to _make_ me again!"

"No."

She was staring at me in desperation. "Please, Carls! _Please!_"

"I'm sorry, Sam. Never again."

She looked near tears. "Please! I want to fix this!"

Folding my arms across my chest, I answered her calmly. "Forcing you will _never_ fix this."

"Carls,_ please!"_

"No, Sam...I'll never force you ag- no...wait! I know what we can do!"

Suddenly inspired, I leaned across the bed and picked up Buzz...

...and then, reaching down...

...I slid my other hand between her closed legs.

She looked at me fearfully...

...but I shook my head. "Don't worry, I promise not to turn it on. I just want to show you something. Now, please open your legs for me."

She did...

...slowly.

And I lowered Buzz between them...

...slowly...

...and then, as she flinched nervously, I gently spread her outer lips slightly apart with my other hand...

...and pressed his tip up against her 'special spot'...

...and held it there.

"Is that the right place?" I asked.

"Y-yes."

"Okay, Sam...now, I want you to grab onto my right hand."

She hesitated.

"Go ahead," I urged. "I guarantee you're going to be glad that you did."

With a confused look...

...and without words...

...she reached down between her legs...

...and wrapped both of her hands around the back of my right one.

"That's it," I said encouragingly. "Now...I want you to pull my hand and Buzz away from you."

And, seconds later, she did.

Effortlessly.

I nodded. "Excellent. Now...move my hand and Buzz back."

She looked at me, obviously still confused.

"Go ahead...it'll be fine," I assured her...

...and she moved our hands and Buzz back against her crotch.

Easily.

"Great. Now...I want you to move us away again," I directed...

...and she did.

With absolutely no resistance on my part.

I smiled at her in triumph. "See? You control everything! You can stop me _and _stop this at any time you want to...immediately _and_ with no resistance.._._okay?"

She opened her mouth to speak...

...but I shook my head. "Let me finish. If, at any time, you decide to move my hand and Buzz away, I _promise_ you that we'll be done for the night...or longer, if that's what you want. I won't try to continue...or even try to convince you to. Not at all...I promise. Do you believe me?"

She only hesitated for a few seconds before responding. "Y-yes."

I sighed, silently, in relief. "That's good. Because I mean it. If you never believe anything else I've ever told you...believe that."

She nodded...

...and tightened both of her trembling hands around mine...

...and then, less than a minute later, during which I waited patiently...

...while she screwed up her courage...

...we lowered Buzz between her legs again.

"Are you ready?" I asked gently.

"Y-yes."

I turned him on.

Within minutes, it was obvious to me that, over the past couple of months, she had missed Buzz...

...a lot...

...because of the way that her body responded...

...tilting upward against him.

Again and again.

With my free hand, I gently turned her face back to mine...

...but then, she closed her eyes and began to tremble violently and fearfully. "C-carls?"

"Yes?"

Silence.

"Sam...do you want me to stop?" I offered...

...but she bit her trembling lower lip...

...shook her head...

...and then...

...slowly, yet deliberately...

...she took her hands off Buzz...

...and wrapped them around my neck.

"Sam look at me," I directed...

...and she did...

...immediately and fearfully.

I shook my head. "No...there's absolutely no need for you to be scared now...or ever again. Anytime you want to put your hands back on mine, it's okay...and I want you to_ promise_ me that you will."

She nodded...

...but I wasn't finished. "And...any time you want me to stop, I will...and I want you to promise me _right now_ that you're going to tell me..._immediately_...if you feel that way."

"Y-yes," she replied, without hesitation.

I smiled at her warmly and reassuringly. "Sam, I love you. And everything is going to be okay now. You're my rock...and you always have been. You're one of the strongest people I've ever met. You've proved it to me before by the way you've always taken care of me, especially during these past few weeks...and you're proving it to me again, right now, by-"

"Oh, Carls! Oh!" she gasped.

"That's it. Take your time."

"I-I-" she stuttered.

She was getting close.

"Good girl. Keep going," I encouraged.

She wrapped her arms around my shoulders, pressing her fingers into them tightly...

...as I pulled back and looked into her fearful eyes.

"It's okay. I _swear_ that you can stop me...anytime you want to."

She looked near tears.

"Sam...I want you to stop me. Right now."

"N-no."

"Come on," I urged, "just for a minute. I see how much this is upsetting you...and I just want to show you that you can-"

"N-no!" she insisted.

I paused. "Are you sure?"

In response...

...she tightened her arms around me.

"Okay...lie back then," I directed...

...but she shook her head. "C-carls, I'm st-still s-so-"

I leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Shh. I know that you are...but that's what bravery is...doing something, _despite_ being afraid. And, after you do this one time...by yourself...and see that nothing bad happened, then you won't be scared anymore."

"Oh!"

"That's it," I whispered.

She leaned up and buried her face against my shoulder.

"Almost...keep going...I've got you."

"Carls...please!" she sobbed.

"It's okay...come on, honey...you're going to be fine. You know that, don't you?"

She didn't answer me...

...she was crying.

"Almost, Sam...you're almost there...I can tell that you're _so close_!"

She began crying harder.

"Shh...don't be scared...you are _so_ _loved_."

"Oh, God, Carls!" she gasped through her tears.

I maneuvered my head until I was looking directly into her eyes. "That's it. You're in complete control of this situation...you know that you are...don't you?"

"Y-yes."

"And the only reason it's occurring right now is because you really want it to...don't you, Sam?"

"Y-yes."

"No one is here but you and me...me who loves you more than I ever comprehended it was possible to love another person. It's just us...and no one else...and that's how it will always be."

"Carls...I...I'm gonna..."

"Yes. You are. All by yourself."

"Please...no...please..._help me!_"

"How? Is there something else I should be do-"

"No...just..._help me!_" she insisted.

"Okay, darling...I want-"

I never got to finish.

"Carls...I-I-"

Almost there.

"I...oh, God!"

"Just let go of it. I'm right here...and I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you."

"I want...I want to-"

"Then just give in to it."

"I_ can't!" _she insisted fearfully.

"Yes. You can."

"I want...so badly..."

"I know you do...just let go."

She didn't.

She was trying to...

...but she couldn't.

Time to give her a little help.

I lowered my face to hers. "It's not up to your mind anymore. Your body wants it. Your body is demanding it."

"N-no...I-" she began...

...but I shook my head and insisted, "Your body is taking over...and it's dropping all its defenses...and it's lying back...and it's opening itself up...and it-

"Oh, no, oh God, oh, CAAAAAA-

"That's it...just embrace it-"

"AAAAAAAAAA-

"Enjoy it."

"AAAAAARLS!"

As she (finally) stopped screaming...

...the bed stopped shaking...

...and I pulled her close. "You did it!" I congratulated her

"I...did," she agreed, with more than a hint of surprise in her voice.

I pulled back. "Sam...everything is going to be okay now."

She nodded slowly.

"Let go of me," I requested...

...but she shook her head.

"Come on...just for a minute," I insisted.

After spending a minute thinking it over...

...she reluctantly released me...

...and I got up off the bed. "I'll be right back."

I soon returned from the bathroom...

...and, seconds later...

...I heard her sigh in contentment as she felt the warmth of the washcloth between her legs.

Once I had finished drying her, I asked, "Do you want clothes?"

She nodded.

After some dedicated digging in her duffel bag, I found a clean pair of four-leaf clover-print boxers, and put them on her. Afterward, I picked up a clean T-shirt...

...and looked at her questioningly.

She shook her head.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded...

...so I dropped it, crawled under the covers, lay back down, and held out my arms...

...and she moved into them.

Kissing her forehead, I looked down into her eyes. "Sam...you've always been such an inspiration to me."

At first, she looked uncertain as to how to respond, but finally said, tentatively, "Thank you."

I tightened my arms. "No, thank _you._"

She lay quietly for almost a minute, and then said, "I love you, Carls...and now I can...tell you about..._you know_."

I shook my head. "That's not necessary."

"Yes it is!" she insisted.

"Shh. Go to sleep," I whispered, pulling her closer and rubbing her back.

"I can't...not yet. First, I want you to...to know..._everything._"

"But-" I began...

...but she shook her head. "I don't want to have any more secrets. I want you to know...the...rest of it," she persisted...

...and I gave in. "Okay, honey...what did you want to tell me?"

She took a deep, but lazy breath. "Well, for starters...after everything that's happened between us...I now realiz-z-z-z..."

A/N: Okay, I just 'put out' for you...

...so now, while I'm slaving over the next chapter...

...show some love...

...and do the same for me.


	13. Chapter 13

Almost nine hours later...

...I opened my eyes...

...and closed my arms...

...around Sam...

...who was lying, sound asleep, on my chest...

...with her face looking more peaceful and stress-free than I had seen at any time during the past two months.

As the Parrish-blue sky outside my bedroom window gradually lightened...

...silently heralding a new morning...

...I lay watching her...

...lovingly...

...in total, blissful contentment...

...wishing that this moment would never end...

...as her eyes suddenly snapped open...

...and in one move...

...she was off the bed...

...and on her feet. "Oh, God..._Gotta Pee!_" she announced with alarming urgency...

...and, before I could respond...

...she had snatched me up in her arms...

...and we were tearing frantically down the hall...

...and into the bathroom.

Seconds later, she had dragged my panties to my knees, and maneuvered me onto the toilet...

...but, before I could even get started...

...I saw the unmistakeable way she was dancing beside me...

...waiting (and probably praying) for me to finish...

...immediately, if not sooner.

_She looked like she wasn't going to make it._

So, I immediately reached over...

...and yanked her boxers down to her ankles.

"Kick them off, Sam...hurry!" I urged.

Without stopping to ask questions...

...she did...

...and I immediately grabbed her hands...

...turned her to face me...

...and pulled her down onto my lap.

"Carls! What are you do-"

"Shh..._Pee_," I advised.

She stared back at me...

...stunned. "I can't! What if I pee on your-"

Before she had even finished the sentence I realized that...

...she had a very valid point...

...so, without delay, I opened my legs wider...

...which pushed _her_ legs open wider...

...and then, as I wrapped my arms around her waist...

...to steady us both...

...I pushed my pelvis downward...

...forcing myself to start urinating...

...and, as soon as the sound of it reached Sam's ears...

...she gasped...

..._and the floodgates opened._

Ten seconds later...

...she put her hands on my shoulders...

"Oh, God...oh, thank God!" she moaned.

Twenty seconds later...

...she rested her forehead against mine.

"Uhhhh...oh, yesss...what a _relief!_" she exclaimed.

Thirty seconds later...

...as I listened to the still-steady stream of Sam-pee cascading into the bowl under us, I inquired, "Are you going for a record?"

"Don't talk...I need to focus!" she admonished me.

I laughed...

...as she shot me a look...

...but less than ten seconds later, the total absence of sound indicated that she had - finally - finished.

So, I reached behind me...

...grabbed the box of wipes from the top of the tank...

...and looked at her questioningly.

She nodded. "Go ahead."

"Aren't you going to shake it a few times first?" I inquired innocently.

"Hey, Carls...guess what I'm getting you for your birthday?"

I was caught off guard. "What?"

She leaned closer. "A gift card to the dentist...to replace the four teeth I'm about to knock out."

I met her menacing scowl with one of my own...

...but it was no good...

...and, seconds later, we both burst out laughing.

I leaned forward and kissed her...

...and then carefully cleaned between her legs...

...and then I sat patiently...

...while she did the same for me.

And now for the most unpleasant part of the morning:

Pad inspection time.

We both looked.

We both didn't like what we saw.

Not at all.

In less than a minute, she had carried me down the hall...

...put me back into bed...

...and hurried downstairs with her phone...

...while I waited...

...very, very scared.

She didn't stop to grab breakfast...

...but instead came right back up to the room...

...and then approached the bed in silence.

"S-sam?" I said fearfully...

...and she sat down and wrapped her arms around me. "He said...you're fine."

And I collapsed in her arms. "Oh, thank God!"

She pulled back and said, "He told me that, believe it or not, that's a_ normal _color...and it's okay that your flow is starting to taper off now."

I laid my head against her shoulder...

...and she heard me sniff.

"Don't worry, Cupcake...soon this whole 'ripped-up-and-bloody-uterus gig' will be nothing but a bad memory."

I pulled back and met her gaze. Y-you're so eloquent."

She smiled. "Fat Cakes?"

"In a minute," I mumbled, laying my head back on her shoulder.

With a smile, she pulled me closer...

...and leaned back against the pillow.

Approximately one hour and twenty Fat Cakes later...

...she stood up and brushed off the crumbs. "Walk?"

I nodded.

Even though there was almost no danger of me collapsing weakly at Sam's feet...and even though I kept reminding her of that...she kept one arm firmly around my waist during our first few laps around the bedroom.

Finally, assured, she let go of me...walked backward several steps, held out her arms...and I walked into them.

After repeating this scenario about twenty times, we both decided to call it quits.

"Very impressive," she announced, with a smile so wide...

...that you'd think I had just won the Tour d' France.

"Well, what would you like to do next?" she asked, sitting next to me on the edge of the bed.

I thought it over for a minute. "Sam...I'd like to put on clothes today."

"Okay," she agreed, "do you wanna take a shower first?"

"Definitely."

She carried me(!) into the bathroom, and then, to my surprise...

...she actually let me undress her.

(Okay, all she was wearing at the moment was boxers...but still, it was a turn-on!)

Less than two minutes later...

...I found myself sitting on my shower bench...

...with Sam's crotch at eye level.

After I'd stared to my heart's content...

...I pulled her down onto the edge of the tub...

...and then grabbed the shampoo with one hand...

...and the pulsating shower head with the other.

"Let me," I whispered.

She thought it over for a moment...

...and then nodded.

She was surprisingly cooperative while I carefully washed and conditioned her hair...

...but even more so when I picked up the bar of soap!

She put up no resistance whatsoever.

Even though washing her was making me quite aroused...

...and _her washing me_ was making me quite crazy...

...I deliberately behaved myself, not lingering between her legs, and not letting her hand linger between mine...

...because I was determined to give her a lot of space, considering everything that had happened the night before.

She sensed this...

...and didn't press the issue.

Which was a relief...

...for both of us.

Once we were clean, she stepped out of the tub and dried off; and then she grabbed a towel and reached for me...

..but I shook my head. "Do you mind if I shave my legs first?" I inquired. "It's been...awhile."

"Not a problem...I'll be back in a few," she replied...

...and, after handing me my razor...

...she headed to the bedroom to get dressed.

About fifteen minutes later, just as I was rinsing off...

...she walked back in...

...with an incredibly weird expression on her face.

"What's up with you?" I asked...

...but she quickly shook her head...

...so violently...

...that I decided to let the matter drop.

For now.

Even though I was perfectly capable of walking...

...she insisted on carrying me back into the bedroom.

And then...

...came the ordeal of trying to get dressed.

After trying on six or seven different pairs of pants...

...none of which camouflaged my embarrassingly-huge pad bulge even slightly...

...I held out my wallet to Sam.

"Please? The store across the street sells smaller ones...and now that I'm bleeding less, I don't think I'm going to leak."

She hesitated...

...looking less than entirely assured.

I pushed my wallet into her hand and added, "Also, while you're there, be sure to pick out at least five different kinds of junk foo-"

She tore out the door.

Twenty minutes later...

...once I had (thankfully) exchanged my pad for a slightly-smaller, slightly-less-horribly-uncomfortable one...

...and had finished getting dressed...

...we settled back onto the bed...

...and began ripping through the cookies and candy she'd bought.

Shortly thereafter, once our hunger was somewhat assuaged...

...she looked at me across the rapidly-dwindling pile of assorted junk...

...with a very serious expression on her face. " Ask me stuff."

Wow, I wasn't expecting that.

I shook my head and said with a smile, "We don't have to-"

...but then, I was momentarily distracted by what I saw...

...and, lunging over to the far side of the pile, I grabbed the huge pack of Yumalicious gum that was partially hidden under an oversized Nestle's Crunch bar.

After ripping it open with shaking hands...

...I unwrapped - and shoved - every single piece piece into my mouth...

...all twelve of them...

...and then I began to chew like there was no tomorrow.

Sam soon recovered from her surprise. "Hey! I bought that for myself!"

"Too late," I pointed out, my mouth full.

She was less than amused. "Well, yeah...but you didn't have to scarf the _whole_ pack...and besides...when do you _ever _chew gum?"

"I'm just in the mood today...okay?" I answered testily.

She tried to come up with a viable response.

She failed.

With a philosophical shrug, she answered, "Whatever. Now, where were we...oh yeah...ask me stuff."

"That's not necessary," I repeated.

"Yes it is," she insisted. "I need to practice."

I gave in. "Okay...can we...get the hard subjects out of the way first?"

She nodded. "I guess so."

I moved closer to where she sat. "Well then, why don't you tell me the end of last night's story...how did you manage to get away from that motherfucking asshole?"

She leaned against the headboard. "Oh, that...well, as soon as he had fallen off the bed, with both hands between his legs, I ran out my back door...naked, climbed the side yard fence...naked, and hid in the next door neighbor's bushes...naked. After about an hour of watching my front door through a crack between the fence slats, I saw him leave.

"When I _did _go back inside my bedroom, I found the French knife sticking out of my teddy bear's chest...and 'Don't forget' written on my pillow in ketchup," she finished...her voice trembling slightly.

Revisiting the memory obviously was upsetting her, so I decided not to pursue it. Besides, there didn't seem to be much more to tell anyway.

So...time to change the subject.

But...what to ask next?

Nothing immediately came to mind, but she was looking at me expectantly, so I asked, "Uh, what are you thinking?"

She smiled disarmingly. "I was just wondering if you would mind if I kissed you."

Without hesitation, I spit my enormous wad of gum across the room...

...and straight into the wastebasket near my desk...

...with unexpected - and impressive - accuracy...

...and, seconds later, I was holding out my arms, and her lips crashed into mine...

...and minutes later, I was pulling her down on top of me.

She hovered above me...

...with her legs lying directly on mine...

...and her upper-body weight balanced on her elbows...

...and then, I felt her fingers gently ensnaring themselves in my hair.

As I leaned up and kissed her neck...

...she gently lowered her upper body onto mine...

...and the weight of it pushing me down into the mattress made me feel so secure...

..._and_ so aroused...

...that I seductively slid my hands down her back...

...and then...

...down inside the back of her shorts.

As I did, I think I remember her thrusting her crotch downward against mine...

...but that's not what made the moment so memorable...

...what _did..._was the fact that I couldn't believe what I felt against my palms.

"Sam?"

She froze.

And suddenly, I knew what the weird expression on her face earlier had been about...

...and what the look on her face now meant...

...that she had forgotten.

To my surprise, she put up no resistance as I moved her over onto her back...

...and then moved my hand down inside the front of her shorts...

...but she gasped...

...and I gasped...

...because now there was absolutely no mistaking what I felt.

"Sam...are you..._are you wearing my panties?_"

"Arrgh!" She yelled, covering her ears.

Even though the hard (soft(?) evidence was right there under my probing fingers, I still found it hard to believe. "Why would you be wearing panties...unless...do you have your period?" I slid my hand lower to check. (She didn't.)

I realized that she couldn't hear me, so I used my free hand to uncover her ears...

...and then I repeated the question.

"No...not yet...not for another a day or two," she admitted.

"Then why are you wearing my-"

"Don't say it!" she yelled. "Because.._.all_ of my boxers are in the wash...but, don't worry, Spencer is on top of it. When I was downstairs he said to leave all of our dirty laundry in the hall...and that he'll get started on it early this afternoon."

She hesitated...

...and then pointed downward. "If...if _this_ is a problem...I could just 'go commando' until then," she finished.

I shook my head. "No way. You're not taking those off anytime soon."

She looked back at me in confusion. "Uh...why not?"

I gave her a Very Meaningful Look. "Because...I _like_ them on you."

She blushed crimson. "R-really?"

"Yes, silk panties...

"Arrgh!"

"...on a girl are so sexy. Why do you think they're the only kind I have?"

"Well, I...uh...no idea," she admitted.

I raised an eyebrow. "And what do you think the knowledge that you're wearing them right now is doing to me?"

"Well, I...uh...no idea," she confessed.

"Don't worry, Sam...you're about to find out," I declared.

And, before she could respond...

...I was straddling her thighs...

...and my shaking hands were fumbling with her zipper...

...and then, as I started to slide her baggy shorts down past her hips...

...she grabbed both of my wrists. "No...don't look!"

"Why not? I know what my panties-

"Argh!"

"...look like."

"No...I don't want you to see!" she insisted.

"Why not, Sam...are you..._embarrassed_?" I asked...

...with a knowing smile.

She stuttered her next four sentences - so badly - that to this day, I have no idea what she said.

"Come on," I urged, "Let me! I've already seen you _completely _naked!"

I watched as she turned an even deeper shade of crimson. "Yeah but-"

"Yeah... but _what?_" I demanded.

"This is...d-different."

"How is it different?"

No response.

I smiled widely...

...and moved her hands aside. "Okay...whatever. So...guess what I'm going to do to you..._right now_?"

"Aw...come on, Carls...not _that!_ I just took a shower!"

I shrugged indifferently. "So? Afterward you can take another one."

"But-"

I laid my fingers across her lips. "Sam...I'm about to make you an offer that you can't refuse."

She moved them away. "Oh, yeah? Don't bet on it," she scoffed.

Smiling confidently, despite her pessimism, I got up off the bed...

...but soon returned...

...and when she saw what was in my hand, she shook her head in disbelief. "Your electric bill is going to be at least triple this month."

"Yeah...you're right," I replied, setting Buzz aside. "So maybe we should wait for a week...or two...or maybe even longer..._much_ long-"

(Wisely) deciding to quit while she was ahead...

...she grabbed my wrists...

...dragged me down on top of her...

...and then grabbed my backside...

...but I had an entirely different agenda...

...so I rolled over...

...and dragged her body down onto mine.

Looking up, I whispered co-conspiratorially, "Wanna know the best part about wearing silk panties?"

"Argh!"

"I'll take that as a 'yes'," I replied calmly. "It's when I do..._this_."

I easily slid my both of my hands down inside the back of her unzipped shorts...

...and then began gliding them, slowly and sensually, up and down her slippery, silk-covered backside.

"Uhh..._uhhh!_" she moaned...

...eyes closed...

...and head thrown back.

"Fun, huh?" I reiterated.

She didn't answer.

She couldn't.

I ceased caressing her.

"I...uhh...hey! Why'd you stop?" she demanded.

I raised an eyebrow. "Because that's nothing compared to how much fun it is when I...

I rapidly rolled her over onto her back.

"...when I do..._this!_"

And, grabbing both of her knees...

...I spread her legs far apart...

...and then slid my right hand far down inside her shorts...

...and began trailing my fingertips teasingly over her silk-covered vagina...

...and I watched, both aroused and amused...

...as she completely lost her mind.

"Uh..._uhhh_..._Carls! Oh, God...UHHH!_"

"Told you you'd like it," I informed her, with a smile of smug superiority...

...as her hips shifted jerkily under my ministrations.

As I slid my fingers up and down, I notice that...

….the crotch of her panties was still dry...

...but that was, most definitely, about to change...

...in a very big way...

...very soon.

I lifted my fingers slightly...

...and her hips immediately jerked upward to meet them...

...so I raised my fingers even higher...

...and she whimpered in frustrated disappointment. "Please...don't stop!" she begged.

"Why? Do you mean you _like_ what I'm doing to you, Sam?" I inquired in mock surprise.

Her head was tilted far upward...

...and so were her hips...

...but she didn't respond verbally.

"I''ll take that as a 'no'," I announced...

...beginning to withdraw my hand from her shorts...

...but she quickly grabbed my wrist...

...and shoved my hand back down inside...

...while using her other hand on the outside of her shorts to press my fingers tightly against her...

...while jerking her hips forward and upward against them...

...repeatedly...

...and violently.

"Easy," I whispered, putting my free hand on her pelvis...

...and gently lowering it back onto the mattress...

...but she had other ideas...

...and closed her legs around my other hand...

...squeezing her thighs together tightly...

...over and over...

...forcing my fingers to press against her...

...repeatedly...

...and roughly.

I moved my other hand between her lower thighs...

...preventing her from closing them again...

...and she looked up at me in profound disappointment.

I leaned closer. "Tell me what you want," I whispered...

...but before she could answer...

...my phone rang.

I looked at her...

...questioningly...

...and, after a long sigh, she nodded. "Go ahead...it's been ages since anyone's called you."

As she waited in polite silence...

...I grabbed my phone off the nightstand and answered it.

"Hi! Really? You are? So, how was...oh, sorry you're too busy to talk right now...tonight? Both of us? What time? Sure, we'd love to! Okay...see you then. Bye."

Barely had I hung up, when I glanced over at Sam...

...who was looking back at me disapprovingly. "You_ know_ you're not supposed to go out yet," she reminded me sternly.

I smiled indulgently. "Don't worry...we're not going far...just across the hall."

Her lower jaw dropped...

...almost down to the mattress. "NO FUCKING WAY!"

"Yes. Tonight. At six-thirty."

"No...they couldn't...they didn't..._they aren't!_" she spluttered.

"Yes, they could...they did..._and they are_. They're back from Lancaster, Pennsylvania," I confirmed.

Her hands flew to her hips. "You're not going...and neither am I!" she announced obnoxiously.

"Oh, yes we are," I stated calmly...

...but...

...predictably...

...she wasn't going down without a fight. "_I_ _Refuse! _And if you try to drag me out the door, I'll...I'll-"

I raised my eyebrows in amusement. "You'll..._what_, Sam?"

She hesitated...

...but only for a second. "I'll...I'll activate the cyanide capsule that's in my molar...you'll never get me over there alive!"

I exhaled in exasperation. "Sam, stop being so theatrical...We're Going."

"But-"

"Tonight."

"But-"

"At six-thirty, sharp."

"But-"

I shot her_ The Look._

She sighed. "We're going."

The knowledge of her impending doom (at least for an evening) immediately and absolutely killed any further thoughts of romance in Sam; so I spent the rest of the afternoon parked in front of the TV, forcing her to watch Girly Cow - non-stop - to keep her mind off cyanide-induced suicide...or something far worse:

...of bumping _me_ off _first_.

Shortly after we'd finished lunch, Spencer, as promised, loaded a large hand truck (borrowed from Socko), with nine baskets of grungy clothes (ours and his) and headed to the basement. Since only two of our basement laundry room's washing machines are currently working (Thank you, Lewbert for staying on top of this) _and _we have to share those with over a hundred other residents, I didn't expect him back before midnight...

...but, much to my surprise, just as Sam and I were heading upstairs to get ready for dinner, he actually returned...

...with nine baskets of clean and neatly-folded clothes.

"Wow...how did you finish so quickly?" I asked.

"By eliminating the competition," he answered, smiling widely. "I had the entire laundry room to myself."

"And how did you manage that?" Sam asked him skeptically.

"With this," he exclaimed proudly, picking up a huge sign from one of the top baskets and holding it out toward us.

We leaned forward and read it.

_Due to the current, profuse infestation of Freakishly-Huge, Rabid and Mangy Rats (with well-documented histories of Mental Illness), this laundry room is closed until further notice._

There was no mistaking the handwriting.

It was Spencer's.

"I tacked it to the laundry room door...and everyone else in the building spent the entire afternoon avoiding that place like the plague!" he announced gleefully.

Sam pointed to the couch, and announced grimly, "Sit down, Spencer Shay...you're about to get a four hour-long lecture on the evils of ly-"

"Oh, no he's not!" I declared, grabbing her arm and dragging her, easily (despite her enthusiastic verbal and physical resistance), over to the elevator.

"Wait...your laundry!" Spencer yelled.

As he loaded all seven baskets onto the elevator, I turned to her. "Nice try...but you're _still _going!"

At this proclamation, she slumped against the elevator wall and began mumbling something...I don't know exactly what...but I'm pretty sure I caught the words 'fist' and 'jaw', before the doors opened.

As she hauled the last basket into the bedroom and set it in the corner next to the others, I approached her and laid a hand on her arm.

"Sam, promise me that you won't say _anything_ to them about my 'plumbing problems'...or my surgery...or any of it..._ever_."

She looked hurt. "Of course I promise," she assured me...

...and then turned back to the laundry baskets.

"S-sam?"

She turned back to face me. "Yeah?"

I hesitated. " Can you...um...uh...can you...see my pad?"

"For the fifth time..._no_!"

"Well, then...look closer."

She rolled her eyes. "Carls,_ come on!"_

"No _you _come on!" I insisted. "You know I hate wearing these things! And I don't want anybody to know that I have one on-"

Exasperated, she reached down and grabbed my hips with both hands, and then bent forward, until her eyeballs were two inches from my crotch. "You could hide a cannon ball in those baggy sweat pants and nobody would know," she declared.

"Okay, okay. I believe you," I answered (even though I didn't really).

I turned to the mirror. Yep, still obviously, embarrassingly,_ incredibly _visible...

...but, before I could ask her a _sixth_ time...

...I noticed that she had suddenly disappeared...

...and, from the sounds I heard coming from the opposite side of the room, I could tell that she was now busily rummaging in my closet.

Moments later, she walked over to where I was standing and held something out to me.

I looked down.

It was a baseball cap.

"Wear it," she advised.

I frowned. "Why should I...when we're only going across the hal-"

She was staring at me in disbelief...

...like a had an IQ of Seven. "Because...it beats the alternative of being chased around the living room by Mrs. Benson, brandishing her magnifying glass and tick comb...or have you forgotten our last visit?"

I_ had_ forgotten.

"Good point," I was forced to concede...

...and, without further argument, I put it on...

...as she put one on herself.

Ten minutes later, as we were standing outside Freddie's door, she turned toward me...

...and fell to her knees. "I'll go to church every Sunday! I'll swear off Fat Cakes...for at least a week! I'll scrub the bathroo-"

"Nice try," I said...

...as unconvincingly as I possibly could...

...in my most bored tone of voice...

...as I reached down and slid my hand under her armpits.

I hoisted her to her feet...

...and, keeping a vice-like grip on the back of her sweatshirt with one hand...

...I knocked with my other...

...and, less than a tenth of a second later...

...Freddie flung the door open.

"Carly!" He squealed...

"...and Sam," he mumbled.

Spreading his arms wide...

...he turned to me...

...hoping for a chance to grope, uh...I mean to _hug _me.

Determined not to allow him to get his mitts on me this time...

...for a change...

...I quickly and expertly maneuvered Sam between myself and him...

...with such force that I accidentally almost propelled her directly into his arms...

...and, while ignoring her pointed remarks about what she was going to do to me, in retaliation, as soon as there were no witnesses...

...I slipped past them both and into the apartment...

...dragging Sam after me...

...keeping her securely positioned, all the while, between Freddie and myself.

Closing the door, he turned back to face us...

…still gazing in that adoring, love-sick, sappy way of his...

...and Sam, obviously thinking that his lame longing might be directed at her, suddenly, forcefully and rapidly yanked her shirt free of my fist and jumped away from me...

...and, at that moment, I realized - to my horror - that my human shield...

...my first and last line of defense...

...had abandoned me...

...and that there was now _nothing but empty air_ between me and my Unwanted Love Slave...

...which meant, without a doubt...

...that all hope was now gone.

Because, even though Freddie swears that he's over me...

...his eyes tell a completely different story.

As he approached me, arms outstretched and eyes beseeching, I cringed...

...looking pleadingly over at Sam...

...begging her, wordlessly, to rescue me...

...but she just glared back at me...

...ominously...

...and then stretched out the couch...

...with her hands behind her head...

...watching us with detached non-nonchalance...

...apparently beginning the sadistic revenge that she'd sworn to moments before.

Heart plummeting, I slowly turned back to Freddie...

..._cursing_ myself for not bringing along the TASER that Spencer had bought me last Christmas...

.._.kicking_ myself for ignoring his pleas to carry it with me always...

.._.Hating Myself_ for laughing off his prediction that I'd most definitely need it someday.

Expecting the worst...

...I braced myself...

...and prayed for Spencer's Rabid and Mangy Rats to intervene and attack me...

...an event which would be far preferable to the one that was about to occur.

His greeting was enthusiastic...

...and incredibly painful.

Lunging forward and closing the last few inches that separated us...

...he reached up...

...took my face between his hands...

...and then, proceeded to caress...

.._.and scratch_ _the hell out of..._

_..._my cheeks...

...with his heavily-calloused palms.

"Ow! Freddie!"

"I know, darling, I know! My heart lurched painfully when I first saw you, too!" he gushed...

...thrusting his face forward...

...and his lips toward mine.

In a last-ditch effort to avoid aggravated sexual assault, I jumped back...

...as quickly and as far as I could...

...immediately (and inadvertently) slamming..._violently_...into the wall behind me. "Ow! Fucking Hell! Damn it, Freddie...can't you go lust after Sam for awhile? We all know that you want to-" I stopped abruptly...

...when, from the corner of my eye, I saw the look on her face...

...and immediately made a mental note to hide any and all sharp objects in my place...

...the minute we walked back in there...

...if I lived long enough to walk back in there, I thought, with a gulp...

...as she leaped up off the couch...

...and turned toward me.

Fully aware that the next five seconds could very well be my last...

...I jumped behind Freddie...

...which only enraged her more.

With a stare of homicidal determination, she stormed across the room. "Carlotta Taylor Shay...I'm gonna-"

Suddenly, she stopped, mid-step...

...and mid sentence...

...and then, she pivoted slowly...

...turning her face and body in the direction of the kitchen.

And then...

...to my shock and horror...

...she bent over, clutching her stomach. "Oh, God...Oh My God!" she blurted out...

...in an alarmingly-strangled voice.

"Sam? Sam are you oka-" I gasped in alarm...

...but, just as suddenly, and without warning, she straightened up...

...staggered across the living room...

...dived behind Freddie...

...grabbed my arm...

...and dragged me over near the kitchen door.

Grabbing the back of my head firmly, she turned it in the direction of the source of her recent distress.

I sniffed.

She sniffed.

I choked.

She gagged.

And then, we turned to each other...

...in nauseous, gut-wrenching horror.

I spun around to face Freddie. "Something smells...uh..._interesting_," I ventured.

He beamed. "Yeah, Mom's in the laundry room right now...I guess the exterminator finished off the rats, because the infestation sign is down. Anyway, when she heard that you had accepted our invitation, she decided to make her specialty."

"Oh no," I gasped, "n-not-"

"Yes!" he confirmed...

...gleefully...

..."Luau lentil loaf!"

At this pronouncement...

...Sam snatched the baseball cap off my head...

...and pretended to barf into it...

...before setting it back on my head...

...and grinding the top of it, meaningfully, against my scalp...

...while staring at me with murder in her eyes.

As anxiety for (and serious doubt as to) my future well-being engulfed me...

...like a Pacific-wide tsunami...

...I attempted (and utterly failed) to diffuse the situation by pulling her own cap down over her face.

"Sam," I began, in what I sincerely hoped was a jovial tone, "you're getting all bent out of shape over noth-"

She stared at me...stunned...

...before grabbing the front of my sweat-jacket and dragging my face to hers. "But you heard what he just said!" she blurted out, "It's-"

"I heard what he said," I replied in a low voice. "Don't worry, we'll just load up on salad...and then say that we're too full to-"

I stopped and turned to Freddie. "We _are_ having a salad course first...aren't we?"

He smiled reassuringly. "Of course we are...Mom made her favorite salad...braised lettuce!"

Heart sinking, I turned back to Sam...

...whose face had suddenly turned an alarming shade of green. "I hate braised lettuce!" she exclaimed in disgust. "It has the consistency of _snot!_"

She rounded on me. "How the hell are we gonna get out of this one?" she hissed.

"No idea," I admitted.

(If looks could kill.)

I tried to grab her hand. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm_ so_ sor..."

...but she flung herself down onto the couch in a huff.

Freddie fell down beside her...

...and proceeded to smile at her like an idiot...

...and I was both terrified (for him) and relieved (for me) when I saw the way he was staring at her.

Good! The geek has been chasing me, non-stop, for the past four years...so let _her_ take a turn!

"Well, Sam, what did you do on your summer vacation...knock over a few liquor stores?" he asked...

...pleasantly.

Instead of answering...

...she glared back at him...

...with homicidal hatred in her eyes...

...as she shot out of the corner of her mouth...

...through gritted teeth...

"How was life among the Amish?"

His pathetic, love-crazed demeanor immediately changed to one of haunted torment.

"It was horrible! Forced to live three thousand miles away from the girls I lov- I mean...uh...not being able to do the show all summer! Having to go to prayer meetings twice a day! Having to read Scripture every evening...in German...by kerosene lamp!"

Sam stared at him with rapt attention...

...looking far happier than I've ever seen her within these four walls.

"Go on, Freddunce...please_ do_ go on!" she urged.

"You can't imagine how awful it was!" he reiterated.

"No, Freddork," she announced eagerly, "we can't...so please enlighten us! Tell us _all_ about it...every single, excruciatingly-horrifying detail!"

His lower lip began trembling. "Th-they actually make you work at back-breaking labor...from sun-up until sundown! In the blazing heat! While wearing long, scratchy wool underwear! I-I-"

He obviously was only seconds away from bursting into tears...

...so, even though Sam appeared to be having the time of her life...

...I decided to pull the plug on his pain...

...and her joy.

I turned back to him. "So, Freddie, your mom mentioned that she was considering the two of you moving into the Amish community permanently. What made her change her mind?"

"You want the truth?" he asked apprehensively.

"Yes...of course," I assured him.

He cringed, apologetically, as he began, "Well...she originally decided for us to move there because..."

He stopped.

"Go ahead...we'd really like to know," I encouraged him.

"...because of _you_, Carly," he stated.

My jaw dropped...

...but, before I could splutter a response...

...he continued. "She told me that she wanted me to meet sweet, simple girls...not wild ones...like you!"

The smile rapidly slid from Sam's face, and she stared at him in open-mouthed disbelief. "Carly? Wild? She doesn't smoke, drink, do drugs, _or_ sleep around! How could_ anyone _call Carly wild?" she demanded.

Just as he opened his mouth to answer...

...the front door opened...

...and Mrs. Benson walked in...

...and her eyes immediately clamped onto mine...

...and, setting her basket of laundry on the floor near the door...

...she sprinted across the living room, over to the couch...

...stopping directly in front of me...

...but, before I could vault over the back of it...

...in a feeble attempt to prolong my cruelly-short life for a few additional, precious seconds...

...she reached down...

...took my face between both of her (mercilessly uncalloused) hands...

...and began kissing me...

...enthusiastically and repeatedly. "Carly...darling! It's so good to see you again, dear!"..she gushed...

...as I sat...

...motionless, speechless, and stunned.

Two minutes later, when she finally released me and was saying a curt 'hello' to Sam...

...I stared at Freddie...

...in both shock and disbelief...

...silently demanding an explanation.

Eager to appease, he mouthed something...

...but unfortunately...I have_ zero _lip-reading skills.

Mrs. B. settled down beside me on the couch...waaaay too close for my liking...and I shot an uneasy glance over at Sam.

She returned it, both of us obviously sharing the same, awful thought...

...it's gonna be a loooong night.

"So, what did I miss?" Mrs. Benson asked eagerly.

Immediately, all eyes turned to me.

Fuck.

"Well," I began, "Freddie was just telling us about your, uh...adventures...living among the Amish."

The smile fled from her face. "Never again, do you hear me...never again!" she yelled, raising her fist, in a manner reminiscent of Scarlett O'Hara's impassioned oath to avoid any and all future hunger pangs.

Sam looked at Mrs. B. with almost-convincing sympathy. " Aw, it can't have been that bad! I'm sure if you'll just give it another try.._.right away_...then I'll bet you'll be _thrilled_ to settle down..._all the way out there_...forev-"

"No! We're never going back there..._never!_ It was a Living Hel-...uh...I mean a Living _Heck_!" Mrs. Benson declared shrilly.

Sam shook her head. "Now, now...I'm sure that it was actually very pleasant," she insisted, with tenacity (one of her more admirable talents). "Just remember how _lovely_ Lancaster County is! All that peace and quiet! All that clean, smog-free air! All that yummy, homemade ham and bac-"

"You have no idea how horrible it was!" Mrs. Benson gasped, in a manner suggesting that she was dangerously close to hyperventilating. "Those people have no sense of fashion...I look _absolutely __atrocious_ in bonnets!"

Sam's face fell. "Yes, but-"

"And all that greasy, artery-clogging food!" Mrs. B. continued. "I couldn't have found a fat-free, soy latte if my life depended on it!"

Sam leaned forward. "Yes, but-"

"But that was nothing compared to my fears for my darling Freddie's safety! You wouldn't believe the reckless, life-endangering things they expected him to do!"

Sam shook her head and began in a calm, consoling tone, "You must be mistaken...I'm sure that milking a few cows never hurt anyone-"

Mrs. Benson flung her torso across my lap, grabbed Sam's shoulders, and dragged her close until their faces were mere inches apart...

...right in front of mine.

"How can you say that! He could have been kicked! And that wasn't the worst of it! But, no matter how severely they lectured me, I absolutely refused to let him participate in their deadly...Barn Raisings!"

"Mom! I-" Freddie began.

She let go of Sam and turned to him...

...enraged. "Don't you 'Mom' me!" she snapped...

...but he wasn't finished. "Come on...it wasn't _that _dangerous...it's not like they asked me to actually climb up the-"

"It doesn't matter!" she shouted. "You know as well as I do that you could have been hit by falling hammers!"

Confused, I turned to Freddie. "So, if you weren't allowed to do construction, then where did all those calluses on your hands come from?"

Immediately, he looked down at the rug...

...but Mrs. Benson answered for him. "From sweeping up sawdust at end of day, and from scrubbing the outhouse toilets...without gloves or a brush."

As I watched, his head plummeted...

...until his face hit his palms with a resounding _smack_...

...but before I could find the right words to console him in his humiliation...

...Sam leaned across me again.

She obviously wasn't going to let this go until she had exhausted every single option. "Well, even if you won't allow him near the barn raisings, I'm sure there are lots of other jobs he could d-"

"You don't understand!" Mrs. Benson exclaimed, wringing her hands. "That's _still _not the worst of it! The Amish don't embrace, condone, or even_ allow_ technology! In order to join, we had to give up our cell phones..._and_ our Pearberries...which meant that I had no way to call Freddie every fifteen minutes to check up on him! I was baking pies...from dawn 'til dusk...all day, every day...not knowing, from one moment to the next, if my son was even alive!"

Once again, Sam opened her mouth...

...but, this time, no sound came out...

...and, with an expression of depressed resignation on her face...

...she fell back against her sofa cushion.

She was defeated...

...and she knew it.

Suddenly, Mrs. Benson got a grip on her run-amuck emotions. "I'm so sorry, my dears...I have guests, and we should be chatting about pleasant subjects...like dinner! I hope you're both hungry."

At these words, I felt Sam's murderous glare...

_...searing _the back of my neck.

Apparently unaware that neither Sam nor I had answered her question, Mrs. Benson continued, "Anyway, both the salad and the entree are my specialties."

At _these_ words, I distinctly heard drawn-out (and genuine) retching sounds coming from behind me...

...from Sam's end of the couch

Mrs. Benson remained oblivious to it all. "And, since I put the lettuce in the oven to braise a little over four hours ago, dinner should be ready in about-"

She stopped speaking and looked down at her left wrist.

It was bare.

She frowned. "Oh, drat! Now what _did_ I do with my watch-oh, now I remember." She turned to Freddie. "I left it in the basement, on the laundry room sink, while I was hand-washing your 'unmentionables'."

At this, Sam snorted in laughter, but at a glance from Mrs. B., she managed to pass it off as a sneeze.

"Are you coming down with something dear?" she asked Sam worriedly. "Because, if you are, I have a full quart of cod liver oil in the bath-"

Cringing, I turned around to face Sam...

...who was staring at me...

...with homicidal expectancy.

"Mrs. Benson," I (rapidly) spoke up, "Sam's fine...she's just allergic to...uh...uh...

My eyes darted around the room...

...and landed on a tray of cleaning supplies "...to feather dusters!"

"Not a problem dear...I'll just put that away," Mrs. Benson replied, with a smile, hopping up off the couch.

Seconds later, Sam was hissing in my ear, "Man, you owe me!"

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm _so_ sor-..." I stopped abruptly...

...as Mrs. Benson returned. "Now, where were we?" she asked with a smile, settling back onto the couch...

...annoyingly close to me.

"We were just discussing your watch," I reminded her. "It's a Trollex...and those can be _very_ expensive." (I didn't mention the fact that _hers_ was actually - and obviously - a cheap knock-off...and that...whatever she had paid for it...it was definitely too much.)

Instead, I looked at her with 'grave concern'. "It would be a _real shame_ if someone...stole it!"

"You're right," she agreed. "That watch was a gift from Freddie's father...a beautiful and expensive expression of his undying love for...for..."

At this memory, she became too teary-eyed to continue.

After nearly a minute of erratic sobbing, she added, "I-I'll run downstairs and get it...and as soon as I come back, I'm sure that dinner will be just about ready."

As she was halfway out the door, I spoke up. "Mrs. Benson...I'm kind of thirsty, so while you're gone, will it be okay if I get a glass of water from the kitchen?"

"Of course dear," she replied, "but be sure to use a glass from the _white_ dish rack...because those are the ones that I've already sterilized. I'm sorry if they reek of bleach...but you can't be too careful!"

I nodded.

She left.

Freddie immediately jumped to his feet. "I'll get it for you, Car-" he began enthusiastically...

...but Sam reached up...

...grabbed a fistful of shirttail, and...

...yanking him back onto the couch...

...immediately began to grill him. "There has to be _something_ your mom didn't hate about that place!"

Ten minutes later, as I returned from the kitchen...

...Sam whipped her head around in my direction. "Well, _you_ took your jolly time!" she observed bitterly.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

She rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Well, it looks like we're stuck with Freddie again...but try not to vomit on the rug!"

I shot her a disapproving look; but before I could admonish her for her rudeness...

...Mrs. Benson walked in...waving her (cheap, knock-off) watch in triumph. "What a relief...it was right where I left it! Now, if you'll just excuse me a minute, I'll go check on dinner. I can smell lentils from here, so it's probably time to take the entree out of the oven."

She disappeared into the kitchen.

Freddie turned back to me. "I've been looking forward to producing the show again...and while I was away, I came up with a whole bunch of new ideas...so when do you think we should schedule the next episode of iCar-"

He stopped suddenly...

...and we all jumped...

...as we heard the deafening crash coming from the kitchen.

But before we were on our feet...

...Mrs. Benson hurried into the room...

...her white sweater splattered, liberally, with slimy, brown goo.

"Nothing to worry about, dears," she announced, in a slightly shaky voice. "I lost my grip on the loaf pan and and it landed on the floor. How klutzy of me!"

"Gee that's sure too bad," Sam replied, in an embarrassingly-unconvincing tone...

...which Mrs. B. seemed not to hear. "Anyway, I made enough braised lettuce for at least six people, so we'll just have that for dinner. But first, I have to clean up the kitchen. Freddie, did you buy paper towels this afternoon...like I asked you to?"

"Yes," he replied. "Both rolls are in the bathroom...in the cabinet under the sink."

With a curt nod, she turned and headed briskly toward the bathroom.

Freddie turned back to me.

After a long, awkward silence, he stated, "Anyway, as I was saying, I came up with enough new skit ideas for at least six shows...so, do you think we should schedule the next episode of iCarly for the Friday after nex-"

He was cut off by the ear-splitting, blood-curdling scream coming from the bathroom.

And, as we all sat, stunned and motionless...

...Mrs. Benson hurtled out of the bathroom...

...and swooped down over the couch...

...directly above Freddie.

Seconds later, I lowered my gaze from her furious face...

...to what she was holding...

...as she extended her left hand. "Fredward Benson! What is_ this?_"

"A p-piece of d-dental floss he replied," his voice shaking.

She thrust her right hand forward. "And what is _this?_"

"Your f-fully-extended, steel t-tape m-measure," he stated nervously.

She held the two items side by side...

...inches from his face. "And _what's wrong with this picture?_" she demanded loudly.

"Please, Mom, n-not in front of-" he began.

"_Answer Me!_" she shrieked.

"Okay, okay! The floss is only...seven feet, nine inches long...

She glared at him, silently and expectantly.

"...instead of the twelve feet that I'm supposed to use," he added with a sigh.

"Do you want all of your teeth to fall out?" she demanded.

"No, Mom."

"Do you want to have to eat nothing but pureed oatmeal for the rest of your life?"

"No, Mom."

"Do you want to have a smile so hideous that not even _Sam_ would go out with you?"

(I grabbed the back of her shorts just in time.)

"No, Mom."

"Well then...you just march back into the bathroom right now, young man...and I'm going to stand there and watch while you floss your teeth _all over again_...with an entire one hundred and forty-four inches this time!"

As she hauled him to his feet...

...he groaned...

...and she heard. "What was that?"

"N-noth-"

"_Oh, yes it was!"_ she bellowed. "One more sarcastic remark from you...and you'll find yourself going to bed early this evening."

"No, Mom...not that!" he begged.

"You heard me, Mister...at _seven forty-five_, instead of your usual eight-fifteen!" she declared.

"No, Mom...I ow!" he yelled...

...as she dragged him, arms flailing, down the hallway and toward the bathroom...

...by his ear.

Both Sam and I looked at each other...

...and smiled broadly...

...as we both realized, simultaneously, that...

...this could take awhile.

"Uh, Mrs. Benson," I called down the hall...

"...I'm sorry we showed up at such a bad time...

"...so we'll be going now...

"...and we'll let ourselves out...

"...but if you'd ever like to invite us over again...

(Sam shot me a murderous look.)

(I ignored her.)

"...we'll be happy to take a rain-check."

"But what about dinner, dear?" Mrs. Benson called back.

"Uh...after all the boiled-cabbage-and-liver stew that Spencer made us eat for lunch we're, uh, not really that hungry right now," I replied...

...inventing wildly.

"Alright honey," she answered, "at least I can sleep soundly tonight, knowing that you've both had a decent, nutritious meal. So, you two run along, and I'll call you in a few days."

As the revelation of our imminent emancipation dawned on Sam...

...she fell to her knees...

...and, wrapping her arms around mine...

...she looked up at me...

...in silent, profound gratitude...

...until I pulled off her cap...

...and swatted her over her head with it.

Hard.

Less than five minutes later, we were sneaking out the Bensons' apartment...

...and, less than a minute after that, we found ourselves safely back across the hall...

...in lentil-free territory!

As soon as Sam had closed the door behind us _and _had triple-locked it, she leaned against it and exhaled in relief. "Boy, Carls, it was lucky for us that her crappy entree landed on the floor!"

I smiled indulgently. "Sam, my darling...luck had nothing to do with it."

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

I walked over and stood almost nose to nose with her. "Remember when I went to kitchen to 'get a glass of water'?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, believe it or not...I lied! I wasn't thirsty at all! Instead, while I was in there, I covered the entire outside of her loaf pan..._liberally..._with cooking spray...so when she tried to pick it up with her Teflon oven mitts, she'd drop it...and she did!"

For almost a full minute, she stared at me, in stunned, open-mouthed admiration...

...but finally, she found her voice. "Brilliant! Carls...you are an absolute genius!"

I beamed. "Hey, Sam...Who _Da Man_?"

"_You_, Cupcake! You are most definitely _Da Man_...not to mention amazingly devious, resourceful, sneaky, underhan-"

I took a step closer. "Well then, will you forgive me for dragging you into that mess?"

"I'll forgive you...but not for that," she replied...

...with a wicked smile.

I had to think about it for a minute...

...but then, I realized exactly what she meant.

"So, let's raid my fridge," I suggested.

"I'm looking forward to it," she began...

...but then...she looked down...

...and I followed her line of vision...

...and we both smiled widely.

"Oh, and Carls...I can't wait for breakfast!"

I leaned forward and gave her a fast kiss. "Neither can I, Sam...neither can I!"

Fortunately, before Spencer left for the evening, he had made dinner...

...and, less than twenty minutes later, we were tearing into roast chicken, and pasta primavera salad...

...both of which Sam was shoveling into her face with alarming speed.

"How's everything?" I asked...

...hoping that the need to reply to my question would slow her down a bit.

It didn't.

"Excellent so far," she replied, her mouth full...

...as her hand darted forward...

...toward the salad dressing cruet...

...but accidentally hit the nearly-full pitcher of iced tea...

...tipping it over...

...and sending its entire contents spilling across the table...

...and directly into her lap.

She jumped to her feet. "Shit! Sorry, Carls!"

"It's okay," I assured her as I stood up. "I'll just make some more...right after I clean up this mess."

"I'll help," she offered quickly.

"Oh, no you won't!" I informed her. "You go straight upstairs and take a shower...and put all your clothes in a sink full of cold water before the stain sets."

"But...but...I _really_ want to help clean up," she insisted...

...but, as she said it, I noticed that her eyes weren't on the huge pool of tea...

...they were on the huge platter of chocolate cupcakes sitting next to it.

Wordlessly, I took two cupcakes for myself...

...and then held the plate out to her.

She snatched it and ran upstairs.

Almost an hour later...

...she was standing by my kitchen chair...

...freshly showered, fully dressed in clean clothes, and looking guilty. "I forgot...you shouldn't be walking around without m-" she began.

I shook my head. "I'm fine."

She nodded...

...but still insisted on carrying me to the elevator.

I didn't bother to argue...

...because I knew that she did it out of love.

Entering the bedroom, she kicked the door closed behind us and carried me over to the bed. She set me down, and I removed my arms from around her neck and let her undress me...

...down to my panties.

"Nightshirt?" she asked.

I shook my head. "Oh, and speaking of clothes, did you put yours in the sink to soak...like I told you to?"

She nodded. "Yes...absolutely everything's in there...including my sneakers!"

With a satisfied nod, I lay down on my back.

She lay down next to me on her side...

...watching me in silence...

...as I played with her still-damp hair...

...which smelled deliciously of my coconut shampoo...

...while trying to decipher what I saw in her eyes.

I couldn't.

Finally, I had to ask. "So, what are you thinking about?"

She smiled cryptically and shook her head.

"Please?" I asked...

...very, very politely.

In response, she rolled over onto her stomach...

...and began kissing my upper abdomen...

...right below my rib cage...

...slowly and sensually...

...doing the most incredible things to it, first with her lips...

...and then with her tongue...

...sending shivers cascading down both of my legs...

..._and down between them._

I gently placed both of my hands on the back of her head...

...tangling my fingers in her hair...

...and, seconds later, I felt my breath catch in my throat...

...as she slowly began kissing her way down my stomach...

...moving lower and lower...

...and then...

...even though I was _well aware_ _that I_ _shouldn't_...

...I opened my legs.

Immediately, I regretted it...

...because, even though my bleeding had begun to slow down...

...it was still _far_ from being over...

...and, considering the way her mouth was caressing me...

...there was no absolutely question as to what was on her mind.

I was so scared that she was going to pull my panties down...

...any second...

...but, instead, she kissed her way down the outside of them...

...stopping directly over my vagina.

Not looking up, she said, voice trembling, "I...I...can't wait until I...can-"

She faltered.

"I know, honey...I know...neither can I," I assured her.

She nodded and wrapped her arms around my thighs...

...as she rested her cheek against the lowest part of my lower abdomen.

I hesitated before asking the next question...

...but not for long. "Sam...can I ask...uh..."

Before I could finish, she was looking up at me...

...in fear.

"No, not _that!_" I said quickly. "I wasn't thinking that at all! Not until...you know...not until everything is...completely okay."

She nodded...

...obviously relieved. "But then...I'd _really like to_," she said...

...and I smiled. "I'd really like it, too. What I _was _thinking was...I...if you want me to...I could...uh...you know...maybe..._to you_...if you..."

My voice trailed off...

...but she knew exactly what I meant.

"Are you...sure you want to, Carls?" she asked...

...nervously.

"Very, very sure," I replied...

...looking directly into her eyes.

"Uh...uh-" she began.

I waited...

...but that's all she said.

I smiled reassuringly. "Sam...I'd really like to...right now...if you'll let me."

Instead of giving - or denying - permission...

...she averted her eyes...

...and shrugged.

I reached down and took her hand. "Is it because...because of...what hap-"

She shook her head. "It's just that...well, can we wait until we can...you know...do it..._together?_"

I wasn't sure that she meant it.

"Sam, I won't..._not ever_...if you don't want me to. Just tell me-"

"No, it's not that. I...w-want-" She stopped and bit her lip.

I reached down and lifted her eyes to mine. "Are you sure? Because we don't have to if you-"

She crawled up my body. "I-"

She hung her head...

...and it was nearly a minute later before she continued, "I want to...and I promise we will...can we just...you know...wait a little while?"

I pulled her close. "Of course we can...but, can I ask you something?"

"Y-yes."

"Do you want to wait for...more than one reason?" I asked softly.

She hesitated...

...and then slowly nodded. "B-but, when _you_ can do it...if you'll go first...then..._right after_...I'll let you...do it to me. I promise."

"Are you...sure, Sam?"

She sat up and lifted her eyes to mine. "I pr-promise. But...w-will you g-go first?"

I smiled. "I promise," I assured her...

...and I held out my arms.

She moved back into them, and held onto me...

...so tightly.

"C-carls?"

"Yes?"

"I w-want to promise you something else."

"What, sweetheart?"

"I, uh, promise that, I, uh-"

"Go ahead, Sam...whatever it is, it's okay to say it."

After a moment, she nodded, and then continued, "I...promise that, from now on, I'll...go to see Dr. Anderson with you...every time...without a f-fight."

Speechless...I just looked at her...

...but she buried her head in my shoulder...

...and, as the silence stretched on...

...I realized that she was waiting for me to speak next.

So I did. "Thank you, honey. Is it because...of everything that's happened?"

She nodded.

"Is it also because...you're afraid of something like what happened to me happening to you?"

She shook her head.

"Then, is it because...you don't want anything bad to happen to me again?'

She nodded...

...and sniffed.

"Don't cry," I whispered. "We'll go together from now on..._every year_...like we're supposed to."

She nodded...

...and tightened her arms...

...and I tightened mine. Sam?"

She looked up at me questioningly.

I pulled back and said, "Since you just agreed to that...I want to promise _you_ something. From now on...if I have any...plumbing problems..._of any kind_...I'll tell you all about it...right away...I promise."

Her hug squeezed the breath out of me. "I promise you the same thing, Carls...and if you ever need to see the gynecologist...for any problem...I'll be right in there with you...and...and we'll tell Dr. Anderson everything. And I w-won't put up a fight on the table anymore...I pr-promise."

As she said that, I looked into her eyes...

...and saw how difficult it was for her to say it...

...but, also, that she meant every word of it.

Still, before I could stop myself, I asked, "Really, Sam?"

"Yes, Carls...I'm going to...to tell him everything...and, when it's time for him to...examine me...I'm going to...to..._l-let him_."

And I started to cry. "Oh, Sam...you have no idea how much that means to me!"

"I...we_ have to_, Carls, after all, he's your..._our _doctor."

And I started to bawl...

...and her arms went around me. "Come on, Cupcake...don't cry."

"I c-can't help it!" I sobbed. "I love you...so much! I don't want anything like what happened to my mom to happen to you! I've always been scared that it w-would...and now I don't have to w-worry about it anymore...because you're going to go to the...the-"

I couldn't continue.

She sat up, pulled me into her arms, and rocked me, like the baby that I was (_and __still am), _for several minutes...

...and then she pulled back and looked into my eyes. "Well, yeah, I_ am_ going...but don't think I'm going to 'go _first'!_ And you're still going to have to sweet-talk me...Before, During, _and _After!"

And I started to laugh...

...but soon stopped...

...when her lips made it impossible for me to continue.

But, as much as I was enjoying her kisses...

...I was equally enjoying the idea of getting at least nine hours of sleep..

...soon...

...because it had been a long day.

I glanced over at the clock. "It's kind of late."

She nodded.

"So, is it okay if we call it a night?"

She thought it over...

...and nodded again.

I leaned over and gave her another kiss. "Thank you...I'm really beat. Now, get undressed."

She hesitated. "Nah...I'm good."

"Come on, Sam...you can't sleep in your clothes," I insisted.

"No...I'll just-" she began, as she attempted to slide under the covers.

I stopped her. "Oh, I see...would you rather have _me _undress you?" I asked, laying a hand on her arm and raising an eyebrow.

"N-no."

"Well then, just take off your cargo shorts; you'll be a lot more comfortable," I stated...

...but she shook her head.

"Is everything...okay?" I asked tentatively.

She shrugged.

I shrugged back, and lay down, pulling her over on top of me. "If there's anything you'd like to talk about, it's okay," I assured her...

...but then, her lips were on mine...

...and, after deliberating for a couple of minutes...

...I decided to let the argument drop...

...because it was late, I was tired, and the fact that her tongue was now on the inside of my lips indicated that even if she did have something on her mind, it obviously wasn't bothering her at the moment.

Her arms slid around my chest, between my body and the mattress, and her kisses and the weight of her body on top of mine sent ripples of excitement cascading down the entire length of my body, rousing - and arousing - it from its former exhaustion...

...and then, as I felt the wetness between my legs begin to increase substantially...

...I wanted nothing more than to touch her...

...everywhere.

With a sigh, I trailed my hands from her shoulders down onto her khaki-covered backside.

As I gently squeezed both of her butt cheeks...

...repeatedly...

...her body jerked, and she pressed her pelvis down into mine...

...forcefully...

...not once...

...but over and over.

Wanting her even closer to me, I moved my hands up under the back of her T-shirt...

...squishing her chest flat against mine...

...loving the way it felt...

...and apparently, from the noises she was now making against my ear...

...she was too.

And, suddenly, I wanted to touch _her_...

.._.not_ the clothes that were separating us...

...so I slid both my hands down inside the back of her shorts.

And I couldn't believe it what I felt under my palms.

"Sam_?"_

And she froze.

I pulled back and looked up into her eyes...

...and grinned broadly. "Again?"

Instead of answering...

...she covered her face with her hands.

But then...

...confusion set in. "But...Spencer did all our laundry...so now you...have clean boxers...don't you?"

She blushed...

...and turned away.

"And you just took a shower...and changed _all_ of your clothes, so...so that means..."

With a look of comprehension at my comprehension...

...she hurriedly yanked the covers up over her head...

...and I just as hurriedly yanked them right back down.

"Sam?"

She didn't answer...

...except to turn an even brighter shade of crimson.

I paused...

...unsure if I should even ask...

...but, finally, I indulged my curiosity...

...and_ did_...

...hopefully.

"Sam? Do you...do you..._like_ wearing silk panties?"

"Argh!"

"'Yes' or 'no'?"

Silence.

"_Answer me, Sam."_

It was not a request.

She turned back to me...

...but turned her eyes down to the mattress. "J-juries still out."

"Liar!" I yelled...

...with a triumphant smile.

She turned away in alarm...

...and I removed my hands from her shorts...

...but only long enough to turn her face back toward me...

...and lift her eyes to mine. "Come on, Sam...admit it."

"I-I-"

"Just admit it. It's okay."

"I-I-"

I moved my face closer to hers and announced, in a low voice, "I know you do. I know for a fact that you do...especially when I do this..."

...and, without waiting for her to answer...

...or argue...

...I plunged my hands inside the back of her baggy shorts...

...and began to slide my palms, sensually, up and down her silk-covered backside.

She gasped...

...and squirmed...

...and thrust her pelvis down into mine...

...forcefully...

...but I was just getting started.

"And when I do _this_," I announced, with a meaningful look...

...as I rolled her over...

...and slid my hand down the outside of the front of them.

"Oh, God! Oh, God, Carls!" She gasped, as my fingers slid lower...

...and lower...

...and lower...

...and then began to glide over the rapidly-dampening crotch of her (my(?) panties.

"Don't be embarrassed," I advised her...

...which was a complete waste of time...

...because she most definitely was...

...more-so than I had ever seen.

Time to help her get over that.

As I lightly traced my finger down the slippery, wet white silk...

...she began to whimper...

...and I lowered my face to hers.

"You don't know how hot this is making me," I announced...

...as she stared back at me...

...with the strangest combination of total embarrassment...

...and absolute arousal that I had ever seen. "Please don't stop...please!" she begged.

"Don't worry, I won't...and don't worry...I'm not going to tell anyone that you love wearing silk panties."

"Argh!"

"You know, Sam...every girl should wear silk panties..."

"Argh!"

"...all the time!"

And with those words...

...I removed my hand from her shorts...

...unbuttoned and unzipped them...

...and then, my fingers found their way inside...

...and under the waistband of her panties.

And, since she was now looking up at me...

...in fear...

...I looked down into her eyes and smiled reassuringly.

"Open your legs," I requested softly.

She hesitated.

"It's okay...I promise that nothing is going to happen that you don't want."

She deliberated...

...for almost a minute...

...but finally opened her legs...

...and my fingers slid even lower.

She lay looking at me...

...holding her breath...

...as I cupped my hand around the softness of her fine, blonde pubic hair. "Just for a little while...I promise not to move it," I assured her.

She nodded back at me nervously...

...and then she lowered her eyes...

...to my crotch...

...and I nodded at her...

...and, seconds later...

...her hand was sliding down inside my own panties...

...coming to rest deep between my legs...

...directly against my vulva.

"Yes," I whispered...

...leaning over to kiss her...

...and, as I did...

...her hips thrust forward against my hand...

...involuntarily. "Please, Carls," she whispered.

I pulled back. "Only if you really want me to."

She hesitated.

"You're completely in charge right now, Sam. Just do to me exactly what you want me to do to you," I directed...

...and, seconds later...

...I felt her index finger moving slightly against my vulva...

...trying to penetrate my outer lips.

I opened my legs wider, to make it easier for her...

...and her finger soon found its way inside...

...and began to gently caress my clitoris.

I moved my own finger forward...

...and it sank easily between her wet, swollen lips...

...and she froze.

"Are you sure?" I asked. "If you're not, then stop, and I will too...right away."

She didn't...

...so I didn't...

...and, within minutes...

...she started to rock her hips against me. "Oh..._oh!" _she exclaimed...

...as her body trembled...

...but, unfortunately...

...it was obvious to me...

...that it was trembling in fear.

I leaned over and whispered, "Anytime you want me to stop, I will..."

...but she shook her head...

...and, as she did...

...I felt her finger gradually moving lower...

...so I did the same with my own...

..stopping just outside the entrance to her inner lips.

"C-carls?"

"Yes, honey?"

"I...I-"

I waited for her to finish saying it.

But she couldn't.

"It's okay...just show me. Just show me what you want," I directed...

...opening my legs wider.

She nodded, her entire body shaking...

...violently...

...as she extended both her index and her middle fingers...

...and, pressing their tips firmly against me...

...she started to twist them...

...and I felt them gradually...

..._painfully_...

...begin to enter my vagina.

It hurt...

...because they were dry (even though I wasn't)...

...but I forced myself to lie still...

...because I knew what I was going to be allowed to do next...

...which was what I wanted...

_...more than anything in the world._

Once they were completely inside, and her fingers were covered in my abundant wetness...

...even though I was still uncomfortable...

...it also hurt a lot less.

"Sam?"

She looked at me questioningly...

...and fearfully...

...but I shook my head. "Anytime you want me to stop I will...do you promise that you'll tell me right away if you get scared?"

She looked hurt at the word 'scared'.

"Sorry...I mean...if you want me to stop?" I corrected myself.

"Y-yes," she assured me...

...wrapping her free arm around my neck...

...and burying her face against it...

...as I turned my fingers against her vulva...

...getting them as wet as I could.

Determined to be as gentle as possible...

...I extended both fingers...

...and wrapped my free arm around her waist.

And then...

...as we both held our breath...

...I carefully moved my hand forward...

...and my fingers slowly began to penetrate her.

She whimpered against my neck...

...because, even though I met with less resistance than I'd expected...

...it was still difficult...

...and it was easy to see that she was terrified.

But, less than a minute later, I was marveling at the warm, wet welcome of her vagina...

...and at the way it embraced my fingers...

...clenching promptly (and tightly) around them...

...but even more so...

...because I actually felt her cervix against the tips of them.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

She shook her head.

"Do you want me to st-"

"N-no!" she insisted.

"Are you sure?"

"I-I-"

She bit her lip.

I smiled. "It's okay...just show me again. Whatever you do, I promise to do the same...okay?"

I focused hard on the sensation of her fingers inside me...

...determined to do exactly what they did...

...but they didn't move.

However, her other arm _did_...

...dropping over the side of the bed...

...and, after some fumbling near the floor...

...it returned topside, and then extended toward me...

...holding Buzz.

I hesitated. "Are you sure?"

She nodded.

With some difficulty, (I'm right-handed), I managed to get him plugged in...

...and then I turned him on...

...and, the fingers of my right hand still inside her...

...I pulled her shorts and panties (together) down to her knees with my left one...

...and lowered Buzz between her legs.

As soon as his tip touched her clitoris...

...her hips lurched forward...

...and her vagina grabbed my fingers...

...holding them stationary.

Not what I had in mind.

So, I moved Buzz away...

...and, a few seconds later, the walls of her vagina released me.

I carefully began gliding them up and down her slick interior...

...and then lowered Buzz against her once more...

...and once more, her vagina closed around my fingers...

...but now, they were so drenched...

...that they moved easily...

...as Buzz pulled her, slowly and steadily, up toward the summit.

Withing minutes...

...she removed her fingers from inside me...

...despite my vagina's vigorous efforts to prevent her...

...and she grabbed onto my shoulders with both hands. "Oh, God...oh, Carls! _Please!"_

"Please...what?"

I have no idea what her next words were...

...because, at that point, she was so out of her mind...

...that I would swear she was speaking in tongues.

"It's okay, honey," I assured her. "Just let go...whenever you're ready."

Her vagina was now clenching around my fingers so tightly...

...and so often...

...that I knew she was very, very close.

"Oh...oh...oh...help m-me, C-carls! _Please_!"

"Shh...you're going to be fine."

"No...I'm...I'm so..."

"You _are_ going to be fine, I promise. Just let it happen," I answered, in a low, reassuring voice.

"No...I c-can't!" she insisted...

...but her body had a much different opinion. "I...can't...I can't...I c-...OH MY GOD! It's...it's h-hap-"

She couldn't continue...

...but I smiled...

...as her back arched...

...and her body stilled...

...and then began to convulse...

...and the entire length of her vagina grabbed my fingers...

...tightly and repeatedly...

...as hot liquid engulfed them...

...before spilling out of her and into my palm.

Ignoring the painful way her fingers were digging into my shoulders...

...I focused on keeping my body immobile...

...on being _her rock_...

...as she finished riding out her orgasm.

Finally, nearly a minute later...

...with a gasp and a groan...

...she went limp in my arms...

...and her hands released my shoulders...

...as she collapsed back into the pillow.

My fingers met no resistance as I slid them from her...

...and, just as I had finished wiping them on a towel, I found myself being pulled, limply, into her embrace.

I lowered my head onto her chest, pressing my ear directly over her heart; and lay there, in utter bliss, listening to it gradually returning to its normal cadence...

...gradually slowing...

...as her body lay, warm and weak, under mine...

...and as I smiled at the heady knowledge that I had the power to make her body release all of its stress.

I gave her a few additional minutes to recover from her exertions...

...and then turned my head and planted several soft, slow kisses between her breasts...

...as I shifted my focus from her slow heartbeat...

...to the rapid pulsing sensation between my own legs...

...and to how badly I wanted relief from the quickly-worsening ache of my own arousal. "Sam...it's my turn," I announced...

...and was answered by...

...silence.

"Do you need a few more minutes to rest before you-" I began...

...raising my face to hers.

She was asleep.

XXXXX

The previous night's exertions must have given Sam an even larger appetite than she usually has, because, for once, I had absolutely no trouble waking her up before nine AM.

As soon as she had opened her eyes, I rolled over and wrapped my arms around her shoulders...resting my head on her chest...

...but, in one rapid move, she slid out from under me...

...and before I had even had a chance to sit up she'd yanked on a T-shirt and was zipping up her shorts. "Come on, Carls! You know how I've been looking forward to this!"

I opened my mouth to answer...

...but my response was muffled by the T-shirt she was dragging over my head.

Seconds later, I found my legs hanging over the side of the bed...

...as she wrestled them into a pair of sweat pants.

Not bothering to find shoes for either one of us...

...she picked me up and ran for the door.

"I can walk," I reminded her.

"Oh...yeah," she admitted setting me on my feet. "Race ya to the elevator!"

I grabbed her arm. "Bathroom?"

"Oops...I almost forgot. Race ya to the bathroom!"

(She won.)

Once we had reached the kitchen, I headed for the cabinets...

...but she flung an arm up in front of my chest. "No, Carls...I'm the chef today...so just relax and let me take care of everything."

I cringed when she said this...

...because I know what an utter slob she is...

...especially in the kitchen.

Nevertheless, I collapsed into a chair and let her take over.

Fifteen minutes later, the cacophony of rattling pots and pans brought Spencer hurtling into the kitchen...

...swinging a golf club in each hand. "Who's breaking in? Don't tell them that I hide all our valuables in my-" He stopped short...

...and sniffed the air. "Is it...no...it can't be!"

Sam smiled broadly. "It is!"

"When did we buy a waffle iron?" he asked.

I looked nervously at Sam.

"We didn't," she admitted, "it's sort of, uh-" she stopped abruptly...

...and he looked at her, obviously confused. "Why the sudden menu change...did the Fat Cake factory blow up?"

"Spence...some things are even more awesome than Fat Cakes for breakfast!" she exclaimed.

"Come on, Sam...hurry up...I'm starving!" I announced testily...

...and she turned back to her work. "Okay...okay...you can only make one waffle at a time with this thing...but don't worry...only twelve more, and we'll have enough for the first course-"

She was interrupted by loud pounding on the front door.

Spencer went to answer it. "Hi Freddie," I heard him say...

...but Freddie didn't answer...

...because he was too busy sniffing the air.

Seconds later, an expression of confirmed, infuriated recognition crossed his face, and he stormed past Spencer and directly into the kitchen.

"Hi, Fr-" I began...

...but he tore past me...

...and straight over to the kitchen counter. "I might have known! I thought I smelled...Sam!"

She looked up from what she was doing. "Yes, Freddunce?" she replied...

...with complete non-nonchalance.

His face was purple. "Don't you play innocent with me, Puckett!" He snatched the offset spatula she was holding, and brandished it in her face menacingly...

...but she stood her ground and looked back at him in bored, indifferent silence.

"I just got my mom this waffle iron last week...for her birthday! How _dare_ you steal it?" he demanded.

To my complete astonishment (and dismay), Sam confessed...

...immediately. "Well, I've heard that the Lord helps those who help themselves...so I helped myself!" she answered, with a smile.

He was not amused. "You have no shame! My mom is nice enough to invite you over to our home and cook for you and entertain you...and then you have the _audacity_-"

She stood calmly, not caring that he was screaming directly into her face...

...but I couldn't take it...

...not under the circumstances. "Sam..._don't!"_

She turned to face me. "Carls, it's okay."

"No, its not!" I yelled. _"You know that it's not!"_

She held up her hand. "Carls...let him," she said, giving me a very pointed look.

"But-"

"Let him...it's okay," she assured me.

Hating her decision...

..._and_ her determination...

...I sat down...

...and shut up.

Freddie soon reached the end of his rant and, pulling the plug on the waffle iron, he snatched it off the counter, shoved it under his arm...screaming as he did...and then, turning on his heel, he stomped out of the apartment...

...leaving behind the distinct and lingering aromas of scorched rugby shirt...

...and burnt flesh.

I spun around. "Sam! Why did you let-"

She looked over at Spencer and then back to me...

...and shook her head warningly...

...and, against my better judgment, I shut up...

...again.

She looked in the direction of 'our' departed appliance and shrugged. "Oh, well...easy come, easy go."

I leaned forward and glanced at the large platter on the counter. "It's okay...look, there are already twelve waffles made."

Her face fell. "Well, yeah...but what are you and Spencer gonna eat?"

In the fridge, there was part of a leftover, baked ham, which Sam sliced and fried; and, between that and the waffles...and the nine packages of Fat Cakes that I found in the cabinet...the three of us had an excellent breakfast.

As soon as we'd finished eating, Spencer stood up, walked to where Sam was sitting...

...and turned her chair around until she was facing him. "All right, _You..._it's time for a very long, very serious sermon on the evils of stealing," he announced.

"Spencer, _No!_" I yelled, jumping to my feet.

They both turned to face me.

"It's okay, Carls...let him," she replied calmly.

"But...but..._But-"_ I protested.

She shook her head. "Really, Carls...it's okay..._let him._"

Reluctantly, I sat back down...

...and shut my mouth...

...yet again.

Fifteen minutes later, Spencer finally ran out of steam. "Sam, hold out your hands!" he ordered.

She did.

He smacked them both...

...hard.

She laughed...

...loudly.

Rolling his eyes in exasperation, he began to clear the table.

As he leaned across it, I did too...

...because of what I glimpsed sticking out of the pocket of his sweat-jacket...

...and my hand was a blur as it shot forward...

...and snatched the full pack of Yumalicious gum.

Half a second later, Sam lunged toward me...

...but I jumped aside and backed away from the table.

"Hey! Don't hide..._divide!"_ she yelled...

...but I just shook my head...

...as I stuffed my mouth...

...with all twelve pieces.

"Kiddo, when did you start chewing gum?" Spencer asked in surprise.

Incapable of speech, I shrugged my shoulders...

...but Sam answered for me. "Just the other day." She turned back to me. "Consider yourself warned...it's a hard habit to break once you start."

"Ang oowhi wuld ai wanya briak iut?" I managed to utter around the huge wad of gum in my mouth.

She had an (infuriating) answer ready. "Well for one thing...Miss Briggs can't stand the sight of anyone chewing gum...I remember, last year, that she was handing out detentions for it...right and left...and you know that we're gonna have her for homeroom again this-"

Not waiting for her to finish the sentence...

...I quickly spit my gum into my hand...

...and then replied...

...immediately and disgustedly, "Fuck Briggs! That bitch can suck my dick! I'll grow one for the-"

SAM:

I'm pretty sure that the next word was "occasion"...

...but we'll never really know, because it was drowned out by the deafening sound of...

...Spencer dropping every single plate and mug in his hands.

With a gasp of (much-too-late) realization...

...she turned to him...

...and he turned to her...

...and they both stared at each other...

...slack-jawed...

...and then, Spencer's face contorted into a configuration of rage that I've never seen before...

...and fervently pray to never see again...

...as he turned and stormed out of the kitchen.

Thinking that we'd seen the last of him for the rest of the morning, I turned to her with an amused smile...

...but, less than a minute later, he stomped back into the room and, stopping near my chair, he said...

...in a calm yet terrible voice, "Carly...come here."

She slowly approached him...

...and the smirk slid right off my face...

...when he opened his hand...

...and and I saw what was in it.

"You're getting your mouth washed out with soap, young lady," he announced.

"Oh, no I'm not!" she replied...

...promptly and defiantly...

...turning to walk away...

...but, before she could, his hand shot forward...

...and grabbed the back of her T-shirt...

...and then...

...he dragged her over to the sink.

"Oh yes you are...and Right Now!" he informed her, his anger rapidly building into a crescendo.

CARLY:

Seconds later, I found myself standing with my stomach pressed up against the counter, near the sink, where Spencer was holding me...with one hand in an iron-fisted grip on my shirt...while his other hand fumbled with the faucet knob...

...and, at that moment, the full gravity of what was about to happen hit me...

...hard.

"Spencer..._no!_" I begged, trying to twist away from him...

...and failing...

...because he was determined. "Let's make one thing perfectly clear, Carly. "I will _never_ tolerate that kind of language under this roof...and you _will not_ disgrace our parents...they didn't raise you that way!"

SAM:

She shot me a pleading look...

...and, without hesitation...

...I rose to the occasion.

Planting myself (with difficulty) between the two of them I began, "Spencer...this really isn't necessary."

Without a word, he pushed me roughly aside, and then pulled Carly over in front of him. Turning her to face forward, he then wrapped an arm around her waist, and bent her over the sink...

...with her face inches from the running faucet...

...and then he leaned forward himself...

...wrapping his other arm - the one holding the bar of soap - around her...

...and, the instant she saw it...

...she started to cry...

...hard. "Spencer no! I'm really, really sorry! Honest! And I promise you'll never hear me say _anything_ like that...ever ag-"

"Carly, shut your mouth..._right now!_ Wait...no...I mean..._open it!_ 'Sorry' isn't going to cut it this time...not after what you just..."

(With additional difficulty), I grabbed his arms...

...and turned him to face me. "Spencer, don't do it...what you just heard...that...that wasn't Carly talking!"

He stared back at me...

...obviously disgusted...

…that I couldn't come up with a more believable alibi. "Oh, so what are you saying, Sam...that I've been hearing voices?"

After a short - but violent - internal struggle, I managed to bite back the four different sarcastic replies that were struggling to escape from my mouth...

...and instead, answered, "No, Spencer...she's on really strong painkillers...and those can really mess with your head. You know that behavior like that is completely uncharacteristic of your sweet, innocent little-"

I paused and, as I did, I saw the first hint of uncertainty in his eyes...

...and it gave me the fortitude to continue. "Let's look at this logically...have you _ever_ heard her use language _anything_ like that before?"

He hesitated. "Well...no...but-"

He turned her to face him and, hands on her shoulders, he said, "Carly look at me."

Trembling, she lifted her tear-filled eyes to his.

He took a deep breath. "Have you _ever_ used...profanities...of that magnitude before?"

CARLY:

"Of c-course n-not, Spencer," I lied...

...with astonishing ease.

Sam tapped his shoulder and he turned to face her. "See? And you know she's never been one to lie. Besides, she's going back to the doctor in a few days, and he's going to remove the thirty-seven stitches from the _jagged, gaping wound t_hat she has in her...

At this 'visual', his lower lip started to tremble.

"..._badly-damaged uterus_. And hopefully, _her life-threatening injury_ will have healed enough that she'll no longer be in so much _agonizing pain_...and he can take her off the_ incredibly strong, mind-warping drugs_ that she's been forced to take for the past-"

He opened his mouth...

...but no sound came out...

...but, still, he didn't seem entirely convinced.

Time to crank things up a notch.

I pretended to think things over.

"You know what, Spencer...I was wrong."

Before he could ask me what that meant...

...I grabbed Carly's wrist...

...pulled her away from him...

...and dragged her over to the living room couch...

...and, after a brief struggle against me...

...for which she was no match...

...I fell backward onto it...

...and then, despite her howls of protest...

...I dragged her, face downward...

...across my lap.

"What are you doing?" she demanded.

I didn't answer.

Instead, I lifted my gaze to Spencer's. "You're absolutely right, Spence...she does need to be punished..._severely_...but, considering the inexcusably-foul language she just used...I'm sure you realize, as well as I do...that soap isn't going to be nearly enough."

He opened his mouth...

..but before he could reply...

...I hastily continued, "But there's nothing wrong with her vocabulary that a long session of focused, non-stop, _brutal_ spanking won't cure...not when it's done..._bare-assed!_"

At this proposal, she gasped...

...and tried to jump up...

...but the force of my palms pressing against her lower back soon put a stop to that plan.

Keeping leverage on her...

...despite her violent, thrashing efforts to escape...

...I turned my eyes and my attention back to Spencer.

"Sam, I don't think-" he began doubtfully...

...but I cut him off immediately. "Trust me, Spence, a good, hard beating is exactly what's needed in this situation...how else is she gonna learn the difference between _polite conversation_...and what just came out of that filthy, sewer mouth of hers?"

I shifted my gaze downward.

"Carly," I barked, "even though you_ nearly died_ less than a month ago, and even though you've _suffered...extremely..._from all the _horrible, painful, physical and emotional trauma _that you've been through... there's no excuse for what you just said! How dare you use language like that? I see that it's gonna take a lot more physical pain and suffering for you to grasp the concept of ladylike behavior!"

I sneaked a peek at Spencer's face.

Almost there.

I turned back to Carly. "I didn't want to have to beat your butt until it's blistered and bleeding, especially since _you've already injured the area so severely_, but you've left me no choice! And, before I've finished I'm sure that your anguished screams will prove to Spencer that you have indeed learned your lesson! So now, it's time for you to-"

"D-don't you d-dare!" she gasped.

Immediately, I reached down with both hands...

...and turned her face in my direction. "Talking back to me, Shay? Just for that...you're now going to get it twice as hard..._and twice as long!"_

Speechless with fear, she started to struggle again...

...even more violently than before...

...but I leaned forward and wrapped my left arm around her waist...

...holding her stationary...

...and, just as I yanked her sweatpants down past her hips...

...completely exposing her underwear...

...Spencer tore over to the couch...

...snatched her off my lap...

...and up into his arms...

...and, as her sweatpants fell to her ankles...

...they both started to cry.

"I'm so, _so_ sorry, Carly! I never should have threatened to-"

"N-no, it's all my f-fault, Spencer," she sobbed back, "I didn't m-mean to be a b-bad girl! W-will you forgive m-me?"

"F-forgive you for.._.what?_" he blubbered.

"Oh, I l-l-love you...so much!" she bawled. "I pr-promise that you w-won't hear language like that come out of m-my m-mouth...ever again!"

With a sigh, I rolled my eyes and kicked back on the couch.

This could take a while.

Ten minutes later...

...just as they both had finished wailing and sniveling...

...Spencer's phone rang...

...and he hurried over to the kitchen counter and picked it up.

As he tried to compose himself enough to answer it, Carly grabbed my hand and dragged me across the room...

...with difficulty...

...since her sweatpants were still way down past her knees.

"Not bad, Shay...not bad," I complimented her, in a low voice.

She smiled and wiped her eyes on her bare arm. "Well, I know for a fact that you'd _never_ _really_ hit me! And Dad thought that me joining drama club was going to be a waste of time!"

At that statement, I raised my eyebrows...

...and looked over to make sure that Spencer's back was turned...

...and, once I had confirmed that it was...

...I wrapped one arm around her waist...

...and then, after yanking the back of her underwear down...

...I gave her a few well-placed (and well-deserved) smacks on her bare butt anyway...

...for lying to me...

...because I knew that those tears had been _real_.

She jumped. "Ow! What was that for?"

"For lying."

She shook her head. "It wasn't a lie...I never said that I wouldn't swear anymore...only that he'd never _hear it!_"

I opened my mouth to argue...

...but, after a moment's reflection...

...I decided to save my energy...

...because I had other plans for the rest of the day...

...and for her.

Besides...I was every bit as guilty of lying to Spencer as she was...

...because I knew the_ real reason_ that she swears...

...and that her meds had_ absolutely nothing_ to do with it.

But, before letting go...

...just to be on the safe side...

...I gave her bare butt two more whacks for good measure.

"Ow...Ow! Knock it off...and suck my dick!" she whispered with a smirk...

...which, seconds later, turned into a look of sincere, profound guilt and regret...

...and, after kindly reaching over and pulling her underwear and sweatpants back up for her...

...I grabbed her hand...

...and we turned and sneaked upstairs...

...to the sound of Spencer declaring, "Yeah, Socko, my allergies are really acting up this morning...that's why I sound so congested!"

A/N: As ye review...

...so also shall ye reap!


	14. Chapter 14

CARLY:

As soon as we reached the top of the stairs, Sam headed for the bedroom...

...but I had other plans...

...and, grabbing her by the wrist...

...I led her into the bathroom.

Closing the door behind us, I turned to her. "Shower?"

"Okay," she replied, starting toward the tub.

I didn't follow.

Instead, I put a hand on her shoulder, and turned her around to face me. "Sam, what are you wearing under those shorts?" I asked pointedly...

...but, instead of answering me...

...she looked at the floor...

...and blushed.

I raised my eyebrows. "Sam, I just asked you a question...and I expect an answer," I reminded her...

...in a very serious tone of voice...

...but her only response was...

...to turn an even brighter shade of red.

"Answer me, Sam...now," I demanded...

...lifting her chin and looking into her eyes...

...but she just stared back at me...

...red-faced and silent...

...and obviously,_ horribly_ embarrassed.

I took several steps forward. "If you're going to be uncooperative, then I'll just have to find out for myself," I announced...

...as I backed her up against sink...

...and started to unzip her shorts.

She blocked me with her hands. "No...don't!"

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I...I...don't want you to look!" she insisted.

"Why not?"

She averted her eyes and shrugged.

I leaned forward. "Come on...I've _never_ seen you in them before...and I'll bet you look _so hot _in silk panties!"

Her expression immediately changed, from one of embarrassment...

...to one of fear...

...and she rapidly slid sideways...

...out from between me and the sink...

...obviously intending to flee the room...

...but I immediately grabbed both of her shoulders...

...and pushed her firmly back into place.

"Sam...that response was completely unacceptable. Let me make this perfectly clear: We are_ not_ leaving this room until I see you in your panties."

She flinched, sharply, at the sound of her least favorite word...

...and, from the way she was glancing over at the door...

...it was obvious that she was contemplating another attempt at escape...

...so I tightened my grip on her shoulders. "I don't think you understand, Sam...I_ insist_. Now get undressed," I directed...

...but, instead of following my orders...

...she just stood there...

...her expression now a combination of embarrassment and fear...

...as she shifted her gaze from the door...

...to the floor.

I leaned forward...until our faces were inches apart. "Sam...I just told you to get undressed...and you deliberately disobeyed me. If you continue to refuse...then the consequences will be_ very serious_."

She began to tremble. "C-carls...I don't w-want-"

"That's completely irrelevant, Sam...because _I Do Want_...and, if you don't take your clothes off, right now, the only thing you'll be thinking about is your red, aching, butt."

She stared at me...

...horrified. "No! Don't you dare spank me!"

Reluctantly, I relented...

...slightly. "Well...maybe I _was_ a bit hard on you...but you're still not getting out of this. Perhaps you just need a little warming up first?"

Without allowing her time to answer, I slid my right hand up the inside of her thighs...

...with my index and middle fingers extended...

...and then, seconds later...

...as they pressed very, very tightly against the outside of her shorts...

...directly against her crotch...

...her hands found my shoulders...

...and she turned her face to the ceiling...

...as she closed her eyes and exhaled shakily.

"Open your legs...now," I directed...

...and she did...

...without hesitation.

Reaching around behind her, I put my left hand under her butt. "Go ahead," I advised...

...and she began to push her crotch forward, repeatedly, against my fingers...

...hard...

...but not hard enough to suit me...

...since there were several layers of cloth between my fingers and her vulva...

...so I tightened my left hand's grip on her backside...

...and then, with every thrust of her crotch against my fingers...

...I began pulling her pelvis toward me...

...as hard as I could...

...intensifying the pressure against her vagina...

...fourfold.

There are no words to explain the sounds she was making...

...but she was, most definitely, enjoying it.

"Sam? Sam? _Sam!_"

Finally, with effort, she was able to regain enough control over her body to tilt her face and her gaze down from the ceiling and look into my eyes.

Still forcing my hand against her in both directions, I asked, "How does that feel?"

"S-so g-good!"

I frowned in disappointment. "Only_ 'good'_? Would you like it to feel..._great_?"

"Y-yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! Oh, please...I want it to!" she gasped.

"Then you have to get undressed."

She stopped moving against my hand. "No! I can't! I'm so-"

I stopped moving my fingers. "You're so...what?"

"I don't want you to...to-"

"To what? To see you in panties?"

Now shaking...

...she bit her lip...

...and buried her face in her hands.

"Why not?" I asked...

...but she didn't answer.

I pulled her hands away. "Sam, look at me."

She did...

...reluctantly.

"Why not?" I insisted...

...but, still incapable of answering...

...she leaned forward and buried her face in my chest.

"Are you really_ that _embarrassed?" I asked.

Without looking up...

...she nodded.

"Why are you so embarrassed to let me see? 99.99999999% of girls wear them."

"I...know," she admitted.

"I'll bet you look so hot!"

As she shook her head...

...I realized that I was becoming ever-so-slightly impatient. "Sam...take your shorts off. Right now."

Looking up in alarm, she dropped her hands and tried to move away from me...

...but I grabbed her upper arms and held on tightly. "No, Sam. You're going to show me...and if you won't do it voluntarily...then I'm going to have to_ make you_."

At these words, she tried to twist away from me...

...but I had expected her to...

...and immediately pushed her butt back up against the edge of the sink. "N-no! I don't want to-" she began...

...as I leaned forward and announced, eagerly, "Just knowing that you're wearing them right now is making me so insanely turned-on!"

It was.

I was dying to see her in them.

"Carls, please don't make me...please!"

I sighed. "It looks like someone needs a little more persuading," I said.

"Carls I don't want-" she began...

...moving sideways again.

I grabbed her with both hands...

...and pulled her back in front of me, and then...

...wrapping my left arm firmly around her waist...

...I reached down again...

...and slid my right hand up between her thighs...

...and, turning it sideways...

...I jammed the outer edge of my index finger up between her legs...

...as tightly against her as I possibly could...

...forcing both her shorts _and_ her panties up between her outer lips...

...giving her a _brutal _'camel-toe'...

...and began shoving it against her...

...as quickly and as forcefully as I could.

As she gasped...

...I nodded. "Yes you do, Sam..._you_ _do want_...and we both know it. You do...don't you?"

She didn't answer...

...so I shoved the edge of my hand up against her so hard...

...that she was almost lifted off her feet...

...and I started pushing against her...

...so forcefully...

...that I'm sure it was hurting her.

"Uh..._oh_...Carls I...I w-want-"

What she actually wanted, I never found out...

...because I leaned forward and cut her off with my lips.

Her hips began moving forward against my hand ...

...as her tongue moved forward into my mouth...

...and her hands grabbed my upper arms...

...and pulled me close.

She closed her eyes...

...and, as she started making erratic, high-pitched moaning noises against my lips...

...I knew that escape was now the furthest thing from her mind...

...which meant that I could safely release my left arm's hold on her waist.

So I did...

...and grabbed onto the bottom of her T-shirt instead.

Pushing it upward, I reached underneath, and...

...stretching my hand out flat...

...I slid it, lightly, up and over her right breast...

...letting her already-hardening nipple barely graze against my palm...

...and she threw her head back. "Oh, Carls...oh, God!"

Moving my hand across to the other side of her chest...

...I slid it downward over her left breast...

...in the same teasing way.

"_I want! Oh God! Oh touch! Oh please!_" She gasped...

...and, obligingly...

...I pulled off her T-shirt...

...and then my own...

...and, as her entire body trembled with awareness and anticipation...

...I moved my right hand from between her legs, and onto her shoulder...

...and, leaning forward to close the gap between our bodies...

...I began to rub my breasts against hers...

...slowly and seductively...

...sliding along and across the entire length and width of her chest...

...noting, with immense satisfaction, the way her nipples were hardening against my chest...

...just as my own were against hers.

I pulled her closer with my left arm...

...listening to her very shallow and very uneven breathing next to my ear...

...as my right hand slid up between her thighs again...

...pressing tightly between them...

...and, as I shoved it against her...

...forward and upward...

...non-stop...

...she immediately shoved back against it...

...forward and downward...

...so frequently...

...and so violently...

...getting so lost in her passion that...

...without warning...

...her knees suddenly gave way.

With a gasp, she grabbed me to steady herself...

...and I grabbed her, too...

...but, instead of helping to hold her upright...

...like she wanted (and expected) me to...

...I moved her away from the sink...

...and then, slowly and deliberately...

...I lowered her down..

...onto the floor...

...onto the bathroom rug...

...onto her back.

As I leaned over her...

...her eyes snapped open. "W-what are you doing?"

"Shh...I want to look at you."

"No!" she exclaimed...

...and hastily tried to sit up...

...but I leaned forward...

...grabbed both of her shoulders...

...and pushed her down.

Holding her firmly on her back I leaned down and looked into her eyes. "Sam...you're going to show me."

With an expression of alarm...

...she began struggling...

...so I tightened my grip...

...keeping her back flat against the rug. "It's only fair, Sam...after all, you've seen me in mine."

She stopped resisting. "I know...but..."

"Sam...you're not a 'girly' girl...we both know that for a fact...so why is this so difficult for you?"

Instead of explaining...

...she closed her eyes and shook her head.

With a shrug, I leaned down...

...lay my body on top of hers...

...pinning her to the bathroom floor...

...and began kissing her...

...so slowly...

...so deeply...

...and so skillfully...

...that it soon was obvious...

...from the way she was kissing me back...

...that she was beginning to forget that I had taken her hostage.

After a few minutes of dedicated kissing on my part...

...and sincere reciprocation on her part...

...she was, apparently, sufficiently distracted...

...so I shifted my body to one side...

...and then reached down and...

...while still kissing her...

...I unbuttoned, and then unzipped, her shorts.

She didn't protest.

Encouraged, I snaked my hand down the front of them...

...slowly...

...smiling against her lips as she_ voluntarily _opened her legs...

...knowing that I was about to get exactly what I wanted.

I pressed my fingertips against the damp silk covering her vulva...

...until they sank between her outer lips...

...pushing the crotch of her panties in with them...

...and then...

...slowly and deliberately...

...I began to finger her.

"Oh...uhh..._uhhhhh!_"

I stopped kissing her for a moment. "Do you want me to stop, Sam?"

"N-n-no...please don't!"

With a nod, I reached down with my free hand...

...and started to push her shorts down past her hips...

...and then...

...unexpectedly...

...she started to struggle...

...violently.

_So_ violently...

...that I finally realized what all of her determined resistance actually meant...

...and that it was time to call her on it.

I momentarily turned my attention away from the top of her shorts...

...which were still up above her hips...

...and, leaning forward...

...I planted my palms flat on the bathroom floor...

...one on either side of her shoulders.

Looking down at her, knowingly, I stated, "You're fighting me every step of the way on this because you love wearing silk panties...but you don't want to admit it."

"No!" she gasped. "That's not tr-"

"Yes it is, Sam.._.and_ you want me to see you in them..._so badly_...but you're too embarrassed to say so."

"Stop it! I don't! I'm not!"

I shook my head. "Sorry. I know that I'm right and I'm most definitely _not_ going to stop."

As soon as I'd said it...

...she tried to roll out from under me...

...and actually almost succeeded...

...but I grabbed her by both shoulders...

...and pinned her to the floor again...

...leaning my entire body weight against her.

With an expression of equal parts of alarm, guilt, and fear...

...she tried, desperately, to get traction with her bare feet...

...but they were on the bare floor, not on the rug...

...and, due to the leverage I was exerting against her shoulders...

...I held her easily.

Looking down into her eyes, I stated calmly, "Admit that you want this..._admit it_."

Her lower lip was trembling. "I...I-"

"And admit that the only reason you're fighting me is because you feel a very strong need to maintain your self-respect."

"No, I-" she began...

...but then...

...she saw the way I was looking at her...

...and stopped arguing.

She knew that I knew.

I leaned down. "Come on...let me," I said softly.

And then...

slowly and silently...

...she lifted her hips...

...and let me open her shorts...

...and let me pull them off.

I looked down at her...

...lying on her back...

...on my bathroom floor...

...completely helpless...

...and seeing her, for the first time, in just a pair of white silk panties...

...was so overwhelming to me...

..that it almost made me orgasm.

As unforeseen and violent spasms seized my entire body...

...I was forced to surrender to them...

...and, now helpless myself...

...I fell down on top of her...

...as my vagina and thighs clenched...

...repeatedly and violently...

...and I cried out, "Oh, God! _Oh, God_...I'm gonna-"

But then...

...just as I was about to 'go over the edge'...

...the urge that had seized me...

...so savagely and so uncontrollably and so completely...

...suddenly subsided to a dull, throbbing, yet agonizing ache...

...and I managed to regain control over my body...

...but, still, I knew that I had to orgasm...

...soon.

_I Had To_.

I pulled myself together as well as I could, pushed myself up off her chest, and looked back down...

...to see her staring up at me in confusion.

Still shaking from the powerful agitation of my near-climax...

...I leaned down and kissed her. "You look so fucking sexy in silk panties you have no idea-"

"Stop that!"

"Why should I...when we both know you love it?" I answered...with a knowing smile.

"No, I-" she began...

But, not bothering to wait for (or listen to) her answer...

...I bent her legs...

...spreading them far apart...

...and looked between them...

...with immense satisfaction...

...at the abundant wetness that had already leaked out of her...

...and into her panties...

...and that was slowly spreading out in both directions...

...soaking much more of them than just the crotch.

I smiled at her...

...and, knowing exactly what I was looking at...

...and deeply shamed by it...

...she tried to close legs...

...but my hands grabbed her knees...

...and stopped her immediately.

As I felt them shaking under my palms, she began, "I...don't-"

I leaned forward. "Oh, yes you do, Sam...especially when I do this," I said...

...tracing my finger up and down her silk-covered crotch...

...as she gasped...

..."and_ this_," I added...

...wiggling my first two fingers inside the leg-band of her panties...

...and sinking them between her outer lips.

As I did, she arched her back...

...and opened her mouth...

...but no sound came out of it.

I hooked my fingers forward...

…and began moving them against her clit...

...watching in satisfaction as her body lurched against them...

...and then...

...to her obvious disappointment...

...I withdrew them from her vulva...

...and from her panties...

...and leaned over her...

...looking directly down into her eyes.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked. "And I expect a completely open and honest answer," I added.

He body shaking uncontrollably, she began, "I want you to make me...to make me-"

I waited in silence for her to finish...

...but she couldn't.

"What?" I asked again.

She responded...

...but not verbally.

Reaching for my shoulders...

...she pulled me over on top of her...

...and opened her legs...

...as wide as they would go.

"Please...I want-" she whispered.

Understanding, I nodded, and...

...moving up her body...

...I planted my right knee firmly against her silk-covered, wet, waiting, wanting vagina.

And then...

...as I leaned against her...

...she began pushing against it...

...and I began pushing forward into her.

Less than two minutes later, her face was flushed...

...and her breathing was in short, jagged gasps...

...as she tightened her arms around my back. "Oh, God Carls...oh, God...I'm gonna cum _so soon!_"

I stopped moving. "Oh, no you're not. Not yet," I informed her.

She froze. "Wh-what do you mean?"

"It's _way_ too soon for that, Sam."

"Please let me...I need to...right now!" she begged...

...but I shook my head. "Ever since we walked into this room, you've been very, very uncooperative. And now you have to be punished for it."

"Carls...come on!"

"No, Sam," I stated...

...unsympathetically...

...as I moved my knee away.

Frantic, she grabbed my wrist...

...and shoved my hand between her still-spread legs...

...and started grinding it against herself...

...but I pulled back. "No."

"I...I'm sorry! I should have...you know...undressed for you right away," she admitted...

...but it wasn't nearly enough. "That's not all you did wrong," I replied.

"Wh-what else?" she asked apprehensively.

I sat up. "I'm not going to get into it right now," I answered...

...in my most detached manner.

She grabbed my hands. "Carls, please help me! You can do anything you want to me!"

I removed my hands from her grip and moved them to her shoulders. "I know I can. And I'm going to."

"Wh-what do you mean?" she faltered.

Instead of answering...

...I took one last look at her...

...lying, nearly naked, on her back...

...under me...

...pinned to the floor...

...completely at my mercy...

...but, realizing that I had other plans for her...

...far more entertaining ones...

...I got to my feet...

...took hold of her wrists...

...and pulled her to her own feet.

And then, I steered her out the door...

...down the hall...

...and into bedroom.

Once I had closed the door behind us, she looked at me in confusion. "I thought you wanted to take a shower."

"I did...and we will...right after. So grab some clean clothes."

And I held my breath...

...as she walked over to my dresser...

...and opened the drawer in it that's reserved for her.

Wait for it, Carly...wait for it...wait for it...wait fo-

"C-carls?"

"Yes, Sam?"

"Uh...where are all my boxers?"

"Sam?"

She turned to face me. "Yeah?"

"From now on...no more boxers. Ever."

The color drained from her face. "Carls, _no!_"

"Come on Sam...you want to...and I know you want t-"

"But...but-" she began...

...in a feeble attempt to begin an argument...

...that we both knew she was about to lose.

I walked over to her. "I'm not trying to 'fem you up'. I love your Sam gear and I don't ever want you to change that. But from now on...you're going to wear silk panties...

"Arrgh!"

"...every day."

"No!"

"No exceptions," I insisted.

"No! I'm not go-"

"Oh, yes you are, Sam. And, every day, I'm going to check to make sure you're wearing them."

"But...but..._but_-"

"And, wherever we go, no one else will know that you have them on but us...

"But-"

...and that will be so fucking hot!"

"N-no, Carls...I don't want t-"

I took a step forward. "Just think, Sam...every time you move...you'll feel them rubbing against you...like this," I said...

...reaching down between her legs...

...and tickling the outside of her panties lightly with my finger tips.

Grabbing my shoulders...

...she squealed...

...I'm not sure whether from arousal or fear...

...but probably from both...

...and she immediately and tightly clamped her thighs around my hand.

Ignoring this, I continued, "And it'll feel_ so_ good...

"...that you'll get _so_ wet...

"...and every time we're out somewhere, and I look at you...

"...I'll know exactly what's happening between your legs...

"...how wet your panties are making you...

"...and how wet you're making them...

"...and how incredibly aroused you are...

"...and how badly it's making your vagina ache...

"...and how badly you need release...

"...and how scared and frustrated you are...

...because you'll know that there's _absolutely nothing_ you can do about it...

"...and knowing that will make_ me _wet, aroused, and aching...

"...and then, as soon as we get home...

"...I'll drag you straight upstairs...

"...and, instead of fighting me...

"...you'll be_ begging _me to undress you...

"...and to use Buzz on you...

"_...through your panties..._

"...because you won't be able to wait long enough for me to take them off you!"

Her lower lip was trembling...

...along with the rest of her body.

I pulled her close. "You want that..._badly_...don't you?"

Silence.

"Sam...I expect an answer. An honest one."

She looked down...

...and nodded slowly.

"No, Sam...a _verbal_ answer."

She buried her face against my shoulder. "I...I w-want you to!"

"Then I'm going to shopping...

...and I'm going to buy a whole bunch of panties for you...

...and you're going with me."

Her head snapped up. "No!"

"Yes. White silk ones...just like mine. And you're going to wear them," I stated calmly.

"No! I'm not!"

"Yes...you are. Every day," I informed her.

"I'm n-not going!" she insisted.

"Oh, yes you are. And afterward, you're going to be so glad that you did...because every day...when you're so insanely aroused from wearing them that you want to _cry_...I'll be doing...this," I announced...maneuvering her down onto the bed...

...and onto her back.

Before she could recover from her surprise...

...I spread her legs...

...bent her knees...

...reached down between her upper thighs...

...and, with my first two fingers extended...

...I pushed her panties up into her vulva...

...and started to massage her clitoris through them.

"Oh, God...oh, God! _Carls!_"

"What, Sam?"

"I...I _want_-

"I know you do," I agreed. "But..._when?"_

"Right now! All the time! Every day! I want you to do this to me...every day!"

"Then you have to wear panties...every day."

She opened her mouth...

...but before she could reply...

...I slid my fingers down inside her panties...

...and up alongside her clitoris...

...and she began thrusting against them. "Oh God! Oh, yes! Oh, please!"

But I shook my head...

...pulled my hand out of her underpants...

...and began trailing my fingertips, teasingly up and down the outside of the crotch again.

"Somebody's panties are getting really,_ really_ wet," I announced.

She averted her eyes in embarrassment.

"Sam?"

Slowly and red-faced, she turned back to face me. "Y-yeah?"

"What are we going to do about your wet panties?" I asked.

In response...

...she reached down to remove them...

...but I grabbed her wrists.

"No, Sam...wrong answer."

"But...I-I want to-"

"You want to...what?"

"I want to...h-have an...orgasm!"

"When, Sam?"

"R-right _now!_" she half-insisted/half-begged.

"Well...I don't know," I mused.

"Please, Carls..._Please!_"

I looked at her regretfully. "Sorry, Sam."

Alarmed and desperate, she sat up and started scanning the room. "I have to! Where's Buzz?"

"Buzz is taking a little vacation," I informed her.

She looked at me...

...stunned. "What?" she asked...

...and, as she did, I could clearly hear the panic in her voice.

But before I could answer...

...she jumped off the bed...

...and began tearing around the room...

...searching wildly...

...as I watched in amusement. "You'll never find him, Sam."

She stopped in her tracks and looked across the room at me.

"You're evil!"

"No I'm not...but I_ am_ resourceful," I corrected her...

...while trying not to smile at her obvious despair. "Don't worry...he'll come back...eventually...if you really want him to."

"I do!" she said fervently.

"Really, Sam? How much?" I inquired.

"A l-lot!"

"Are you sure?"

She slowly approached the bed. "Y-yes."

"Well...let's find out just how much 'a lot' really is. If he comes back...what's in the deal for me?"

"What do you want?"

I looked up at her. "Sam...you _know_ what I want."

"But...but-"

"Are you going to wear silk panties from now on?"

Very long pause.

"Yes."

"Every day?"

Long pause.

"Yes."

"What else are you going to do?"

Blank expression.

"Are you going to go panty shopping with me?"

"Argh! No!"

"Sorry, I didn't catch that."

She grabbed my arm. "Yes! I'll go! I promise!"

I smiled. "And when we do, what are you going to say to the sales clerk?"

This one stumped her completely. "Uh...what?"

I pulled her down on the bed next to me. "You're going to say-" and I whispered into her ear.

"No fucking way!" she yelled.

"Sorry, Sam...what was that?" I inquired, feigning confusion.

"No...I am _not_ saying that!" she repeated defiantly.

"You know...Buzz told me he might move out to the East Coast. He said he heard that New York City is very nice this time of yea-"

"Okay...I'll s-say it!" she agreed...

...caving in completely.

"You'll say...what, Sam?"

"I love wearing silk underw-"

"No, Sam...say it properly."

"But-"

"_Now_, Sam."

"No! There's no way I'm going t-"

"All right...no _say_...no _Buzz!_"

"I'll find him!" she declared defiantly.

"Oh, no you won't," I replied...

...with calm assurance.

"Oh, God, Carls, please, no! Please don't make me!" she implored...

...and I ignored. "Yes Sam. You have to. So tell me, right now, what you're going to say to her."

She squirmed. "Okay, okay! I'm going to say...Where are your white silk panties...I love wearing silk panties...they make me feel so...so..._I hate you, Carly Shay!"_

I raised my eyebrows, but answered impassively, "No, you don't...and you just messed up...completely...so now you're going to have to say it...all over again."

"No! Not that! I'm begging you!" she gasped...

...looking so distraught that I decided to show a little mercy. "Okay...not right this second...but when we're at the store you're going to."

"Yes! I will! I promise! Now where's Buzz!" she demanded frantically.

"All in good time, Sam. All in good time," I replied.

"But...you _promised!_"

"Yes, I did...and I'm going to get him for you. But before I can use him on you...there's something I have to do first."

"What's that?" she asked...

...and I looked down, meaningfully, at her panties.

She reached down...

...but I stopped her. "No, Sam..._I_ have to do it."

"Okay, Carls...go ahead."

"Go ahead and...what?"

"Take them off me."

"Take what off you?"

"You know what I mean," she answered...

...with a definite edge of panic in her voice.

I looked at her in 'confusion'. "I'm not sure that I do, Sam...I need you to tell me."

"Take off my underwear."

"What was that?"

Her face fell. "Come on, Carls..._not again!_"

"Okay, Sam...maybe some other time...or maybe not," I replied...

...turning away.

She grabbed my arm. "No! Now! Please!"

I looked at her in mock surprise. "Wow! Buzz sure is addictive, isn't he? If you can't delay your gratifica-"

"_Please_, Carls! _Please!_"

"I'll think it over," I replied...

...in a very non-committal tone of voice.

As she opened her mouth to continue our argument...

...I pushed her down onto her back ...

...positioned her feet flat against the mattress...

...and spread her bent legs...

...and then...

...reaching down between them...

...I traced my finger lightly up and down her silk-covered crotch.

I looked down into her eyes and shook my head. "Sam...Sam...Sam...you're _so_ wet. And wouldn't it be a shame if there was absolutely nothing that we could do about it...

"...ever again?"

"_Carls, stop torturing me!"_

I leaned down next to her ear. "You _know_ what I want in return."

"Please, no! _Please_ don't make me!"

"Yes Sam...you have to. Right now."

"B-but...I don't_ want _to ask you to-"

"Oh no, Sam...you're not going to ask me."

Barely had her face registered an expression of relief before I stated, "You're going to_ beg_ me."

"I'm not!"

I stopped moving my hand and shrugged. "Okay, Sam...you win. Oh, and by the way, all of this arguing has worn me out...so I'm going to spend the rest of the day asleep. Good night," I said...

...rolling over onto my side...

...with my back to her.

She grabbed my shoulder. "No! Please! H-help me first...before you go to sleep!"

Back still turned, I said, doubtfully, "Well, I don't know, Sam...I'm pretty tired."

"Please...I'll s-say it!" she assured me...

...and, as she did, I clearly heard the edge of desperation...

...and the resignation in her voice.

I rolled back over to face her. "Are you sure, Sam?"

"Y-yes...I will...I promise," she assured me...

...thoroughly defeated.

"Okay then...what do you want?" I asked.

"I want to...h-have an orgasm."

"You do? How badly?"

"V-very badly."

"And _how_ do you want to have it?"

"With...Buzz."

"And why can't we use Buzz yet, Sam?"

"Because I'm w-wearing...p-panties," she answered...

...her voice shaking badly.

I nodded. "That's right...you are. And what did you do to your panties, you nasty girl?"

Silence.

"Sam, I'm going to count to three...and if you haven't answered me by then-"

"No! Not that! I'll tell you! I...got...excited and got them...wet."

"How wet?"

"They're...soaked."

"No Sam...say it properly."

"My...panties are soaked," she replied...

…cringing.

"Very good Sam. What are we going to do about that?"

"I'm going to ask you-"

"No Sam...the right way."

"Carls...please take my...wet panties off me."

"I'm sorry, Sam...what was that?"

"Aw come on! Not ag-"

"Yes, Sam. Again."

"Carls...please take my wet panties off me..._please!_ I'm begging you!"

"Why should I?"

"Because I...don't like wearing wet panties."

"I don't know, Sam...all of this has made me so unbelievably hot that, right now, all I can think about is how wet my own panties are...and badly_ my own _body is aching...and how-"

She got the message...

...and rolled over, trapping me under her, and pinning my arms.

"Sam, what are you doing?" I asked...

...even though it didn't take a genius to figure it out.

Reaching down, she yanked my sweatpants down over my hips...

...past my knees...

...and completely off me.

Flinging them to one side...

...she sank down on top of me...

...and attacked my tongue with her own.

A short while later (no idea how long...I lost all sense of time)...

...she came up for air...

...shifted her body off to one side of mine...

...and wiggled her hand under the waistband of my panties.

Without a word...

...I opened my legs...

...and seconds later...

...her fingers were sliding up and down the inside of my vulva...

...on a thick cushion of slick wetness...

...because my highly-aroused body had released such a heavy flow of vaginal fluid.

It felt so incredible...

...that, despite my former resolve...

...I couldn't wait any longer...

...so I flung my arm over the side of the bed...

...reached under it with my hand...

...and pulled out Buzz.

Her jaw dropped. "He was under the bed the whole time?"

"Uh...yeah," I admitted.

"Bitch!"

"That's_ Mr_. Bitch to you, Puckett!" I corrected her.

With a look in her eyes that promised revenge...

...in the very near future...

...she resumed fingering me...

...enthusiastically...

...savagely...

...until I absolutely couldn't take it any more. "Please, Sam! Now!"

Amiably (which was surprising, considering how badly I'd been torturing her for the last hour), she reached across the bed...

...and then leaned over me...

...waving what was in her hand. "Carls, look who's back! It's our friend, Buzz, and he wants to pay another visit to..."

But then, suddenly, I came to my senses.

I knew what my priorities were...

...and I was determined to finish what I'd started.

Sam stopped speaking when I, with one decisive move, took Buzz from her. Laying a hand against her chest, I pushed her back onto the bed. "No."

"No?"

"It's _your_ turn again."

"But...but last night I fell aslee-"

I shook my head. "Retroactive, Puckett."

And, before she could argue...

...I pushed her legs apart...

...and began to finger her clit through her panties again...

...and soon she was pushing her crotch up against them...

...hard.

Still moving my fingers, I leaned down. "Tell me how it feels."

"Oh, God...oh...ah...I_...uh!_"

"Tell me, Sam...tell me about how much you love it..._in graphic detail_."

"I-"

"Tell me why you keep wearing my panties."

"Because I-"

"_Why_, Sam?"

"B-because when you touch m-me through them...it f-feels really good! B-but..."

"But what, Sam? Tell me right now...or I'm going to sto-"

"No! Not that! I w-was just going to say...please don't tell anyone I like them. I have to m-maintain my s-self respect."

"I know that you do...that's why I started this whole argument in the first place," I announced.

Her jaw dropped.

I smiled. "I started it because...if I_ force_ you to wear them...then it's not as bad for your self-image as if you wear them because you love them...is it?"

She looked down...

...and slowly shook her head.

I stopped moving my hand.

"Sam?"

She looked up at me. "Y-yes?"

"No more boxers, Sam. Not ever."

Very, very, long pause. "I know," she answered sadly.

"Are you sure you understand me?"

Very long pause. "Yes."

"And you know that I'm going to be checking...every day."

Long pause. "Yes."

I leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Good girl. and now, for promising to obey me, you are most definitely entitled to a reward."

Returning her look of confusion with a smile...

...I lowered Buzz between her legs..

...pressed his tip against her so firmly that it sank easily between her outer lips...

...pushing the crotch of her panties up into the gap between her 'special spot' and her left outer lip...

...and then...

...I turned him on...

...to 'high'.

As she began thrashing under him...

...I watched her very, very closely.

Because I wasn't going to let her finish.

Not yet.

Less than two minutes later...

...she grabbed onto my arms to steady herself. "Oh, God...oh, Carls...oh, my God! I'm g-gonna-"

...and I pulled him away. "No. You're not."

"Carls stop torturing me!"

I shook my head.

With an expression of crazed desperation...

...she grabbed wildly at Buzz...

...but I turned him off...

...rolled off the bed...

...shoved him back under it...

...grabbed her arm...

...hauled her to her feet...

...and pulled her back into the bathroom.

Looking into her eyes, I said, "Sam...let's pick up where we left off two weeks ago."

Without hesitation, she asked, "You mean?"

"Yes."

Oh, God...oh, God, I want to!" she gasped.

"Me, too," I admitted...

...leaning closer...

...and whispering, "With our panties on!"

With a shudder of arousal...

...and a smile of nervous anticipation...

...she turned away, leaned over the bathtub and turned the faucets on...

...and, while she adjusted the spray and tested the water to make sure it was hot enough...

... I pulled my panties down, removed my pad and tossed it into the wastebasket.

After I had pulled my them back up...

...she turned back to me...

...and held out her hands...

...and I took them...

...and we stepped into the shower.

After yanking the curtain shut, she pulled me under the spray to warm me up...

...and wet me down...

...and then...

...she pushed me against the wall...

...and pushed her lips against my neck...

...and, as her hands grabbed my butt...

...and pulled me to her...

...I thought I was going to pass out...

...as all the blood in my body...

...rushed down between my legs. "Oh...oh...OH..._OH!_ OH, SAM!"

She pulled back and looked into my eyes...

...with her drenched hair partially concealing her own. "I want you...and I've wanted this...for such a long time, Carls."

Too overwhelmed by my own arousal to answer...

...I was only able to nod.

I looked down.

My panties clung wetly to me...

...as hers did to her...

...and through their sheer opaqueness...

...I could clearly see the swell of her vulva...

...and the fine blond hair that covered it...

...and the sight of it made the entire length of my vagina shudder...

...inside and out.

I reached around and grabbed her butt...

...or, more accurately, the wet silk that was plastered to it...

...and lowered my face to her chest.

As I swirled my tongue around her nipples...

...alternating between her right and her left...

...she exhaled raggedly...

...and lowered her right hand.

I stood up so she could reach more easily...

...and then, her hand was wetly caressing between my legs.

Leaning back against the wall...

...I extended my leg forward...

...put my foot up on my shower bench...

...grabbed Sam's wrists...

...and puled her up onto my thigh.

She understood...

...and immediately began to thrust against it. "Oh, God...oh, God, Carls!"

She looked like she was getting close.

Too close...

...so, less than a minute later...

...I lowered my foot back onto the floor of the tub...

...picked up the bar of soap...

...worked up a serious lather with it...

...and then slid my hand down between her legs...

...inside her panties.

"Oh, God, Carls...Oh My Fucking God!" she exclaimed...

...as my fingers slid effortlessly lower...

...and then, changing direction...

...up inside her vagina...

...as far as they would go.

Pushing my thumb firmly against her clit...

...and my fingertips firmly against her cervix...

...I slowly, yet deliberately, began to finger-fuck her...

...my soapy hands slipping over her...

...and in and out of her...

...as she lost control of her body...

...and completely lost her mind.

As she swayed to one side...

...coming dangerously close to falling right out of the bathtub...

...I wrapped my other arm around her waist to steady her...

...and leaned her back against the wall. "Sam...touch me...please...I want you to...I_ need _you to," I whispered weakly.

Seconds later, I felt her grab the soap from me...

...and watched as she lathered up...

...and then slid her soapy hand down between my legs...

...on the outside of my panties.

Her fingers slid easily over me...

...thanks to the silk and the soap.

But, still, I wanted more.

A lot more...

...and, removing my hand from her vagina...

...I slowly pulled her panties off...

...hoping that she would follow my lead and do the same with mine.

She did...

...and I took her hand and moved it down between my legs.

She hesitated.

"Sam, _please..._I can't wait!" I urged. "Do to me what I just did to you! I want you feel your fingers moving inside me!"

She removed her hand from beteen my legs. "I can't do you that way. Doctor's orders."

"But...I need you to!" I exclaimed in disappointment.

She shook her head.

"Sam_...PLEASE_!"

"I...can't," she replied slowly...

...and stared down at our feet...

...for a very long time...

...obviously deep in thought.

Just as I was about to beg her again...

...she suddenly grabbed my wrist...

...pulled me out of the tub...

...grabbed a dark-colored towel...

...and hurried me back into the bedroom.

As she lay me on my bed...

...on my back...

...I begged, "Sam please help me!"

But she stared down at me...

...silently, motionless, and regretfully...

...which was_ not_ acceptable to me...

...so I grabbed her wrist...

...and forced her fingers downward...

...between my legs.

"Put them inside me!" I demanded.

"I can't," she repeated...

...with genuine regret in her voice.

I was near tears. "Sam,_ please!_"

"I _can't._ We both know I'm not allowed to!"

"Sam...I'm begging you...please! I want you to...so badly!" I implore her, between sobs.

She shook her head...

...but suddenly...

...as she looked into my tear-filled eyes...

...something in her own eyes changed...

...and, with a look something like comprehension in them...

...she got up off the bed...

...and left the room...

...soon returning with two dark washcloths...

...one wet...

...and one dry...

...and, immediately...

...I knew what she had in mind. "Sam..._no!"_

"Shh...you're already clean and I'm going to clean you again," she assured me. "Now open your legs.

Apprehensively, I did...

...and she cleaned between them again...

...very carefully.

And then...

...she rolled over on top of me...

...and started to kiss her way down my stomach...

...and, even though I was unbelievably overwhelmed with crazed, urgent desperation...

...I managed to come to my senses. "Sam...no! We can't! I'm still bleeding!"

"Shh...you're clean...and it's only going to be up at the top...and not for very long...and, Carls, I want_ so much _to make you happy."

"N-no...I don't want you to!" I insisted.

She crawled back up and looked directly down into my eyes. "Yes you do...and we both know it. And don't worry...I'm going to take precautions."

Before I could ask exactly what that meant...

...she crawled back down and opened my legs again.

Reaching for the dry washcloth, she folded it and, spreading my outer lips apart with the fingers of her left hand...

...she gently pushed the folded edge of it in between them...

...down at the bottom...

...at the entrance to my vagina.

To keep me from leaking.

Holding it firmly in place...

...she peeled the top edge of it away from me...

...completely exposing my clitoris...

...and then, while I waited...

...incapable of speaking

...incapable of moving...

...incapable of breathing...

...she lowered her face to me...

...and, seconds later...

...she began to caress my clitoris with her tongue.

And, as she found my 'special spot'...

...and pushed her tongue firmly - and deeply - against it...

... it took everything I had not to scream.

For someone who doesn't seem to exert much effort to learn anything...

...Sam is a remarkably quick study...

...usually mastering all sorts of things with a minimum of time and effort...

...and this skill was no exception.

As her tongue swirled...

...and I squealed and squirmed...

...I felt the washcloth being pulled away from the entrance to my vagina...

...and her finger taking its place.

"Please, Sam..._Please! _Just a little bit!" I begged.

Her tongue stopped moving momentarily.

She was thinking it over.

And then...just as I was about to lose my mind from the frustration of uncertainty...

...she began to enter me...

...not with one, but with _two_ fingers...

...as her tongue resumed massaging my clit.

And then...

...once they were completely up inside me...

...very, very, very carefully...

...her fingers began to slide in and out of me.

I threw my head back...

...and tried to scream...

...but failed...

...because I had completely lost all control over my voice...

...and my entire body.

And then...

...just as I thought I was about to explode from spontaneous combustion...

...her tongue stopped...

...and her head lifted...

...and, fingers still inside me...

...she reached for Buzz...

...and lowered him between my legs...

...and turned him on.

And, less than ten seconds after she pressed him up against me...

...it happened.

"Oh, My Gawwwwwwwwwwwwwd!"

"That's it, Carls! I've got you! Just go with it!" she assured me...

...as if I had any choice in the matter.

A minute and a half later...

...once I had completely exhausted myself...

...in every sense of the word...

...I lay there...

...totally incapable of moving...

...for God knows how long...

...while she waited...

...silently...

...but with eyes pleading.

Finally, coming to my senses...

...I realized that I had to put an end to her suffering...

...and, summoning every last bit of energy in me...

...I reached up...

...grabbed her sides...

...and rolled both of us over...

...pinning her under me.

I spread her legs...

...and then...

...heart pounding...

...I inched my way down her chest...

...down her stomach...

...and down...far down...between her legs.

The first time is really, really scary.

But I tried to focus, instead, on how much I love her...

...as I reached forward with my right hand...

...gently moved her swollen lips apart...

...and touched her with my tongue.

It wasn't as bad as I had thought it would be.

Flicking it teasingly, back and forth across her clitoris...

...she began to alternately squeak and squeal...

...in a high pitched tone that I've never heard from her before.

I pulled back. "Sam...tell me what to do," I requested...

...but she couldn't...

...she was almost crying.

So, instinctively, I picked up Buzz...

...lowered him between her legs...

...pressed him into her 'special spot'...

...and turned him on.

"Oh, God...oh I'm gonna die!" she screamed.

"No you're not," I replied with a smile, "...you're gonna cum!"

"Please, Carls...please help me! You can do anything you want to me right now..._anything!_"

Nodding, I began to move Buzz's tip in tight, circular motions against her clit.

"Oh...oh_ God_!" she yelled.

Just as she grabbed my arms...

...obviously dangerously close to climaxing...

...I pulled Buzz away.

"Carls, no! Please not again! _Please!_"

I leaned over her. "Are you going to wear panties from now on?"

"Yes," she replied...

...with absolutely no hesitation.

"Every day?" I inquired.

"Yes...I swear! I want to wear them! I love wearing them...but please don't tell anyone! Now please help me cum..._please!"_

"No, Sam...not yet"

"_PLEASE! _I did everything you told me to! I said everything you told me to! Please help me!"

"Sorry no," I replied...

...and, as tears began to well up in her eyes...

...I did what I'd been intending to do all along...

...despite what I'd just said.

I pushed Buzz's tip against her...

...tightly.

After that...

...it was only a matter of seconds.

"Oh no...oh please...oh God...oh Carls...oh God...oh Caaaaarls!"

She grabbed onto my arms...

...and I felt hot, molten 'Sam' flood out of her vagina...

...drenching my fingers...

...as she cried and thrashed against me.

For well over a minute.

Finally, as she fell backward onto the mattress...

...completely, totally, utterly spent...

...I set Buzz aside...

...and pulled her close...

...kissing her...

...tasting myself on her lips.

As soon as she had regained control of her motor skills...

...she rolled me over onto my back and rested her head on my chest.

"I...love you, Carls."

I nodded. "Sam...let me get up for a minute. I need to go to the bathroom and get a clean-" I began...

...but she shook her head. "You've been wearing pads, non-stop, for the past three weeks, and I know how much you hate them. You need a break from that...so, tonight...I want you to sleep naked."

I thought it over. "I...don't know," I said doubtfully.

"It'll be fine," she reassured me. "There's a towel under y-...wait...I'll be ri-"

Without bothering to finish her sentence...

...she got up off the bed...

...went into the bathroom...

...and returned with second dark towel. "Lift your hips, Carls."

I did...

...and she slid the folded towel under them...

...directly on top of the first one. "There...now you definitely don't have to worry," she announced...

...confidently...

...as then, she slowly and carefully lowered her naked body onto mine.

"I love you...so much," I whispered.

She looked down at me...

...in silence...

...but her eyes said it all.

Soon after, she may have actually responded...

...but, if she did, I didn't catch her answer.

I had already passed out.

XXXXX

A/N: Please review.


	15. Chapter 15

"_Aaaaaaaah! Oh, Gaaaaaaawd! It Burrrrrrrns!"_

Dr. Anderson stopped swabbing the interior of my cervix...

... and looked up to the top end of the exam table...

...and directly into my eyes. "Sorry, Carly, but I have to dissolve the build-up of dried blood on your stitches, so I can see to remove them."

"Dissolve them with _what_...flaming shots of rum?" I gasped...

...as I felt Sam's hands tighten around my own.

"No," he replied patiently, "It's a solution similar to hydrogen peroxide...and I'm almost finished."

Aching from the dilation, and stinging from the...the...whatever that liquid-fire-crap was...

...I bit back a sarcastic reply.

I needed to save my strength.

Dr. Anderson picked up a pair of long-handled scissors from his tray...

...and, knowing what was going to happen next...

..I reached up, grabbed Sam's shoulders, and dragged her down onto my chest.

"Don't worry, Cupcake...I'm right here," she assured me, sliding her hands between my back and the table; and resting her head against the front of my shoulder as my arms went around her.

"Are you ready, Carly?" Dr. A. inquired.

"Y-y-yes," I replied...

...even though I most definitely wasn't.

He nodded. "Okay then. Try to stay relaxed...this is going to pinch a little."

"_Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!"_

I saw his face appear again between my legs. "Okay, they're all out," he announced.

"Wait Doc, I only counted thirty-six_ 'ows',"_ Sam replied 'helpfully'.

He bent back down and checked. "You're right, Sam...I missed one. Okay, Carly, hold still."

"_OW!" _I yelled...

...so loudly...

...that Sam flew straight up off my chest.

"Uh, does everything look...you know..._okay_?" she asked him tentatively.

"Come see for yourself," he replied, with a smile.

She looked at me...

...questioningly.

I nodded at her...

...wearily.

And, without further invitation...

...she walked down to the lower end of table...

...and then, to my complete embarrassment...

...her face sank down out of sight.

And while she stared...

...in what I'm sure was open-mouthed fascination...

...for what seemed _forever_...

...I made a mental note to insist on viewing a similar 'exhibition' of _her_ plumbing...

...the very next time _she _was on the table getting a check-up.

(And that's one appointment you can be sure I kept.)

(After a (predictably) frantic fight from her.)

(Which_ I _won.)

(Ha-ha!)

Nearly a minute later...

...as I looked downward, between my legs...

...I saw the top of her head move even closer to my vagina...

...and felt her hair brush against the insides of my upper thighs...

...as she zoomed in with her right eye.

"Hey, Carls, reach behind your head, grab my backpack, and toss me my cell ph-"

"_No!"_ I yelled_, "You are NOT taking a picture of it!"_

She stood up like a shot...

...and her disappointed gaze met my indignant glare.

"But...I really wan-" she persisted.

I shot her _'The Look_'.

She gave up.

_Immediately._

She stepped aside as Dr. Anderson approached that end of the table again.

He smiled at me. "Well you've healed nicely...but are you feeling any itching or burning right now...up inside?" he inquired.

"Uh, yes...a little of both," I admitted...

...slightly embarrassed.

He nodded. "Yes there's a little irritation in there. It appears that you have the beginnings of a yeast infection. I'm going to take a culture now...to be sure," he announced...

...picking up a long, swab-type thing from his tray.

Sam took one look at it...

...and immediately sprinted back up to the top end of the table...

...and flung herself back across my chest...

...holding me very, very close to her...

...while he scratched away at my insides with it.

Fortunately, it didn't take long.

Dr. Anderson set the swab aside...

...and then...

...he _finally _removed the speculum. "If you do have a yeast infection, and I'm pretty sure that you do, it's most likely due to all the antibiotics you've been on...which you can now stop taking," he said.

"That's a relief," I interjected...

...but...

...as usual...

...the ordeal was still _far_ from over.

He shook his head. "I'm sure you think so, but still, the infection is going to run its course...which means that it's going to get much worse before it gets better...and that means that you're now looking at another three or four days of additional, very unpleasant discomfort."

Exasperated, I flung my arms up toward the ceiling. "Oh, God! Will my suffering never end?"

He raised his eyebrows. "Have you considered a career on the stage? You'd make a very convincing Desdemona."

"Ha-ha. Very funny," I replied.

"I wasn't joking."

"Oh."

"So," he continued, "as far as the yeast infection is concerned, if the culture tests 'positive', then I want you to pick up some Scatistat on your way home, and start using it tonight, before you go to bed."

"Okay."

"And be sure to use the entire five day supply...even if your symptoms clear up before then," he advised.

"I will," I replied...

...with a resigned sigh.

He nodded, and then removed his gloves and headed for the sink. "Don't get up yet...I'm not finished with you."

"I wouldn't dream of getting up, Doc...I'm having w-a-a-a-a-a-y too much fun!" I retorted.

He ignored me completely.

I love this man.

Soon, Dr. A. walked back from the far side of the room...

...and directly over to Sam...

...and then...

...he extended his hand. "Well done, Sam. You are to be congratulated for taking such good care of-W_hoa!_" he exclaimed...

...as she slapped his hand to one side...

...grabbed him around the waist...

...and lifted him several inches of the floor...

...in a crushing hug.

"I don't know how to thank you...you saved her life," I heard her mumble against the front of his lab coat.

"All in a day's work," he replied, with a smile...

...as she set him back onto his feet.

He turned to me...

...and, without delay...

...(and much to my surprise)...

...he removed the sheet that covered me...

..._and_ my gown...

...and then, as I lay there...

...completely naked...

...he returned to the far end of the table...

...and lowered my legs from the stirrups.

Walking back up to the top of the table...

...he stood by my left shoulder...

...and looked down at me. "Did I ever mention that I got my start in the medical field as a physical therapist?"

"Uh...no," I admitted.

"Well, I did," he continued, "and, after all you've been through during the past month...I think you're entitled to a little compensation."

"Cash only," Sam advised him. "We don't accept personal checks."

I reached over and downward...

...and smacked her butt...

...hard.

She jumped.

He laughed.

But, before I could ask what he meant by 'compensation'...

...his hands were under my shoulders...

...and he was gently turning me...face down...onto the table.

"Uh, whatcha doin', Doc? I asked...

...even though I was pretty sure what the answer was going to be.

As he pushed my hair to one side, he replied, "It's been a pleasure taking care of you ladies...both of you...and I'm hoping that you'll both return...and Carly...I don't want your last memories of this, uh...adventure to be...getting burned and pinched," he replied...

...and then...

...he lowered his hands onto my upper back...

...and began doing the most indescribably-amazing things to my shoulders...

...and, less than a minute later...

...I felt myself dissolving into a huge puddle of mush...

...because...

...this guy is really, really,_ really_ good.

He worked his way, lowly, methodically, and expertly from my neck down to my ankles...

...and then, he turned me face upward once again...

...and looked at me questioningly. "It's up to you," he stated, and...

...without any hesitation whatsoever...

...I nodded.

And he set to work on the front of my body...

...and, as he did...

...I felt every last shred of stress leave me...

...and wished that the feeling and the moment would never end.

But then, as his hands moved from my upper arms onto my chest, I sneaked a peek over at Sam...

...realizing, after the fact, that she might not appreciate him 'infringing' on her 'territory'...

...but, much to my relief...

...she just stood, watching him passively...

...and almost gratefully.

All in all...

...it was a phenomenal ten minutes...

...of pure heaven...

...but, as much as I was enjoying myself...

...all good things must come to an end...

...and, all too soon, he had finished with my feet and was back at the sink, scrubbing up once more...

...while I lay there, jello-like, and let Sam help me back into my gown.

Walking back around to my left shoulder, he extended his hand...

...I took it...

...and he helped me sit up. "There...I hope you enj-"

Not waiting for him to finish...

...I reached forward...

...flung my arms around his chest...

...and pulled him to me.

Apparently completely surprised and unsure how to react, he stood, completely motionless, until I heard Sam say, "Go ahead, Doc, it's fine...I guarantee that she's not going to let go until you do."

And then, I felt him move closer...

...and hug me...

...and give me a little peck on the top of my head.

Finally, I released him.

"Oka-a-a-a-y...now that we've got all the sentimental sappiness out of our systems, it's back to business," he stated. "Carly, I'm going to take your culture down to the lab, so take your time getting dressed...and I'll see you two in my office, in about thirty minutes."

He left.

Less than ten minutes later, Sam and I entered his office...

...and I sank down into one of the huge leather armchairs in front of the desk...

...quite cheerfully...

...thinking to myself that this ordeal is so close to being over...

...and that I'll soon be able to forget all the pain and humiliation that I've been forced to endure.

A hand caressing my hair snapped me out of my reverie...

...and I looked up...

...to see Sam standing in front of me.

"Almost over, Kid," she announced...

...as if she'd read my mind.

Standing up, I wrapped my arms around her neck and looked directly into her eyes. "I love you," I whispered.

She gave me a fast kiss...

...and then pulled back and smiled.

"Sam?"

She hesitated...

...but only for a second. "Yeah?"

Smiling back...

...I leaned in, and kissed her in return.

And it_ wasn't _a fast one.

She participated...

...for maybe half a minute...

...but then, she gently took hold of my upper arms and separated us. "Cupcake, this isn't the time_ or_ the place."

"You heard what the doctor said," I corrected her. "He won't be back for another fifteen minutes...and that's more than enough time for...for..."

I threw off her arms, pulled her close, and kissed her again.

At first she tried to protest...

...both verbally _and_ physically...

...but then...

...as my lips continued to caress hers...

...slowly...

...I felt her body relaxing against mine...

...slowly...

...and her arms pulling me closer...

...slowly.

My hands left her shoulders...

...reached around her waist...

...and slid down inside the back of her pants...

...and, when I felt what she was wearing under them...

...I gasped. "Oh, my God...oh, my God..._Yes!_"...

...and her body stiffened in apprehension...

...warning me that she was considering going on the defensive...

...but, as continued to caress her slippery backside...

...lingeringly and sensually...

...she betrayed herself...

...unmistakably and completely...

...by the way she was now squirming under my hands.

And she didn't try to stop me.

Not at all.

Five minutes later, and with my hands still moving, I whispered, Sam? Remember what I told you was going to happen to you...when we're out in public together...and you're wearing silk panties?"

"I..._I_-" she began...

...but I pulled back and shook my head. "Shh. Do you remember every single detail of what I told you was going to happen...and do you realize that it already_ is_ starting to happen...right now...between your legs?" I reminded her.

"Uh...I...uh-"

Your vagina is throbbing right now...isn't it? And your outer lips are getting hot and swollen...and that means that you're already wet...aren't you, Sam?"

No response.

"Sam...answer me."

It was not a request.

"Uh...a little," she admitted...

...avoiding my eyes.

I smiled knowingly. "And you can feel that wetness seeping out of you and into you panties...right now...can't you?"

She flinched, and, instead of answering...

...she took a step backward...

...and looked at the floor.

"Sam...you're aroused...and we both know it," I insisted. "I can see clearly, from the way your pelvis is moving, that your vagina is having contractions...and I know what happens when a girl's vagina has contractions...and you do too...don't you?"

Silence.

I took a step forward. "Answer me, Sam...tell me what those contractions are causing to happen between your legs."

More silence.

"Sam?"

Still looking at the floor, she began, "C-carls...I...we have to st-"

"No, Sam...I'm not going to stop...not until you tell me."

The way she then began shaking answered the question for her...

...and, as I looked downward...

...I saw her hips jerk forward and upward slightly...

...not once, but several times.

"That's it, Sam...keep going," I whispered. "You're so aroused right now...and it feels really, really good...doesn't it?"

She shook her head...

...violently.

I took another step forward...

...completely closing the space between us. "Oh yes you_ are_, Sam...and we both know that it _does_," I insisted, putting my hands on her upper arms...

...and holding them tightly.

She looked up at me. "No, don't-"

"Yes, Sam...I'm not letting go of you until you tell me..._everything_. First things first...you're really aroused right now...aren't you? I demanded...looking into her eyes.

She didn't respond.

"Am I going to have to find out for myself?"

Her body jerked in fear. "N-no!"

"Then I expect an answer, Sam...right now."

"I...I..._am_," she admitted...

...finally.

"Very good, Sam," I replied softly. "Now, I want you to tell me how that _feels_...every single detail of it...and, if your description and/or your level of arousal are not to my satisfaction, then I'm going to have to-"

She looked at me in alarm. "N-no...I-I d-don't want you to!"

I tilted my head closer to hers. "Yes you do, Sam...and we both _know_ that you do...but that's beside the point. Now, I want you to tell me exactly what you feel between your legs...right now.._.in detail._"

Still shaking, she began, "I...I...it f-f-feels like...like-"

She stopped, and...

...unable to articulate an answer...

...she reached up with her left hand...

...took hold of my right one...

...and removed it from her shoulder.

And then...

...she froze.

"Sam...I'm waiting," I reminded her...

...sternly.

Trembling violently, she nodded, and then...

...she separated the index finger of my right hand from the others...

...wrapped her left hand around it...

...and started to squeeze it...

...sporadically...

...yet very, very forcefully. "It f-feels...like this," she gasped.

And I felt my knees tremble...

...as my own vagina began to do the same...

...just as forcefully.

But, still...

...it wasn't nearly enough.

For either of us.

"Sam, what are all those strong contractions causing to happen?" I asked.

She bit her lower lip and turned her face away.

"Sam, I expect an answer," I reminded her. "They're pushing all of that wetness out of you...right now...aren't they?"

Her cheeks now a vivid shade of crimson, she closed her eyes and shook her head.

I looked at her in disapproval. "Sam...I don't like it when people don't tell me the truth. I know it's an embarrassing thing to admit...so I'm going to give you one more chance...and I expect the truth this time. All of those contractions are forcing all of that lubricating discharge from your arousal out of your vagina, aren't they? You can feel it leaking out of you, right now, and soaking into your panties...and it's making them completely and embarrassingly-wet...isn't it?" I asked...

...pressing my body up against hers...

...and turning her face to back mine. "Yes or no, Sam?"

And then...

...as her entire body trembled against mine...

...she lowered her gaze to the floor...

...and nodded.

"Yes...I know that they are," I informed her. "Tsk, tsk, soaking-wet panties..._and _while we're out in public! I'm going to have to punish you for that, you naughty girl."

Before the expression of alarm had crossed her face...

...and before she even thought to try to escape...

…I threw my arms around her...

...holding her tightly...

...and shoved her back against the desk. "Well, I haven't decided exactly what to do about it yet...but there are several options I'm considering," I informed her.

Her eyebrows shot up...

...and her jaw dropped...

...as she looked back at me...

...silently and fearfully.

"I could, for example, force you to lie...face-down...on this desk, and then pull those wet panties down, and spank you..._hard_...right here and right now."

"D-don't you dare!" she gasped.

I pretended to think it over. "Or...I could tell Dr. Anderson that you wet your pants...again...and that you can't help it; you do it all the time...and he'll think I mean yhat you_ peed_ your panties...and then he'll tell you that, from now on, you're going to have to wear diap-"

"You..._you wouldn't!_" she exclaimed.

"Wouldn't I?" I countered...

...raising an eyebrow.

She opened her mouth...

...but before she could answer, I continued, "I _love_ that your panties are extremely wet right now. Do you have any idea how hot you're making me...just thinking about it?"

"N-no," she admitted.

"Well...you're about to find out!" I exclaimed...

...grabbing her hips...

...and lifting her, with her arms and legs flailing, onto the desk.

"Stop it, Carls...we're gonna get caught!" she hissed...

...as I climbed up on top of her and pushed her down...purposefully and firmly...onto her back.

"No, we won't," I insisted, "because, even though I'm going to get you so incredibly whipped up right now...and so Incredibly, Unbelievably Wet...I'm not going to let you orgasm...no matter how much you beg me...

"...because we don't want you to scream and get us busted...

"...so, instead, you're just going to have to carry your raging, _aching_ hard-on around...

"...inside your dripping-wet panties...

"...for the rest of the day...

"...hoping, the entire time, that no one can see the huge stain between your legs...

"...or smell your arousal...

"...until we get home...

"..._which could be hours from now_...

"...and then..._maybe_ I'll show some mercy...and help you get rid of both your soaking-wet panties...

"..._and_ your aching hard-on...

"..._maybe!_"

Staring back at me...

...paralyzed and alarmed...

...at both my determination...

...and her own obvious and painful arousal...

...which was already _well_ underway...

...she tried to sit up...

...but I grabbed both of her shoulders...

...shoved her back down...

...and then, reaching down with my right hand...

...I got her pants unbuttoned and unzipped...

...almost effortlessly...

...and slid my hand down inside them.

Apparently still terrified that we were going to get caught...

...she continued to struggle...

...until I slowly ran my hand over every inch of white silk that it could reach...

...and, as I did, she yielded to me completely...

...and began to moan softly...

...and to twist under me...

...in alarmed, ashamed, uncontrollable...

...anticipation.

Still lying on top of her...

...I extended my index finger...

...and traced it up and down the crack of her vulva several times...

...before...

...pressing it into her...

...pushing her already-wet panties up between her abundantly wet outer lips...

...right against the left side of her clitoris...

...when, suddenly (and tragically)...

...she somehow came to her senses.

Reaching down between her legs...

...on the outside of her pants...

...she grabbed my hand through them...

...restraining it. "Carls...behave yourself!"

"Never!" I said defiantly...

...but, suddenly, she wasn't looking at me...

...she was looking past my shoulder.

"Dr. Anderson...it's not what it looks like!" she exclaimed.

Horrified, I immediately pushed myself up off her body, spun around on my knees, and looked behind me...

...and saw...

_...the still-closed door_...

..._and nothing else_...

...as she weaseled her way out from under me...

...and jumped down off the desk.

In a flash, she had zipped her pants up...

...dragged me off the desk and onto my feet...

...and pushed me back down into my chair.

But I was still far from finished.

"You filthy cheater!" I said indignantly...

...as she smiled triumphantly, and wordlessly, back at me.

As she flung herself down into the chair next to mine, I realized that it was...

...time for a change in tactics.

"Sam...how wet are your panties right now? And how badly does what's inside them..._ache?_" I inquired...

...hoping to remind her of our Number One priority...

...forcing her to reconsider her spoil-sport decision...

...and to let me continue having my way with her...

...but, unfortunately...

...her attention was now riveted to the huge oil painting of a polo match that was hanging behind the desk. "I've never heard of Andrew McKenzie, but he's a pretty good artist," she announced...

...in a fairly conversational tone.

"I'm a pretty good artist, too, Sam...I can do things with my hands that will leave you speechless with open-mouthed admiration!" I informed her...

...leaning over in her direction and her and giving her a Very Meaningful Look...

...which she ignored...

...as she continued to stare straight ahead.

"Carls, is it just me, or does that horse over there on the left look kind of cross-eyed?"

"Sam...I want to toss you up onto the desk again...and do things to _you_ that will cross _your _eyes!" I announced.

Still looking at the wall behind the desk...

...she cocked her head to one side. "Hmm...maybe this McKenzie guy isn't so talented after all...player number four...his right bicep looks bigger than his left one."

"Sam...after I've finished with you, my right bicep will be bigger than my left...from the strenuous-"

Dr. Anderson walked in and sat down behind his desk...

...and I did my best to shift my focus from the dull, persistent throb that I had deliberately cultivated between my legs...

...and onto him.

He turned to me. "Okay, bad news first. Yes, you do have a yeast infection brewing...so don't forget the Scatistat."

I sighed. "I won't."

He nodded. " And I want you to be very careful about your personal hygiene. For example, make sure that you and Sam don't share the same towels...so you don't pass the infection back and forth between you."

I sighed again. "I will."

He turned to Sam. "And while we're on the subject, Sam...do _you_ have any itching or burning, either up inside your vagina or in your vulv-"

"No!" she said...

...so quickly...

...that he frowned. "Are you sure about that? While you're here, maybe we should test-"

"Nope! Not at all! I'm fine! No need to look!" she exclaimed.

I looked over at her. "Sam, don't you remember what you promised me? About-"

"I'm okay! I swear! Have you ever seen me scratch my crotch? I don't feel any-"

Dr. Anderson shook his head. "Methinks the lady doth protest too much," he replied. So, I want you to go back into the exam room and take off your-"

"No...really..I'm fine!" she insisted.

Dr. A. leaned forward. "Are you _sure_, Sam?"

She nodded vigorously.

He hesitated for a moment. "All right...I'll take your word for it."

She swiveled in her chair and looked at me. "I remember what I promised...it's just that I feel fine..._honest!_" she said...

...so sincerely...

...that I smiled. "Okay, honey...I believe you," I assured her.

"I do too, Sam," Dr. A. added..

Satisfied, he turned back to me. "Well, that's about it. Carly, do you have any questions?"

"Not really."

"Alright, then-" he began...

...but then, Sam spoke. "Actually, I was wondering, Phil...uh...may I call you Phil?"

He sighed. "If you must."

"Thanks, Phil...I just wanted to know...when can she start using tampons again?"

"Oh, I'm glad you asked me, Sam, that's an excellent question."

He turned to me. "Carly your next period is due...when?"

"Um...probably two or three days from now."

He leaned back in his chair. "I don't want you using them this month, because you need to be able to observe and evaluate the severity your flow. And I want you to understand that you can expect a considerably heavier menstrual flow than you've been accustomed to, both now _and _in the future, now that the blockage has been removed."

Depressed, but resigned...

...I nodded.

"But if everything looks otherwise normal...and you don't experience any unusually severe cramps...then next month you can begin using tampons," he said.

"Thanks Doc-"

"Uh, Phil...what do you mean by normal?" Sam interrupted.

He turned to her. "Excuse me?"

"I mean, when we're looking at it, what would be considered to look abnormal?"

(When _We're _looking at it? Oh God.)

He turned back to me. "Well, Carly, do you normally wear sanitary pads?"

I felt my cheeks flush. "Uh, no...I don't really like..."

"She can't stand those things...she's always used tampons," Sam chimed in.

I looked over at her with raised eyebrows...

...and she turned to me. "Well, it's true...remember? You told me that you _hate_ pads...

"Sam."

"...you said it's because you hate feeling wet and drippy all day long...

"Sam."

"And because you think it feels s-o-o-o gross...like you have a soggy, king-sized mattress between your legs...

"Sam!"

"...and because you hate having a huge, visible bulge in your...

"_SAM!_"

"Excuse me...Carly?" Dr. Anderson interjected...

...and, cheeks burning, I turned back to face him.

"What kind of pads were you using when you got out of the hospital?" he asked.

Now _totally_ embarrassed, I began, "Uh...I...uh-"

"She was using _Sometimes,_ extra long, super plus, heavy-flow, maximum protection, overnight absorbency maxi-pads...unscented..." Sam volunteered...

...to my complete mortification.

He nodded. "Alright, those are..."

"...oh yeah...without wings," she added.

"I see." He turned back to me. "Those are the highest-absorbency pads available, so I advise...and this is extremely important...if, at any time, you're completely soaking through one pad in less than an hour, then you need to call me right away...and, even if my schedule is full...I'll get you in, alright?"

Incapable of looking directly at him...

...due to my extreme embarrassment...

...I nodded...

...but he wasn't finished. "Also, even though your find them...uncomfortable, it's a good idea to keep wearing those, at least for the duration of your next period, since you don't know exactly how heavy your flow is going to be."

"Uh...okay."

"Not just at night," he continued, "I also want you to wear them during the day. Your system is going to be regulating itself, and your flow could increase suddenly and unexpectedly, and there's a very good chance that, without warning, you'll need the extra protection...and, if you're not prepared, that can lead to very embarrassing situations, such as leaking...especially if you're out in public."

I nodded, just wishing he'd wrap up this humiliating discussion...

...because I was now _dying_ to get the hell out of there.

Dr. Anderson smiled. "Well then, if that's everything-"

"Actually, Phil-" Sam interjected.

I held my breath.

What else could she _possibly_...

"Neither one of us has ever used Scatistat, so, what _is_ that stuff...is it like...vaginal suppositories?" she asked...

...as I slid w-a-a-a-y down into my seat.

He shook his head. "No, it comes in a tube...like toothpaste. After screwing the plastic applicator onto the end of the tube, and squeezing a pre-measured amount into it, Carly will insert it into her vagina, and press the plunger to release..."

Incredulous, I turned to her. "Uh, Sam, I think I can figure out how to-"

...but she was looking at Dr. Anderson. "What kind of discharge is considered normal?" she asked. "I mean...what's it supposed to look like?"

He leaned forward and rested his elbows on the desk. "Well...the Scatistat is a clear, petroleum-based gel, and, although it definitely _will be_ messy when it seeps out of her vagina, there won't be any unusual discoloration of..."

She held up her hand. "No, what I meant was...that neither one of us has ever had a yeast infection before...so I have no idea what it looks like. What might I see...discharge-wise...that should make me concerned?"

(Good God!)

"I understand," he replied. "Well, discharge from a normal yeast infection...also known as candidiasis...is usually a thick, pasty-white, grainy substance, with a consistency similar to ricotta cheese...although it can, at times, form into semi-solid clumps."

She nodded.

I cringed.

He continued, "Sometimes, however, it may have a slightly yellowish or grayish appearance...and a very unpleasant odor. It occurs, to varying degrees, both inside the vaginal canal and inside the vulva, which is another name for the external area of the vagina, and includes the clitoris and outer vaginal lips. The discharge from this fungal infection then exits from the vagina and collects on a woman's panties, and it can cause severe itching and burning, in both the inner and outer vagina, all the way up to the cervix.

"So, as the medication causes Carly's discharge to be expelled from the upper part of her vagina's interior, the irritation and inflammation that it causes is very likely to spread throughout the rest of her vaginal canal...and to her vulva as well."

I wrapped my arms around myself...

...and started rocking back and forth. This conversation isn't happening...it's not...it's not...it's not...

"Will there be a lot of it, Phil?" Sam inquired.

He spoke to me rather than to her. "Actually, yes...there is likely to be a substantial amount...but don't worry, Carly, the worst of it is going to occur during your period anyway, so you'll already be wearing an overnight-absorbency sanitary-"

"Urgg...argg..." I replied.

"Oh, yes, and that reminds me," he continued, "having a yeast infection during your period can make its symptoms considerably worse...so you'll want to keep the area as dry and sweat-free as possible. That means that synthetic fabrics are inadvisable so, Carly, I hope you don't wear polyester underpants."

"No, she wears silk," Sam announced quickly...

...and I slapped my hands over my face.

"That's fine...silk is a natural fiber...so it breathes," he stated.

"Phil is there anything else we should be aware of...you know, side effects, or whatever...related to her yeast infection?"

"Oh yes, actually," he answered. "Carly, do you normally douche?"

Face still in hands...

...and completely incapable of speech...

...I shook my head.

"Good. I don't recommend it," he replied.

"Phil...what about _medicated_ douches, in this case?"

"Actually, Sam, they're really not necessary...or advisable."

I peeked through my fingers as he leaned back in his chair and said with a smile, "Well, ladies, I hope I've answered all of your..."

"Actually Phil, there is one other thing I wanted to know."

(Oh, God..._what now_!)

"I was just wondering about her ability to have...vaginal sex."

"Enough, Sam! That's Enough! Stop it! Right Now! _Or Else!"_

Within seconds, I was on my feet and furious, because, suddenly, I knew what she was doing. It was payback...for me making her say 'panties' (over and over) last night.

And it wasn't the least bit funny.

I whipped around to face her, about to tell her to wipe the sarcastic smirk off her face when I saw her looking up at me...

...with the most serious expression that I'd_ ever_ seen...

...except for her eyes...

...which looked _so_ deeply hurt.

Like she was about to cry.

I felt a hand on my arm...

...and turned to see Dr. Anderson reaching across his desk. "Carly, sit down...please."

"But...I-"

"Carly...please."

I sat down.

"I think Sam is being very mature and responsible right now," he stated.

"_But-_"

"It's obvious that she cares about you very, very much...

"_But-"_

"...or she wouldn't be asking all these questions."

"_But-"_

"I realize that you may find all of this a bit...embarrassing...

(Understatement of the Century)

"...but I assure you I discuss this sort of thing, openly, with my patients...

"_But-"_

"...every day...

"_But-"_

"...and I also guarantee you that it will be kept in the strictest confidence...

"_But-"_

"...and that no part of it will ever leave this office."

"_I...I-"_

"Carly, just let me answer her questions. Please."

"I've created a monster."

"What Carly?"

"Nothing, Doc. "

I turned to look at her...

...and saw that her lower lip was trembling...

...and that she was blinking back tears.

Deeply ashamed of myself, and realizing that I owed her a very sincere apology...in the very near future...I turned back to face him. "G-go ahead," I said...

...not looking at her.

"Sam, what is it you wanted to know about sex?" he asked.

She sniffed and wiped her eyes on her sleeve. "W-well, Phil, have you ever heard of a _Zonoid _massager?"

"Yes!" he answered...

...immediately and enthusiastically. "Last year, I injured my shoulder, and I used a _Zonoid_ to treat my bursitis. It was very effective, and, I must say, it offered_ prompt, incredibl_y_-prof_ound relief."

And, as I pulled my jacket hood over my head...

...and yanked it down over my eyes...

...she perked right up. "Well, I'm glad that your bursitis is better. For the past two weeks, I've been using my Zonoid, externally, on Carly during sex, to stimulate her clitoral area, and bring her to screaming orgasms...quite successfully...every day...sometimes_ twice!"_

...and, suddenly, my knees were up under my chin...

"That's fine, Sam, he replied...

..._encouragingly. _ "Also, in the future, if she ever has painful menstrual cramps, I'm sure that an orgasm of that intensity would be very effective in helping to eliminate them...since it would push the clots which cause her cramps, out through her cervix. However, if you _are_ stimulating her during her period, make sure that you have a towel underneath her, because her flow can increase...suddenly and very substantially...when she orgasms."

...as I prayed for the chair to swallow me up.

"Good, idea, Phil...but I was just wondering-"

As I peeked out from under my hood...

...he frowned. "No, Sam. I don't think any woman could accommodate something of that size inside her..."

"No...I wasn't planning to try!" she assured him. "I was just wondering if it's okay to have vaginal sex with Carly using, uh...my fingers?"

"That will be alright," he assured her. "Just as long as she tells you if she experiences any pain when you do...and make sure that, instead of pushing your fingers straight up into her vagina, that you aim them more toward the small of her back, which is the actual angle of her vaginal canal."

Stunned, I grabbed onto the chair's padded arms...

...and held on as tightly as I could.

My God! They're sitting here talking about my 'personals' like they're discussing the weather! With no end in sight! Is this how they've been talking about me, every single day, for the past three weeks? No wonder she would never let me listen in! What_ else_ have they said to each other about my vagina? This is so incredibly surreal!

Sam leaned forward. "So, Phil, how many of my fingers do you think I could safely expect to-"

And, finally...

...my _last nerve_ was shot...

...and, without thinking...

...I flipped my hood off and turned to him. "And what if I want Sam to _pound me_...all night long...while she's wearing a strap-on?" I asked...

...my voice dripping with sarcasm.

They both whipped their heads around.

The expression on Sam's face was either 'incredibly shocked'...

...or 'incredibly hopeful' (I'm not sure which)...

...and, unsure whether I wanted to find out...

...I turned my attention back to Dr. Anderson...

...whose face was characteristically blank as he said, pleasantly and matter-of-factly, "Well, Carly, if your next period _isn't_ abnormal...then I see no reason why not...

My jaw dropped.

"...as long as your yeast infection has cleared up completely...

"...and as long as the phallus in no longer than eight inches long...

"...and as long as you use a_ generous _amount of lubricant...

"...and as long as, while Sam is penetrating you, she isn't thrusting too deeply, or too forcefully, into your..."

"AND I'M OUTTA HERE!" I yelled, springing up.

"So Phil, would it be safer...while the strap-on dildo is inside her vagina...to have her wrap her legs around my neck?"

"_AND SO ARE YOU!" _I yelled, grabbing a fistful of her shirt, and yanking her (effortlessly) to her feet.

She hurled her body forward. "Look Phil, thanks for everything," she began...

...as I pried her left hand from the edge of his desk.

"I'll be keeping an eye on her yeast infection..._and_ her periods...for the next couple of months," she promised...

...as I pried her right hand off.

"A very close eye on them," she continued...

...as I dragged her across the room.

"I promise to check her pads carefully...every single time she uses the bathroom," she added...

...as I removed the vice-like grip of her left hand on the door frame.

"And I'll look closely at her vagina, at least twice a day, to monitor her yeast infection" she continued...

...as I managed to yank her right hand off.

"If you don't hear from me by the end of two months; we'll see you this time next year," she stated...

...as I wrapped my arms around her mid-section...and pulled her completely up off her feet.

"Both of us!" she yelled...

...as I carried her rapidly through the reception area...

...and out the office door...

...and into the elevator...

...and then back out of the elevator...

...and, finally, out of the building.

Once my feet hit the sidewalk I decided it was safe to let go of her.

So I did.

The damp, early September air felt more than welcome on my flaming cheeks...

...as I sprinted toward the bus stop...

...wanting nothing more than to get home...

...into the sanctuary of my bed...

...and to hide under my covers...

...for the next six months.

Suddenly, I felt her arm around my shoulder...

...restraining me.

"Sam..._don't_-" I began.

"Shh...taxi...my treat," she said gently...

...as she steered me toward the cab stand in front of the hotel across the street.

She hopped into the first taxi in the line, and I got in beside her...

...and, seconds later, I was, thankfully, on my way to Bushwell Plaza...

...staring straight ahead...

...but not the least bit mad at her (I couldn't possibly be...

...due to the fact that I'd _encouraged _her, repeatedly, to be open and honest)...

...but, nevertheless...

...still feeling incredibly, extremely, overwhelmingly, embarrassed.

Not really looking in my direction, she reached over to my hands...

...which were clamped between my thighs...

...wiggled my right hand free...

...and pulled it over toward herself.

Still staring straight ahead, I moved it back...

...from her lap to my own...

...but she didn't let go...

...and, seconds later, it was over on her lap again...

...and it was holding...

...no!

_It couldn't be!_

And then...

...shocked, yet hopeful...

...I shifted my gaze over and downward, and saw...

...the oversized, zip-lock bag in my hand.

I looked up at her...

...and my jaw dropped.

"Sorry I didn't give it to you right after your first surgery, but I forgot all about it," she announced, somewhat guiltily.

"So did I," I admitted.

She smiled. "I found it in the freezer this morning, when I was looking for some ice cream to go with our Fat Cakes. The reason I didn't see it before now is because the package had slipped down behind those two bags of disgusting Brussels sprouts that Mrs. Benson gave Spencer for his last birthday."

"Yeah, she does have strange ideas when it comes to birthday gifts," I conceded. "But...when did you _fry_ it?"

"Well, do you remember that long shower you took this morning? I did it while you were in the bathroom."

"Oh. But...I didn't smell it when we were downstairs having breakfast," I answered.

"That's because I fried it over at Fredweird's apartment."

My eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Wow, after the waffle iron uh...'incident'...I cant believe that they gave you permission."

"They didn't...they weren't home...so I picked the lock," she replied casually.

"Why am I not surprised?" I asked...

...as we tore into the bag.

Less than ten minutes later...

...when the bacon was nothing more than a lovely, greasy memory...

...she leaned forward and asked the driver, "Could you please let us off at the entrance to Meridian Park?"

"Sure, Miss."

I turned to her. "If you don't have quite enough money to get us home, I can pay the rest of the fare."

She shook her head. "No, it's not that. I thought we'd stop at the pharmacy over on the other side of the park, on our way back to your place, to pick up the uh..._stuff_."

"Oh, yeah," I replied...

...my heart sinking at the unpleasant reminder.

"And don't you think you could use a little fresh air and exercise?" she asked.

"Most definitely," I agreed.

A few minutes later, she paid the driver...

...and then, we stepped out of the cab...

...and into Meridian Park.

Early September...what a fabulous time of year.

Especially when you know that school isn't going to start for another two weeks...

..thanks to the asbestos removal project that's currently underway there!

Even though the weather was still warm, the trees had already started to change color...

...and, as I walked under them...

...on my first outing since I'd had my first surgery...

...with My Sam walking next to me...

...I felt...

...I felt...

...just literally_ filled_ with...

..._Joy._

Oh, yeah...

...Sam.

I turned to her. "Uh...I...I'm really, really sorry that I yelled at you earlier."

She nodded. "And I'm really, really sorry that I embarrassed you, Carls. I didn't think you'd mind us having that discussion with him...especially after thT long lecture you gave me about being open, honest, and direct...and unashamed of our bodies."

Not slowing my pace, I said, "It's...okay. I'm not...you know...mad at you or anything."

She looked over at me. "Are you sure, Carls?"

I nodded. "You're right, you know...he _is_ our doctor...and we _should_ tell him everything."

"Yeah, he's okay..._and_ he's obviously, genuinely fond of us...but, hey...can you blame the man?" she replied.

I smiled and shook my head. "We have to be open and honest...from now on...with him _and_ with each other. I'm sorry that I haven't always...done that with you...but from now on I _will_...okay?"

"Yes...and I will, too," she promised.

Impulsively, I reached over and took her hand.

As I did, she glanced nervously around the park...

...and, even though it wasn't crowded...

...two or three people did seem to be looking in our general direction...

...but still, much to my relief...

...she held on.

"Is this...okay?" I asked tentatively.

"Y-yeah," she answered...

...still obviously nervous.

I gave her hand a squeeze...

...as we approached a divergence in the path...

...and took the right-hand one.

"C-carls?"

"Yes?"

"Uh, can I ask you something, without you...getting mad at me?"

"Of course you can," I assured her, "didn't we just promise each other that, from now on, we're going to communicate openly and honestly?"

She took a deep breath. "Okay...Carls...did you really mean what you said about the...you know...about the...strap-on?"

"Uh...Sam, can we discuss that some other time?" I asked.

Her face fell.

"Don't worry!" I added quickly, "I promise you that we _will_ discuss it...it's just that...after everything that's happened this morning...well, I just don't feel up to a debate right now."

(It was true...I _didn't _want to get into it at the moment...

...because I had _something else _on my mind...

...something _much more pressing_.)

She nodded understandingly. "All right...later. And, Carls, I promise _you_ that whatever we decide..._together..._that I'll be perfectly okay with it...either way...okay?"

I nodded. "Thank you. And Sam...I owe you another apology."

She looked at me in confusion. "For what?"

"For...for threatening to make you wait until we get home," I replied...

...tightening my grip on her hand...

...deliberately leading her off the path...

...across the lawn...

...and behind the huge granite war memorial that stood...

...in front of a massive stone wall...

...about twenty feet away.

She didn't ask questions...

...or protest in any way...

...as I gently lowered her onto the sunlit grass...

...onto her back.

Instead...

...she just looked up at me...

...silently and gratefully.

I slowly slid my hand between her knees...

...and, as she opened them...

...I looked down between her legs...

...at the huge, wet stain that covered almost the entire crotch of her khaki cargo pants...

...and realized, at that moment, that I really needed to show her how much I regretted doing that to her.

"Lift your hips for me, I whispered.

She did.

I unbuttoned and unzipped her pants, and then pulled them down as far as I could.

Her panties were absolutely drenched.

"Oh, Sam...I'm so sorry," I exclaimed softly...

...but she shook her head...

...and closed her eyes.

I rested my hand against her cheek. "Tell me what to do to fix this...and I promise I'll do it...right now...no matter what it is," I assured her.

Eyes still closed...

...she reached up, and her hands found my shoulders...

...and she pulled me down on top of her. "There's nothing you could do to me right now that I _wouldn't _want," she whispered.

And then, within seconds...

...I had pulled her panties down...

...and was pushing my way up inside her vagina...

...with _three _of my fingers.

She started to cry out...

...and threw her forearm across her mouth...

...managing to muffle her voice...

..._slightly_.

And then, as she lay on her back, on the warm September grass...

...with her body trembling under mine...

..I slowly, yet steadily entered her...

...fully and deeply.

And, as her hands molded themselves to the contours of my shoulders...

...my own vagina began to throb painfully...

...and I knew that I wanted her to penetrate me...

...just as deeply...

...and_ soon_...

...but not right now.

Because I had absolutely no right to even think about my own needs...

...not until I had taken care of hers.

_Not _until I had released her from this agonizing, unresolved state that I had forced her into.

Immediately, I started thrusting into her...

...shoving my palm against her clitoris with every forward thrust...

...hooking my fingers upward, and trying to hit her G-spot with every backward one...

...and, as I did, she pressed her forearm tightly against her mouth again...

...but still failed to silence the sharp exclamations of pain that were forcing their way out of it.

I leaned down. "Am I hurting you? Do you want me to-"

She moved her arm away from her face and tried to sit up. "No! Please...Carls...I w-want you to," she insisted...

...nearly sobbing.

I hesitated. "Are you sure, Sam?"

"Y-yes."

I leaned forward and kissed her...

...and then, I slowly lowered her down onto her back once more.

Her hands tightened on my shoulders...

...and she closed her eyes...

...and then...

..I began thrusting my fingers forward again...

...and she began crying.

Alarmed, I stopped...

...but, within seconds...

...both of her hands had released my shoulders...

...and wrapped themselves around my right wrist...

...and then...

...she began pushing my fingers into her again...

...and again and again...

..and, as I took over for her, and continued the momentum...

...her body shifted, painfully and non-stop, under mine...

...but, committed to doing what she wanted...

...what we both wanted...

...I kept going...

...even as hot tears spilled out of her eyes...

...rolling laterally across her cheeks...

...and losing themselves in her hair.

Soon...

...her right hand released my wrist...

...and I felt it snaking down my stomach...

...and then fumbling with my zipper.

Shifting my weight slightly...

...I reached down with my left hand and helped her...

...and, seconds later...

...I felt her badly-shaking fingers sliding down inside my panties...

...and then, as I leaned forward...

...I felt them sliding forward, into my outer lips...

...and then, as I lowered my pelvis...

...I felt two of them entering my vagina...

...deeply.

Once she had inserted them as far as she could...

...she began thrusting...

...hard...

...and I lowered my head...

...and closed my eyes...

...and bit my lower lip...

...as I heard the high-pitched, squeaking noises that she was making...

...knowing that she was getting very, very close...

...and that I was starting to.

So, I started pushing my hips forward against her fingers...

...forcefully...

...trying to catch up with her...

..._desperately_ wanting us to orgasm at the same time.

"Oh, God...oh no! Oh, No! Oh, Carls! I w-wan..._together! _Oh, Please!"

She wanted it too.

I slowed the speed of my fingers slightly, and leaned down. "I know you do...but it's okay," I assured her. "I know that you're ready..._right now,_" I gasped between thrusts.

"No! I d-don't w-wan...I want to wait for y-y-" she insisted.

I know that she was trying to.

But she couldn't.

Even though her fingers were frantically entering and exiting my vagina...

...trying to hasten my climax to coincide with hers...

...she got there first.

"Carls...I'm try-...I want to w-w-wait! Oh, no! No...not y-y-yet!" she exclaimed...

...resisting as hard as she could.

Now frantically slamming my pelvis forward against her fingers, I shook my head. "S-sam, you've already waited...w-way too long...so g-go ahead," I encouraged her...

...but still, she continued to fight against it. "No! I don't want...not yet...Oh! Oh, No! Oh, Please.._No!_ _Please, No!_ Oh, No! Oh, No-o-_o-oh My Gawwwwd!_" she cried...

...loudly...

...as I pushed as hard and as fast as I could against her fingers...

...desperately trying to catch up to her...

...fervently praying that there were no cops nearby...

...as I felt hot, wet, molten 'Sam' fill her vagina...

...and saturate my fingers.

And then...

...I stilled my hips.

It was too late.

Looking down at her...

...sprawled under me on the grass...

...with her arms and legs flung in every direction...

...I smiled.

I did that to her.

She smiled up at me...

...exhausted...

...and slightly guilty. "I'm sorry, Carls...I really, really tri-"

I lay my fingers across her mouth and shook my head. "Shh. It's fine. I promise you that we will...together...some other time...and soon." I paused for a moment. "I'm sorry if I hurt-"

She reached up and lay her fingers across my mouth. "I _want_ to be sore. _So badly_. I want to remember this...for a very long time."

My wet fingers gave a last, playful wiggle against her cervix...

...and then, I pulled them out of her...

...and gasped...

...when I saw the streaks of blood on them. "Oh, my God! Oh, my God, Sam!"

Still lying on her back, she looked down. "Oh yeah...my period _is_ supposed to start today."

I was shaking. "Is that...is that what this if fr-from...or...or did I...did _I_-"

"I'm pretty sure that you _didn't_," she said reassuringly. "There's a bottle of water in my backpack."

I pulled it out with my clean hand...

...along with the stack of paper towels that she had put in there, along with the bag of bacon...

...and I cleaned my hand...

...and then I cleaned between her legs.

Fortunately, I had an extra pad in my handbag.

She reached for it...

...but I shook my head...

...and, without a word...

...I attached it to her panties...

...and pulled them up.

She reached down and pulled her pants up and zipped them...

...and then...

...she grabbed both of my shoulders...

...and rolled me over...

...pinning me under her. "I think we have some unfinished business to attend to," she observed...

...as I nodded and closed my eyes...

...and lifted my hips...

...and, seconds later...

...I felt fresh air against my bare thighs...

...as my own pants were pushed down...

...and then, I felt her hand on the outside of my panties...

...caressing wetly.

"Yes...please help me.._please!_" I whispered...

...and she nodded...

...and, very slowly...

...she eased my panties down.

Sam lowered her head to my ear. "Two or three?" she asked softly.

I hesitated. "Th-three."

"Are you sure, Carls?"

I knew that it was going to hurt...

...badly...

...but, for some inexplicable reason...

...I wanted it to.

"Y-yes," I replied.

"Okay," she agreed...

...and I felt her lips on mine.

As I lay there, with my eyes still closed...

...I felt the weight of her body shift off me..

...and then...

...I felt the tips of three of her fingers trailing up and down the length of my outer lips...

...before sinking between them...

...and then...

...seconds later...

...without warning...

...quickly shoving their way up inside me.

_All the way up._

Even though I was extremely wet...

...it hurt like hell.

I tried..._so hard_...not to cry.

I failed.

She leaned down. "I'm...going to pull out-"

My eyes shot open and I grabbed her wrist. "N-no!"

"Cupcake, I can't do th-"

"I w-want to be sore,_ too!_" I insisted, grabbing her shoulders.

She didn't move.

She was scared.

"Please, Sam...please!" I sobbed.

And then, as I looked, pleadingly, into her eyes...

...something in them changed...

...and, seconds later...

...with a nod...

...she started thrusting...

...hard...

...and my sobs turned into sharp cries of pain...

...which I desperately tried to silence with my arm...

...but couldn't.

Despite my blurred vision...

...I clearly saw tears welling up in Sam's eyes.

She hated that she was hurting me.

I didn't care.

Because I knew that she'd get over it...

...once I had reassured her, again, how much I wanted this.

Lying there, now openly sobbing, I waited as patiently as I could...

...thinking that the severe pain...

...which was escalating with every single thrust...

would eventually subside...

...as my vagina grew accustomed to the force of her fingers.

It didn't.

Not in the least.

But, fortunately...

...she soon pushed her thumb into the left side of my clitoris...

...and, as it pressed against me with every forward thrust of her hand...

...that sped things up.

Considerably.

And, less than five minutes later...

….I knew that I was almost there...

...so, even though I was well aware that it was going to hurt...

...much, much more that it already did...

...I began shoving my pelvis forward against her fingers...

...as hard and as fast as I could...

...alternately sobbing and screaming (as softly as I could)...

...until, suddenly...

...my body was seized by involuntary paralysis...

...and, I felt my muscles slowly begin to tighten...

...the sensation beginning at my pelvis, and gradually radiating, simultaneously, down my legs, and up through my upper body...

...and then...

...my entire body lurched upward violently...

...and my vagina began seizing Sam's fingers...

...tightly _and _repeatedly...

...and I pressed both of my hands against my mouth...

...in a frantic attempt to muffle my screams...

...but discovered yet another thing that I'm no good at(!)

Sam wrapped her free arm around my waist...

...immobilizing me as best she could...

...as my body completely unleashed itself, with an uncontrollable, spastic, frenzied furor...

...and my limbs flailed...

...while my mind exploded...

...blasting into a thousand tiny fragments...

...scattering out in a thousand different directions...

...before they slammed back together...

...into one cohesive unit...

...with a force that, up until now, I had never comprehended existed...

...and I fell back onto the grass...

...as my entire body short-circuited...

...leaving me motionless, helpless, and completely spent.

Sam's fingers remained inside me...

...long after my spasms had stilled completely...

...because I somehow managed to generate just enough power within my drained thigh muscles to close them tightly around her hand...

...refusing to let her move it.

She leaned down...

...and smiled at me.

Silently, I reached up and wrapped my arms around her...

...and pulled her body down on top of mine.

Turning her head...

...she pressed her lips against my cheek...

...as we both lay there...

...completely exhausted.

I wanted _nothing more_ than to sleep with her...

..right there...

...but I wanted_ nothing_ _less_ than to get arrested for having sex in a public place...

...right then...

...so I opened my thighs...

...and Sam removed her fingers from my vagina...

...and her hand from between my legs...

...and then, she rolled off me...

...and I sat up. "O-o-o-o-o-w! Oh, Fucking Hell!"

I fell over backwards again.

She smiled. "You should be thanking me...for making your wish come true!"

Without warning...

I reached over...

...grabbed her shoulder...

...and shoved her down onto her back.

With a laugh, she scrambled to her knees. Grabbing the still-half-full bottle of water, and the paper towels that were lying nearby, she cleaned her hand...

...and then gently cleaned between my legs...

...as I bit back a yowl...

...and then, she leaned over me. "Lift up your hips for me," she requested.

I did...

...and let her dress me...

...wincing from the pressure of my wet pad pressing against me...

...once she had pulled my panties up.

After getting to her feet, she helped me stand up.

I moaned...

...loudly.

She laughed...

loudly.

And then...

...to my complete astonishment...

...she began to sing! "Mem-m-m-m-m-m-orie-e-e-e-e-s...like the corners of my crotch! Painful, agoni-i-i-i-izing mem-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-mories...of the way we sha-a-a-a-gged!"

Not waiting (or wanting) to hear the second stanza...

...I grabbed the front of her shirt...

...with both hands. "Shut up! And as soon as we get home, you're writing a long and sincere letter of apology to Barbra Streisand!"

With a philosophical shrug, she tossed the paper towels and the empty bottle into a nearby trash can, and then...

...we limped back around to the front of the war memorial...

...and continued walking...painfully and unsteadily...to the far side of the park.

And then...

...much to my surprise...

_...even though there were maybe fifteen people nearby..._

...she deliberately reached over...

...and took my hand!

And, deliriously happy because of it...

...more so than I could ever remember being...

...I looked over at her...

...and, as she smiled back warmly...

...something occurred to me...

...for the very first time...

...and, shocked, I deliberately slowed my pace.

"Sam...I...I never thanked you for...for everything you've done for me.._.not once!_" I exclaimed.

She shrugged. "It's okay."

"No, it's not!" I shot back. "I just realized that I've _never_ expressed my appreciation to you...for help-"

"Hey, you've had other things on your mind...like getting well," she reminded me...

...but that did nothing to lessen my guilt. "Sam, don't make excuses for me...I can't believe how incredibly thoughtless and self-centered I've been!"

"Really, don't worry about it...it's no big deal."

"Yes it is!" I insisted. "So...thank you, Sam...for taking such excellent care of me. Through all of this."

She tightened her grip on my hand. "You're welcome. I'm glad that it turned out...okay, because...I've...never really...taken care of anyone before," she admitted.

I looked over at her. "You did a fantastic job...

She blushed.

"...but still, Sam, I don't know how I'll_ ever_ be able to _begin_ to thank you...for how incredibly unselfish you were...for giving me three pints of your blo-...

"...for giving me three p-pints...

"... for giving m-me...

"...for g-giving-"

And then...

...I stopped...

...dead in my tracks...

...as The Revelation hit me...

...like a wrecking ball to my head.

In stunned silence...

...I turned, and my eyes met Sam's...

...and she was smiling...

...widely.

"S-sam?"

"Yes, Carls?" she asked...

...calmly and expectantly.

"My...my...enthusiastic swearing...

"Yes, Carls."

"...and...my ability to lie so easily to Spencer about it...

"Yes, Carls."

"...and my non-stop craving for Fat Cakes...

"Yes."

"...and the fact that I'm now a chain-chewer of gum...

"Uh-huh."

"...and my being thoughtless and self-centered...and...m-my _obsession_ with Buzz...

"Keep going, Carls.

"...and the fact that I even _thought_ about a strap-on...

"Yes, Carls."

"...and the way I...sabotaged Mrs. Benson's loaf pan...

She nodded. "Yes, Carls..._and_ the waffle iron that _YOU_ stole from her apartment."

"...it...it m-means...

"That's right, Carls...I _knew_ you'd catch on eventually."

"...and...and the average person has...ten pints of blood...

"Yes, Carls."

"...and I lost...three pints...

"Come on, Carls...you're almost there."

"...so...that means that...ever since those three transfusions from...from..._from_ _you_..."

"Go on, Carls...say it."

I grabbed her shoulders.

"_OH, MY GOD, SAM...I'M THIRTY PERCENT PUCKETT!"_

And she flung her arms open wide. "Welcome to the family, Kid!"

But, instead of rushing in them...

...I staggered backward from the impact of the shock...

...and fell against the ivy-covered, stone wall behind me.

She rushed forward. "Whoa, easy there, Carls! Are you okay?"

"Y-y-yes," I assured her. "Good thing this wall was here...otherwise I would have landed right on my fucking...Oh Shit...OH MY GOD...I mean...right on my...butt!"

She helped me to my feet...

...and I stared at her in terror. "Oh, God, Sam...does this make our relationship...INCESTUOUS?"

She stared back at me calmly. "I don't know...what do_ you_ think..._SIS?_"

I grabbed onto a nearby lamp post. "Oh, Fucking Hell! I _c-c-can't_ be a juvenile delinquent!"

"Calm down, Carls," Sam advised, "you-"

"I _can't_ calm down!" I yelled. "Good Lord, Sam! W-what am I gonna do?"

"Well, I suggest you..._Enjoy It_, Cupcake...'being me' is unbelievably liberating!" she announced...

...eagerly.

My jaw dropped. "But, what if my next stop is...j-juvie hall? You _know_ that I look horrendous in _orange_!"

"Carls, look at me."

Shaking and shell-shocked...

...I did.

"Now tell me, which would you prefer...'Penn State'...or 'State Pen'?" she inquired.

"The former," I replied...

...without a second's hesitation...

...and she smiled triumphantly. "See...you're only _thirty percent_ Sam! So, whatever filthy ideas may cross your mind..._remember_...that you can always stop if you try."

"But I _can't_ stop!" I insisted. "You've seen the downward spiral that I'm now on! Lying! Stealing! Oh, God...waffle irons today...and probably _cars_ tomorrow! And what about the non-stop way that I now curs-"

She grabbed my shoulders...

...and shook her head. "Carls...you only_ think_ you can't stop...and that's only because...up until now...you didn't realize that you needed to even _try_. As for me, there's always a split second, before I act up, when I feel a twinge of conscious. Fortunately, however..it soon passes. But, in your case...since you're only _'thirty percent Sam'_... you'll always have at least _two_ seconds!" she explained...

...to my immense relief.

"Okay, Sam...from now on, I'm sure I'll be able to curb my profuckingfanity," I replied...

...self-assured...

...and with a devious smile.

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, Carls...what am I gonna do with you?"

In response, I leaned over and whispered in her ear...

...and she pulled back and looked at me in surprise. "But...you said we were gonna talk about that...in _the future._"

I nodded. "And it's now the future...isn't it?"

"Well, yeah," she admitted, "but, as much as I find 'Naughty Carly' to be incredibly entertaining, I think you'll agree with me that it can't continue...because she's _not_ the girl I originally fell for."

I thought it over for a moment...

...and nodded...

...but then...

...I leaned over and whispered in her ear again...

...and she pulled back. "You know what I said, about ditching 'Naughty Carly'? Uh...maybe I was only _ninety percent_ right."

I nodded sagely.

She took a step closer. "Either way...I love you, Carls...so much."

"I know you do...and I'm so glad," I replied.

She nodded...

...and then, stood looking at me...

...in silence...

...waiting...

...and waiting...

...and waiting.

"And...back at ya!" I replied...

...reaching over and giving her a hard smack on the butt.

And I was off like a shot.

And she tore after me.

"Carly Shay...you're gonna pay!"

"What'd you say...that you're _so-o-o_ gay?" I taunted.

No sooner had those words left my mouth...

...then she put on a massive burst of speed.

Catching up to me...

...easily...

...she grabbed me from behind...

...and spun me around to face her...

...and, seconds later...

...after looking back at her...

...at the expression on her face...

...and at the volumes of yet-unspoken words that I saw there...

...I found myself looking down at the ground...

...and feeling suddenly, inexplicably, incredibly shy.

"Do you..._really_, Carls?" she asked...

...hesitatingly...

...yet hopefully.

I looked up from the shifting shadows at our feet, caused by the swaying tree branches above our heads...

...and directly into her eyes. "You_ know_ that I do, Sam...but, yes...I love you, too...more than I ever realized that it was possible to love another person."

And then, I watched as her eyes changed...

...and saw the way that she was looking at me...

...and, completely overwhelmed by it...

...and by_ her_...

...I shifted my now-misty gaze to the ground again.

She stepped forward...

...and put her hands on my shoulders. "Now _that's_ 'My Carly'," she exclaimed, "my sweet, shy, amazing, beautiful, incredibleCarly. Oh, God...no matter what happens...I love you...and I always will...with every part of me..._forever_."

Still feeling shy, I tried to meet her gaze...

...but I couldn't. "I promise that I'll love you back, Sam, more than you could ever comprehend..._forever_."

"I know you will, Carls. But still, I'd rather live for ten minutes _with_ you...than for ten eternities without you."

I took a step forward...

...and, still looking downward...

...I rested my forehead against hers. "You won't have to live without me for even ten seconds, Sam," I assured her, "because I'll never, _ever_ leave."

I heard a sniff...

...and I smiled...

...because I knew what it meant: That, underneath her brazen, rough-and-tough exterior...

...my Sam is really just a mushy, sensitive, sentimental little girl.

And then...

...as I lifted my eyes once more...

...I saw the warm, Early September sun in her wind-tousled hair...

...and smelled the deliciously-unmistakable, savory aroma of Fall that surrounded us...

...and heard the faint, yet distinctive shifting of the gold and auburn leaves above our heads...

...and felt the way she pulled me forward into her warm, welcoming arms...

...and tasted the indescribable bliss of Bolivian bacon...

...as her lips found mine.

The Beginning...

A/N: Thanks for following this story to its conclusion.

You've heard from me...

...and now I'd like to hear from you.

And, while you're reviewing...

...please feel free to include any CAM-related subject(s) that _you _would like to read about. Even though I have an endless supply of CAM ideas of my own, if I find _your _idea intriguing, I just might include it in a future fic.

And...while we're on the subject of future fics...

...my next one is called: _iWant My Mommy!_ (Carly needs a hug).

The first chapter should be up by the end of next week. I hope you'll check it out.


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